RE: Love within Authority Dynamics

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LotusSong -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 9:19:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong KOM, I enjoyed your discourse and agree with it. One question however, do they have exclusivity with you while you provide none with them? Or are you content with the group you have and no longer seek others? I've always been curious about that :) We three are One... the One being the Relationship of the three us together. Anyone that comes into our life will in effect have to jump over three hurdles to become a part of our inner life. Thou, we are all open to the possibility... the reality is that it's not going to happen. I think we have a better chance of winning the lottery than having a person come into our life and connect with the three of us to level I expect. Not to say the person is not out there.. but... since I am not fishing ever pond.. We are not likely to catch her. Having said that.. I am very content and happy with my girls. We also build on a outter circle with our friends. In particular is Rob & Denika who is very close and apart of my lifestyle family. If there is a focus.. it will be building on this extended lifestyle. Thank you. One other thing I was never clear on.. do you all live together or does everyone maintain their own residence?

wwwkevinww -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 9:20:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think that is you can't find live that lasts beyond 18 months you have more issues than worrying about someone taking what you say out of context or misquoting you. I'll try to type slowly, its not the relationship only lasting 18 months, its the intense feelings of this particular type of obsessive love.....the concept was that after this particular type of obssessive love ends, another takes its place, its not that you feel romantic love and then have no more possible feelings and are in a loveless relationship......

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 9:35:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Thank you. One other thing I was never clear on.. do you all live together or does everyone maintain their own residence? Alandra has been living with me for approximately 17 years. Currently, Kyra lives in Florida. However, she is going through the Immigration process and we expect before the end of 2008 she will be moved home. Unfortunately, the timeline is beyond our abiity to control, otherwise she would already be home. So for now... we deal the Long Distance and with being together at different times of the year.

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 9:38:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think that is you can't find live that lasts beyond 18 months you have more issues than worrying about someone taking what you say out of context or misquoting you. I'll try to type slowly, its not the relationship only lasting 18 months, its the intense feelings of this particular type of obsessive love.....the concept was that after this particular type of obssessive love ends, another takes its place, its not that you feel romantic love and then have no more possible feelings and are in a loveless relationship...... I will try typing even slower.... she got your point.... and clearly you didn't get hers..... Essentially.... she ... is ... saying.. that... you ... are .... fucked... up!!! hope that wasn't to fast for you

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:15:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww I'm talking facts... please point to the facts.. and provide data that supports the facts? I am at a lost of what you think facts are. quote: my experiences are irrelavant...my opinions are irrelevant.... well.. actually a person's experiences are very relavant when they choose to express an opinion on a give issue or topic. Of course so are actual facts that are supportable to one's opinion. So you don't share any experiences to give your opinion some creditibility and are unable to provide any supportable facts.... I think you made a very good assessment.... Your opinion is irrelevant. I think most of us can agree with you on that one. Of course.. we are more than willing to change such an assessment. But somehow I doubt that will occur. quote: Are you trying to share your experience or brag about your experience? You are hardly trying to know me as much as call me a fool for not fitting into you idea of what is the appropriate path to enlightenment or "self actualization". mmmmmmmm I think the start said very clearly why I posted... mmmmmmm I think I need to type slower for you again... Speak without thoughtful consideration and risk being seen as a fool. I do believe you are removing all doubt in alot of peoples eyes here. Which has nothing to do with you fitting into my idea. Hell... I was talking about others fitting this idea... I was talking about me and my family. But.. clearly.... I was typing to fast for you. quote: I choose a path of being alone rather than sharing, to be a hermit rather than "compromise". If so, is this path show you I have less of a grasp on text book facts on what love is.... well... please provide these text book facts.. spouting words without the ability to give reference is not giving facts. You give alot of opinion.... would enjoy seeing the facts that support your opinion. Ironcially, I believe I have some idea of the "Facts" your trying to pick out of that brain of yours... However, because you only really have a vague recollection of the ideas that you read about... you are unfortunately lost any depth of understanding you might of once thought you had... but... go find them... and show them and love to see if you support what you trying to convey. I full expect that you when and IF you do so.. that you will come back with a different spin on things... but trying to say you where right but.. what I meant was this and heres why. But.. I actually don't expect you even really do the work. quote: There are a few facts you have shared, and I accept them for face value...you want to say your self-actualized, and that you are in a loving relationship for x number of years with 2 different women, fine. you want to say you have particular experience with how your dynamic works and went into some details, fine. oh my... I feel so relieved you approve... well ok not.. we already established that your opinion is Irrelevant quote: you want to spout your delusional belief that your love grows over time (it does sound better though than reality), more power to you. your not hurting anyone, and it does promote the dynamic your in. again... we already established your opinion is irrelenvant.... god doesn't if feel good to agree on something... quote: But the reality is you didn't share any real facts about how you achieved self-actualization, no real facts about how anyone else can aceheve what you have, your just sitting around bragging, talking about your dynamic.... Oh my.... we can agree on a second thing... Your right... I didn't convey any facts with regards to how I achieved self-actualization... at least not in this post. But you last comment is a rather revealing of your own personal motivations... but.. I wonder if you can see what is rather obvious. Sad really! quote: you want to talk about authority, but ask yourself do I care? what do I care about? facts? your opinions? Do you have anything to talk about with regard with Love within authority dynamics that actually says anything of value? Have you really talked about how to show love while still showing authority..... wait... didn't we already established that your opinion is irrelevant... so.. why the hell would I ask you if you care? What I say has value to some and none for others.... that's good enough for me quote: I think it becomes clear what you have said is your experience and rudimentary facts you believe are true, but you haven't really told me anything I care about, besides you like to brag..... there you go showing that part of you again... sad situation it is. quote: I guess people don't want to think, people are mostly sheep and want to believe there is only one type of love....... yeah.. I suppose there are some that believe that... of course.. I never met anyone like that... quote: you can think what I have said here makes me a fool, I don't care about you're opinion, in all honesty....if you want to talk about anything that is thought provoking or makes someone wonder....or facts that relate to anyone besides your personal experience (did I mention I don't care?)......I'm going to step out of the convo, because I have stated what I wanted to.... yeah... well.. I agree.. You have removed all doubt of the value of your opinion... and reinforced peoples judgement of you. Of course.. you did open my eyes to your character on another side... I pity you

wwwkevinww -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:17:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justheather quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww if you really really care, look up facts regarding our best understanding of romantic love, and tell me with reputable psychologists with page numbers and books that the facts I have stated are false....because the facts I have stated are the basic facts of a news article I had regarding love I had posted on my wall in my bedroom for a number of years....and since I have not heard any valid claim to it being not factual, I accept it as fact, not opinion (we all have one, just like assholes..).... Why didnt you provide "reputable psychologists with page numbers and books" if that is what you are requiring a person who does not agree with you do? Im no expert on debate, but it might be considered bad form for you to present swooping generalizations and opinions in broad strokes about human behavior and then suggest that anyone who cares to disagree with you should be ready with seven pages of end-notes. The last time I checked "something I had taped to my bedroom wall for a long time" doesnt cut it as a source. I have no problem with you expressing your opinion, but your approach seems rather condescending and you do not seem oriented toward open discussion of this topic any more than the people who are posting in response to you do. Perhaps you have set the tone with your initial reply. how about this one as a source, this is one of the many many books on psychology I own, generally self help books....Are you the one for me? Real moments by barbara De Angelis, Ph.D. do you need the ISBN number I'm looking on in the back of the book: this book talks all about love, it has actual valuable information, and can easily be applied to vanilla or BDSM relationships. chapter 2, page 37 title is Why we choose the people we love - the chapter can be summed up in one simple phrase on page 47, "if I'm so smart, how did I end up in such a dumb relationship?" When you understand why You've made the love choice you have, you will then be free to make new and better love choices. one of her diagrams on page 47 is Life Experiences ->Decisions -> emotional programming -> love choices on page 353, the adventure of love, she talks about in bold towards the middle end of the page, "Only when you've found the partner for your traveling companion will your traveling companion will your journey, though always challenging, become one that truly brings you happiness. And only with the right partner can you use your relationship not to 'fall in love' (romantic love) but to 'ascend in love'." the parenthesis I added.....the book I own that I'm looking thru is actually 3 books in one, its not indisputable facts, but it seems relatively reputable and this is a valid psychologist... are you going to try to dispute the fact that I am educated and know basic book facts about love? Or that I remember basic facts that seemed interesting to me at the time.... this book is much much more interesting than this forum, in reality, page 9 is about Test your love IQ?.... Page 29 talks about the crisis of spirit in America. obviously some people do know this basic knowledge and I'm sure some people do have books and what not (tell me I'm not the only one who actually cares about love), but know that when I say I remember a random obscure fact regarding a certain type of love off of a news article that I bothered to clip out and put on my door, it had some relevance, and the biggest type of wow freaky hey, that is a wierd fact was that which I have already relayed.....18 monthes = max romantic obsessive love possible.... Just like I remember Maslow's hierachy of needs or that sex was considered one of the basic needs that you need similiar to other basic needs before you could achieve self actualization, etc that is actually another one of his "higher" needs...., he had it set up in a pyramid with (lower base) needs vs higher (spiritual) needs..... the point is that I'm not just bragging, I am speaking facts, that this was what was stated in the article, and my memory isn't faulty, and I'm not just making shit up... on page 188 she talks about how pornography hurts intimacy because it brings a third person into the equation, whether fantasy or not....... so yea, when I say quote pages and books, don't think I cannot do this myself.....

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:30:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww the point is that I'm not just bragging, I am speaking facts, that this was what was stated in the article, and my memory isn't faulty, and I'm not just making shit up... LOL.. ok now.. I understand what you think facts are... do you understand that you more or less quoted other opinions.... For example.. Maslow's Heirachy is actually an Opinion. It's a Theory that he used to explain the existence of certain facts. Do you actually have his written theory? I do it's an incredible read... However... as a Theory it fails to explain other Facts For example... Security is a fundamental block to achieve Self-actualization. However.. the theory doesn't explain why a person puts himself in harms way to save others. Don't get me wrong... It's a fantastic theory... explains alot.. and has had a huge impact on the intellectual discourse of understanding Human Motivations. But it isn't Fact! It's an Opinion. An opinion that holds tremendous influence in the psychology field. editted to add Which is very much what my OP is about... It's a Theory/Opinion that explains the facts of why I have achieved the relationships I have. It is not inclusive in explaining all the facts and neither is the opinion inclusive either. Since... my approach to Love within my authority dynamic is only one aspect to why I have achieve what I have achieved.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:34:15 AM)
LOL I'll have to tell my partner that when we spend our hours at his computer enjoying porn pictures together and sharing fantasies and laughing together that it's really just hurting our intimacy. And that time at Leather Retreat when he had a great scene with someone else and watched me get suspended- yeah that really hurt our intimacy too.

wwwkevinww -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:49:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww when he says he loves them more and more, I just don't get it, you are blowing smoke.....you can have unconditional love, and yes, you can love someone more than someone else.....but you can only love 100%, you can only work 100%, there are only so many hours in a day, and you logically are under self-delusion if you believe love grows over time limitlessly..... I think you are confusing love with relationships. All healthy relationships are conditional. That doesn't mean that love is. Love isn't limited by time or space- only EXPRESSIONS of love. Love isn't a pie you dole out to one person at a time, or have to divvy up into slices. I find this to be interesting, because your pointing to the crux of what I'm trying to say....I'm not going to debate with you whether love is limited, because maybe some person wants to believe in never ending infinite love (like godlike love), but humans can only express so much love. This limited time has to be doled out to limited amounts based on real situations, who do you spend how much time with who....do you divide it evenly or do you divide it based on how much time you have spent with them before, well, this wife I was with for 2 years, the other for 1 year, so the one with 2 years gets twice as much time.........expression of love in the end is all that really matters.... it doesn't matter what you feel, it matters what you project in expression so the other person can feel it..... I can be the nicest person in the world, but if no one knows how nice I am because I never express my true feelings, then does my true feelings really matter? My dad use to tell me this: "the guy was the nicest person in the whole world, but no one knew it". basically his comment was this person was a snake, and really mean, and that is why he didn't express it....... if your into pornography and various other sorts of fantasy, how really intimate is your significant other going to feel if you express that yes, you sometimes aren't thinking about them when your having sex with them....... if your going to attribute you have godlike limitless love, you gotta qualify it, because I cannot tell you I can think of infinite thoughts without qualifying that yes, I'm stilll mortal and although I can have limitless thoughts I am still limited by my time, and since time is finite, my choices of my thoughts are thus finite...... If I tell you I have love for all humans, its hard to swallow unless I also say that its a choice, and I can also not care, because I can control my emotions based on my thoughts.....what I focus on.... your expression of love is finite because of time and real world dynamics, and actions matter more than "feelings".......I rather have one person show sympathy than 10 people have love but never show it....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 10:55:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww if your into pornography and various other sorts of fantasy, how really intimate is your significant other going to feel if you express that yes, you sometimes aren't thinking about them when your having sex with them....... Well actually we both get turned on by talking about having others with us or watching us with others. quote: your expression of love is finite because of time and real world dynamics, and actions matter more than "feelings".......I rather have one person show sympathy than 10 people have love but never show it.... And that's great. But that doesn't mean I can't love more than one person and be able to express it in a healthy way so that we are all fulfilled.

Deboyce -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:05:15 AM)
wwwkevinww: Do the word sociopath or psychopath somehow find their way into some of the comments being made on this topic?

earthycouple -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:05:26 AM)
I've scanned through most of the posts...to the OP. Lovely and wonderful. I am wife to one and Mistress to another who lives right here in our home. I love deeply, madly and passionately both of them. My husband has been in my life for 5 years now and my slave is relatively new (I'll be sure to let ol' Kevin know if I'm still passionately in love with Robert at month 18). Our dynamic is wonderful and fulfills all of us. You can spew skewed information from misc. books all day; in the end fact is what we make it.

wwwkevinww -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:10:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww the point is that I'm not just bragging, I am speaking facts, that this was what was stated in the article, and my memory isn't faulty, and I'm not just making shit up... LOL.. ok now.. I understand what you think facts are... do you understand that you more or less quoted other opinions.... For example.. Maslow's Heirachy is actually an Opinion. It's a Theory that he used to explain the existence of certain facts. Do you actually have his written theory? I do it's an incredible read... However... as a Theory it fails to explain other Facts For example... Security is a fundamental block to achieve Self-actualization. However.. the theory doesn't explain why a person puts himself in harms way to save others. Don't get me wrong... It's a fantastic theory... explains alot.. and has had a huge impact on the intellectual discourse of understanding Human Motivations. But it isn't Fact! It's an Opinion. An opinion that holds tremendous influence in the psychology field. editted to add Which is very much what my OP is about... It's a Theory/Opinion that explains the facts of why I have achieved the relationships I have. It is not inclusive in explaining all the facts and neither is the opinion inclusive either. Since... my approach to Love within my authority dynamic is only one aspect to why I have achieve what I have achieved. okay, your edited add and your other dynamics shows where your really coming from. I'm sure your familiar with hard and soft sciences. psychology is all just opinions for the most part, take what works, throw away the rest....nevertheless references and what not are important in disputing what "works" and what doesn't.....its a working science and will constantly mutate and grow...... the hard sciences are supposed to be more grounded in facts...... yet even the hard sciences are really just theories that are beleived to be more true..... you go to the grand-daddy of all sciences, philosphy, and basically you cannot even prove that you exist....its basically hard to prove anything at all, especially anything relatively basic, if you don't want to accept it, philosphy is a good way to debate......because the person sits around trying to prove shit and nothing is provable.... so how can you show love to someone and really care about them, want them to grow as a person, and yet humilate them and treat them like scum, and tell them to sleep in a cage or not want to kiss and hug them, at least a little? I think its one thing to really care about someone and do some kinky games and spice things up a little, but completely another to pull out the bull whip and beat the shit out of the poor masochist who craves pain because she's been taught its the only way to experience love or pleasure....... It bugs me I read profiles of women who are craving this type of stuff, and I think to myself, alot of work with that one.......to get them back to normal basic humanity instead of animal survival --to the higher levels of love.....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:17:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww I think its one thing to really care about someone and do some kinky games and spice things up a little, but completely another to pull out the bull whip and beat the shit out of the poor masochist who craves pain because she's been taught its the only way to experience love or pleasure....... It bugs me I read profiles of women who are craving this type of stuff, and I think to myself, alot of work with that one.......to get them back to normal basic humanity instead of animal survival --to the higher levels of love..... OK I understand your feelings on this. But no one in this thread has talked about doing or intending to do ANY of that. And just because you don't like or understand it doesn't mean that others can't thoroughly enjoy and be fulfilled in it.

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:22:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww okay, your edited add and your other dynamics shows where your really coming from. mmmmm no actuallly... your response shows you just caught up to others.

MadRabbit -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:28:36 AM)
I just hope there is some lubricate involved as he keeps working his head farther and farther up in there

Ayanaev717 -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:37:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I just hope there is some lubricate involved as he keeps working his head farther and farther up in there Now now now be nice. [:)]

KnightofMists -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:38:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I just hope there is some lubricate involved as he keeps working his head farther and farther up in there LMAO.... Well He said he is not much of a Sadist... but from what I seen he might be a masocist.... so lubricate might not be desired

MadRabbit -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:41:35 AM)
You and your "weird" dynamics...but I'm not judging...

LaTigresse -> RE: Love within Authority Dynamics (7/9/2007 11:53:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I just hope there is some lubricate involved as he keeps working his head farther and farther up in there That is kinda what I was thinking also. Really, it is no different than any other windbag we have seen on the forums running around spouting off about their way being the only true way. We have seen it in the gorean philosophy, in the female supreme group, and now this guy. What all too many people do not understand is that just because something is not for them, for whatever the reason, does not mean it is not very right for others. All they see is their own limited reality. It is human nature I think. Real maturity and growth is when you are able to acknowledge not only your own strengths but also your own weaknesses and limitations. To be able to say, "while your way is not for me, it does not make it wrong or impossible for you" takes maturity and insight. Something kevin appears to be lacking.

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