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behindmirrors -> RE: Are you sub because of a guilty conscience? (7/5/2007 11:00:08 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine
I have often wondered through conversing with various subs - male and female- if they like being submissive and punishment because they themselves feel unworthy from past transgressions. Like they "did their spouses wrong" by cheating and feel the need to cleanse themselves?
I personally do not fall into the category of feeling unworthy, or having a need to "cleanse myself" of past trangressions- and I will do nearly anything to avoid getting punished by my Master, in fact. I'm much happier (as is he) working hard to not need to be punished.
However, from what my Master has said about a past submissive of his (his first, in fact)- that is exactly why she submitted to him- to atone for past transgressions she had made against him. It's also why that didn't end up too well for either of them. She was seeking for him to take out his anger on her, for him to use her because she felt guilty for using him. So, it does exist for some- but it's personally not my style.
I submitted to my Master and became his slave because it felt right to do so for both of us. I was nervous about it at first, but it was something I had fantacized about for many years, and brought it up when I knew I loved him and I knew I trusted him. It has been a beautiful two years, and I hope for many more.
I have not had an instance that I feel the need to punish myself for, at least not in a relationship or sexual experience- that would be like asking to be punished because I was raped against my will. Rediculous. I am perfectly capable of making my own amends with the things that have happened in my life, and I do so. But I do not support punishing myself, and especially not if that punishment involves another person.
I do this out of joy, and out of pleasure. Personally, I don't think I need any more reason than that.
behindmirrors.
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