Serial bachelors (Full Version)

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fairerthanshe -> Serial bachelors (7/6/2007 3:14:00 PM)

Greetings all,

When you have searched for a Master in the past, do you find you keep winding up with the same kind of guy?  I seem to have a thing for serial bachelors - guys who have never settled down for long periods of time, never had long term relationships, never been married or only married once briefly.

I talked to a close friend about a relationship that recently ended.  I served this guy in his home on a daily basis, we were like best friends/great companions for one another, the entire dynamic was one of Master/slave.  But when it came to an actual collaring, he would fall back on that he wasn't in love.  However, at the first sign of me pulling away, he wanted my attention and service.  There was this constant struggle between wanting to be with him and wanting to get away from the relationship so that I might be open to something that had the chance to become permanent. 

I finally made the right decision and have ended it, but it took a long time and way too much heartache to get there.  Has anyone else ever had something similar happen?

well wishes,

fairer than she



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/6/2007 3:17:02 PM)

Yeah I've got my "types" and not all of them are positive.  My partner can tell when I'm going to dig into a guy sometimes even before I've figured it out!

The good news is that I've learned my types and learned to take it slow and let things play out over time.  It helps that I have a fabulous partner to go to bed with every night so I have someone there to keep me grounded.  There's no rush and time tells all you need to know about a persons character- both good and bad. 



fairerthanshe -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/6/2007 3:33:13 PM)

Thanks LA,

Trying to focus on spending time with friends.  There are so many wonderful people I have met and really enjoy spending time with and that is a great help through this experience.





kossack -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/7/2007 4:27:30 AM)

Serial bachelors are also just more available at our age!  Like you, I just got out of a realtionship with a guy who had every relationship go bad at 9 months, and, like clockwork, at 9 months....
I don't really know how we weed these guys out--mine also had a 15 year marriage under his belt.  It wasn't till we'd started to get rocky that he mentioned his relationship with his wife was already rocky at that point.  And it really isn't possible for me to wait years before letting my heart out.  I spose there were warning signs I ignored, but aren't there always?  Nothing in this world is perfect, and my dom was actually talking about marriage (not proposing, just implying it would happen down the road) at 3 months. 



MissIsis -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/7/2007 4:46:12 AM)

Of course, don't we all have the types we go after.  We can change it & often do, but we need to recognize our patterns first & be open to someone who is different than what we usually think we want. 

And isn't it funny, they all seem to know when we are pulling away from them.  They can sense it, & try to pull us closer.  And how often have we all fallen for that. LOL.  Human nature & our behaviour, if we can look at them objectively, can really be quite amusing sometimes. 



MistressDolly -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/7/2007 2:05:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings all,

When you have searched for a Master in the past, do you find you keep winding up with the same kind of guy?  I seem to have a thing for serial bachelors - guys who have never settled down for long periods of time, never had long term relationships, never been married or only married once briefly.

I talked to a close friend about a relationship that recently ended.  I served this guy in his home on a daily basis, we were like best friends/great companions for one another, the entire dynamic was one of Master/slave.  But when it came to an actual collaring, he would fall back on that he wasn't in love.  However, at the first sign of me pulling away, he wanted my attention and service.  There was this constant struggle between wanting to be with him and wanting to get away from the relationship so that I might be open to something that had the chance to become permanent. 

I finally made the right decision and have ended it, but it took a long time and way too much heartache to get there.  Has anyone else ever had something similar happen?

well wishes,

fairer than she



Sometimes when a person repeatedly enters abortive relationships with the same type of people, it is because they are trying to work on unresolved issues from their past. Usually, the people they keep dating somehow resemble a person of their past.



mnottertail -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/7/2007 5:48:54 PM)

Or, they are just fuckin' dumb with no ulterior or unresolved psychological and fairy dust kinda swirly motive that is not what it appears to be, in  a psycho sense.



LadyIce -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/7/2007 6:20:47 PM)

I run from certain types of men.
I have indeed learned.
I even avoid men in certain professions and men that have never had a long term relationship, etc.
When you get burnt enough, you will learn which flames to avoid.



fairerthanshe -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 10:56:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Or, they are just fuckin' dumb with no ulterior or unresolved psychological and fairy dust kinda swirly motive that is not what it appears to be, in  a psycho sense.



Greetings Master Ron,

While I do not consider myself dumb ( as you well know [;)]), I do find it interesting to finally be aware of a pattern of behavior.  It also makes me wonder about those I have not allowed to get close - those with whom a possibility of a long term, fully invested relationship on both sides seemed plausible.  Perhaps with this new found knowledge, I can make wise choices where once I did not.  I do believe this exploration is a growing process and simply wondered what other subs/slaves had experienced in this realm.

well wishes ~ fairer



VeryMercurial -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 2:26:32 PM)

I agree with Mistress Dolly.
I avoid serial bachelors and those that have not been able
to form lasting relationships.



DrkJourney -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 2:40:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings all,

When you have searched for a Master in the past, do you find you keep winding up with the same kind of guy?  I seem to have a thing for serial bachelors - guys who have never settled down for long periods of time, never had long term relationships, never been married or only married once briefly.

I talked to a close friend about a relationship that recently ended.  I served this guy in his home on a daily basis, we were like best friends/great companions for one another, the entire dynamic was one of Master/slave.  But when it came to an actual collaring, he would fall back on that he wasn't in love.  However, at the first sign of me pulling away, he wanted my attention and service.  There was this constant struggle between wanting to be with him and wanting to get away from the relationship so that I might be open to something that had the chance to become permanent. 

I finally made the right decision and have ended it, but it took a long time and way too much heartache to get there.  Has anyone else ever had something similar happen?

well wishes,

fairer than she



yep, I was stupid, had a slave that jerked me around for four years (yeah I know)  His excuse was that he had a bad marriage..yadda yadda yadda

we really connected, we had a lot in common, and he wasn't one of the knuckle draggers that only wanted to talk D's 24/7...he was totally in tune with my feelings.  We would be together, and as soon as we get to a certain level of closeness he would disappear, wouldn't answer emails, phones, etc.

Then when about a month or two after I stopped trying to contact him and move on, he's pop up again full of apologies.  I know I was stupid, but I'd never met someone I was so in tune with, so I worked hard....finally after a trip to Dallas, and after we returned to our respective homes and he pulled the crap again....I changed my yahoo niks, and moved on.  He didn't want to get help and obviously relished in his misery, so I left him to it.   We have mutual friends that claim he asks about me....good Lord



VeryMercurial -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 4:17:14 PM)

You learned from your experience, some never learn.



mnottertail -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 4:18:58 PM)

Ja.



angelic -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 4:26:08 PM)

Yep... only with me add to the serial bachelor a 'bad boy' demeanor and i am toast!  Take for instance a really hot guy i ran into while running errands today... He had asshole written all over and i found myself thinking... HOT DAMN i wonder if he's a Master?  [&:]  Luckily i see that in myself and know that i should not only walk the other direction, but run as fast and as far as my legs will carry me.



GoodgirlFind -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 5:05:53 PM)

My story is that I did luckily learn from mistkes of my past. [:D]I always went for men who were miserable, hating anyone who was happy simply because it made them more miserable to see other people happy. These men could never keep a woman because they were just plain nasty and miserable. Finally I got a clue and now I to run in the opposite direction when I see a man who cant keep a happy relationship ever.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 5:09:17 PM)

I'm confused...do you mean guys like Seinfeld who still eat Fruit Loops and Frosted Flakes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

I seem to have a thing for serial bachelors



fairerthanshe -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 8:23:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I'm confused...do you mean guys like Seinfeld who still eat Fruit Loops and Frosted Flakes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

I seem to have a thing for serial bachelors



Yep, LaM...that's exactly what I meant...I want a Man who insists on having 2 scrambled eggs, hash browns and sausage for breakfast...lol

Sometimes you are just too damn cute! smooches ~ fairer



Lordandmaster -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 8:42:58 PM)

Personally I prefer blowjobs for breakfast, but I wouldn't say no to eggs and sausage afterwards.



DrkJourney -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 9:15:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Personally I prefer blowjobs for breakfast, but I wouldn't say no to eggs and sausage afterwards.


blowjobs for breakfast?  Is that anything like toys for tots?.....lol



fairerthanshe -> RE: Serial bachelors (7/8/2007 9:41:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Personally I prefer blowjobs for breakfast, but I wouldn't say no to eggs and sausage afterwards.


blowjobs for breakfast?  Is that anything like toys for tots?.....lol


That is beautifully sick and twisted! LMAO





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