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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:26:51 PM   
fadedlace


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From: Louisiana
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When making plans to meet someone, yes, please do make sure it's in public...but if it were me, I'd have said, "I have plans with old friends and family and can meet you for coffee after X o'clock."  Had he pushed, I'd have said, "It would have been nice to meet you - perhaps another time."

Trying to get to know him at a first meeting at the same time as you try to hold conversations and visit with your friend and her family is a no-win situation.  Someone will feel put-off and uncomfortable.  People are like that...

Hope you can make a go of it...

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:28:38 PM   
clem831


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Again, thanks everyone.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:34:58 PM   
domiguy


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Please don't take my advice....Meet him with your family...And when your family gets contacted by this pud don't act surprised.  When your family asks you what CM is and if you are on it...Just fess up. When he gives them intimate details of your conversations just laugh and say all the kids are doing it these days.

All you have to do is read through these forums and listen to the horror stories that people have experienced....You might be okay....By why set yourself up for disaster?

Use better judgment in the future.


p.s. Sorry Gorean.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 4:40:41 PM   
julietsierra


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Edited to add that I'm speaking to the OP (sorry obis - it appears I'm directing this to you and I'm not.)

Ok... Hypothetical situation time:

You decide that suuuure, he probably just wants to meet you while you're around people to whom you are a guest yourself to have you feel more "comfortable." He comes to the museum and begins to accompany you. Along the way, he starts talking about D/s or bdsm issues; begins asking you what kinds of sexual and SM things you like. Just how are you going to handle this NOW? What kind of impression are you giving the people with whom you are staying? And if you're uncomfortable, just how much of a guarantee do you have that you can stop him from doing what you're now uncomfortable about? And if he does NOT work out, HOW do you get rid of him without causing an embarrassment to you, your hosts and others that may be involved?

ROFL.. And I just read your darn profile! Does THIS sound familiar? " I like D/s to stay behind closed doors and enjoy an outwardly vanilla relationship." I'll say it twice so that you remember what YOU wrote. "I like D/s to stay behind closed doors and enjoy an outwardly vanilla relationship. "  So, I have to ask, just what the HELL are you actually considering?! Or are you really even thinking?

Just because domiguy doesn't couch his advice in the nice fluffy "what ifs" out there doesn't make him wrong, and if you're basing the decision to meet someone you don't know with friends and family around on whether he spelled the word "knew" as "knew" or "new", just where the heck is your head?

I'm not trying to be impolite or all that other crap you're accusing him of, but damn it all! Don't you think that at SOME point, questions that simply reek of common sense answers should be pointed out as questions that simply reek of common sense answers?

You want to meet this guy? Meet him on your own time. You've made a committment to these friends of yours. They may very well have been going to go to the museum to see the King Tut exhibit (whoops? Was no one supposed to know this?! - see how easy it is?) Then again, they may not. Regardless, they are making time to spend with YOU and now you're using them just so you can meet someone that may or may not be available to beat your ass? Is that the level that you put your friends on? That, in order of importance, they come right after the stranger that might fuck you?

Safety, concern for the people that will be accompanying you, care that THEY are not exposed to things, ideas and situations for which they are not aware they are consenting, and if not those, then for god's sake, some simple MANNERS, dictates that you meet someone to get your rocks off on your own time. Don't waste the time, courtesy and welcome of your friends for that for crying out loud!!

But hey, since you've already said that straight talk is going to cause you to not bother to read your own thread anymore, guess like anyone who is saying things you don't want to hear, it's kinda like pissing in the wind.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/18/2007 4:56:18 PM >

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:00:14 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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From: Charleston, WV
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If he will not meet you on your own terms, what kind of trust does that build? You are not asking for something unsafe by meeting him one on one, so there is no real reason why he should insist. Go with your gut.

Master Fire


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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:18:46 PM   
Aileen68


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There was once a beautiful princess who decided to meet her Prince Charming while skipping through the meadow with her fair maidens.  He showed up right on time all mannerly and all until he went fucking ballistic and freaked her and her fair maidens out by his underlying creepiness that unfortunately didn't remain underlying for far too long.  Can you only imagine how fast word spread through the phone lines and email about your lack of judgement.  End of the fairy tale. 
Use your head.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:22:09 PM   
Aileen68


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Oh and domiguy's advice is spot on.  He should know because he is creepy himself.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:27:13 PM   
bandit25


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Part of his charm.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:35:06 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
(btw, the exhibit in question is really cool)

Friends and family don't mix with a first meet with a potential kinky partner, especially if you're an out of town guest of those friends/family.  Find another time to meet.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 7/18/2007 5:37:07 PM >


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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:39:22 PM   
domiguy


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I have creeped out more women off of this site then all of the creeps combined....I have learned first hand from these subs out here the methods that have worked to derail me from forcing my creepiness on them.....So now I'm just passing on what has been used to thwart my methods.

I'm a fucking hero!!!....like the criminal who now assists the cops to catch other masterminds of crime.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:42:00 PM   
bandit25


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You ARE a fuckin hero!  Hey!  Maybe you could franchise your creepiness...sell it to some of the other sites.  Domiguy...I think we have that million dollar idea going.

ps  What happened to your domly exclamation points?

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:45:42 PM   
julietsierra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I have creeped out more women off of this site then all of the creeps combined....I have learned first hand from these subs out here the methods that have worked to derail me from forcing my creepiness on them.....So now I'm just passing on what has been used to thwart my methods.

I'm a fucking hero!!!....like the criminal who now assists the cops to catch other masterminds of crime.


a genius by any other name.

juliet

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:48:11 PM   
octavia


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Joined: 5/20/2007
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personally I don't go on a first date, any kind of first date, with an entourage.  (Thanks for the spelling lesson Bandit. )  I think your wanting to keep the two seperate shows taste and class.  Go with your gut girl.

oct

< Message edited by octavia -- 7/18/2007 5:50:15 PM >

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:48:37 PM   
KatyLied


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Too funny........domi got grammar flamed by a kajira!




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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 5:48:53 PM   
bandit25


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Entourage

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RE: hello - 7/18/2007 5:57:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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The fact that this guy was so pushy and not understanding would really just cross him off my list right away- nothing else is relevant.

That being said, your priority as a good guest is to stay with your friends and go with them on the trip you've planned together. 

As adults, chalk it up to timing not working out, life throwing you an easy curve ball which the other person failed horribly to deal with maturely and thus save you lots of time and energy- and there's always another chance.  No reason independent mature stable adults can't make plans to conquer a 5 hour distance gap within two months if you want to.

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RE: hello - 7/18/2007 6:03:42 PM   
KatyLied


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I think he *is* domiguy! hehe


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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 6:09:25 PM   
domiguy


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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Too funny........domi got grammar flamed by a kajira!





Damn kajiras,  Shouldn't they be busy tidying up their homestones?  Whatever that means.

No...It's not me chiming in....However, of late I've seemed to have acquired a few online stalkers....I don't think everyone out here appreciates my level of creepiness.

My only other profile is brownsuggasub69.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/18/2007 6:10:01 PM >


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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 6:12:15 PM   
Aileen68


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ok...I promise not to stalk you for at least a day.  You domicreep you.

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RE: When making plans to meet someone... - 7/18/2007 6:14:02 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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You'll never keep to your word on that...lol

juliet

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Profile   Post #: 40
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