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julietsierra -> RE: When making plans to meet someone... (7/18/2007 4:40:41 PM)
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Edited to add that I'm speaking to the OP (sorry obis - it appears I'm directing this to you and I'm not.)
Ok... Hypothetical situation time:
You decide that suuuure, he probably just wants to meet you while you're around people to whom you are a guest yourself to have you feel more "comfortable." He comes to the museum and begins to accompany you. Along the way, he starts talking about D/s or bdsm issues; begins asking you what kinds of sexual and SM things you like. Just how are you going to handle this NOW? What kind of impression are you giving the people with whom you are staying? And if you're uncomfortable, just how much of a guarantee do you have that you can stop him from doing what you're now uncomfortable about? And if he does NOT work out, HOW do you get rid of him without causing an embarrassment to you, your hosts and others that may be involved?
ROFL.. And I just read your darn profile! Does THIS sound familiar? " I like D/s to stay behind closed doors and enjoy an outwardly vanilla relationship." I'll say it twice so that you remember what YOU wrote. "I like D/s to stay behind closed doors and enjoy an outwardly vanilla relationship. " So, I have to ask, just what the HELL are you actually considering?! Or are you really even thinking?
Just because domiguy doesn't couch his advice in the nice fluffy "what ifs" out there doesn't make him wrong, and if you're basing the decision to meet someone you don't know with friends and family around on whether he spelled the word "knew" as "knew" or "new", just where the heck is your head?
I'm not trying to be impolite or all that other crap you're accusing him of, but damn it all! Don't you think that at SOME point, questions that simply reek of common sense answers should be pointed out as questions that simply reek of common sense answers?
You want to meet this guy? Meet him on your own time. You've made a committment to these friends of yours. They may very well have been going to go to the museum to see the King Tut exhibit (whoops? Was no one supposed to know this?! - see how easy it is?) Then again, they may not. Regardless, they are making time to spend with YOU and now you're using them just so you can meet someone that may or may not be available to beat your ass? Is that the level that you put your friends on? That, in order of importance, they come right after the stranger that might fuck you?
Safety, concern for the people that will be accompanying you, care that THEY are not exposed to things, ideas and situations for which they are not aware they are consenting, and if not those, then for god's sake, some simple MANNERS, dictates that you meet someone to get your rocks off on your own time. Don't waste the time, courtesy and welcome of your friends for that for crying out loud!!
But hey, since you've already said that straight talk is going to cause you to not bother to read your own thread anymore, guess like anyone who is saying things you don't want to hear, it's kinda like pissing in the wind.
juliet
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