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Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 4:35:14 AM   
submissiveshe4


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		As far as I can tell, this is very simply a place where anyone can subscribe and post a photo and a profile of themselves and basically ask for a match to any kind of "adult" relationship that they are looking for without fear of critism, correct? So can someone tell me why would a person go above and beyond to lie about and conceal their true situation? I am not speaking of stretching the truth a little or neglecting to divulge one or two minor things about themselves, I am talking about people that prey upon a specific type, in this case submissives.
Someone claiming to be "a Dom with many years of experience, single and looking for a 24/7 fully committed relationship that could lead to a permanent, life long committment" who is infact married, still lives with their wife and children, etc.?
Is this type of thing allowed to continue once discovered or should I be sending up the flag to warn others?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 4:53:29 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

As far as I can tell, this is very simply a place where anyone can subscribe and post a photo and a profile of themselves and basically ask for a match to any kind of "adult" relationship that they are looking for without fear of critism, correct?


Incorrect. People are always judging, even here. Stick around long enough and you'll see.

quote:

So can someone tell me why would a person go above and beyond to lie about and conceal their true situation?


Because some people lie. It happens all the time.

quote:

I am not speaking of stretching the truth a little or neglecting to divulge one or two minor things about themselves, I am talking about people that prey upon a specific type, in this case submissives.


Ah little lie vs. big lie. They are all lies. They are all falsities. They lie in this case because they are predators.

quote:

Someone claiming to be "a Dom with many years of experience, single and looking for a 24/7 fully committed relationship that could lead to a permanent, life long committment" who is infact married, still lives with their wife and children, etc.?


Happens all the time. Thems the breaks! It sucks, I know, but it's part of life. It doesn't happen only on these boards. You'll find jokers like these on LavaLife and all sorts of non-kink dating sites.

quote:

Is this type of thing allowed to continue once discovered or should I be sending up the flag to warn others?

Not much you can do to be honest. You can tell a Moderator and report this particular person, but that's about it. Not that I am doubting your honesty at this time, but how do we know he is not your ex-Dom and you are trying to flame him? Believe me, some people would stoop so low. See why we don't have an "expose the creep" board? It would be a cesspool.

I'm warning you in advance you might get flammed for this post as we generally aren't fond of people using these boards to rant. I'm not going to flame you because I can empathise with your frustration. And I would recommend to those who have their flamethrowas handy to be nice to the newbie.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:17:39 AM   
submissiveshe4


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		LadyAngelika,
Thank you for your kind words of advise and warnings! The best way to learn sometimes is to just "jump in feet first".

Let the flame-throwers fly if they must!

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:29:16 AM   
FuriousAngel


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		I am so very sorry that happened to you, submissiveshe. It's a jagged pill to swallow, but everything LadyAngelika shared is quite factual. I hope your heart wasn't too wrapped up in the individual. I know all too well how overwhelming D/s can be for new submissives in itself, nevermind factor in the other realities of life such as what you just faced. You're not alone, and assuming you are willing to take a very close look at yourself, what unfolded, and above all, educate yourself? Then rest assured, you will be just fine! Take it from someone who knows. Knowledge is power!



quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I would recommend to those who have their flamethrowas handy to be nice to the newbie.

- LA


I think that was a very sweet gesture on your behalf, LadyAngelika. I have observed that the new members, when hurt/angry/confused, seem to reach out via the board to a community they feel part of. I'm sure it's very distressing to find themselves so unexpectedly under siege. What is common knowledge to many of the experienced in the lifestyle, or even to someone like me who lurked the board for so long, is not to many who join. Very kind of you indeed! *s*

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 6:55:07 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		I believe any dating site you go to, whether BDSM style or vanilla, has their share of liars. Anyone can go onto a site and say what they want, its sad but a fact of life. There will always be liars out there. I am sorry that it happened to you, it does make you think twice about getting involved again. Good luck.

perfection

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 7:01:32 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Someone claiming to be "a Dom with many years of experience, single and looking for a 24/7 fully committed relationship that could lead to a permanent, life long committment" who is infact married, still lives with their wife and children, etc.?


He is trying to live out his fantasy life online just as many other's are. It doesn't matter what you or I think as long as he gets his jollies fulfilled.
And, of course the wife doesn't find out. For that to happen he would have to communicate.

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 10:07:03 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005
Anyone can go onto a site and say what they want, its sad but a fact of life. There will always be liars out there. I am sorry that it happened to you, it does make you think twice about getting involved again. Good luck.

perfection

Predatory behavior/liars who seek to use you to fulfill their needs happens when you meet people at the bars and in your neighborhood too.
It's very important to pay attention and match words with deeds, and that way you will be able to pick out the wankers sooner than later before they have a major impact on your life..
I'm sorry that it happened to you Submissive, but it is as LA said
quote:

Happens all the time. Thems the breaks! It sucks, I know, but it's part of life. It doesn't happen only on these boards. You'll find jokers like these on LavaLife and all sorts of non-kink dating sites.


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to perfection20005)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 2:24:37 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		OH MY GOD SOMEONE LIED ON THE INTRENET?

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 3:15:03 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		The Internet, being for the most part anonymous, combined with the fact that most communication is taking place through the written word, and that it's also a product of PC's becoming a household item like the telephone, has created the situation you speak of here. It's completely changed communication...in many ways good as well as bad. In essence, it allows people to behave irresponsibly and many are doing just that. We can only hope that those who violate basic courtesy will somehow have it all come back to haunt them.

But there's an old saying..."Listen to someone long enough and they'll tell you who they are." This can work against them I think. Maintaining a lie becomes an enormous burden as time passes. Very few people can manage it for long.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:21:00 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		LaM obviously doesn't listen to my instructions very well. I said be nice to the newbie ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:25:58 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Hey, that WAS nice.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:33:00 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Hey, that WAS nice.


Yeah, I guess so for you ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:52:22 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveshe4

As far as I can tell, this is very simply a place where anyone can ................
[ /quote ]

Having a place and trying to imagine a place very simply........ I am confoundedly imagining a place on this place where these place laws do not exist in different expectation than another place you might not think of......

Now, I have had wonderous things answered here......I know there exist in this place those far cleverer than I.....

Who said? "Lassize Faire" ? (thats my best spelling....lol)

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 6/16/2005 5:59:05 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:53:49 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissiveshe4
Is this type of thing allowed to continue once discovered or should I be sending up the flag to warn others?


As Lady Angelika said, just let it go. The internet is a big scary ocean with all kinds of predators. If someone can not recognize the predators or know how to deal with them, then they shouldn't be swimming in the ocean.

Welcome to Collarme. I see you are new to posting messages and so I want to mention that the more you post, the more friends you will make. Don't be shy... we really are nice people (most of the time)

(in reply to submissiveshe4)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 5:59:59 PM   
kezzo


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Are you truely suprised that you find people here that LIE !!
You suprise me
It is not only Dom's that Lie
You should check out some of the subbie/slaves
But that is life it happens everywhere
just have to sift through the shit ,,,, nothing has changed

Kezz

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 6:00:42 PM   
fourpeas


Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

But there's an old saying..."Listen to someone long enough and they'll tell you who they are." This can work against them I think. Maintaining a lie becomes an enormous burden as time passes. Very few people can manage it for long.

anthrosub[/color]
quote:



That's very, very, VERY true. VERY true.

Being honest is a whole hell of a lot easier than telling a lie all the time. Eventually you will discover the truth.

Keep searching, submissiveshe. And use the boards as support.

xo-4peas

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 7:11:48 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fourpeas


quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

But there's an old saying..."Listen to someone long enough and they'll tell you who they are." This can work against them I think. Maintaining a lie becomes an enormous burden as time passes. Very few people can manage it for long.

anthrosub[/color]
quote:



That's very, very, VERY true. VERY true.

Being honest is a whole hell of a lot easier than telling a lie all the time. Eventually you will discover the truth.

Keep searching, submissiveshe. And use the boards as support.

xo-4peas


Those of us who can lie expertly tell a lie as close to the truth as possible

so, it will unravel if you lie...........rather than post stupid shit like, no men, no men; or why cock photos.......thats easy sifting...block it and move on......


Unfortunately we all invest time and it is plainly Fucked.......do not consider your time so valuable.........

You gotta hang here until you are flush with the ground.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to fourpeas)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 7:45:59 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Who said? "Lassize Faire" ? (thats my best spelling....lol)


Close! It's Laisser Faire.

- LA aka La professeure de français ;)

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 8:09:32 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Who said? "Lassize Faire" ? (thats my best spelling....lol)


Close! It's Laisser Faire.

- LA aka La professeure de français ;)



Oh! Mon Dieu........i am enamoured

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Preditor's? - 6/16/2005 8:09:39 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's short for "laissez faire, laissez passer." It's often attributed to Francois Quesnay, but I think the origin has been disputed. It's definitely from the 18th century though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Who said? "Lassize Faire" ? (thats my best spelling....lol)


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 20
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