ElanSubdued
Posts: 1511
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quote:
cloudboy: I know this kind of makes me sound like some sort of feminist in reverse, but I just found the OP's view of men and many of the views that followed to be demeaning of men. (snip) The undercurrent is that sub men, for the most part, aren't "real men," rather we're just a bunch of lustful, fantasy-driven, blokes ripe for manipulation, exploitation, and detached FEMDOM control. But wait, I just met one guy who doesn't fit that mold... and... Anyway, glad to see you fell in love. Obviously love entails a great deal more that BDSM games and fantasy plays. The great question the OP seems to be asking, which is something we all ask, is "is this something." Whatever you do, don't lose that "something" in a fog of D/S expectations, projections, and malesub stereotypes. As a sincere, submissive male seeking a mutually loving, long-term relationship with a dominant woman, I found this thread similarly demeaning and disheartening for the same reasons coudboy illuminated. Still, just as cloudboy did, I cast these thoughts aside for what I believe to be more important (which in this case is helping the OP enjoy her newfound romance). One of the reasons I've avoided professional dommes is that as soon as money gets involved, I become a client. When the work day is done, nobody wants to spend their relaxation and/or intimate, romantic time with their clients. I suppose the OP is an unusual exception. I wonder how many professional dommes end up dating a client? My understanding (as a few professional alluded above) is that the general rule is "hands off" - no romance and no sex. Clients remain clients. This makes sense because if one starts dating clients, the business interests tend to get overlooked. If I can be so bold and blunt, the ultimate goal of a business is to remain solvent and to make money. Romance doesn't typically enter this equation and may well be a detriment to the business goals. Consequently, as soon as I find out someone is a professional domme, I tend to immediately rule out romance, even if I'm not her client. It just feels too easy to get lumped in with the other boys who are clients. This is a shame because I'm sure there are some rather lovely professionals who would be great fun to romance and would make wonderful romantic partners. But hey, like professionals, I have my rules too. I won't give my time to someone who doesn't make me a priority. It's pretty hard for me to be a priority when there are hundreds of others ushering in who also want to be that same "priority". To use a business analogy, why introduce yourself in a crowded market when you can enter elsewhere with greater chance of success? Thus, I prefer to date women who are not (or who are no longer) BDSM professionals. Having said all of this, I do tend to believe in the axiom "never say never". For all I know, a few years from now I'll be the loving partner of a professional domme while helping her run the business. My business and computer skills would certainly be rather useful in this context. ElanSubdued.
< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 7/17/2007 4:20:37 PM >
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