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Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 6:09:10 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings to one and A/all:

I am curious to see how you all deal with stress as it effects your individual lives and your BDSM relationship.
For example:  I have a slave, and I have been over to his home this weekend, and I do not want to do anything lifestyle related.  This has happened to me before when  I am tired or under a lot of stress.
He is very understanding, and notices that I am just plain tired and need to go home and rest.
How do you all handle stress in your relationship?

Regards, MissSCD
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 6:15:53 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone responds to stress differently, and has different ways of achieving stress relief.  What works for me is excersize; both physical exercise and the exercise of my control in a relationship in ways that are particularly rewarding to me personally. 
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 6:19:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Angel and I battle stress in one form or another every time we are together.  For him, he likes to fall completely into his "character" and forget all about being an adult for a while. For me, every now and again, I dont want to be in charge and making decisions, I just want to relax and have fun playing a game, or even watching a movie or snuggling.  The thing is, I am always Mommy, and he is always Angel. No matter what we go through, and if one or the other cant get into or stay in our respective space... there is always another day.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Rover)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 6:23:40 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have found ripping someones head off and shitting down their neck is a good stress reliever...LMAO......sorry, just kidding...although i may FEEL like doing that....i normally just cry...LOL

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 6:44:34 PM   
zindyslave


Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		That might be a difficult one to answer but I try to decompress when I get like that either by just talking about what is stressing me out or if it is really bad I will write about it and get my feelings out. Now if the stress has built up really bad I will usually end up crying...but that is when it gets built up over a period of time.. 

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http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 7:10:21 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think it is altogether healthy to play 'through' stress in order to relieve it.  I used to have a particular job where I would build up a lot of stress just doing the job.  What I 'really' wanted was to 'take' a good beating.  However, being the dominant in the relationship, all I could do was to 'give' a good beating.  Almost the same, right?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 7:16:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Luckily my life isn't defined by what I do.  A person is still a master/slave couple even if they stay on the couch all day in their jammies watching tv and reading the paper.

I think people feel problems only when they try and make it about what they DO, and when life inevitably interferes, they feel lost.

Make your relationship about who you ARE together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/14/2007 11:37:02 PM   
Lewcifer


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Luckily my life isn't defined by what I do.  A person is still a master/slave couple even if they stay on the couch all day in their jammies watching tv and reading the paper.  I think people feel problems only when they try and make it about what they DO, and when life inevitably interferes, they feel lost.  Make your relationship about who you ARE together.


Bingo!  I think this hit the nail on the head.



_____________________________

I am fortunate... My wife is also My friend, lover and slave.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 7:23:29 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		These answers are all good.  I appreciate your input.
I went to sleep earlier last night and just woke up.  I feel a lot more rested.
I am not a spring chicken anymore.   I cannot run around all weekend without resting.  I think that is all it was.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Lewcifer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 12:31:29 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i suppose i'm really lucky because when i'm stressed out, there's nothing better than a good beat and fuck session to mellow me right out, and since i couple up with sadists in my relationships, when they're stressed, they just need to beat and fuck me to mellow right out

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 1:32:20 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello MissSCD. I work in a stressfull environment. Most of the time I do not bring this home, but there has been "exceptions". I find keeping yourself occupied with stuff you enjoy + humor inviting attitude does the job.

When you have humor in your life, it is like building  up your antistress immunology. RL.

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 3:22:05 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		When I am too stressed out I have said I need to take a break from domination. My sub was understanding and spent time with me just hanging out, without any elaborate scening, training, or D/s dynamics.

With M, when he's stressed out the D/s protocols slip, but I tend to be more attentive submissively and indulge him with massages, foot rubs, scrubbing him in the shower, etc.

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 6:00:15 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Stress.  Wow, I could say a thing or two about stress, lol.  This entire past year has been one major life stress after another.  How I deal with stress, however, is to simply deal with it.  Each issue in its place, to be addressed when appropriate.  My Master taught me to deal with stress first by not tolerating the dramatics I used to apply to it. I have been taught to calmly and logically take a look at what is troubling me and why, and to either figure out a solution to it, to ask him for help, or to figure out a way of coping if no solution can currently be found.  I turn to him in times of stress just as I turn to him in times of peace and normalcy.  Because submitting to him as deeply as I can is being as true as I can to myself, I can not fathom not doing that, during those times when I need him the most. I can attest that having just spent a long weekend out of town with him and fulfilling his every whim while on the heels of some rather distressful news, I can think of nothing that would bring me to my center the way serving him did.

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! - 7/15/2007 7:08:10 PM   
aparootsa


Posts: 49
Joined: 5/2/2007
Status: offline 		My relationships tend not to be defined by or anchored around D/s, so stress isn't usually handled strictly in a D/s setting. As far as stress's impact (heh heh) on our D/s interaction, it really depends on what type of stress. If one of us is low on sleep or sick or that type of thing, it's usually handled with TLC, extra rest, cuddles, etc.; if it's not an energy or judgement-draining thing, it usually has no bearing - we play when we play, and a lot of times it's cathartic. Either way, we generally respond to stress by being us, only more so...

best,
aparotosa

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 14
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