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RE: Bullies - 7/17/2007 3:17:33 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

In a household with two children... there shouldn't be that much descrepency.

its not whining...
i'm attempting to discover a way to cope with this that isn't

"move out"

because its not an option for me right now...

there shouldnt, true.

but life isnt fair. i took beatings for my brother's misbehavior up till a month before i moved out....because i was getting married. he stole two cars, flipped one, ran a third car till the engine BLEW UP, ran away from college, etc etc etc and he never was held accountable.

shit happens. you got dealt a bad hand as far as parents go, and that sucks, it really does. you have two choices, as have been laid out pretty clearly....suck it up, or get out. NEITHER choice is fun or easy. BOTH choices will involve some pain for you.

i told one therapist "you can pick your friends, but your'e stuck with your relatives"... and ended up proving myself wrong on THAT one too, when i chose to be my own person, live my own life, and make myself happy. YOU have that choice too.

its up to you to take it.

kitten, who gave her own daughter the SAME EXACT TALK when she was contemplating tossing the now ex-fiance out on his ear.

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Post #: 101

RE: Bullies - 7/17/2007 4:40:26 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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You have mentioned a lot of things that you do not like ... no support from your parents, your brother gets treated better than you and a few other things ... have you thought about working out what it is that you do want and what would feel acceptable to you?

You mention wanting more support. What does this mean in reality? Do you want someone who agrees that you are being treated unfairly? What if no one ever gives you exactly what you are asking for? Focus on the changes that you can make eg. changing how you react to these repeated situations rather than the more unrealistic and possibly unachievable hope that others will change.

You mentioned that your mum wakes you up half an hour before your alarm goes in the mornings... could you sit down and discuss this with her...the night before you go to bed let her know that you have set your alarm for 8am and to please not wake you before this...or a more general discussion... mum I understand that you are being helpful by waking me in the mornings however I feel that it is important that I take responsibility for waking up and getting to appointments on time.

the curfew - have you asked why they have set this? Are they worried when you go out? Are they unable to sleep till you are home? Could you give them an approximate time that you will be home and ring them if you are late?

Brother being treated differently to you... have you discussed this in a calm, non-blaming way with them? Is he much older than you? Do they treat him differently because he is there for a visit as opposed to living with them?

Your brother eating your food – politely ask him to not eat food that is labelled with your name on it. If he continues to do so as much as it sucks it may be one of the smaller battles to let go of.

The questions I have asked are simply a guide of things for you to think about, not to answer on here.

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Post #: 102

RE: Bullies - 7/17/2007 12:30:07 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
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thanks for everyone's help with this issue... i actually received the advice i needed from my slave, when i sat down with him to talk this out... strange how things work. i'm glad to know that the majority of those who post are willing to help someone with things going on in their lives, in a mature, kind manner.

thank you all very much.

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Post #: 103

RE: Bullies - 7/17/2007 12:55:08 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
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Coping ...

If you took every person in the entire world, and put them side by side, starting with the most well off, and ending with least ... right in the middle, would be the average person.

The average person lives in a third world nation, and is basically a farming serf. They were born to serf parents, one of nine children, seven of which died within their first year. The average person will live their entire life on a dirt floor ... have children on a dirt floor, most of which will die in the first year. The average person will never watch television and has no idea what a computer is. Their teeth will fall out before they are fourty, if they happen to live that long. The average person will only have meat to eat, when a farm animal dies ... a mixed "blessing" to be sure.

If you have it better than the average person, you can probably manage to cope.

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Post #: 104

RE: Bullies - 7/18/2007 4:35:52 PM

thompsonx

Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.

A cardboard box??? Luxury!!! We used to dream of living in a cardboard box!!

Arpig:
At least you had a dream...we were so poor we couldn't even afford a mom...the lady down the street came over twice a week....We were so poor that we could not even afford water, we would go down to the stream bed and beat our faces on the rocks just to wash up in the morning.
thompson

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Post #: 105

RE: Bullies - 7/18/2007 4:39:38 PM

thompsonx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Coping ...

If you took every person in the entire world, and put them side by side, starting with the most well off, and ending with least ... right in the middle, would be the average person.

The average person lives in a third world nation, and is basically a farming serf. They were born to serf parents, one of nine children, seven of which died within their first year. The average person will live their entire life on a dirt floor ... have children on a dirt floor, most of which will die in the first year. The average person will never watch television and has no idea what a computer is. Their teeth will fall out before they are fourty, if they happen to live that long. The average person will only have meat to eat, when a farm animal dies ... a mixed "blessing" to be sure.

If you have it better than the average person, you can probably manage to cope.

caitlyn:
That may be true but they are used to that crap I am not.
thompson

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Post #: 106

RE: Bullies - 7/18/2007 5:39:00 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

Didn't read all the replies.

You could always be a sex slave or a prostitute, and be free of that horrible situation.

Much better in my opinion.

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Post #: 107

RE: Bullies - 7/18/2007 9:36:09 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

thanks for everyone's help with this issue... i actually received the advice i needed from my slave, when i sat down with him to talk this out... strange how things work. i'm glad to know that the majority of those who post are willing to help someone with things going on in their lives, in a mature, kind manner.

thank you all very much.

You can't manage to become an independent adult yet.....but you have a slave???

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When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

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Post #: 108

RE: Bullies - 7/18/2007 9:47:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Yeah I didn't follow that logic either.

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Post #: 109

RE: Bullies - 7/19/2007 12:58:55 AM

Jacobthm

Posts: 237
Joined: 7/9/2007
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One of the earlier posters, (yes I'm too lazy to scroll up) suggested standing up to your parents. That may or may not be a good idea. In cases where parents have such an authoritarian rule anytime the pecking order is disrupted violence may arise. However that may aid you. If you're fucked enough in the head you could precipitate a confrontation with your parents, goad say your dad into hitting you and then run to child protective services like hell. Then guilt trip him and/or threaten to press charges. If you're over 18 then what everyone else said. Work your ass off, deal as best you can and get the hell out. It is kids in your situation that do find themselves as lunch for the local sexual predators, so be cautious of any generous strangers.

By the way this is only speculation.

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RE: Bullies - 7/20/2007 10:30:05 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

You can't manage to become an independent adult yet.....but you have a slave???

I concur....splain that to me if you can

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Post #: 111