Najakcharmer -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:57:38 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Raiden how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant? Socially, in the BDSM scene, nobody minds and everybody will be glad to help accommodate you. On a personal relationship basis, that totally varies with the individual and isn't any different than if you're talking about a potential vanilla relationship. Some people are fine with a handicapped partner, others are not. My subbie's handicap (mild cerebal palsy) was really not a factor one way or another in developing our relationship. It's annoying at times that I have to do all the lifting and carrying, but only mildly as I make a point of staying fit and I can't complain too much about extra exercise opportunities. Carrying all the heavy stuff is certainly not a make or break issue for me. Now if he had been more severely handicapped to the point that he couldn't drive with hand controls, or do any work, or needed full time care and was not basically a functional, independent, self supporting adult, those probably would have been deal breakers right up front. Maybe I'm a shallow person, but I don't think I could start dating or playing with someone if I had to lift them onto the potty and wipe their ass for them, or otherwise be their primary caregiver. That would definitely be a hard limit. I also wouldn't be likely to pursue a serious relationship with someone who could not drive or who did not maintain a vehicle of some sort, since I hate driving and flat out refuse to do 100% of it in a relationship. YMMV.
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