RE: What's love got to do with it

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:16:44 PM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

No, actually I like all kinds of women, I have an ideal just like anyone else, but hardly expect a woman to meet that perfectly, I have learned to steer clear of the wrong kind, why haven't the women who like jerks done the same? lol . By the way, your master has a nice collection of toys, cool....

It appears to me that you are infatuated with a woman who is in what you perceive to be a bad relationship (I might be wrong). If that's the case no one but this person can save herself, that is if she wants to be saved at all.

And why isn't those who truly are with jerks haven't found their way clear yet? Many reasons...we can start with low self esteem issues and end with fear. There is no single answer to this. I can tell you why I was in an abusive relationship...I just spoke to it yesterday or early today...because I felt obligated to marry him and I put up with what I could put up with until I finally said "NO MORE" and got the hell out. Every human being has to figure these things out for themselves. It is not unlike deciding to quit smoking, losing weight or quitting a job that puts too much stress on you. The person must make a concious decision to just do it. It is not our place to reason why they have not and if it is someone we love then we can only do our best to support their decisions, give them all the information we can without adding more pressure or leave them the hell alone. When they are ready then they will do what is best for them. If they never become ready then life will deal the cards as it does and we live with those consequences.

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:17:21 PM

MellowSir

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And no, lockit, just one reason that came to mind, if I knew I wouldn't ask, dominant doesn't have to equate with cruelty, male or female, just wondering what drives those in which it does....

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:18:42 PM

MellowSir

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No, I'm over the infatuation thing lol, is that how I came across? whoops lol

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:18:45 PM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Yeah I've tried asking, the answer is usually "he loves me", or his looks or money, or they're just too dumb to know any better lol

Presuming we truly are speaking about an abusive relationship and not what YOU the OP perceive as abuse:

If you have a vested interest in this person you will support them and not judge them. If you truly feel the person is "too dumb to know better" then why do you care?

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:21:15 PM

MellowSir

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Aaaargh, semantics lol, WHY does a person prefer cruelty

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:21:26 PM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

I know there are those who LIKE cruelty, I'd just like to know why, masochism aside, for any who have bad habits are harming themselves thereby being masochistic anyway, was it something in the past or is it something else, curiouser and curiouser lol

Why anyone enjoys anything is completely relative and you can poll 100 people and will get at least 95 different answers. If you can't be happy accepting life for what it is and have to know exactly why everyone likes anything you don't agree with, then you are in serious trouble.

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:23:05 PM

MellowSir

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Ok ok I give up lol, nice boots tho :)

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:23:32 PM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Well I know we all think differently, that being said, the heart of my question is WHY someone is that masochistic, I'm not meaning to come across as critical of it just curious as to the reasons....certainly I've known a few pain sluts and likely will know more, yet not one has been able to explain why the pain, physical or mental, feels good lol.....

Why does an orgasm feel good? Why does kissing feel good? Why does cuddling feel good? When you can answer that across the board for everyone then you can answer why pain feels good too. Good Luck.

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:31:15 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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There many that just want a girl to use and kick to the curb however many M/s relationships go well with out the Dom proclaiming love and romance...I am taken by another,she have my heart so therefore real love isn't possible like the love Diane and I share,,this doesn't mean the those under you don't feel the caring,warmth of a poly family,OURS are cherish and a true family member,,,it always happens,a slave/sub falls so deeply she can't function, then a sit down is in order and review the terms that bought her to us in the first place....Be up front when discussing a future relationship. Your and the slaves expection must blend or it just won't work,my two cents...bounty

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 1:50:45 PM

mistoferin

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You do realize that a Dominant who is sadistic and derives sexual gratification from inflicting pain is not the same as someone who is an abusive jerk right?

You do realize that a submissive who is a masochist and can convert pain into pleasure is not the same as someone with low self esteem that allows herself to abused right?

I am not sure but you seem to be equating BDSM, dominance and control with abuse and I am not sure why you are making that connection. They are entirely different things.

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/3/2007 4:11:15 PM

HornyToadsMI

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What a thoughtful thread! i am in love with Toad, He is my hubby. For me, i love to be paddled...it turns me on. So i guess i am one of the lucky ones.....

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RE: What's love got to do with it - 7/4/2007 9:25:47 AM

MasterFireMaam

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You are equating cruelty and abuse to what we do. It might be true for some people, but to assume it is true for everyone into SM is not a valid assumption. I do what I do with love, especially if I'm doing it for spiritual reasons.

Master Fire

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