RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (Full Version)

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Lordandmaster -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/6/2007 8:56:02 PM)

Now there's some good old-fashioned useless advice.

She never said she wasn't happy with her master.  Why do you think you know what she needs better than she does?



Aileen68 -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/6/2007 9:01:18 PM)

I think you're just in a dry spell.  It happens.
It doesn't last forever unless you want it to.



eyesopened -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/7/2007 5:39:05 AM)

i read this thread with a completely differnt view.  In the past i had a Dominant who declared up front that my orgasms were my responsibility, not His.  However, He never denied or controled my orgasms at all...they were completely my own responsibility.  What that meant was i did not have to ask permission to cum, i could enjoy our sexual activities fully and respond naturally with all the intensity i wanted.  If, i did not have an orgasm from our activities, oh well, that wasn't His problem.  What He wanted was to not be reduced to a "was it good for you too honey?  here, what can I do to ensure you get the earth to move?"  In other words, He allowed me to get my needs met but was simply not going to get into a situation where He was my servant in this regard.  It took me a couple of months to figure this out but once i did i got to be the hellcat i can be during sex and not feel in the least guilty... He really loved my total involvement in sex, unrepressed. 




DominicsJoy -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/7/2007 7:43:16 AM)

Do you love him? Do you think he loves you? These are important to ask yourself. He needs to know that you are struggling with this because if unresolved it will effect your relationship. Are you really wanting to risk that? We all deal with issues that we may not enjoy discussing openly, but if you are ready to air this publicly then you should be willing to sit next to him on the bed and whisper into his ear that your finger is getting tired, that you miss his caress and have been lonely. A few candles to set the mood and some nice music can remind him that your relationship together deserves some attention too. I think if you do get over your fear of approaching him on this you will find that your self loathing will evaporate.

Best wishes.
Master's girl- joy



LeatherBentOne -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/7/2007 11:05:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: k8trix

Hmmm...I wonder if your Master's focus on his own needs has effected your own ...maybe you're -so- focused on his needs that masturbation feel selfish or wrong to you?


This could be the case, thats why, as someone suggested, maybe he can order you to masturbate and solve the problem.



nyrisa -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/7/2007 11:35:24 AM)

I think you do need to talk to him. I also think you should be aware that the possible outcomes could be either to:

a. concern himself more with giving you sexual pleasure while getting his own
b. tell you to either masturbate or don't masturbate, but either way, don't bother him with it
c. tell you to stop masturbating at all, and don't bother him about it anymore

I kind of thing b and c are more likely to happen, because it just does not sound like your enjoyment matters a lot to him. That could be what is making you feel so bad about masturbation, maybe making you feel unworthy of pleasure. You'd have to consider the relationship as a whole; do you get enough positive benefits other than sex to make it worthwhile, or is it a negative equation where you are constantly putting in and getting little in return.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: i am hoping that someone has dealt with this before... (7/7/2007 11:41:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

Hey darkclouds,

You know, I read your 2nd post, had a knee-jerk reaction to it and decided it would probably be best to not respond...then I went to read another thread and your post was still bothering me, so I had a change of heart. Take what I'm about to say with about a teaspoon of salt, b/c it might take more than a grain of the stuff. I already know what I'm about to type is gonna sound very judgmental and most likely reflects a lack of understanding of your particular power dynamic...but I can't help but wonder if part of your current aversion to masturbation has to do with the fact that your Master just doesn't seem to give a flying f*** about an area of your life that is obviously quite important to you. To me, it almost feels like he has a certain contempt for your sexual needs...and that to me is a shitty attitude for a Master to have toward his slave. Plain and simple. When he took ownership of you, he took ownership of your sexuality. It's part of who you are.

I hope I'm misreading what you are saying here...Perhaps I just don't understand, if so, please set me straight. But to me, a Master has a responsibility toward the well-being of his slave. If he's not up to the task or just doesn't give a shit, perhaps he should release the slave and let someone else who cares give it a go.

Again, knee-jerk reaction...salt...and all that.

MNN
My knee jerk reaction as well....I agree...Tempting



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