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RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 9:26:29 AM   
DommeChains


Posts: 415
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		You know I have never had any accuse me r/t or on line of not being real.

Now having written that the next 3 messages will be full of accusations of not being a real femdom lol.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 10:55:08 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeChains

You know I have never had any accuse me r/t or on line of not being real.



My streak came to an end yesterday. lol Sadly, the Dom who messaged me out of the blue with that conclusion didn't tell me what finally gave me away.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to DommeChains)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:09:14 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		i guess all of us will be " Not real " to somebody but does it really matter ? As long as we are real to ourselves that is all we can be. Each and everyone of us is different and whats right to one person will be wrong to another.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:25:06 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I was told I wasn't a real submissive because________

1. I wouldn't serve a man.
2. I wouldn't serve a couple in which a man was the master of the couple.
3. I wouldn't sign a contract with a woman who wanted me to be her cleaning service who would have no other contact with her because she used "real slaves" to actually do bdsm stuff with.
4. I wouldn't send $50 to someone who wrote me out of the blue demanding I do so.
5. I wouldn't move across the world to Australia on a moment's notice at the "possibility" of being what she was looking for.
6. I wouldn't try to convince my female submissive friends to join us in a "session".
7. I defended a female submissive from an overbearing dominant at a munch who was trying to force her (the woman who came with me) into his truck.
8. I wouldn't break friendships with former dominants who were now close friends.
9. I didn't respond to someone's one-line, insultive message to me.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to MissTreatinyou)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:29:27 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not real because i wouldn't give the guy a blow job in the parking lot at our FIRST meeting.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to MissTreatinyou)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:31:21 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		But you did promise on our second rendevous you would correct that deficiency.

Make it so, number one--------ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:40:23 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay
Apparently, I'm not a REAL Domme ... because I switch! ACKKKK!!! fortunately sub was already enlightened enough to see through that one and "friend" has now become ex-friend!


Well, that, and we heard you wear fuzzy bedroom slippers and eat quiche now and then.  This is incompatible with Required Real 24/7 Domme Wear, which consists strictly of 8" high heels, a leather corset and a whip.  You were also seen going about your daily business at your job, to the bank and to the library without being dressed in the Real Domme Regulation Uniform. Additionally you have turned down several bona fide Real Submissives who required you to put on said uniform and give them blowjobs in bondage. Consequently this is formal notice that the Real Domme Certification Revocation Committee (TM) will be visiting you shortly to take away your Real Domme Card.  That is all. 

- Mistress Manners



(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:48:41 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Obviously, I am not real because Angel and I dont have sex.
I am not real because I actually care about my boys, and dont accept every offer from every visitor to serve me while they are here
I am completely fake because I dont send nude pictures to everyone who asks, since that means I am hiding something.

Ah well


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 11:52:04 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Here are a few of the more amusing ones that I recall as to why the person didn't think I was a "real" Domme:
  1. A "real" Domme treats her sub or slave like an object at all times and would not be seeking a romantic as well as a BDSM relationship.  After all, the sub or slave is less than human and should be treated as such.
  2. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  3. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc.  
  4. A "real" Domme agrees to go on cam immediately upon demand from a sub in his introductory e-mail.  After all, Collarme is rampant with phonies, and if you refuse this demand, you're obviously not "real."
  5. A "real" Domme must be in total cotrol of herself and others at all times.  No "real" Domme would have a weight problem because she must be able to exercise total control over herself before she can even think of controlling others.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to MissTreatinyou)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:01:27 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Here are a few of the more amusing ones that I recall as to why the person didn't think I was a "real" Domme:
  1. A "real" Domme treats her sub or slave like an object at all times and would not be seeking a romantic as well as a BDSM relationship.  After all, the sub or slave is less than human and should be treated as such.
  2. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  3. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc.  
  4. A "real" Domme agrees to go on cam immediately upon demand from a sub in his introductory e-mail.  After all, Collarme is rampant with phonies, and if you refuse this demand, you're obviously not "real."
  5. A "real" Domme must be in total cotrol of herself and others at all times.  No "real" Domme would have a weight problem because she must be able to exercise total control over herself before she can even think of controlling others.

Lady Topaz


that has got to be the funniest shit ever. Since when does a sub have the right to DEMAND anything of a domme? doens't that change the whole dynamic of things? As for lounging around in a leather catsuit all day this si obviously an ass who has never had to wear full body leather for long periods. and throwing # 1 and 4 together is sub/slave is less than human they have no right to DEMAND anything.

I will be honest my run in have been off CM. i have yet ot have anyone say i am not real. mainly because i don't respond if they don't intrest me.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:17:52 PM   
DSwriter


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/14/2007
From: New Hope, PA
Status: offline 		My last Domme used to say that her fellow Domina's did not consider her a "real Domme" because she wasn't a leather-wearing, fire-breathing, whip-wielding bitch on wheels. 

It seems the general public and even Domme's themselves have a stereotype in the back of their minds as to what a "real" Domme is supposed to be.

It's a shame that even my former Domme considered the notion of what it mean to be "real" - meant to "look" a certain way.  And to be cruel.  As if by having a heart, she wasn't "real.".

Which is a shame.  My notion of a real Domme is a woman with strong leadership qualities who quite naturally takes charge in a relationship.  Plain and simple.  All the rest, the leather, the whips & chains, are just optional accessories to be used or discarded at her discretion.

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:19:16 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:26:50 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz
  1. A "real" Domme is loud, pushy, and aggressive at all times.  She certainly is not polite and considerate of others.
  2. A "real" Domme is decked out in appropriate fetish attire at all times.  She lounges around her house in leather catsuits, boots, stilleto heels, etc. 

That's right!  Us Real Dommes give those librarians and bank tellers holy whatfor with our leather bullwhips if they don't
serve Us immediately.  Lines?  We don't wait in no steenking lines!  And you don't even wanna know what We do to the mailman if our Netflix doesn't get delivered on time.  

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 7/8/2007 12:27:18 PM >

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:38:29 PM   
MilkMaidDomme


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I needed a good chuckle today..lol..Thank you!!

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:41:50 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DSwriter
It seems the general public and even Domme's themselves have a stereotype in the back of their minds as to what a "real" Domme is supposed to be.


Well, yes and no.  Most people grow out of the silly stereotypes after coming into contact with the real life BDSM community.  The folks who cling to them are either the ones who have not yet left the online chatrooms to live in the real world, or they have serious mental or emotional issues that make them unsuited for relationships with real human beings.   Some of those folks make the mistake of assuming that the trappings of kink, if grandiose enough, can completely replace the basic foundations of human relationships, such as trust, honesty, communication and negotiation skills.  Unfortunately that isn't a good assumption.

This is not to say that dominance and submission is only an illusion or a game.  It is not, or more accurately there is the real capacity for more than that in a functional long term D/s relationship.  But it's much harder work for both partners than the fantasies and stereotypes suggest.  Shit happens in the real world that never happens in fantasies. Experienced lifestylers understand that we are living in the real world and we need to intelligently deal with issues of trust, communication, physical and emotional safety, balancing the D/s relationship with the needs of dependent family, jobs, finances and other facts of life in the real world that don't exist in a fantasy. 

Snapping out commands and cracking a whip does not make serious relationship issues of trust, communication and honesty go away.  It is a sign of immaturity, unrealistic thinking and unpreparedness if your partner attempts to deal with real life issues in this manner. 

(in reply to DSwriter)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:48:17 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 12:52:09 PM   
Absolutemaster


Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		I was told I wasn't a real Dom because I kissed a girl and put my arms around her affectionately.

(in reply to MissTreatinyou)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 1:16:49 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.



Hi Ma`am..... Thats great news, at last us pets have our own section.

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 1:17:05 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Another Domme claimed I wasn't "real" because I use manners like "please and thank you" when speaking to my sub. I told her everyone has their own lifestyle approach and each is different. So just because your way is not my way does it mean either is wrong.

~Lashra


This is familiar to me too.  I do tend to expect gentlemanly adult behavior without having to insist and I will offer the femenine reciprocity, especially as we are getting to know one another - later my language may get a little more spicy and playful.  But I've experienced dissapointment from boys at my not yelling/shouting enough! 

I have begun to take special note now anytime someone starts in with the "real" discussions or questions as it is a sign to me that a person is embedded in a fanstasy and right now I am in an intense experiencial phase of learning and exploration.  However I do truely think that everyone has their own "reality" and it is more just a matter of matching up well with another.

< Message edited by ocilla -- 7/8/2007 1:21:33 PM >

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Not real - 7/8/2007 1:22:07 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Ladies, if you dont all dress from head to toe in leather, how will we be able to tell who is a Domina when in Wal-mart ?

Perplexed sub


simple the ones who are just running over everyone with their carts or are in the pet section trying collars on the people with them.



Hi Ma`am..... Thats great news, at last us pets have our own section.


ha ha that or they are in the craft section or hardware section looking for new props. Actually have a domme friend who made a ball gag with yarn. actually pretty cute

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 40
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