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When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 3:57:42 PM   
clem831


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		This is the general idea: I had already planned a trip to Philly (which is almost 5 hours away) with a friend and her family to go to a museum to see a specific exhibit. I've been talking with a man that lives about an hour from Philly and he finally asked me if we could meet up for lunch or something. Well, saturday is the only day we can make work, but that's museum day. I told him we could meet after the exhibit is over, but he insisted that he meet me at the museum and therefore with my friend and her family. I told him I'd rather not do this because it will put more stress on an already stressful situation. But he continued to insist and stated that he didn't mind meeting my friend and her family and wanted to see the exhibit anyway. I like that he's social, but I still wish we could have met afterwards, seeing as going to the museum with my friend was the entire reason for being in Philly anyway. He also stated that he felt like he was a hunchback that I didn't want to be seen with, or that I was being secretive. I explained that he had no reason to feel either of those things simply because I find him very attractive and my friend and her family already know that we were planning on meeting. It's just that I'm more comfortable meeting someone one on one before getting into more social situations. Just wondered if that would send up red flags for anyone. Thanks.
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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:02:53 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Well honestly? YES.  I wouldn't expose my own children to a stranger, which is what he is to you at this point, much less someone else's. To me it is more than a bit presumptuous to assume the friend and family would want some guy they don't know hanging around with them. He may be super nice and maybe you can do something together in the future, but why the demand to rush it?

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:03:15 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe not red flags per se but you certainly should compromise if you can't agree to where and when to meet then there's nothing to see here, move along, move along :)
Good luck.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:06:02 PM   
countrygirl69


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline 		maybe I am reading this wrong but maybe he thinks it would be more compfortable with others around ,that you would feel safer ,and if they know about him already maybe you could meet him towards the end of the trip and them if you feel ok with things you go from there?

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:06:08 PM   
clem831


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Oh wait, there are no children involved. By family, I meant my friend, her mom, aunt and cousin. Sorry, didn't mean to cause a misunderstanding, but I agree with you just the same. I asked my friend if she thought anyone would mind, she said no, but I still don't think it's polite of me, being the outsider of the group, to bring another outsider in, especially a stranger.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:08:28 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		It's really creepy.....This guy is probably a complete turd.  I'm very selective as to who meets my friends.....No fucking way....But  I think you already new that.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:08:38 PM   
clem831


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Countrygirl, I had the same thoughts. Thats why I'm having trouble deciding whether the situation should send up a red flag and make me completely reconsider the plan.
Edited due to the fact that my fingers and my brain are having connection issues.

< Message edited by clem831 -- 7/18/2007 4:09:52 PM >

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:12:43 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah...Like I said it's really really reallly creepy....What if you can't stand the guy?  Now he knows not only everything about you but of your family as well.

Does your family know you met off of this site and of your lifestyle?   Well if this guy is just a tad bit psycho they soon will.

You have already shown incredibly poor judgement even to allow him to know where you are going....What if he chooses to just show up?...Couldn't he identify you from your pic?



< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/18/2007 4:13:22 PM >

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:14:30 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: countrygirl69

maybe I am reading this wrong but maybe he thinks it would be more compfortable with others around ,that you would feel safer ,and if they know about him already maybe you could meet him towards the end of the trip and them if you feel ok with things you go from there?


You don't meet someone with your family...Are you people nuts?

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:15:24 PM   
heartofakajira


Posts: 139
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		domiguy....it's KNEW...not "new"....geeeesh...people are lacking in correct grammar these days

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:16:53 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The fact is you are feeling pressured by someone you haven't even met yet. Your plan to meet after the museum exhibit seems like a good plan. The fact that he is being so pushy already is a bad sign. How pushy will he be when he feels more comfortable with you? Think about it.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:20:58 PM   
clem831


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, once someone starts being rude, I give up on the discussion. Thanks everyone for your input, domiguy, thanks a bunch for ruining this advice thread for me.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:21:26 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartofakajira

domiguy....it's KNEW...not "new"....geeeesh...people are lacking in correct grammar these days


I make errors like such to show the masses...That I am still human....I think the bigger picture here Gorean...Is that everyone, but I, is approaching this with blinders on....I guess only time will tell if I am write.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:22:42 PM   
wwwmmm


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		aim love you
you are very nice and very sweets
odd me  [email protected]
thanks

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:23:43 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: clem831

Okay, once someone starts being rude, I give up on the discussion. Thanks everyone for your input, domiguy, thanks a bunch for ruining this advice thread for me.


I didn't ruin it....I gave you the only advice that you should be taking....Does your family know about your bdsm affiliation? 

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:23:46 PM   
wwwmmm


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		aim love you
you are very nice and very sweets
odd me  [email protected]
thanks

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:24:20 PM   
heartofakajira


Posts: 139
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		domiguy--

riiiiiiiiight....lol

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:24:26 PM   
simplyme2007


Posts: 174
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline 		Years ago I also made the mistake of telling a stranger where I was staying in Vegas. He was an older guy I thought was harmless.  I was standing in the hotel lobby with my family, turned around and there he was, oxygen tank and all!   Our eyes met, but he didn’t say anything.  Later on I had lunch with my family, and I saw him hiding behind a plant watching us.  It was VERY creepy.   I hope he’s a decent guy and doesn’t intrude on your outing with your family.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:24:50 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		Tell him you want to meet him afterwards, period. Your time with your friend is time with your friend.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:26:32 PM   
clem831


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Look, I'm not taking anyone's advice at the moment, I just wanted some input. There is no need to be rude or call names.

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