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chasing - 7/7/2007 10:07:20 AM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

I identify as a top. Yet I have had people tell me, that my wanting to be chased is not a dominant trait.I Now mind you, I don't agree with this in any way, but I am curious as to know what you all think of this. Being chased makes me think that I am wanted, even if it is only for sex.

read this in a book one time:

Yeah he chased her! Chased her til she caught him!

**snickers** I like that

< Message edited by Trampler -- 7/7/2007 11:03:23 AM >

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Post #: 1

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 10:10:12 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

I agree - I do like to be courted and seduced.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 2

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 10:11:47 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

A desire to be courted is a trait some people have. It is neither a "dominant" nor "submissive" trait. Just because one likes to be courted does not mean they are unwilling or incapable of pursuing if they so desire, either.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 3

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 12:47:56 PM

queencaliph

Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline

Who doesn't like to be chased? Its kind of like "luring your prey." Just when he thinks he's got you... BAM! you've got him!

and I think it is a dominant trait; after all its making someone work to get you.

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"awwww hell......the Queen!"

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 4

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 12:53:16 PM

Dane

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/12/2007
Status: offline

I've got to be the one doing the seducing. But it doesn't work if your subject isn't trying just as hard to get seduced.

(in reply to queencaliph)

Post #: 5

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 1:03:37 PM

MsRose

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline

I like a bit of both. I like to be seduced. I like to hunt. Does that make me a switch?

< Message edited by MsRose -- 7/7/2007 1:04:55 PM >

_____________________________

"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

(in reply to Dane)

Post #: 6

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 1:14:41 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

I guess part of my frustration is, is waiting for that call. He is interested, he knows I am interested in him.................so call already damnit!! I feel that if I call him, I am starting the chase, and that just annoys the hell outta me!

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to MsRose)

Post #: 7

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 1:22:31 PM

PairOfDimes

Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

I think wanting to be chased or courted is a passive trait. The fact that I can most comfortably express the activities in passive voice is a tip-off. :) But passive doesn't equal submissive--being served, for example, is a passive activity, and one often associated with dominance.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 8

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 6:25:44 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

For me, willingness to do a bit of chasing is the way I sort out who is serious from those who are not. If they aren't prepared to make some sort of effort, then it's bye bye, because that will be the tenor of the rest of the relationship

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to PairOfDimes)

Post #: 9

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 6:37:28 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I like to hunt my prey and seduce them. Sometimes I like to pretend to be the prey and when they step into my trap BAM, we gonna get freaky

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to LadyHeart)

Post #: 10

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 7:22:52 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Trampler, Ladies and Gentlemen;

My preferences are for slaves to seek me out. I am one who likes to observe people for a while and avoid those who pounce me and demand me to accept their submission. Pushy types have been seen as a 'do me' in my mind's eyes.

If I did want to chase, I would ask that they walk very, very slow -- so I can catch up to them in a few years. I do not want anybody I have to chase. That is best left for loose critters escaping the field, house and or place.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 11

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 10:37:35 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Hmmm

I am predatory and I admit it.

However, the old fashioned girl in me knows that chasing boys never works. They need to feel they did all the chasing and worked hard to catch a worthy prize. Most don't appreciate women they catch too easily.

Courtship game playing - its a pain in the bum, isn't it?

There is a solution

Take control of all communication as fast as possible. My rules are that I always ring first and the sub has to wait for my call (unless he has to tell me something urgently). I can ring as often or as little as I like. If he sees me online, he cannot message me before I message him. If I do ring, he absolutely has to answer the phone, wherever and whatever he is doing. He needs to warn me in advance if there's going to be a reason the mobile phone is not answered (eg on an aeroplane, in surgery, job that bans personal calls)

I really hate leaving messages for submissives to ring me back and I hate not knowing where they are (and why they cannot answer the phone) even more.

Total contol freak? Yeah, probably, but I never suffer the misery of waiting for calls or wondering why he hasn't called or whose turn it is to call. Take back control of the whole situation and the power to decide who calls who and when.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 7/7/2007 10:39:44 PM >

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(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 12

RE: chasing - 7/7/2007 11:55:06 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

I once saw a bumper sticker that said: "Just wink, I'll do the rest."

Many of the dommes on CM, and other sites, warn about the number of emails and contacts they receive, almost to the point of discouraging attempts to make contact. It may be that subs feel that, in order to be believed to be truly submissive, they can't be too aggressive in the "chase."

Regards,
ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 13

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 12:04:09 AM

sweetgagirl

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

HeLLo To All

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 14

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 12:08:38 AM

sweetgagirl

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

Sorry about that, oops. I thought I was logged off when I did that... was just playing around to see how this works... don't mean to interrupt the board. : )

(in reply to sweetgagirl)

Post #: 15

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 2:10:12 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

I once saw a bumper sticker that said: "Just wink, I'll do the rest."

Many of the dommes on CM, and other sites, warn about the number of emails and contacts they receive, almost to the point of discouraging attempts to make contact. It may be that subs feel that, in order to be believed to be truly submissive, they can't be too aggressive in the "chase."

Regards,
ATP

I think the key thing we warn about is not so much the number of emails we receive but rather the number of emails that are undecipherable, one liners and lack basic comprehension of grammar and spelling. Personally, anyone that writes me more than a one line "U R Hawt" note that contains some semblance of intellect is going to get a reply. Even if it's something as simple as "Thanks but no Thanks. Not looking."

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 16

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 2:16:23 AM

Mistressor

Posts: 30
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

I must admit messages like "hi mistress" and "I dunno what to say" don't tickle MY pickle.
Make an effort or don't bother. I have no time or desire to chase anyone.

However, I DO like those who beg

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 17

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 2:40:05 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Trampler
I guess part of my frustration is, is waiting for that call. He is interested, he knows I am interested in him.................so call already damnit!! I feel that if I call him, I am starting the chase, and that just annoys the hell outta me!

Why?

I was raised within this "girls don't call boys" societal bullshit and I've never understood it. Then again I've never sat around waiting for a phone to ring. I have no problem calling someone if I wish to speak to them. If they're unavailable I leave a message stating the best time frame to return my call. If they answer and can't talk at that moment then I set up a time that is mutually agreeable.

Personally, I don't believe in playing games. If I'm interested in someone...they know it because they receive My time and attention. I think that tends to work both ways. I don't see it as chasing someone. That just isn't something I've ever felt I had to do. I'm not the type that "plays" hard to get. It takes a great deal for someone to even interest me; so why would I play games with someone that I actually found interesting?

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 18

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 3:01:46 AM

MyMasterStephen

Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

I hate the relentless grind of having to go out and look for submissives, sending messages to people who might not be genuine, and if they are genuine then running the risk of my carefully-composed and crafted letter being lost in the crowd of drivel from the fake Doms.

I love it when a submissive makes the first move. She finds me and approaches me. This shows an interest, a motivation, that is essential. I know that female submissives are inundated with messages, and it is very easy to just sit back and sift through them and not bother going out and looking for yourself, but this also strikes me as being the lazy option.

And the idea that it is "improper" for a submissive to approach a Dom... Where the f**k did that come from? If you want something, then go for it.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 19

RE: chasing - 7/8/2007 4:22:53 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I've always wondered why it was considered a submissive trait to want to feel desired (which is how being courted/'chased' makes most people feel) ...

As a side-note, Trampler - by any chance was that a Mercedes Lackey book that you got that quote from?

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)

Post #: 20

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