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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 1:39:09 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

LaTigresse: I am just having a hard time imagining anyone giving an outright refusal at a serious order of mine. Not that I am being fat headed, I just cannot imagine anyone getting far enough into any sort of relationship with me, to be in my home, that would do it.

Okay, I just remembered a couple of someones........they are cute, furry, and four legged.

Ahem. I KNOW you've had unmentionables in the home...and yet you can still say this with a straight face?

*grin*

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 41

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 2:57:05 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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Dang that would piss Me off royally.

I would dump the couch over and send his ass sprawling.
Or I would get the "stick" ans start whacking any area I can find until hes on the floor.
OR I would grab him by the hair and ear and again put him on the floor.

And then he would be in HUGE trouble with Me...I dont take that crap at all.
After I had him off the couch and tied up he would be made to pay for disobeying.
A good face slapping seems to knock some sense into them.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 42

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 3:10:28 PM

grillo

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/16/2006
From: Hamilton Ontario Canada
Status: offline

   I am in complete agreement, communication is key here. Such behaviour is, most certainly, disrespectful and insubordinate to say the least. Regardless of whether he was your sub or your husband in a submissive role, it is not acceptable to so blatantly disobey the One to whom you have given your submission. i would never, even on a bad day, refuse my Mistress direct command and i find it hard to conceive of how someone who WANTED a D/s relationship could either. i would, at the very least, respectfully request to talk the situation over, with Mistress Karamel, if there was some extenuating circumstances keeping me from obeying Her that She should know (though i should think that i would have told Her immediately about any such "circumstances" long before it became an issue).
   My question is, why is the sub being disobedient? Even if they do not know themselves why they have chosen to be such a brat, there is clearly a reason. And why did the sub not even attempt to explain his bizarre behaviour? i am sure that, where i to disobey my Mistress in this fashion, not only would i be ignored for an unprescribed period of time (nothing worse for a sub than to be ignored), but i would thereafter be involved in a long and thorough discussion as to why i had momentarily LOST MY MIND and been willfully rude to my Domina and whether or not i was still interested in being Her submissve. Unless i was sincere in my remorse think i would likely be out the door.
   It seems to me that you cannot effectively punish the insubordinate sub until you understand the root of the problem. Certainly if such behaviour was a second offense then dismissal of the sub might seriously be considered. i know that, as a submissive who loves to serve my Mistress, the threat of no longer being Her's would definitely straighten me out tout de suite!

                                                       Devoted and loving submissive of KaramelGoddess

< Message edited by grillo -- 7/12/2007 3:40:04 PM >

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)

Post #: 43

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 3:11:20 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Okay, I give you that.

They are sorta like the dogs and cat, do not know better until a certain age and mental capacity.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 44

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 4:01:58 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DSwriter

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei
3. He will trust that I will make accurate decisions and will always act with his well-being in mind.
.

Well said M'Lady. This seems to be at the heart of a Female-led relationship. The male willing agrees to this at inception. And, hopefully craves this - and has the personality to match.

Agreed, it shouldn't be something You turn off, or You'll be facing open rebellion. (We submissive can be like children - testing Your boundaries and Your will.)

A follow up question ...

Do You want to be Dominant 24/7? I realize You can't turn it off, but do You want to punish every infraction? Doesn't that take a lot of energy? Do You want a mix of a D/s and vanilla relationship? And if so, how do handle that mix?

Just trying to inspire some discussion.

I think you are misunderstanding what I mean... To me, the bond remains 24/7 whether punishment ever happens or not. Being dominant does not equate to having to punishing a submissive. One can be dominant in the relationship, lead and control the relationship, setting expectations and limits without running around punishing every (or any) infraction.

My point is that with the right communication to begin with, my submissive would not respond to me as he did in the OP's hypothetical... he would communicate with me his concern/problem, and punishment would not be an issue.

Punishment isn't "fun" and should be used in rare circumstances, otherwise it is not effective.. in my opinion.

(in reply to DSwriter)

Post #: 45

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 6:04:14 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

As the pages have unraveled, even though We all understand now that it is just a hypothetical, it's still worth answering.

First off, let Me say no, this has never happened to Me. Actually, I can't see this ever happening in any long term arrangement because I am very strict about a particular rule. My submissive must respect Me at all times. That covers a lot of ground, including, but not limited to the way he is to address Me, the commands I give, his general behavior, etc. Don't get Me wrong. I'm not saying that anyone is perfect, but there is a difference between slips and outright disobedience. The latter, IMO, is worthy of immediate dismissal. Since I make that very clear to My submissives up front, they know that 'power plays' of this sort aren't tolerated.

One thing the OP mentioned was the lack of the ability to physically force a submissive to comply with a command. I won't debate that point, however. it should never really come into question. (Should I add here that I have been known to grasp one sub by the throat and "encourage" him to be where I wished? Ummm. Probably not.) If he is not willing to obey from My spoken word, he probably isn't the right submissive for Me.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 46

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 8:08:44 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Yah...and you can't spay or neuter...which adds an entire layer of anxiety.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 47

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/12/2007 9:15:48 PM

Goddess20

Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline

As i dont know your sub I have to guess and say he wanted punishment ie beating etc. If I was you I would have told him your arrangement was over and to get out, he then would have crumbled and did as you said. but after that you should have punished him in the way I just read by making him write an essay of why he did it, appoligising for what he did and worshipped you. then when his written so much his hand feels like it gonna fall off, id rip it up, make him write it again, word for word. then he would only eat bread and water for a day and sleep on the floor for a week without a single privlige.

(in reply to LadyKrystie)

Post #: 48

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/13/2007 12:24:47 AM

OmarKhyam1951

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline

You told him you were going to "punish" him. It sounds like he wanted that. So, dragging and forcing is what he may have wanted/needed. If you were serious about it, your attitude should be no more floggings until his attitude improves.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyKrystie

I usually have a pretty good imagination when it comes to coming up with punishments to fit the crime... But one particular scenarion kind of has me stumped. What would you do if at some point - Say you and your subbie are sitting on the sofa watching TV together, and you decide you want him to sit on the floor at your feet... And he refuses (maybe he's in a bad mood, or being obstinate, whatever). You firm up your tone, and order him to... He refuses. You threaten with punishment for disobedience, and he digs his heels in and settles himself more firmly into the sofa and gets one of those "Hell no, make me, bitch" looks in his eyes. I'm a big girl, but still physically weaker than alot of the men I know when it comes to brute strenght. So I know I can't drag him off the sofa, and force him on his knees if he's outright being a pain in the ass. I'm curious to know what some of you would do in that situation. If A. He was just a sub/slave and B. If he was your partner/husband. Thanks a bunch. ;)

(in reply to LadyKrystie)

Post #: 49

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/13/2007 2:54:04 AM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

If he was just a sub/slave: walk away and if he crawls back after a while, make it clear it's his last chance and make him pay for his error. (whip him so he feels it for a week long or so).

If he was your partner/husband: Does he want to go vanilla, just have fun on times or 24/7 IRL? Only in the last case you can take the full responsability because it's not play.

If he chooses the last posibility, now is the moment to act: as soon as he commits, register him, make up a contract (not legal, but binding between you two), make pictures (if he wants to revolt you can show them to his friends, family), let him sign over his assets, and very important: take away his choice of where to sit and take away the remote: you are in charge.

If not, it's all but play and can be fun to. But you don't need to be ready to play whenever he wants: you are the domna.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to LadyKrystie)

Post #: 50

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/13/2007 5:06:20 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMistressa

Depending on my mood, I would either simply walk out, or I would ask him the capital of Thailand, punch him in the nuts and say "Bangkok!" and then walk out (because I am always looking for an excuse to use the Bangkok joke.)

Seriously, in a D/s relationship this level of disrespect is unacceptable. Your physical strength has nothing to do w/it (although you can always lead a person by the ear, regardless of their size and strength.) It sounds like it is time for a lot of communication on this one.

Thanks! Great idea! You had me giggling, and I will be smiling a lot today thinking of what you said. bangkok!

(in reply to LaMistressa)

Post #: 51

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/13/2007 6:00:09 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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if i were the dominant in question, i would get up, go put on some of my finest clothing, and leave; more than likely i'd come home with someone who would submit to my whims, and not partake of any d/s with sub in question until a very long and serious conversation took place.

(in reply to LadyKrystie)

Post #: 52

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/13/2007 8:45:16 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

It just depends on how he goes about refusing Me.

If he tells me he's tired from a long day and just isn't in 'sub' mode, I'd probably understand and opt for some less strict but still mutually satisfying scene, instead.

If he was just resistant, or *** god forbid*** "Whiney" about it, (egads I can't STAND a whiner), or played the obstinate bad boy about it, I'd stop the BDSM interaction altogether.

If he came around later and realized how he'd screwed up, I'd whip the bottoms of his feet until he couldn't walk very well for a few days, but then, only if he was worth keeping.

That kind of obstinance will get a sub a quick and permanent 'sayonara' from Me.

I don't have the time nor the interest in trying to train a sub to respond to MY needs when I want a submissive to serve Me. If he's not smart enough to know that being a footstool is what I want at the time, I don't want him around.

As for what I would do if he were My husband? I wouldn't marry an obstinate pigmale like that to begin with. ; )

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 7/13/2007 8:46:15 PM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to LadyKrystie)

Post #: 53

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 2:46:26 AM

IamonlyMEAT

Posts: 10
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

See, this is why none of you are worthy of my submission--the moment you're challenged on any level, you're useless.

I am a defiant guy. If you can't handle, "He won't get on the floor when I tell him too! It's the end of the world!" Then how are you going to handle someone like me who will fight you tooth and nail? Fuck, I hate being a sub with a dom's temperment.

Anyway, if I were in that situation, I'd never give such a ludicrous order to begin with. It undermines your authority to waste your time making your sub do every little whim that enters your head. If I did give the order and it was not met with compliance, I'd totally ignore him for the next few days. Punishment of a physical nature is probably what he wants, so you definitely shouldn't give him that. The worst true punishment is to be oblivious to him.

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 54

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 2:58:00 AM

wandersalone

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Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IamonlyMEAT
If you can't handle, "He won't get on the floor when I tell him too! It's the end of the world!" Then how are you going to handle someone like me who will fight you tooth and nail?

I am guessing that the dominant would show you the door pretty quick smart.....though I am not too sure if you would have got that far in the first place.

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(in reply to IamonlyMEAT)

Post #: 55

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 3:02:39 AM

IamonlyMEAT

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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You act like I should be devastated.

I wouldn't want to go through the door of someone so weak.

I have no interest in submitting to someone who wants a sissy who will obey them with unwavering loyalty. I'm not that kind of dog. I'm the ruthless junkyard dog that you have to impose your will on and train. I'm only for a REAL domme, if such a thing exists.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 56

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 8:08:26 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Just what we need, a "real" submissive for a "real" Domme.

Here`s your first clue. Being defiant is the exact opposite of being submissive. You complained on another thread on Dommes with rude profiles, yet now seem to want exactly that.

(in reply to IamonlyMEAT)

Post #: 57

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 8:58:13 AM

tampabiker

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

i would never do that . but if i did i know i would not like the out come

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 58

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 9:22:38 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IamonlyMEAT

You act like I should be devastated.

I wouldn't want to go through the door of someone so weak.

I have no interest in submitting to someone who wants a sissy who will obey them with unwavering loyalty. I'm not that kind of dog. I'm the ruthless junkyard dog that you have to impose your will on and train. I'm only for a REAL domme, if such a thing exists.

It reads to me that you want to be force to obey.

That works for some people but frankly I have to deal with people every single day that want to fight over rules, laws, basic politeness, and common human decency.

Why would I want that from someone who submits to me?

I think it is much more powerful to have someone respect and honor you so much that he willingly gets on his knees and obeys without question and without hesitation. You have to be the type of person worthy of his respect and honor but I for one am not interested in someone who must be forced or overpowered physically to feel like that.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to IamonlyMEAT)

Post #: 59

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 7/15/2007 10:54:06 AM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

The scenario the OP described i couldn't fathom....seriously...to disobey like that...i cant even fit that into my brain.

I agree with this statement.
I can't fathom this happening.
The Dominant Lady should leave the room or the home immediately, if possible.
She should not have any more D/s interactions with this man, until many lengthy conversations, if ever again.

< Message edited by asubmissiveheart -- 7/15/2007 10:57:52 AM >

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 60

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