RE: Ads on this site. sigh....

RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (Full Version)

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SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/17/2005 6:33:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stormsfate quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 My profile rocks, feel free to use it as a template. If it rocks how come you are still available? Just curious. [;)] Besides, the first thing it comes out with is how smart you think you are (which you have said more than once in the forums as well). Immediate turn off for Me. Pride is not a virtue and it manifests itself in more than one way in your profile (and this comment I quoted. you hold yourself in very high regard). Actually, her profile does rock and she is intelligent...lol. I've often wondered why men feel quite free in stating facts about themselves, particularly the positives, but when women do it, its considered prideful and a turnoff. It seems to me that the problem lies with the receiver of the message...not the messenger. If you take it at face value, instead of looking for some underlying reason for the comment (as in she holds herself in high regard), then communication becomes easier. More women should be as self-confident as EmeraldSlave2 is. Maybe there wouldn't be so many of them running around with self-esteem issues. BTW...you must have missed the part where she is owned. [;)] best regards, fate *Edited for typo There is a distinct difference between self-confidence, self-esteem, etc and egotism. If Y/you are smart you generally do not have to say so. There is the odd occasion, admittedly, when it is appropriate, but those occasions are generally few and far between. Incidentally, I am not saying she is not smart. she certainly does appear to be intelligent when she posts, no question. However, when I read her profile I was immediately turned off. This is the first time I have read it. I am not the most demanding person in the world, so really it is not all that great after all if that is the effect it has. Perhaps that is why she is still available. With a picture like the one she posted she should be getting hundreds of replies almost daily. When you figure the law of averages into the equation, something is definitely awry. See, I am no fool Myself, but how often do I make any mention of it? My dad is brilliant, yet he is humble. He never ever claims intelligence or wisdom, yet it is immediately evident when he speaks. Therein lies the difference. Always remain humble. If you are indeed smart, people will figure it out on their own. Pride is not attractive, no matter what your physical appearance may be.

AAkasha -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/17/2005 6:42:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 My profile rocks, feel free to use it as a template. If it rocks how come you are still available? Just curious. [;)] Besides, the first thing it comes out with is how smart you think you are (which you have said more than once in the forums as well). Immediate turn off for Me. Pride is not a virtue and it manifests itself in more than one way in your profile (and this comment I quoted. you hold yourself in very high regard). I had to go look at the profile, and I am not sure what made you feel like this? Because she mentioned that she has a degree? Or what kind of people she associates with? You must be really insecure -- these are normal things for a profile, and what is great about hers is that it concisely gives a pretty vivid picture of her personality type and way of thinking. Not just the same old lingo in profiles using the same words. I was expecting, based on your response, to have her profile an entire bragging opportunity. I didn't get that at all. So, is it the college degree that puts you off? I'd be interested in what the education level of a person was, especially if they were proud of it. And, a degree in what tells a lot about a person. Was I reading the wrong profile? Akasha

kc692 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/17/2005 7:41:05 PM)
Did you look at all her pictures also? The girl has a sense of humor with the bunny ears, smiles. Way to go Emerald!!!! I personally like self assured people. I saw nothing but facts as far as achievements, not self-endorsement. I will be honest, this is the first time I have looked at her profile. I would have guessed from most of her writings that she was older than she is (No offense, Emerald, it's meant as a compliment). Personally, I think for her age she should be proud of her degree and everything else. I have not read yours yet either. SirKenin, I am looking forward to absorbing it when it passes profile approval ..... I need to look at the posters profiles more often, smiles!!!! **edited for typos

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 8:49:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 Did you look at all her pictures also? The girl has a sense of humor with the bunny ears, smiles. Way to go Emerald!!!! I personally like self assured people. I saw nothing but facts as far as achievements, not self-endorsement. I will be honest, this is the first time I have looked at her profile. I would have guessed from most of her writings that she was older than she is (No offense, Emerald, it's meant as a compliment). Personally, I think for her age she should be proud of her degree and everything else. I have not read yours yet either. SirKenin, I am looking forward to absorbing it when it passes profile approval ..... I need to look at the posters profiles more often, smiles!!!! **edited for typos I did not like My profile at all after I went back and read it yesterday. It was worded geared towards looking for somebody and that is the precise antithesis of My intentions. I have who I want and I am very happy. I decided to completely revise it to more accurately reflect who I am and what I do. Please do check it out when it is approved and give Me your honest and forthright critique. Now, about emerald. I thought she was much older than she was too. I was surprised when I read her profile yesterday to find out she was only in her twenties. See, she does not need to go on about how smart she is in the forums or toot her own horn. All she needs to do is let her actions speak for themselves. It was not in the precise wording of her profile per se. I have an ability to read between the lines. Her profile says a lot without coming right out and saying most of it. I read of someone who had an inflated sense of self. I love dating smart women. My sub is very intelligent and some really stimulating interactions result. I dated My fair share of bozos and I have no interest in dating another one. However, I have no interest in dating someone who has their nose stuck up in the air. That was the atmosphere surrounding that profile and that is what turned Me off right away. There is My humble critique, for what it is worth. Feel free to tear Mine apart as well when it is approved.

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 8:57:18 AM)
It looks like the profile has been approved. I still see a couple of things I would like to reword that were left over from the original profile, but I want to leave it until after Y/you folks have had Y/your chance to go over it and critique it to Y/your heart's content.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 9:07:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin Now, about emerald. I thought she was much older than she was too. I was surprised when I read her profile yesterday to find out she was only in her twenties. See, she does not need to go on about how smart she is in the forums or toot her own horn. All she needs to do is let her actions speak for themselves. No but I do, fairly often. This post was just one example- I DO rock. I don't always believe I rock, but I do. quote: It was not in the precise wording of her profile per se. I have an ability to read between the lines. Her profile says a lot without coming right out and saying most of it. I read of someone who had an inflated sense of self. Hmm I am much more open about saying I rock, and I am indeed more arrogant than most, but I'm AWARE of my arrogance, and I use it for humor value most of the time. Whether you consider my view of myself is inflated depends on your judgement of ME as a whole. quote: That was the atmosphere surrounding that profile and that is what turned Me off right away. There is My humble critique, for what it is worth. Feel free to tear Mine apart as well when it is approved. Eh, you didn't think it rocked. But it is "me" so that's ok. As far as the still available part, wow do you know how insulting that is to every person on this site who is single right now? How you think they can't have much to offer or can't be a great person if they are single? But you've obviously missed EVERY post that I've mentioned the Owner, my boyfriend or one of my other beaus. Much thanks to everyone else, glad you liked, I do have new pics that I need to get in there and I have no freaking IDEA what happened to my latest journal entry. So yes, I'm smart, I'm sweet, I'm loving, I'm a great top, a movie buff, an amazing fuck, a fashionista, a great debator....and slightly arrogant. But I do it all with a smile.

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 10:25:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin Now, about emerald. I thought she was much older than she was too. I was surprised when I read her profile yesterday to find out she was only in her twenties. See, she does not need to go on about how smart she is in the forums or toot her own horn. All she needs to do is let her actions speak for themselves. No but I do, fairly often. This post was just one example- I DO rock. I don't always believe I rock, but I do. quote: It was not in the precise wording of her profile per se. I have an ability to read between the lines. Her profile says a lot without coming right out and saying most of it. I read of someone who had an inflated sense of self. Hmm I am much more open about saying I rock, and I am indeed more arrogant than most, but I'm AWARE of my arrogance, and I use it for humor value most of the time. I guess I fail to see the humor in arrogance?? quote: Eh, you didn't think it rocked. But it is "me" so that's ok. No, I did not think it rocked because I do not find arrogance and pride to be a virtue. I look for humility. your profile really said "look how great I am" and I do not look for that. I like reading about interests and what makes a person tick. If I see a person that is full of themselves I get turned off and I do not desire any further contact or information from them. I doubt very much that I am alone in this POV. quote: As far as the still available part, wow do you know how insulting that is to every person on this site who is single right now? How you think they can't have much to offer or can't be a great person if they are single? It is not that they do not have something to offer, but there is a reason why they are still available. If you council all of them to write an egotistical profile like yours I doubt very much they will have decent, secure, mentally sound men chasing them down. I am quite convinced that I am not the only one that will be sent running in the other direction. When you put provocative photos like you have in your profile and still have not found your fill, there is something wrong. Plain and simple. It is a well known fact that you are going to get more than your fair share of men chasing you down on this site. If you say "but I have not found any I liked" then the answer is equally obvious to Me, but I would ask you a simple question. Why? What kind of men are you attracting with your profile? And already I know the answer. quote: But you've obviously missed EVERY post that I've mentioned the Owner, my boyfriend or one of my other beaus. Yes, I know. you are the objet de desire. [sm=rolleyes.gif] I have heard all that before. quote: So yes, I'm smart, I'm sweet, I'm loving, I'm a great top, a movie buff, an amazing fuck, a fashionista, a great debator....and slightly arrogant. But I do it all with a smile. you are also insecure. Anyways, the whole reason I am posting this is not to demean you. you are a very smart girl and you write some very good posts, but you evidently do not need Me to say this. I am saying this because I am a man and I see your profile from a completely different angle than you do. you might think it is about putting your best foot forward and impressing people with all the very smart people you hang around, etc, but I do not look at it that way. I look at it as a very insecure young woman looking for acceptance wherever she can get it, whether from her Master, her boyfriend, her many flavors of the week or from those who might be reading her profile or posts like this one where you tell U/us how great you are. you obviously do not have to place any stock in what I am saying to you, but there it is from someone who is on the other side of the sexual fence.

anthrosub -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 10:47:51 AM)
Yesterday I was thinking about the profiles here and a thread about "want versus need" and had a thought. People who have a genuine Dominant or submissive personality are probably equal in terms of numbers within the community. Think about it...someone who's Dominant has this as part of their identity and has a true "need" to express themselves accordingly. The same applies to those who are submissive. On the other hand, I bet the population of people who simply "want" this identity are much higher in number. The reasons are many. The "want" category includes, players, the curious, people who simply enjoy kinky sex, newbies just discovering themselves but not sure what it means yet, people seeking thrills outside their vanilla relationship, people who think this lifestyle can net them a partner easier than through vanilla channels, and those (not all) who practice this as a business. I'm sure there are other categories but I think this makes my point. People who have a heartfelt need to express/live their orientation (and that's what it's really all about for them) are probably the low minority. I think this would be more likely to come through in their profile, too because they take it seriously and are not here to play games at all. This would also explain why some people who've been in the lifestyle long before the Internet arrived have observed how the Internet is watering down the community. There's just too many people out there getting involved for reasons that come under the "want" categories to make it easy to find each other in short order. Oh, and for those reading this that like to split hairs, I'm sure this is not a "dead on" explanation but I do think there's something to it. anthrosub

stormsfate -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 10:52:10 AM)
Wow! Where did you get your degree in psychology, SirKenin? Its obvious you do not enjoy reading Emerald's posts and appear to be very intimidated by her, but I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack her personality in such a public manner. I hope she doesn't change to fit the specifications you've outlined. If she were to do so, she would be just like so many other cuttercutter type, average, boring, lacking in self-esteem women that already pervade the internet. She's unique...she's intelligent...and those who can get over themselves enough to see where she's coming from just might enjoy her the way she is. Really...she's a breath of fresh air, imo. You have stepped all over one of my pet peeves, but I'll leave it at saying not everyone agrees with your perspective. best regards, fate

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 11:40:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stormsfate Wow! Where did you get your degree in psychology, SirKenin? Its obvious you do not enjoy reading Emerald's posts and appear to be very intimidated by her, but I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack her personality in such a public manner. I hope she doesn't change to fit the specifications you've outlined. If she were to do so, she would be just like so many other cuttercutter type, average, boring, lacking in self-esteem women that already pervade the internet. She's unique...she's intelligent...and those who can get over themselves enough to see where she's coming from just might enjoy her the way she is. Really...she's a breath of fresh air, imo. You have stepped all over one of my pet peeves, but I'll leave it at saying not everyone agrees with your perspective. best regards, fate T/they do not have to agree with Me. Nobody does. If not one person comes up to Me and says "You know, SirKenin, You are right" it will not hurt My feelings in the slightest. I do not need anyone to boost My ego or artificially inflate My self-esteem, which is precisely the reason people brag about how great they are, what they have accomplished, how smart they are, etc. They do that to reassure themselves and hear from others how right they are. That is a textbook case of pride and insecurity. I do enjoy reading much of what Emerald writes until she starts going on about how smart she is or how many men she has pandering all over her. That little bit about how everyone in the room notices the men she has hanging off her made Me ill too. Then My stomach starts to turn and I move on to the next post. See, one can project self-esteem and self-confidence quite easily without being proud and boastful. These two sets of qualities are unique, the first two desirable, the last two not. Being humble does not equate to having no self-esteem whatsoever. Nor does it have to equate to being boring either. It does, however, contribute to making you desirable. I can honestly say if I was dating a woman like that I would show them to the door. Not because they were smart. I do not feel threatened by smart, rather stimulated. Rather because they were proud, boastful, insecure and egotistical. All of these are characteristics I find to be a complete turnoff and not characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. Anyways, enough of that. Hopefully that will give people considering a profile change things to consider when creating a new one.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 4:16:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin I guess I fail to see the humor in arrogance?? It's hard to hear inflection online. For example, one of my beaus went to a birthday party today and specifically didn't invite me because he wanted to go solo. When he told me I jokingly said "But you're supposed to take me out like a queen every other Saturday night, remember?" It was very funny. quote: your profile really said "look how great I am" and I do not look for that. I like reading about interests and what makes a person tick. Well uhhh I had those too. You really seem to focus only on key parts of what you don't like and ignore the rest. quote: If I see a person that is full of themselves I get turned off and I do not desire any further contact or information from them. I doubt very much that I am alone in this POV. No, you'd be hard pressed to find any POV you're alone in, as would we all. Not everyone can love me like they should. See? That was a joke, based on my arrogance. quote: If you council all of them to write an egotistical profile like yours I doubt very much they will have decent, secure, mentally sound men chasing them down. I am quite convinced that I am not the only one that will be sent running in the other direction. Hmm well I doubt any of my relationships would be considered indecent, insecure, and unsound (ok indecent maybe, but that's a good thing). You have your doubts...I can only give you my word that I'm highly persued, and by very stable desireable people. There really isn't a way to say that WITHOUT sounding arrogant, but it's the truth. quote: When you put provocative photos like you have in your profile and still have not found your fill, there is something wrong. Hmm where in the profile does it say I have not found my fill? It says "available" not "seeking." The Owner wants me to find more female friends and lovers so I can become more experienced in actual relationships with them instead of just sex and play, and I'm available to meet friends and see what happens. quote: If you say "but I have not found any I liked" then the answer is equally obvious to Me, but I would ask you a simple question. Why? What kind of men are you attracting with your profile? And already I know the answer. Yes you do, because I describe them IN my profile. I met the boyfriend originally through collarme and well, I COULD go on about how he's heading to Austin this fall for graduate school in physics, graduated summa cum laude, from the honors college, inducted into Phi Beta Kappa and Phi Kappa Phi, and was also in the Golden Key Honors Society, but that's just the academic side of his life, he's also been avidly researching both Wicca and Zen Buddhism over the past few months in trying to figure out his spiritual leanings and perspectives. So the answer is, that's the typical man I attract and get to know from my collarme profile. quote: Yes, I know. you are the objet de desire. I work hard at it...slut courtesan and all that jazz. quote: you are also insecure. In some ways, absolutely, but it's nothing to do with knowing how to form multiple relationships with people at the same time. quote: I look at it as a very insecure young woman looking for acceptance wherever she can get it, whether from her Master, her boyfriend, her many flavors of the week or from those who might be reading her profile or posts like this one where you tell U/us how great you are. Hmmm well I HAVE acceptance from all of those people. The hard part is having acceptance in myself. I will let them know, however, that I am only in relationships with them to feed my egoism in order to escape a dark sense of emptiness.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 4:19:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin That little bit about how everyone in the room notices the men she has hanging off her made Me ill too. Then My stomach starts to turn and I move on to the next post. See you really DO only focus on the things you want to see. I listed at least THREE things that people notice about me...why is THAT the one you focus on? And the fact is that one female walking into a room with 3 or 4 hot males attending to her is something that tends to attract attention. As the mother says "It ain't braggin if it's true." quote: All of these are characteristics I find to be a complete turnoff and not characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. Another good reason not to be a christian.

kc692 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 6:24:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 Did you look at all her pictures also? The girl has a sense of humor with the bunny ears, smiles. Way to go Emerald!!!! I personally like self assured people. I saw nothing but facts as far as achievements, not self-endorsement. I will be honest, this is the first time I have looked at her profile. I would have guessed from most of her writings that she was older than she is (No offense, Emerald, it's meant as a compliment). Personally, I think for her age she should be proud of her degree and everything else. I have not read yours yet either. SirKenin, I am looking forward to absorbing it when it passes profile approval ..... I need to look at the posters profiles more often, smiles!!!! **edited for typos I did not like My profile at all after I went back and read it yesterday. It was worded geared towards looking for somebody and that is the precise antithesis of My intentions. I have who I want and I am very happy. I decided to completely revise it to more accurately reflect who I am and what I do. Please do check it out when it is approved and give Me your honest and forthright critique. Now, about emerald. I thought she was much older than she was too. I was surprised when I read her profile yesterday to find out she was only in her twenties. See, she does not need to go on about how smart she is in the forums or toot her own horn. All she needs to do is let her actions speak for themselves. It was not in the precise wording of her profile per se. I have an ability to read between the lines. Her profile says a lot without coming right out and saying most of it. I read of someone who had an inflated sense of self. I love dating smart women. My sub is very intelligent and some really stimulating interactions result. I dated My fair share of bozos and I have no interest in dating another one. However, I have no interest in dating someone who has their nose stuck up in the air. That was the atmosphere surrounding that profile and that is what turned Me off right away. There is My humble critique, for what it is worth. Feel free to tear Mine apart as well when it is approved. Why would I tear yours apart? You asked me for an honest and forthright critique, and I would do no less. Is the one up now the one that has been approved? As far as Emerald, again, I respectfully disagree with you. I still don't see her as tooting her own horn or saying how smart she is on the forums. The fact is, everything on her profile concerning diplomas and such is fact,,, and are we not all trying to let people know what we think constitutes "us" on our profiles? I do think, however, that at that her age some of her achievements are different from what we are used to seeing in people her age, and that in itself makes her stand out. Nevertheless, it is fact. Also, I must say, speaking from experience (I'm sure you have run across this yourself, smiles) sometimes people that are self assured,confident, and definitely have opinions, sometimes seem to others as "acting smart", or seem abrasive to others, even "stuck up", because they don't cave when confronted. I see the good qualities I just mentioned in Emerald, not the stuck up part at all. I personally prefer concise and sometimes blunt, but others sometimes interpret that incorrectly, as it rubs against their grain. Again, let me know if the current profile is correct, and I will be happy to give my thoughts. Thank you for asking me.

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 7:46:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 As the mother says "It ain't braggin if it's true." your mother needs to learn a thing or two about virtue IMHO. quote: All of these are characteristics I find to be a complete turnoff and not characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. quote: Another good reason not to be a christian. I do not think you understood My point. The point is that Proverbs 31 outlines the qualities of a virtuous and desirable woman, regardless of doctrine.

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 7:49:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 Again, let me know if the current profile is correct, and I will be happy to give my thoughts. Thank you for asking me. Yes, the current profile is the correct one. It needs a couple of modifications, but I will wait until you (and A/anyone else that wants to do so) critique it.

LdyAuburn -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 10:14:44 PM)
My profile is quite bland and boring. That doesnt actually bother me because I am not really searching for anything on here. I have a profile as I quite enjoy forums For the record I may not always agree with Emerald2, I find her postings interesting which is probable the most appropriate for a forum. SK I do actually find yours a little difficult to read due to the A/a, Y/y Me bit. Regards

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/18/2005 11:04:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin your mother needs to learn a thing or two about virtue IMHO. Well your HO is wrong. quote: I do not think you understood My point. The point is that Proverbs 31 outlines the qualities of a virtuous and desirable woman, regardless of doctrine. Well I disagree with those qualities as the definition of all virtuous and desireable women.

ElektraUkM -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/19/2005 7:35:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin No, I did not think it rocked because I do not find arrogance and pride to be a virtue. I look for humility. Hello, sorry to snip so much, but I just wanted to say... Isn't the profile you're discussing doing JUST exactly what it should do, then? It shows you that the person isn't the type you're looking for... so you move on. Where's the problem? ~ Elektra

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/19/2005 8:07:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM Isn't the profile you're discussing doing JUST exactly what it should do, then? It shows you that the person isn't the type you're looking for... so you move on. Where's the problem? ~ Elektra His point is that it turned HIM off, and he's a stable dependable great guy. Thus, my profile is likely to turn off the stable dependable guys and attract the unstable dorks instead. Thus no one should follow my template of a profile because it will attract the bad yucky guys and not the good guys like him. And a bit in there about how being an active slut means I'm insecure too and that my over-arrogance is an obvious shield to the deep feelings of insecurity inside.

SirKenin -> RE: Ads on this site. sigh.... (6/19/2005 6:39:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM Isn't the profile you're discussing doing JUST exactly what it should do, then? It shows you that the person isn't the type you're looking for... so you move on. Where's the problem? ~ Elektra His point is that it turned HIM off, and he's a stable dependable great guy. Thus, my profile is likely to turn off the stable dependable guys and attract the unstable dorks instead. Thus no one should follow my template of a profile because it will attract the bad yucky guys and not the good guys like him. And a bit in there about how being an active slut means I'm insecure too and that my over-arrogance is an obvious shield to the deep feelings of insecurity inside. Actually, My point is that it turned Me off and is thus likely to unnecessarily turn others off too. I would think as a woman that is seeking that it would be contrary to your objectives to needlessly slam doors shut before they ever really opened. There is much room for improvement and is not the awesome profile that you think it is evidently. In other words, there is a way to get your point across without coming across the way you do. you have the brains. you can figure it out.

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