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RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 7:26:37 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Hi

i try to respond, however sometime o do get irky, when somone don't respect that i am owned, when i agree to mail whit somone and all they do is nag about chatting. i do not understand why pepole can not undertand, yes i have the tome to drop them a mail now and then, i do not have the time to sit houers at an end at my computer chatting. When i agree to chat whit pepole but inform them that they must write me a few days in advance as i am seldom on yahoo and they then complain, well you are never on. Basically when somone do not respect my time or my relationship, then i get angry.

Another thing that anger me is that if somone feel insulted by something i have said, ask what i meant, i very seldom mean to insult anyone, if somone feel i have insulted them so much as to have to talk whit my Master to correct me, either mail him or send me a mail to send to him, dont if you are another slave write me to go on and on and on on how insulting i am, just to discover it was just a misunderstanding.

i dont get angry by childish mail, but i am not very likely to reply, at leat not seriously to mails in the like of Hi babe, i wanna fuck u in ur azz and similar, first i am taken, second, if i was not, if you can not write the word ass right, or at least try to, you are not comming near it or the rest of me for that matter.

Generally, i think most here get very much strange mail. Some seam to think BDSM pepole are all about their kinks all the time, so they dont write Hi am i George, would you like to write whit me, some just write Hi i love to eat poo. Some think every sumbissive is a slut that will willingly leave her Dom at the drop of her hat, basically it drops so much junk down the mailbox of especially female members of this forum, sometimes, regretfully some good mails from honest pepole just get lost in the menure, and that i am sorry for.

i wish you all well.


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 10:13:17 AM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think I generally get angry, and when I do I just delete, but a couple of comments.

It is hard and scary to be out here.  After a really awful incident where a guy I saw once and didn't want to see again started publishing my home number that I also use for work, in public forums and hundreds of men calling me up with very violent elements and a police report and having to change my phone number and redo professional stuff, it is SO hard and scary to be out here again.  I considered vanilla dating for months before I came back here because it is really, really hard to deal with the jerks (I'm not saying you are a jerk, but when you get 4 or 5 e-mails that feel like they are tearing into you and taking something from you, or that you are just a slut who will sleep with anyone ("I'm looking for a gift for my master for the night--can I give him you?"  "Whore, do this now.."  "You should at least have a photo since you made me read your dissertation...")  well, I start to feel diminished in a way that in intellectually silly buy emotionally real, which can put me in attack mode for more appropriate e-mails.)

Second, while I try to send a nice note to all reasonable e-mails, I really only reply in depth to guys who comment on something in my profile, which is exceedingly long, and frankly designed to not be interesting to most men, but hopefully engaging to the 1 in a thousand who would be right for me.  Now, you've never sent me an e-mail, so I'm probably not your target demographic, but for me, a paragraph responding to something in my profile, followed by a form letter, followed by a couple of questions is an ideal first e-mail.  Regardless, ask her something about her profile because that makes it easy to reply.  When someone says "I liked your profile" then I don't really know how to gracefully strike up a conversation, unless his profile has something engaging.

Just a few thoughts.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 11:38:21 AM   
PAsextoy4u


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline 		As I have been reading the responses, it occurred to me that once again, its the women who are called on the carpet so to speak to defend their actions, to explain once again why we dont reply to a "hi" email, to an email ordering us to our knees, to emails that are form letters, or my favorite, the emails that indicate the sender either cant read, or cant be bothered to read MY profile.  Instead, why dont we find a way to ask those morons why they send those emails to us???

If I was a man, and I got crappy replies because the women are sick and tired of stupid emails, I wouldnt keep bugging the women.  I would take a stand and confront the men, hold the men to a higher standard.  I wouldnt keep whining about all the mean girls who wont jump in my sand box and play with me LOL  Every chance I got I would challenge other MEN to be better, to treat the women better. 

Trust me, I have given alot more respect than I usually get in the HUNDREDS of messages I have gotten here on CM.   And really, what IS the proper response to a message that just says "hi"???  Give US a break, and go ask a list of questions from the MEN here on CM.   And as others suggested, go and read through about 20 MALE profiles.  Maybe then the answers will be more apparent. 

(in reply to kossack)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 7:33:33 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I didn't get the feeling he was whining about not getting responses, just clueless about what he's doing wrong.

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 7:45:06 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i do not get angry.  This is online after all.  The one sure way for me to not respond to you is send me a freakin' form letter.  i have gotten form letters (that i did not respond to) and a few weeks later get the exact same thing.  It does not anger me, they are just not worth my time for even a thank you.  It would take me longer to send a thank you than it did for the form  letter to be sent. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to LoveForTears)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 10:33:28 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveForTears
1: You get angry when someone writes you a note that doesn't meet the criteria that you didn't list? This includes age, physique, sex (M/F) or distance.


It depends, are they offering friendship or something else?? If they are offering something that is MORE than possible friendship, then I get upset because it shows a lack of respect.

quote:


2:You get angry when someone sends a form letter? I personally send one as an introduction. I usually touch it up to let someone know I read their profile. Femme subs must be outnumbered by Dom males 100 to 1 and yes we fish. Maybe that is because we get ignored 99.9 % of the time. Getting angry if the second letter is understandable if it is a form letter. I am so thrilled when I get a reply that is polite. Even a short turn down. I do understand you cannot answer all of them but the people that mention it in their profile are the same people that when they do reply say something like "hi", exactly what they complain about.


It if is a form email that has 'personal touches' to it to show that the person has actually READ my page and intgrated that into it, I never got upset, if it was a strict, cold form-email, then 'delete' and next.
 
When I was looking, if an email that showed that the person READ and was able to comprehend my profiel came, I took the time to write back, if I was buisy, I would leave a note for myself to go back adn answer properly later, but, I would send a short note along the lines of, "thank you for the email, I am buisy at the moment, I did read your email an I want to give it the approprate attention later when I am not so rushed..." something semi-form email with a few touches showing that I did read their email; then that evening or whenever, I would respond more fully.

quote:


2b: If it was the other was the other way around what would you do? Before you jump to answer, think about it. You are competing with thousands of others for the same persons attention.


I always sent out personal emails, thats who I am, I still write letters and hand write my Christmas cards every year.

quote:


3:Why are so many profiles so danged angry in general ? Is it because you think that if people write you anyway they will accept you as an angry person? (don't worry, I dont write to those profiles)


After all the bs I went through on here, with all the troll-mails and hatemail, I got jaded. I did set up another profile on here, its a different tone and when I was looking and didn't want the same bs, I used that one; it ws safer an I was less jaded with it, because I KNEW that different men would view it due to how it was written.

quote:


4: Why do I always hear about the gift of submission and never the gift of dominance? Isn't a "gift" supposed to be given unconditionally? If your answer is yes then maybe submission is something other than a "gift"


I can't say I view submission or dominance as a gift, more like an extention of who you are. Its embracing who are you inside and letting someone else close to you to view that and to experience it with you, as your other half, if that makes any sence.
 
I beleive that giving control over to another and those things that go with may be viewed as gifts to some extent.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to LoveForTears)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/12/2007 10:57:47 PM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:


1: You get angry when someone writes you a note that doesn't meet the criteria that you didn't list? This includes age, physique, sex (M/F) or distance


I don't get angry, as I don't list criteria to begin with, so why would I get angry at something I did to myself? Pointless waste of energy.

quote:

2:You get angry when someone sends a form letter? I personally send one as an introduction. I usually touch it up to let someone know I read their profile. Femme subs must be outnumbered by Dom males 100 to 1 and yes we fish. Maybe that is because we get ignored 99.9 % of the time. Getting angry if the second letter is understandable if it is a form letter. I am so thrilled when I get a reply that is polite. Even a short turn down. I do understand you cannot answer all of them but the people that mention it in their profile are the same people that when they do reply say something like "hi", exactly what they complain about.


Do I get angry over a form letter? No, I might become bemused when a dom or sub sends me the exact same form letter twice or more. But to be angry I'd actually have to care about the person...As others have pointed out, it's like getting angry over junk mail. It's impersonal, effortless and just sent my way because I have a mail box.

I also tend to look on it as a pitch (sorry I'm an author by trade and also an Editor in Chief). The person contacting me here on CM is pitching themselves at me, trying to catch my attention. If they put no effort into the pitch why would I be interested?



quote:

2b: If it was the other was the other way around what would you do? Before you jump to answer, think about it. You are competing with thousands of others for the same persons attention.
 

I'd read and then write something. Sorry but it's basic manners to me. Spam is annoying, why would I spam/junk mail someone when I know that the odds are the spam/junk is going to be tossed out. Defeats the object. 

quote:

3:Why are so many profiles so danged angry in general ? Is it because you think that if people write you anyway they will accept you as an angry person? (don't worry, I dont write to those profiles)

I don't have an angry profile. I have a calm, honest one that makes it clear I'm headstrong and can be a pain in the arse.

quote:

4: Why do I always hear about the gift of submission and never the gift of dominance? Isn't a "gift" supposed to be given unconditionally? If your answer is yes then maybe submission is something other than a "gift"


Hm to some submission is a gift, to other's its not. I don't view it as a gift, it's a choice. I choose to act on my emotions, the submission I may or may not feel towards a person. Or I choose not to act on it. Much like I choose to obey or not, and live with the consequences of my actions.
Gift.. no
Choice.. yes.


_____________________________

There is darkness and there is evil, never mistake the two.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/13/2007 3:50:59 AM   
kaprecia


Posts: 37
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveForTears

I will preface that I read a whole profile and journal before I send a message (or don't send lol) and keep in mind when reading , if the shoe fits.....
Why is it that:

1: You get angry when someone writes you a note that doesn't meet the criteria that you didn't list? This includes age, physique, sex (M/F) or distance.

2:You get angry when someone sends a form letter? I personally send one as an introduction. I usually touch it up to let someone know I read their profile. Femme subs must be outnumbered by Dom males 100 to 1 and yes we fish. Maybe that is because we get ignored 99.9 % of the time. Getting angry if the second letter is understandable if it is a form letter. I am so thrilled when I get a reply that is polite. Even a short turn down. I do understand you cannot answer all of them but the people that mention it in their profile are the same people that when they do reply say something like "hi", exactly what they complain about.

2b: If it was the other was the other way around what would you do? Before you jump to answer, think about it. You are competing with thousands of others for the same persons attention.

3:Why are so many profiles so danged angry in general ? Is it because you think that if people write you anyway they will accept you as an angry person? (don't worry, I dont write to those profiles)

4: Why do I always hear about the gift of submission and never the gift of dominance? Isn't a "gift" supposed to be given unconditionally? If your answer is yes then maybe submission is something other than a "gift"

Ok, thats a good start, lay it on me ...I promise I will read all posts and have my e-mail set for notices so no hate mail necessary.



1)  That would not make me angry, unless it is something stupid like..'shaved, waxed or bushy'  lol

2)  Form letters just make me believe that the man is writing to a ton of girls and cannot bother to write a small more personal note.

2b)  I would not write a form letter so cannot answer that.

3)  If I wrote an angry profile, I would not expect a single person to write to me. Since I didn't..again no answer for this question.

4)  I don't see submission as a gift.  Never have, never will.


(in reply to LoveForTears)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/13/2007 5:18:35 AM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I just noticed myself being bitchy with 2 men.  More, I think so, than I usually am, but here's what happened.

First guy was a slave who e-mailed me 2 times wanting me to take him.  The first time I said 'submissive--not interested' and he responded with his phone number and the implication that if I didn't call him it was because I wasn't pretty.  So he got a "can you read?" and a block. 

Second guy is 15 years older than I am.  I said "usually go for men closer to my age, but chemistry is variable, here's my photo."  Now, my introductory photo is 4" by 6" with good resolution (36KB).  He e-mails me back, saying it isn't clear enough and could I send more pictures--no photo, no thank you, no nothing that implies he sees this as a two-way street or anything more than photos for one-handed surfing.  So I said, and it was cranky, but I said "a gentleman would send a photo before asking for additional ones" and I blocked him.  I've never really blocked people that weren't crazy before, but I'm trying to protect myself enough so that I can stay here till I meet the right guy.  I realized, in part because of this thread, that when I try to be all polite and gracious when people are not, I get more frustrated and less likely to stick around.  I'm hoping to be submissive with ONE guy, not a friggin doormat.

< Message edited by kossack -- 7/13/2007 5:22:32 AM >

(in reply to kaprecia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/13/2007 6:52:05 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Perhaps the anger / irritation stems from each of us being individuals. It is safe to assume that each of us has some innate sense of worth and wish to be treated as though we are important. Generalized trolling implies that "just any ol' hit on the bait will do." Treat me like I matter, get a better response.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 12:12:35 AM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		.

[/quote]

1)  That would not make me angry, unless it is something stupid like..'shaved, waxed or bushy'  lol



[/quote]

And yet another great line for a T-shirt.  I fell out of the couch laughing (literally). 

Okay I need to learn how to break the previous posts into cute little boxes.

(in reply to kaprecia)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 12:26:56 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		For some reason all the women seem to not fall for my email I've sent to every woman on collarme, which states:

"Hi. I have read your profile in length, and I like all parts of it, including the part where you put very intriguing information about yourself. I could really understand how you would feel that way because like you, I have been there before, but in the opposite way because I'm a very well known dominate man. I am known all over the planet, and elsewhere, for my great skill at doing the dominant thing, which includes that whip thing and that other long item that makes that weird warping sound when you wave it around. I even have great skill with the paddle thing, as I have won many games of Ping Pong with it. So, I know you, (fill in your name), will benefit greatly from my years and years of experience (in my 30 years of living, I have managed to build up over 50 years of experience...it's like high school these days. I got extra credit for advanced placement classes). So, I likes you. You likes me? Please check this box. ___."


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 2:14:35 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

For some reason all the women seem to not fall for my email I've sent to every woman on collarme, which states:

"Hi. I have read your profile in length, and I like all parts of it, including the part where you put very intriguing information about yourself. I could really understand how you would feel that way because like you, I have been there before, but in the opposite way because I'm a very well known dominate man. I am known all over the planet, and elsewhere, for my great skill at doing the dominant thing, which includes that whip thing and that other long item that makes that weird warping sound when you wave it around. I even have great skill with the paddle thing, as I have won many games of Ping Pong with it. So, I know you, (fill in your name), will benefit greatly from my years and years of experience (in my 30 years of living, I have managed to build up over 50 years of experience...it's like high school these days. I got extra credit for advanced placement classes). So, I likes you. You likes me? Please check this box. ___."



i'm hurt!  i didnt get the email!

*giggling*  beautifully done, littlesarbonne.....i really was giggling, the dogs came in to see what was up!

kitten, who is still stifling the gigglefit.....

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 8:31:47 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee I've been on collarme for 8 months and got my first "Kneel bitch" email from some dork in the UK. 

I sent him a response that said, "Let me know how that approach works for ya!" 

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 8:36:26 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I've had a couple of 'kneel bitch' emails here, but today I got one that was so crude it shocked me.
Yuck. Why would I want this guy to rape me??? Dang I'm glad he lives on the other side of the country!
*goes off to take a hot shower*

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Questions about my rants to f subs - 7/14/2007 7:28:24 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I've been neither angered nor irritated by emails not even the really stupid ones.  Life is too short.  By far.  But if I don't respond it ain't all that personal either.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to LoveForTears)
Profile   Post #: 36
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