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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 5:17:09 PM

DevilsVendetta

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a severe punishment i use sometimes is having a slave masterbate 2-3 times a day but he/she may not orgasm

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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 5:30:19 PM

Rascalyrabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DevilsVendetta

a severe punishment i use sometimes is having a slave masterbate 2-3 times a day but he/she may not orgasm

I like that one.

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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 8:15:03 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DevilsVendetta

a severe punishment i use sometimes is having a slave masterbate 2-3 times a day but he/she may not orgasm

The issue is, how effective is this as a punishment?

The best punishments are directly and immediately applied, and directly related to the behavior you are trying to modify.

Personally, punishments should be rare and serious. If they are not, you need to look at the situation and see if expectations are realistic and/or if you are employing the right training methods as a whole. We're adults, we should be able to learn and follow most directions with some basic training quickly. To disobey is a serious thing.

So unless they disobeyed with someone sexual, I can't see preventing orgasm from doing much other than keeping the sub feeling like crap, making them frustrated, and not helping them actually learn to do whatever they should have done right in the first place.

But then, I use punishment in the literal behavior training aspect, not the "excuse to be sadistic and do bdsm" way that a lot of people use it.

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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 9:02:32 PM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: DevilsVendetta

a severe punishment i use sometimes is having a slave masterbate 2-3 times a day but he/she may not orgasm

The issue is, how effective is this as a punishment?

The best punishments are directly and immediately applied, and directly related to the behavior you are trying to modify.

Personally, punishments should be rare and serious. If they are not, you need to look at the situation and see if expectations are realistic and/or if you are employing the right training methods as a whole. We're adults, we should be able to learn and follow most directions with some basic training quickly. To disobey is a serious thing.

So unless they disobeyed with someone sexual, I can't see preventing orgasm from doing much other than keeping the sub feeling like crap, making them frustrated, and not helping them actually learn to do whatever they should have done right in the first place.

But then, I use punishment in the literal behavior training aspect, not the "excuse to be sadistic and do bdsm" way that a lot of people use it.

======================================

it still escapes me logically. i try so hard to grasp this stuff psychologically. it just makes no sense to me.

< Message edited by asissyforher -- 6/21/2005 9:03:10 PM >

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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 11:18:49 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: asissyforher

and why do you find it so hard to believe? for one thing, i am allowed, at that time, to set my own pace and schedule. two==i have a pocket notebook and i know everyday what i am doing...
now why is that is SO hard? if "I" can do it,..why can't anyone else?
and i am proud that i have a perfect record. i am 51 not 15.
as "I" see it............only children need punishing. an adult should have no problems keeping things done.
"I" never have.

I find this quite insulting. Yup, I schedule and I plan. I aslo still forget things. Yup, I know what I'm doing every day. I'm also going to school full time and working full time in addition to keeping a house including feeding and clothing that house. Things sometimes slip through the cracks.

Too, when we began I was learning to live my life in an entirely different manner.

Still, I can count on both hands the times I've been punished, however, to imply that someone who needs punishment is childish bothers me. I agree with Emerald that real punishment should be rare, or there's a problem there. However, stating that someone who needs punishment is less than someone who doesn't upsets me. Perhaps we're newer to our relationships? Perhaps we've been given an instruction that runs very counter to our normal behavior and it is taking time to adapt to it.

Perhaps I see certain types of training as punishments, more than others do. I don't really do "training" so discipline intended to teach is called "punishment" in my book, becasue training just isn't something we do. For example, if I made for dinner something my partner didn't like, he told me he didnt' like it, and then I forgot and made it again weeks later, there would be consequences. I would call those consequences punishment. Some might call them training.

As I see it, things that are designed to correct behavior are punishments. Soem are much more serious than others. I mean, making a dinner he didn't like twice is no big deal. I would feel bad about it, and the punishment would make me remember not to do it again. However, I wouldnt' say something like that would require a rethinking of our expectations. However, if I refused to do what he said, or went out and had sex with someone else, the punishment would be dire, and there should be some serious discussion happening there.

So, maybe what I call punishment, someone else would call training. ~shrug~

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RE: Punishments - 6/21/2005 11:23:48 PM

Rascalyrabbit

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To each, his own I guess.

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 4:38:56 AM

Synocense

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I once had to write a 5000 word essay...count them, f-i-v-e t-h-o-u-s-a-n-d. I don't remember the topic as this was several years ago, but I do remember 5000!

Syn

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 5:34:05 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

As I see it, things that are designed to correct behavior are punishments.

Well rewards are designed to correct and enhance behavior as well, as well as many other methods other than just punishment.

This is why my view of all of this is based on behavioral modification- that's what we're trying to accomplish, changes in the behavior of the submissive.

However you do that, training, discipline, teaching, punishment, rewards (which oddly enough is the exact concept as punishment in reverse and no one ever complains that as adults we shouldn't need rewards), repetition, delay of pleasure, whatever....you're trying to get to your goal of behavioral change.

Punishments that have nothing to do with the behavior you are trying to change are going to be less effective.

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 6:38:55 AM

shyguyuk

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well ive never been in a total d/s realthionship but i was subbmissive to my ex girlfriend, anyhow i played an april fools joke on her by putting some giant panties in her knicker draw and i mean HUGE lol

that night i awoke to her tying me to the bed and then her ass hugged in the huge panties settling on my face..i dont want to say too much but takeaways+my girlfriend were very unpleasent to ones nose ><

< Message edited by shyguyuk -- 6/22/2005 6:47:09 AM >

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 12:46:05 PM

perverseangelic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Well rewards are designed to correct and enhance behavior as well, as well as many other methods other than just punishment.

This is why my view of all of this is based on behavioral modification- that's what we're trying to accomplish, changes in the behavior of the submissive.

However you do that, training, discipline, teaching, punishment, rewards (which oddly enough is the exact concept as punishment in reverse and no one ever complains that as adults we shouldn't need rewards), repetition, delay of pleasure, whatever....you're trying to get to your goal of behavioral change.

Punishments that have nothing to do with the behavior you are trying to change are going to be less effective.

Yeah, I wasnt' spesific enough. I shoudl have said "negative consequences designed to modify behavior"

I'm having a hard time speaking concisely about this one, for some reason. Punishment, as such, isn't a huge part of my dynamic, but behavior modification is. I don't know that I've quite nailed down where one differs fromt he other.

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 12:54:04 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
Punishment, as such, isn't a huge part of my dynamic, but behavior modification is. I don't know that I've quite nailed down where one differs fromt he other.

I see it as punishment is one of many types of "behavior modification." It's under the overall umbrella.

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 1:28:11 PM

sudja

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"silent treatment" falls under the category of emotional abuse.

sudja

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 1:29:21 PM

sudja

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Interestingly enough, when I forget something my Mistress says, "Nobody is perfect."

I am much harder on myself than She would ever be.

sudja

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 2:10:18 PM

sudja

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quote:

however, to imply that someone who needs punishment is childish bothers me.

I don't see it so much as childish, but setting up a Parent/child relationship, which is not what I have with my Mistress. We are two adults, with/using a relationship dynamic that works for us.

sudja

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 2:10:56 PM

sudja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense

I once had to write a 5000 word essay...count them, f-i-v-e t-h-o-u-s-a-n-d. I don't remember the topic as this was several years ago, but I do remember 5000!

Syn

LOL! I've been known to whip out 6,000 words or so just for fun. ;)

sudja

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 2:39:00 PM

Synocense

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I know who i'll be sending my next essay task to. *grins*

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RE: Punishments - 6/22/2005 4:14:49 PM

sudja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense

I know who i'll be sending my next essay task to. *grins*

LOL! :)

Bring it on! ;)

sudja

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RE: Punishments - 6/24/2005 5:59:09 AM

zephyresque

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Like many others, the worst one for me was being ignored. I was always told what I'd done and how long I was being punished for, I was never just abandoned, but it was absolutely dreadful. Ugh.

I've also received correction for a not-so-great attitude by spanking and lemme tell you, a punishment spanking differs greatly from an erotic one.

I'm not down with punishment, I generally try and keep my nose clean *lol*

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RE: Punishments - 6/24/2005 8:37:36 AM

RiotGirl

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punishment.................. ugh

upseting him and pissing him off. Him getting up and walking away from me.

THAT CANE. Variety of things. Speaking wrongly and having my tongue bitten.

being spanked.

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RE: Punishments - 6/25/2005 7:20:39 PM

Niran

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I have to really screw up to get "severely punished", but that means sleeping next to my mistress clothed while shes naked and moaning from her vibrator and I can't touch her. Or I can't brush her hair, shave her legs and pubses, have evening tea, do her toes, take a shower with her (my mistress is also my wife) or any number of things I get to do if I'm good and she lets me. Puishment should not be painful (whipping, beating, or whatever), puishment should be the desired wants/rewards of the sub when he/she is good, being taken away. Take away what they want, and we can learn quick.

Pet E - sub of Mistress M aka Niran

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