|
Mercnbeth -> RE: trying to understand sadism (7/5/2007 9:53:18 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: yieldingcontrol
I think a lot of the criticism of Lady Hugs comes from people that are put off by a person (particularly a woman) with strong opinions. I for one appreciated her contribution and so was a little surprised when someone felt it necessary to call her down on expressing her opinion as unequivocally as she did. Know what I mean? (jmo)
Hold it a second. This statement speaks in absolutes:quote:
In S&M--the criteria by today's standards, is that we both--TOP and bottom--MUST enjoy it. Otherwise, it is not S&M by modern standards but, abuse, torture and visit back to the Inquisition where S&M wasn't consensual. Today's "standards"? "not S&M by modern standards? Anyone making such representations should be taken to task, especially in this media. It must be taken to task, because many people come here trying to make sense of what they are feeling about this lifestyle. Seeing a representation that there are "modern standards" to follow implies any other path is "sub-standard". How can you not take this position to task?
There is no verification of qualifications of any poster. Even the published ones should not be used or considered dogma. Here, it's represented that by "modern standards" there must be consensual agreement and desire to feel the sensation inflicted or to be inflicted by the Dominant. That is not a requirement and the associating the alternation with medieval torture, indicates a lack of experience with the mental aspect of what can occur between people even if the individual's only experience is supports his/her position.
Readers beware, nice salutations and proper use of grammar do not reflect ability or experience. Although there is a movement toward interjecting 'Political Correctness' in this lifestyle, many people active in the community do not follow the program. Dominants may or may not be sadists in the eyes of outside observers depending upon the specific activity they are doing at the time, but at their core is a streak of sadism. It may be reflected in the use of a cane or the use of words; but they enjoy inflicting pain whether its emotional or physical.
Submissives may or may not be masochists. They could be, but it isn't required by Dominant. They can deal with a masochist and have fun acting upon their masochism, but the key to a submissive forming a relationship with a Dominant is the submissive puts the Dominant's desires above theirs. They experience the "pain" inflicted by the Dom because it serves the Dom. In turn it serves the relationship - the ultimate power above both the Dom and sub.
There are all levels of this dynamic. None above or below any other, just different. The "sensationalist" on either side of the flogger sees the giving and taking of the sensation in the same terms as any physical activity. The mentalist, needs nothing but words and mental intercourse to achieve the same goal. Everything in between and in every combination occurs. Anyone claiming and judging others by a "standard" and claiming that "standard" represents THE "modern standard" does not represent any community, group, local/national organization, or the six other "lifestyle" people we just spent the weekend. And although all of us would enjoy the use of medieval torture chamber; we don't consider our philosophy or attitude "medieval".
I do what I want with beth because I want to do it. she does it because she committed to being my slave and serving me. There is nothing more to understand.
"Know what I mean?" No - no more than you can know what I mean concerning beth. We don't represent 'dogma'. We are not 'absolute'. Hell - I don't know if we even qualify as 'real'. We always say we 'are'. There is nothing to understand other than when you are with us you are seeing us as we are, as we live, as it is - for us.
|
|
|
|
