RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (Full Version)

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Histigress -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/8/2007 10:43:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

MzMia,

My willingness to take someone on, yes, I can see commendable in that. But here's the thing, that I don't think is so over the top. She's not crippled in the sense of physically, other than the blackouts, that come on occasionally without her meds...

She has both arms, all of her fingers on both hands, two thumbs, two healthy eyes, a full head of hair, a beautiful smile, a perfectly (in my opinion, as well as many others) formed nose, both legs, a nice ass, a wicked imagination etc.... I mean, I could go on, but I don't think it's necessary...

My point is there is by far more right with her than there wrong with her, or challenging... Her issues are handled by medication, and she's with it enough to take them on time (or mostly... When I get up there, that's going to be the impetus for lots of sadistic fun [:D] ), so she doesn't have the issues... I mean, other than having to take meds, noone knows she has a disability so I'd hardly consider it one.

Even as I was considering her for collar, I knew of her disabilities, financial situation and her children. Along with her past history in relationships and the abuses she's suffered over the years...

Over all, she's very well balanced and a brightness in my day... Every day... Something (in the sense she's my slave) and someone (in the sense, obviously, that she's a person, and a wonderful one at that) I find worth fighting for, and over.

She's also very energetic and capable of service... So I don't really consider her disability (no matter it keeps her from being able to hold a just over broke) a disability. Just a quirk... Kinda... Heheh. [:D]

But thank you highly regardless for the praises and it's possible, yes, quite a few probably do need to read that, perhaps. If for no other reason than to realize that we find what we find to fulfill us in the most unlikely places sometimes and we shouldn't be negatively judgemental due to someone elses challenges or worries. Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual or in any fashion.

Peace.

TNT



*blushes softly, as she reads the posts from her Master*

thank You so much Master....
i cannot express through words of how much You have meant to me... just for even considering taking over my dysfunctional, messed up, hellish life...
You have been the most awesome Master, Teacher, Trainer, mentor/friend to my kids...
all around just plain... a miracle...
thank You for showing me that, You are the One that i have spent all my life looking for, with the only regret being....
that i didn't find You sooner in life....
but i look forward to being absof***inglutely happy for the rest of my life.... as long as every second of it i am bound to You...
especially every [sm=crop.gif]
*grins, bites her lip*
heheheh

Yours ... in mind, heart, body, and soul .. forever



TigerNINTails -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/8/2007 10:46:01 PM)

LadyHugs,

Thanks for the info on the civil rights org, and the direction with the ANA...

The first two links seem to want to load and load and never do... So I'm not sure what's wrong with them... In fact, they're still trying to load, and have been for over 5 minutes now... Perhaps I should stop them. [8D]

The last two links though, came up beautifully, thanks.

When it comes down to it though, we've tried to establish contact with someone in the legal field to handle her SS case, and had one helluva time trying to find a lawyer that would take the case, or even that was equipped to take the case (they seem to be hesitant to handle the government), and hand Social Security a crowbar, to pull their heads out... Pro-bono or not, it seems as if such lawyers don't exist... Unfortunately. But we haven't let the idea slip yet, so maybe, at some point, we'll find one that can do what's necessary.

As for modular homes, the developments have gotten much grander in the last 40 years... I heard a couple years ago, of a guy that bought a parcel of land, had a foundation laid and then built, with pre-fab units, an two or three story 10 bedroom chateau... Of sorts... So you can build a rather large structure, and rather quickly, for less than $80,000. At least it was that inexpensive 3 or so years ago...

MzMia... Thanks[:D] It seems there are others here though, that have spoke up, and said about the same thing I did, without turning it into a 2500 word essay. LOL... So there's that. Anyway, thanks... I hope it helps someone, somehow.

Peace.

TNT



TigerNINTails -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/8/2007 10:53:35 PM)


quote:

Original: Histigress

especially every [sm=crop.gif]
*grins, bites her lip*
heheheh



ROFL!![:D]
You're welcome my petto... Watashi wa dorei...

Just speakin the truth... From the heart, as always.[;)]



MissOchistic -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/8/2007 10:55:15 PM)

Poor? As long as they didn't expect me to support them and their kids 100%, why not? I'd accept that I'd pay for outings, and when I couldn't/wouldn't put out money for that, I'd be plenty happy to buy them a DVD player and spend time her and the kids watching movies. As far as the BDSM dynamic, I don't see how that would be affected, since I wouldn't want tributes or anything like that. And if it was just a meet-for-play thing, I see no issues at all.

Physically handicapped? It depends on what I needed and what I was willing to compromise on, and what they needed and whether or not I could give it.

Mental problems...it depends on how well they would mesh with my own [:D]



LadyHugs -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 12:20:51 AM)

Dear TigerNINTails and Histigress;
 
May I have you consider entering the following as to perhaps by pass the reload-load issue (I do get that at times also).
 
Perhaps typing:
Civil Rights Headquarters --Office of Civil Rights --Americans with Disabilities
It is under FHWA  -- It should trigger from FHWA  or Civil Rights HQ -- and or perhaps manual typing www.FHWA.dot.gov/civilrights/hqdr
 
HHS - Is the other key word on search - Fact sheet on Civil Rights of Americans with Disabilities Act ; is what the search should lead you to.  It sites law and language.
 
I do understand the frustration in finding attorneys.
 
May I have you consider:
Disability Law Center
Web site is : www.disabilitylawcenter.com
(I do not know if it is case sensitive.  It may require using caps in the appropriate places.)
 
In addition, may I cause further consideration as to have a peek at the following web links for Social Security Attorneys in California:
www.disabilitysecrets.com/

www.disabilitysecrets.com/assistance.html
(Reference to appeals as well as applications)

http://law.freeadvice.com/government_law/social_security_law/
Putting law into easy terms..

www.socialsecuritylawattorney.com/
Los Angeles, California --perhaps they can advise on a closer attorney/firm to where either of you are.

If you are not aware, the law allows in all levels of the courts; the rights of all citizens to act as their own attorney.  The term is Pro. se.  Being on a fixed or low income, the courts will waive all costs if you file an "Informa Pauperus'' -- which is an document that you are impoverished.
 
Your case being with the complaint to the US Governtment, the Social Security Administration --these cases are usually held in US District Court.  The paperwork is always filed with The Clerk of the Court.  I also recommend having a copy time and date stamped as to prove that you have filed.  In most cases, an original and two copies are required at filing.  [Total of 4 copies - 1 original and 2 copies for the court - one to keep as your copy with date & time stamp]
 
In cases where you want to know why they have not approved cases and they won't tell you--a Freedom of Information Act request or (FOIA) can be filed and submitted to that Social Security Office you are dealing with, and they should disclose things to the person--especially when it involves that person.
 
In medical cases, I have found that having a medical doctor, expert in their field and recognized by the courts have often speeded up the process.  Two additional is a plus.
 
Although this has worked within the court system in Washington, DC--the judicial system and the criteria of law may be different in California but, being Federal/US Govt. I hope it is basicly the same.
 
May I also have you consider getting in touch with Jay Wiseman, Esq.  He is one in the same as the BDSM author. He is from California.  If necessary, do contact me off forums and give me information as to which I can write a letter of introduction.


Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



TigerNINTails -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 1:40:26 AM)

I know Jay... Have met him rather, had short dissertations on various subjects, oddly some that had nothing to do with BDSM...

Also familiar with him on tribe. Thanks for the links...

I don't know that Jay would be much help, unless I plunked a few grand under his nose. Even then, he might be too busy living his life to want to worry much about it.

Thanks again.

Peace.

TNT

Edited to add: This also would be a Washington state case, not California.



LadyHugs -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 3:13:31 AM)

Dear TigerNINTails and Histigress,
 
May these links then be of any assistance?:
 
www.disabilitysecrets.com/washington.html
http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/washington.html

and: www.disabilitysecrets.com/locate_attorney_washington.html

and: 
lib.law.washington.edu/ref/legalinfo.html
http://lib.law.washington.edu/ref/legalinfo.html

(Washington State Access to Justice Board)

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs






ripples -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 5:10:16 AM)

Fascinating how many people seem to think a disabled person must be completely dependant...

The only deal breaker for me would be a person's intelligence. Or rather, the lack of it. Poor/physically disabled/mentally challenged - none of these things are necessarily an indication of who the person is within.

Edit: this wasn't in reply to LadyHugs (sorry, LH). I hit the wrong button [sm=rolleyes.gif]



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 5:45:41 AM)

~fast reply~

Daddy knows my financial situation (including my fight for decent support my UMs) better than i do myself however that never stopped Him from choosing me as His daughter-submissive.  though i'm not the one with the disability, my oldest UM is TBI with seizures/severe migraines and Daddy has been a great advisor with His medical knowledge about her medications to asking her neurologists/other specialists about her conditions to info about alternative medical treatments. it's not easy carrying brunt of the load (especially when the ex doesn't want to help) alone however i do appreciate how much Daddy's presence in my life has helped.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 9:47:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Time for my 2 a.m. question.
Masters? Come out and play.
 
Would you Masters take a submissive that was very poor and/or
physically handicapped or with known mental illness?

Why or why not?

I mean poor with no end in sight poor.
Maybe living in a trailer with 4 children and eating beans every night type of poor.
Physically handicapped as in disabled in a wheelchair, paralyzed in the right arm, or
partially blind. 
What about known mental illness?  Something being controlled with medication, but
well, the woman still has glaring "issues".
 
This woman despite her limitations is very sweet and would make a wonderful submissive.
Would you overlook her infirmities and bring her into your life?


I had a friend in college who had submissive tendancies and was a wheelchair user, if I'd have had -any- real idea about BDSM when I was a crummy teen, I'd have collard her in a heart beat-she was great;beautiful, very intelligent, funny and really feisty.

As far as not having much money. Who -has- got a lot of money? only a fairly small number of lucky people so that wouldn't put Me off.

Mental illness, as a poster has already said, can be controlled, so again, no real problem there.

I think the real question is how far out of your comfort zone can you go when looking for a sub?.



earthycouple -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 6:55:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all

Poor is a relative issue, what you are talking about is abject poverty. I am not a dominant, but as a submissive, I wouldn't move into that situation, so I couldn't imagine many taking in someone in that position.  Mistress isn't rich, neither am I, but our bills and our needs we both take care of quite well, and that was my only financial prerequisite for anyone I would serve.  I can't speak for Mistress, but if I couldn't at least support my bills, then I couldn't see Her having taken me in.   He's correct

For the physical, it would honestly depend on the disability.  I worked as a rehab nurse for 7 years, and I understand quite well what the level of care would be for various maladies.  However, if Mistress were to become disabled, it would be different, because that would become part of life in the relationship and I would serve and care for Her.  Again, not speaking for Her, I'm sure She would reciprocate the care.  He's correct.

I think every single person on the face of the earth is screwed up in the head some way or another, so I feel in that regard it would just depend on the level or type of mental disability they had. 

I think in this lifestyle, responsibility is so huge in WIITWD, and personally, I have to see that same responsibility in regards to life outside of the BDSM realm.  Quite simply, if you are too batty or ill equiped to take care of the UM's properly, you are simply to irresponsible or fargone in the head for me to trust you hitting, cutting, whipping, etc. me also.



MzMia -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 7:51:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Time for my 2 a.m. question.
Masters? Come out and play.
 
Would you Masters take a submissive that was very poor and/or
physically handicapped or with known mental illness?

Why or why not?

I mean poor with no end in sight poor.
Maybe living in a trailer with 4 children and eating beans every night type of poor.
Physically handicapped as in disabled in a wheelchair, paralyzed in the right arm, or
partially blind. 
What about known mental illness?  Something being controlled with medication, but
well, the woman still has glaring "issues".
 
This woman despite her limitations is very sweet and would make a wonderful submissive.
Would you overlook her infirmities and bring her into your life?


I had a friend in college who had submissive tendancies and was a wheelchair user, if I'd have had -any- real idea about BDSM when I was a crummy teen, I'd have collard her in a heart beat-she was great;beautiful, very intelligent, funny and really feisty. 

The one that got away!  To tell you the truth I am in the market for a submissive with a mild or slight disability.  I often find people that aren't or trying to be "perfect", more loyal, dedicated and compassionate.
Funny how many end up alone or in serial relationships, because of the "diamonds" in the rough, that they do not SEE or want or find "desirable".
They prefer the more "desirable" people that treat them like crap.

As far as not having much money. Who -has- got a lot of money? only a fairly small number of lucky people so that wouldn't put Me off.

Ain't that the truth.

Mental illness, as a poster has already said, can be controlled, so again, no real problem there.

I think the real question is how far out of your comfort zone can you go when looking for a sub?.
This statement is deep and somthing I will think about for a long time.

Thanks for posting HalloweenWhite, I hope to see more of you.
Boo



TigerNINTails -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/9/2007 11:07:10 PM)

Thanks LadyHugs, for the links. They're much appreciated.

Peace.

TNT



MzMia -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/10/2007 4:01:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

Thanks LadyHugs, for the links. They're much appreciated.

Peace.

TNT



Most of us, want and hope for only great things for you and your lovely submissive.
Good luck to you both
Please let us know how your family is doing.
Peace and Blessings.



NoVacancy -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 12:59:20 PM)

I would like to chime in if I may.  I am a submissive, and I ran to check and see if there was a recent question like this on the Ask A Submissive board and there wasn't, so I'm going to switch the roles just a bit.  Would I serve a Master who was poor, handicapped or mentally ill. 

Poor yes, because I make enough to support us both.  With kids......not so sure about that.  Mentally ill, it would depend on the mental illnesses, but probably not if it was a serious one. 

The handicapped issue is why I want to chime in.  Last September I met a Dom here on collarme.  He was upfront that he is a paraplegic in a wheel chair.  His personality was appealing, so I agreed to meet.  OMIGOSH...I am so glad I did.  I had some fears about the mechanics of how such a relationship (that includes sex) would be conducted.  He set my mind totally at ease.  Never have I met a more imaginative, caring, sadistic (in a good way), confident, accomplished, intelligent, funny man in my life.  I can't get enough of this man.  I am so glad that I did not let my fears of the unknown stop me from at least "checking it out", because I would have missed one of the best experiences of my life.  Sometimes it only takes looking beyond the surface to discover the gem that lies beneath. 



Lockit -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 2:44:39 PM)

Hello NoVacancy and Everyone…

Thank you for your post NoVacancy! 

I have had to deal with this for a great number of years.  I haven’t always been where I am today in my financial situation and with my son, so I was viewed differently.  Now most men will run as quickly as they can from my situation.  A friend of mine said to me… ‘Lockit, you are an amazing person and I have watched men reject you over and over and I know it hurts you… but you know… I feel sorry for them because they are missing out.’

We can’t know what we are missing until we know someone and although there might be things that we couldn’t live with in a relationship, we could have some amazing friendships if we gave some people a chance.

People sum up my situation very quickly and rule me out as a human being in some cases… often times feeling I did something wrong in life or make poor choices or cannot do certain things or that my illness is a poor attitude.  All are misconceptions.  When people do get to know me, they are typically glad they did.

There is something that I haven’t seen mentioned on this thread and that is that many who are ill or disabled are often preyed upon, in and outside the lifestyle, in relationships.  Some will ‘accept’ them only to use or abuse them.  They will expect us to move into something quicker for the relief… accept less than what we know is best for us or even want to change whether we are dominant or submissive to suit their needs.  All of this seemingly on the premise that we will accept anything at all to have something because we can’t have it all or much of anything,

Also there are those that we have relationships with that must decide whether they can maintain a relationship with us or not.  That is in itself a challenge on top of the typical things one must consider and sometimes it takes time and many will seemingly go the distance only to back out at the last minute.  We tend to get people playing hard with our lives.  I have found in my own situation that men want me so badly that they convince themselves that they can handle what I have going on… promise all the right things and do all the right things… when all along they have hidden the fact that there is some aspect that they cannot handle.

I am just very glad to hear that some will consider all things and give some of us a chance… because even we have desires and needs and can be a blessing to someone else.



shadevarr -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 3:08:44 PM)

Permanently poor: no, it would interfere with my lifestyle too much. A couple years to get them on track on the other hand is not a problem.Physically handicapped: Again, no. It would feel like my pleasure is being limited too greatly.Mental illness: no issues here, everyone is a bit crazy....except for multiple persona disorders, it goes against my sharing policy.



Sinergy -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 3:17:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Poor with no end in sight of not being poor- no.  Because I cannot sustain us both financially and provide a fulfilling and healthy life for myself and another person. 



I agree with this.  I have worked extremely hard to build my second career and life after the first one went tango
uniform in 2000.

Even if I could, Im not going to any more.

Sinergy



LadyHugs -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 3:34:57 PM)

Dear NoVacancy, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I am glad that you posted looking at the other side of disabilities, as well as other issues about Dominants.
 
Last year, at the Master-slave conference in Washington, DC; several individuals participated with disabilities on both sides of the whip, per se.  It has been offered before in workshops on disabilities and M/s (Master-slave) relationships, dynamics.
 
Sometimes, a check into reality that we're all subjected to possible disease, illness, injuries and just plain getting old--what happens when one or the other in the relationship is physically affected which effects the relationship.  Accidents and or crime can happen at any time, the what ifs are something to talk about before any ''what if's'' happen.
 
In my personal travels as a presenter--I include tips for those who may have physical problems on both sides of the whip.  Not seeing anything that included information on disabilities -- I started in 1997 adding to my written works problem solving ideas for what we do.  I was determined, should I ever be in a position of having physical challenges; I would have some techniques as to continue the lifestyle.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 



Sinergy -> RE: 2 a.m. post/Submissives that are poor, disabled, etc. (7/11/2007 3:38:58 PM)

 
I did not mean to give the impression that I would dump somebody if they became injured, disabled, unemployed, or whatever.

When I am in the dynamic the rules change.  What I will not do is start the relationship without some idea that the person I am starting the relationship with is able to make positive steps towards building her life.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



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