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RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/14/2007 5:23:08 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
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About 4 years ago we met a couple of gay pro Doms at a fetish event. One of them was playing with a new flogger. I laughingly turned my back and offered it for target practice. There was a moment's hestitation and then he whipped me several times. Afterwards we got talking, and we've been friends ever since. Last week I was talking to him, and he told me that scene had been a huge turn around for him. It had spun him right out. He had never hit a woman before, so it changed his whole way of thinking about BDSM. It also resulted in the two of them bringing their subs to our play parties. A lot of Dungeons claim to be pansexual, but the reality is that few are. Dungeon owners actually have to make the effort in order to achieve it, it doesn't just happen.

I mentioned to Master my conversation with the Dom, and it got him thinking - as only Doms can, chuckle. It led to him arranging to give me to him at the play party we attended last night. It was my first proper experience playing with a gay Top, and it was something very different - there is a quality about male/male play that to me is very exciting - very Dominant as well as quite hard. Having broken the ice once before, he didn't change his style just because I was female, and gave me a very intense flogging after first creating a rope harness which left white marks amongst the red.

It was an amazing experience and one that will stick in my memory. We all have a lot to teach each other. Cross over play is a very special thing.

:))
LH
who got punished for being so cheeky at that first fetish event by her Master, but has never lived to regret it, hehehe

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RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/14/2007 6:35:55 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

LadyHeart,

Getting gays to play in het spaces is hard, it is as much them staying apart as us hets avoiding them, at least in the communites I play in.

Gay men and women DO play differently and anyone seeking more depth and intensity owes it to themselves to check out groups/spaces that cater to them as you will learn something watching them.

quote:

and gave me a very intense flogging after first creating a rope harness which left white marks amongst the red.

Oh that is HOT!!!!!!!!1

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Post #: 22

RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/15/2007 6:18:36 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Getting gays to play in het spaces is hard, it is as much them staying apart as us hets avoiding them, at least in the communites I play in.

Gay men and women DO play differently and anyone seeking more depth and intensity owes it to themselves to check out groups/spaces that cater to them as you will learn something watching them.

I agree, Michael, and that was exactly my point. The het community has to actively seek them out, or they assume they are not welcome. We made our Dungeon available to the lesbian kink community to run a few parties of their own. This resulted in them comfortably joining in with the main group. It was the reason for my cheeky trick with the gay Dom with the flogger - the result was that ice was broken, and they've been attending our events ever since, along with some of their friends.

The comment that the gay men make is this. When they do BDSM play at their own gatherings, it's a big draw card, but it attacts the wrong kind of audience. They can't concentrate on the play because of all the sexual come on's. So when they are in the mood for "straight" BDSM (pun intended) they come to our Dungeon, because then they can play undistracted.

Why bother to make the effort? Well, you've already given the answer, smiles. Nice to see someone who understands....

:))
LH

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Post #: 23

RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/26/2007 7:04:57 AM

ComposedControl

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2007
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I believe that Dominance and submission are a sexuality but I find women so much more attractive that gay slaves would neither please me nor find joy in serving me. However, I think it is always important to recognize the courage and committment a slave has made in finding who it is and then I have an extra bit of respect that a Gay slave has come out twice so I do take the time to treat them with the same expectations of comportment and concentration on their slave being as I do female slaves.

(in reply to hunter44inFL)

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RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/26/2007 6:40:50 PM

SireKane

Posts: 105
Joined: 1/22/2004
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I am a straight dominant man. My style of BDSM is very sexual. I would not consider taking on a male slave.

Kane

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Post #: 25

RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/27/2007 12:36:53 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

There is an energy difference when I do SM with men and with women. I don't list myself as bisexual because I want it to be clear that I don't find men sexually appealing. I find the SM with men very rewarding but the SM I engage in with men is limited to things that are not so directly sexual. While I hear from people who have watched me work with men that it is sometimes sensual and can be "hot". It for me is not a "sexual" matter, but the bottom's perspective might be entirly different.

If I were to identify as bisexual then a male submissive gay, bi, straight, might well think that the potential for actual sex and romance might be there, that would be misleading.

This is it, in a nutshell.

For me, it's also less of a focus on S and M activities, more so on the natural D/s interaction that occurs. I wouldn't actively seek male submissives for any sort of relationshiop, though, simply because it prevents them from possibly enjoying a far more satisfying, deep relationship with a man who can reciprocate fully.

In short, D/s isn't sexually motivated for me. In a relationship with the capacity to grow sexual for me (i.e. male/female interaction) the D/s simply adds a stronger tie that binds.

Stephan

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RE: Straight Doms / gay subs - 7/27/2007 1:11:10 AM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
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this one refrained from including any sexual interactions as part of her BDSM experiences.. it was not until she came to be with her Master that we have slowly been incorperating sexual activity as part of the entire package.

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Post #: 27