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vield -> RE: BDSM, Bisexuality and Boredom...advice please!!! (7/16/2007 7:41:52 AM)
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Lots of good thougtful advice here, which is something I enjoy about the folks on CM.
I really encourage people to hold off from judging themself or each other based upon one or two incidents or upon some fantasy that turns you on. The ONLY label which is accurate about anybody is one they tie on their own forehead, and even then only they can really translate what the label means to them. I have read lots of stuff that says if one has any same sex thoughts one is homosexual, and I have seen stuff that says if one has heterosexual encounters one can not be gay or lesbian. I have seen stuff about bisexuals saying they are hiding their true nature or are too wimpy to pick a preference. NONE of these things makes any sense to me and I know of cases where all such stuff is incorrect.
You will learn to make your own choices about sexuality, just like you will learn to make your own choices about domination, switching and submission. The only valid reason why you might not change roles and preferences as pleases you when you are with different people is simply because you may choose not to do that today. One must usually try a number of things before deciding upon a lifetime preference, and even after you make that decision you still may decide to change your mind.
Whatever your age, being confused is not unusual. It happens to most of us from time to time, whatever our ages. It is very possible your male friends who have become close to you then "came out" as gay were people seeking a warm supportive friend, and that they opened up to themself as they needed to when you enabled them to open up to you. The only way someone could say you "made them go gay" is if you tied them up and gave them to other men to "use", or else if someone is trying to manipulate you with some sort of guilt trip of this type.
Liking male/male fantasies, porn, stories etc. is VERY common amoung women these days. I suspect that once women became liberated enough to admit they liked these sexual things, they realized that 2 guys together gives twice the fantasy without a competing female figure, just like lots of men LOVE the pics, videos, stories and facts of 2 or more women enjoying each other.
I also know some straight women who are very close friends with some gay men because some of these guys are very sweet and pleasant companions (who also are not always trying to get into their pants).
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