Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Straight Doms / gay subs


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Straight Doms / gay subs Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 2:20:14 PM   
hunter44inFL


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		I'm curious about Men who identify as straight, but enjoy BDSM activities with submissive men.  I wonder why they do not identify as Bisexual?   Is it because some men do not consider BDSM activity to be sexual?    This is not meant to be disrespectful, I'm just curious!  What should a gay male sub expect from a Straight Male Dom? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 2:35:59 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		There are many forms of service that are not sexual.  Sex is great don't get me wrong here, but it's not all about sex.  My boy who is a sub, regularly plays with females at parties, public gathering, etc.  I allow this, it's not sexual, it may be erotic but not sexual. I would not want a female, but I can see the value they could provide me in other areas that are not sex related. 

As to what you could execpt from a Master, you would need to ask him.  You could be used for work in the garden, upkeep of the yard, driver, house boy the possiabilites are endless.  You are providing valuable service just not sex.

Mike

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 2:38:29 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not being a staright male Dom, I can only surmise that the Dom wants the BDSM element without sexual activity and it's possible that the straight male Dom knows that there's less risk of any emotionsal attachment from the sub.
  I'd also be curiious to hear other opinions on this myself! This is an area which I've never considered either!

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 4:10:49 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hunter44inFL

I'm curious about Men who identify as straight, but enjoy BDSM activities with submissive men.  I wonder why they do not identify as Bisexual?   Is it because some men do not consider BDSM activity to be sexual?    This is not meant to be disrespectful, I'm just curious!  What should a gay male sub expect from a Straight Male Dom? 


Having seen straight men and women flog and be flogged by people of their own gender... Sexual attraction doesn't always matter during scenes, particularly if there isn't going to be any kind of sex. Even with people who are of compatible sexualities, it doesn't have to be sexual. The other night I saw a bi man playing with a straight woman but, knowing them personally, I knew that at least one of those people have absolutely no sexual desire for the other and probably would have been turned off by the idea of sex with them.

As what you should expect... simply ask. If you seek to be owned by a straight male, you may not ever serve him sexually. If you are simply scening, ask what sort of aftercare and what sort of things you will be doing during the scene. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 5:07:18 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		I knew a straight male dom who has owned several gay males through the years.  They provided service and he also used them for impact play,. bondage, needle work, and other various activites.

A side note, they often would pick up girls and bring them home for him to play with.  As he once told me, "They bring home the best looking women."

K

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/3/2007 7:59:10 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		There is an energy difference when I do SM with men and with women. I don't list myself as bisexual because I want it to be clear that I don't find men sexually appealing. I find the SM with men very rewarding but the SM I engage in with men is limited to things that are not so directly sexual. While I hear from people who have watched me work with men that it is sometimes sensual and can be "hot". It for me is not a "sexual" matter, but the bottom's perspective might be entirly different.

If I were to identify as bisexual then a male submissive gay, bi, straight, might well think that the potential for actual sex and romance might be there, that would be misleading. 

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/4/2007 1:08:12 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		We have been running play parties for many years, and they are genuinely pansexual. Straights and gays mix happily, because after a while you stop seeing gender and just see bodies having sensual experiences. It is actually a relief to play with someone who isn't interested in you sexually, as you can concentrate on the BDSM without being distracted by the chemistry. I find it refeshing to play with gay women - I know how to push their buttons, but that's all it is - play.

What I would be wary of, however, is someone claiming to be straight who has issues with homosexuality. You would need to know the person well if playing privately. I get countless emails from men interested in "forced bi." How can you "force" someone to be bi? What they are really saying is that they are interested but don't want to own responsibility for it (sits back and ducks the flack).

But then again, does it really matter if the Dominant is interested ... you'd just get "more bang for your buck" chuckle

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/4/2007 1:15:49 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm fascinated by how many combinations there are in BDSM!

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/4/2007 8:34:50 AM   
hunter44inFL


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply to my question.  I hope more people will weigh in with their thoughts.   I'm definately sexually aroused by the idea of being dominated/humiliated by other men, but I worry that it may not be a completely satisfying experience for me if the Dom has no interest in the sexual aspects of the scene.  If I do get aroused to the point of sexual climax, will that be considered inappropriate by the Dom if he identifies as Straight?    Because giving sexual pleasure is so important to me, I wonder if I'm asking for frustration by even considering meeting up with Straight Doms....but on the other hand, I know there are guys out there (including Straight guys) who enjoy getting their dick sucked and have no issues with having another man do it.  Obviously that is a sexual activity.  I wonder if the same translates to BDSM....  

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/4/2007 8:47:57 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		IF a master uses his male property does this make him bi sexual,NO a master must constantly keep his property tuned and in their place,Diane has a sissy boy or two,those are hers I don't use them but if a male slave ,an exceptional male slave,under my collar then yes property you know..An ol' master to me long ago while we were discussing this very subjec..he said"William in the dark a warm tight hole is just that a hole" my two centsa..bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/4/2007 8:51:46 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		MNaybe in some ways it won't be fully satisfying for you sexually, though most Doms will primarily be concerned with what they want. As for you climaxing, it'll be the Dom who will take control over that and will determine if he'll allow you to reach climax or not, irregardless if they are straight or gay. 
   From what I've seen, many straight men do not consider recieving oral sex from another man a gay sexual activity, to them it's a blow job, period. When I was collared, my Master had me orally service a straight male we were playing with. He has no sexual interest in other males yet when he was deep in subspace, he welcomed being orally serviced by a male. This was just another way of a Dom controlling the scene and the subs.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/5/2007 2:36:02 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Today I was talking to a couple of gay pro Doms I know well. They were telling me that they are getting an increasing number of requests for sessions from straight men who want "pure" BDSM without the sexual distractions, and the guilt of playing with women if they are in relationships. I remembered this thread with interest...
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/5/2007 2:43:51 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i once had a gay man tell me that if i ever saw him in a dungeon he would possibly do a scene with me...he is not at all sexually attracted to females, but he is, by his own confession an equal oppourtunity sadist...and the way i interpreted that...if the person is consenting and their non-sexual kinks (for lack of a better word) match up, he's not gonna run screaming cause that person has pink bits instead of dangly bits...though, i have met some gay men that would....

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/6/2007 8:04:57 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		As a straight male dom who is in active negotiation to own two gay male slaves, I believe I might be able to provide some insight on this topic.

Some background might help...  I am currently in a relationship with a woman who is also a dominant.  You might even say our relationship is quite vanilla, as there is very little power exchange between us, and no BDSM play at all.  We own a femle slave together (my g/f is bisexual) and we are quite happy in our family.  From time to time, Elle (my g/f) has found a boy she likes, and many times we will both play with him.  These boys tend to be straight, so there is no real sexual attraction between them and I, but I do enjoy playing with them in a D/s or SM context.

Recently, however, I have started to develop a desire for a manservant.  A male slave to take care of the little things for me...play Alfred to my Batman, if you will.  He needn't be gay, as his sexual prefrences are of little import to me, but the only men I have found who seem to fit my search criteria are gay.

So let me see if I can shed some light on your questions:

quote:

ORIGINAL: hunter44inFL
If I do get aroused to the point of sexual climax, will that be considered inappropriate by the Dom if he identifies as Straight?


If a male slave of mine were to climax in the course of whatever it was that he was doing for me, I would not find it inappropriate at all.  I think it would be quite flattering, given that it would probably not involve any direct manipulation of his genitals.

quote:


Because giving sexual pleasure is so important to me, I wonder if I'm asking for frustration by even considering meeting up with Straight Doms....


Does "giving sexual pleasure" have to be so literal?  Could you not derive pleasure from providing a service to your Master as he found sexual pleasure?  In other words, could you be there to help him chain a female to a table, hand him the various candles and whips he wanted to use on her, provide any assistance while he fucked her and then clean them up when he was done?  Would that be enough for you, or would you have to be more directly involved?

I know that what I am looking for in a male slave is one who will serve me in any way I desire, understanding that it will not be sexual acts that I want from him...but he may be very involved in the sexual acts I do desire.

Hope that helps...

Taggard


_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/12/2007 11:20:25 AM   
Despot


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/6/2005
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline 		I have considered myself a straight Dom for years. I never considered myself bi or gay. I never required a bj or sex. I do love the bdsm and especially having a boy (or girl) over my lap for prolonged spankings, and intimate inspections, fingering, dildos, etc. I believe I like the power trip and the boys I deal with usually like coming back for more. They all know I am straight and I will sometimes award them by allowing them to give me a bj. To me it is a non-issue.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/12/2007 11:38:00 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

I knew a straight male dom who has owned several gay males through the years.  They provided service and he also used them for impact play,. bondage, needle work, and other various activites.

A side note, they often would pick up girls and bring them home for him to play with.  As he once told me, "They bring home the best looking women."

K


OMFG!!!!

I have thought about taking on a male submissive for the exact reasons you state in your first post.  I never thought about the impact of the second paragraph and that is so very very true.  Looks like I am going to have to go shopping for a gay male submissive!!!

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/12/2007 1:22:15 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
Recently, however, I have started to develop a desire for a manservant.  A male slave to take care of the little things for me...play Alfred to my Batman, if you will.  He needn't be gay, as his sexual prefrences are of little import to me, but the only men I have found who seem to fit my search criteria are gay.


As a straight female service-oriented submissive I have wondered on occasion if finding the right gay male Dominant might be a good answer for what I am looking to give. Since service is my primary interest I could see that working well for me and him.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/12/2007 7:04:49 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		This is an awesome thread. i think it is HOT to see a straight guy play a bi/gay male. I like what Archer and a couple others said - about the idea that there may be sexual thoughts/stimulation on the part of the bottom, which is appropriate and as long as it's ok with bottom that the top not provide any sexual interaction, cool.

Same goes for women. I think women are totally sexy, love to touch and whatnot, but am not truly bisexual. However, I do have a fantasy of being erotically or sensually played by a leather dyke.  

To the above poster, there is a really beautiful union between as gay leatherman master and a lesbian leatherdyke in our community. Master Jim and slave marsha). There's bdsm and complete service but no sex. He allows her to have a relationship on her own for that. I'm in awe of the beauty of their love .

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/13/2007 2:31:36 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hunter44inFL

What should a gay male sub expect from a Straight Male Dom?


Denial. Either the sub will be denied from contact, or the "Dom" is denying his sexuality.

PS- Read some other replies. It seems people are afraid to admit that wanting to interact in a manner of sexual nature with a member of the same sex makes such an individual homosexual (or bisexual, metrosexual, etc.). I suppose one might agrue that because the sexual interaction isn't for the sake of the other being of the same gender, it's not homosexual? Are they under some kind of illusion that hetrosexuals think, "OMG, OMG, it's a girl I'm having sex with!" to get themselves horny? No. They're attracted to a set of individuals that happens to be some subset of females.

In any case, my point being, a lot more homosexual people out there than even such individuals may realize. Homophobia maintain the denial? Meh, who cares? Homosexuals are more common than most seem to want to believe.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 7/13/2007 2:34:20 PM >

(in reply to hunter44inFL)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/13/2007 2:55:30 PM   
Carrianna


Posts: 273
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

I knew a straight male dom who has owned several gay males through the years.  They provided service and he also used them for impact play,. bondage, needle work, and other various activites.

A side note, they often would pick up girls and bring them home for him to play with.  As he once told me, "They bring home the best looking women."

K


OMFG!!!!

I have thought about taking on a male submissive for the exact reasons you state in your first post.  I never thought about the impact of the second paragraph and that is so very very true.  Looks like I am going to have to go shopping for a gay male submissive!!!


Ummmmmmmmmmm does that work the other way?  If I get a lesbian submissive will she bring home the best looking men?  No she cant they are all gay!!  *Wink*

Brilliant thread!!!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Straight Doms / gay subs Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094