RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 1:01:57 PM

kyraofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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When and if I make a mistake I am told about it as soon as he thinks it is appropriate, which is generally right away. If it is a mistake, he does not generally get red hot with anger. He may be frustrated and annoyed, but he isn't going to get pissed over something minor unless it is a continual mistake I am making.

If he does get angry, I am going to know it. It will show in his behavior, so if he is angry because of something I have done then he will tell me right away. If he does not tell me then I know that he is not angry with me and I will not spend my time second guessing or beating myself up over some imagined wrong that I have done.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 1:29:59 PM

suboregano

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/18/2006
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When i have angered or annoyed Master i am usually aware of it right away, even though O/ours is currently a long distance relationship. Because of that, He usually can't talk to or punish me right away. It makes me the least anxious when He waits as little as possible after he cools off--if He waits, say, a couple of days that is worse to me than if He talks to me while He is still in the heat of anger.

If i were not aware of my offense, i guess i would prefer an email or a word letting me know that He is annoyed and why, and then waiting to talk about it until He has cooled down a little and i have had time to think about what i have done. Actually, the time to think aspect applies when i know right away that i have done something wrong, too.

Slave kylee

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Nothing can be sole or whole
That has not been rent. --Yeats, "Crazy Jane Talks with the Bishop"

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 1:45:36 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOpinx

When you have made a mistake, would you rather your Master/Mistress came to you Right Away when they were Red Hot with anger/frustration and told you about it when they might not be in so much control of their emotions...

Or...

Waited until they were calm and collected to talk to you about it and what would be done (like 2 days with you not knowing anything was wrong until you were talked to and then *Surprise*)....

Or...

Send you an email telling you they were angry and would deal with you in a couple of days when they were calmer???

I personally wouldnt want to go two days having no clue that I had done something wrong then to suddenly hear about it some other day. Worse yet, I would not want to hear something like: "You screwed up, but I'll tell you how next week when I've calmed down".

I kind of want it all. I want to know right away, but I want the delivery to be gentle, or else I get nervous in my guts and all teary-eyed.

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I give good agita.

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 3:37:44 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Hello Linda,

I think a lot depends on the relationship itself. If you have made a decision and the submissive keeps trying to find fault, lay blame and in some ways displays manipulation to get what they want, it complicates things. The first offense becomes other offenses and everything gets cloudy at times. If you know that you made the right decision on how to handle something and you have heard them out and still feel you were correct in what you did... then that should be final. Someone has to stop the cycle and that someone will have to be the dominant or the whole structure of the dynamics is messed up. Proving all you know it proves.

There is nothing wrong and everything right with hearing your submissive out... but then it should be left in your hands or control as agreed upon in the relationship. After you have made clear your stand and have realistically heard your submissive and have given a balanced resolution... and they don't accept it... well there isn't much more you can do but put a stop to it somehow.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the fact that someone is new and we don't wish to harm them and such... but we have to realistically look at the situation and put the blame or credit where each are due. We cannot own someone else's emotional problems. We can try to temper them, guide and assist, but if they are not listening... nothing will work. Sometimes you have to let them walk their life as they will and know you did your best at the time and hope that one day they will understand whatever it is that you had to do.

Personally I don't take passive aggressive manipulation very well. I have a very low tolerance for it and will not put up with the drama in my life. I consider myself very fair and very open and if I have seen a pattern of this kind of behavior, I nip it in the bud early on or walk away. And walking away does not mean constant emails, calls, begging and manipulative guilt methods of trying to convince me of anything different. At that point... they are on their own in their newness and life lessons... Who has time for that?

I think you have done all you can to handle this well and even if mistakes were made, you have done all you can to make things work out for the best. Good luck!

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 3:42:50 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

i would want Them to discuss it right away, right after i cooked Their
favorite dinner, whipped (oops) up Their favorite delectable dessert,
performed a hot sponge bath massage, wrapped Them up in a dryer
warmed terrycloth robe, popped in Their favorite movie, laid my
head on Their lap, (or in Their lap), looking up adoringly as i bat
my tear filled eyes and whimper, "something wrong breath of my life?"

chia* (the pet)

lol you kill me....I've gotta get mad and look you up....lol

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 4:58:31 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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i'd want to know immediately; i'm a masochist like that<kidding>...

i've yet to be in a relationship with anyone who lost control of their emotions when dealing with me, no matter how angry or frustrated they were, so that part wouldn't be part of my deciding factor, so yeah, i'd still like to know immediately.

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RE: Waiting out the Anger/Frustration - 7/9/2007 5:29:51 PM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
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Sometimes Daddy diciplines/punishes in the heat of the moment and sometimes he waits it out. It's his prerogative, honestly. I don't really care for it in either fashion (that's the point) but I think, if I had to pick one, I think I prefer the 'heat of the moment' because then I know it's over and neither of us are simmering with any negative emotions.

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Post #: 27