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LadyHugs -> RE: trying to understand sadism (7/12/2007 8:36:09 PM)
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Dear PAsextoy4u, Ladies and Gentlemen;
In another effort to explain from my side of Sadism; there are many flavors of pain that can be used and unfortunately, all to often abused.
Indeed there are as many types of Sadists and masochists as there are ice cream flavors at Baskin Robbins. It really is difficult to put something that is felt and sensations used as to create the chemical reactions as to make a launch into flying or subspace; into terms with any solid results. Again, some people see the glass half empty, others see it half full.
I will do my best to give an example or so, to explain 'pain' before the pleasure aspects. One example only women who have given birth can know all too well--the labor, discomfort, the work and the tears, the hormonal roller-coaster as the baby is ready to come into the world we're in--not within Mom. It is that labor, the pain which you know will bring the bundle of joy in your life--it is that goal which gives resolve to see you through much pain. Some Moms are lucky and don't have much pain at all. But, each birth--is unique and no two are the same.
So, why do women go through the pain? --Answers are many. Another example is the pain before orgasm for some. It is that brief pain before release and then the body seemingly creates it's own 'sleep aid.' Have you noticed how guys need to lay back and recover--hard work. Of course they need to do a lot of work as they do the 'Elvis Pelvis' per se. Women can also experience this brief pain before release. It is just but for a moment--so why do humans push beyond the pain--perhaps as most may find; it is the relief after the pain. Athletes are another group which often say; 'No pain-no gain.' So, why do track people push themselves so hard and push through pain--not only for competition but, sometimes for their self pride, image and accomplishment. Running a race--the joy of winning--that 'high' is much like sub-space.
Those seeking that rush or endorphin high--cannot achieve it on their own. It is like medical studies that show, people who are ticklish aren't ticklish when they attempt to tickle themselves. The need for an external aid, device and or in S&M; the Sadist provides the external force that the body as well as the mental and emotional side cannot mute. Again, tickling factor--that other person can tickle. Should it not be known, tickling can be a form of Sadism.
As for me, I work with reactions -- negotiations are when I do find out how the boundaries are for that person. Again, people are their own best Masters. They know what gets them in a happy space and for some--it requires a bit of pain before they go into subspace. Some cases have been extremely brief discomfort and they're off in subspace happy.
I must make another effort, as to explain that there is a difference between 'hurting' someone and 'pain' scenes. I go back to a person's intentions. Only the person's spirit of intent knows for sure-- I don't like to 'hurt' people. I will enjoy delivering pain to those who seek it as to create the body chemical within them to create that 'high' like a drug trip or being super buzzed with drinking--and all without injesting/consuming drugs and or alcohol to do so. My pleasure comes from delivering my skills, knowledge as to permit that person to have a high without using drugs and or alcohol. We are also witnessing of late, the medical studies by Russian doctors how S&M 'can'/'may' give healthy benefits.
For me, I won't participate in humiliation and or a pain scene without the full cooperation and consent of the other party. It isn't fun for me if the other person isn't having fun. To me, pain play does not require injury, tissue damage and heavy impact. If I can achieve the same result by a tap like twiddling a Number 2 pencil between my fingers type of impact or touch if you will--as others do with massive hard strikes with a cane--I shall do so. Working with the electrical system of the body (nerves) I will. One of my favorite S&M scenes involves textures and sensations --did anybody realize or care to notice, that color of bunny furs also have different textures? Mind games, suggesting and tricking the body and body is a form of Sadism--guessing wrong about the color fur could be just as fun and no impact period. It is much like taste testing with the food but, in this form--it is testing and feeling with textures, sensations and having fun with the reactions. For example moistened braided leather from an old cheap bullwhip, it can be suggested that it is a snake--using creative juices; suggestions can create the mental sadism for somone. For those in the modern scene it is known as a "Brain/Mind F__k."
It is fun for me, to see someone to confuse burlap for a bunny fur pelt and a bunny fur pelt with sandpaper. I mention this sort of Sadism; where it does not have to require 'pain' or 'injury' to the body. It is even more fun when the submissive/masochist has lost time. They think they have only been worked with for thirty minutes; when in fact they have been scened with for over four hours. Tired without having to 'work' --it is a pleasure to see them happy and high in subspace just for sensation sadism.
Because it is an electrical exchange, energy will be exchanged. It is only broken off when the scene or role play is finished. It is much like an echo, where energy bounces off each other like voices repeat back. It is much like a dance and as a person recieving pain may cry or laugh and other reactions; we remain connected and we enjoy them in their moment of discomfort; much like the contorted face of a lover about ready to cum. To deny the relief--is at times more cruel than the discomfort or burn and or pain prior to orgasm. This can be proven independently if a woman; by placing a vibrating 'egg' at high vibration against the clitorus--as much as it builds it then feels hot to a woman, then the pricklely pain and the desire to make it stop comes--you hold it on that side of the clitorus and then you thrash and 'suffer' per se--seeing it through you stop or remove it from the clitorus--this too is a form of sadism but, more on the sensual side. The throbbing, twitching--this is the pleasure to sadism and to get there the pain to get the pleasure aspects. It is also a release and relief. Body chemicals change the mixture or recipe if you will--all these stages are body chemical changes--as the nerve bundles may be the wiring--the conducting forces are the external influences, such as pain, pleasure and relief. For those who aren't mechanical--the car battery has metal plates inside the case, filled with acid (especially older batteries), the positive energy and negative energy poles go to the alternator--which regulates and balances the energy. A Sadist is similar to an alternator and generator which goes into the battery (the masochist/submissive) and the chemicals react with the plates and thus creates the juice/power of a battery. It is good practice to check the battery as to keep the liquid covering the plates; usually water is added. As a Sadist, I check in with the submissive/mascohist as to maintain a balance with them as much as they do for themselves.
Some wish to wear their marks as a pride thing. It is a bit like holding the trophy or ribbon.
It isn't so much being injured--but, something of real pride. Others do not wish marks--again, certain techniques won't leave marks and or marks that disappear in a few hours. Each person's body heals differently.
Sadism can be used as to promote catharsis. A person who needs and wants to cry but cannot, may find that in a catharsis frame of which some pain applied triggers the emotions and sensations to which creates the door or window of opportunity to permit a purge, healing and renewal. This is not a punishment venue--but, in my mind's eyes--a healing venue. I do this out of love and concern. It is just another tool. For some, it might just be as affective as embracing them in a hug, holding them close and petting them with the kindest of touches. This too can be just as affective as a flogging with anything from bunny pelts and or mink stoal and or a cat-o-nine tails. I work as to tailor things to the individual.
Sometimes S&M doesn't need a reason other than for just plain fun. Again, it really is an individual thing and each couple really have to tailor things to suit the wants and needs of those involved.
Religon and Sadism. I often think of the conversations with a Catholic Priest who also was the legal council of the Catholic Church to which he often shared his personal perspectives as far as the rites, rituals and ceremonies of the historical and modern Church. (I am not Catholic by the way but, we had a mutual enjoyment of history and law). By his experiences, being rather old at the time, was brought up in the times of his teachers relating how they wore scratchy clothes and subjected to flagulations and or self flagulations. He said, the intent was at that time for the opportunity for atonement. This gave the opportunity to reflect, to suffer and or pay in a way, for their sins as Jesus did for all mankind. We see this occasionally on TV in some Middle-East's religous practices where men take a chain flail and beat their shoulders hard.
Of course the Inquisition period was in the eyes of the Church at that time, to have people confess their sins and convert back to the Church as the only 'true' salvation. Again, times have changed and methods have changed --and yet at times remains the same.
It is medical fact, that over doing with impact, clamping and binding; will result in doing injury to the body. This is why I want so much for better medical education on what is done in the scene. Knowing medical facts and laying out the risks are important to me--I share risks with all my play partners, as to inform them as to permit them to make choices regarding their body.
History of civilization has many incidents of which can be deemed elements of Sadism. It is hoped by these days and within the community at large; that it is for the right reasons for those involved in giving sadist techniques as much as it for those who recieve sadistic techniques; to include leaving people in the same and or better condition than when we started.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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