RE: Is this acceptable? (Full Version)

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sirguym -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/21/2008 12:18:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mystique567
BTW he calls it his portable throne.


I love that!

I find my ponies, being generally 'service orientated submissives' are delighted to be a pony for a driver who would otherwise use a wheelchair.

I don't quite understand why, but the feedback I get from them is that they feel that such service is even more special, because it's needed.

I may have a male Dom wheelchair user as second in command of my ponies at the Human-pony event I'm organising in June, if he accepts my invitation.




angelbluewingsz -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 8:07:53 PM)

let me ask you this... is it acceptable to have a blond as a dom? for me it's the same thing. A matter of taste. If you want something, go for it.




swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 8:42:24 PM)

Acceptable?    w t f

Dominant is Dominant- doesn't matter if walking on two legs, sitting in a wheelchair, 12 toes, missing arm.

I want to know why it's  more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no  he can't possibly be a Dominant.




Poetryinpain -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 8:51:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I want to know why it's  more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no  he can't possibly be a Dominant.


Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission. Never mind that the best dominance is with the mind and personality - the physical stuff is just icing on the cake.But that is expected of a Dom more than in a Domme. Go figure. 

Hang in there, OP - somewhere out there is a sub who wants intelligent conversation, domination by pure power of will, and has the desire to do for you what you need to have done. Just be sure that that power is there for her to see. (Or him - whichever you prefer.)

pip




swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:23:28 PM)

quote:

Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission


See now that is what bugs me. If a sub is sub, she shouldnt need to be manhandled INTO submission.
Now some rough stuff now n again is always exciting to me- and that can  still  be accomplished in or out of wheelchair.




CalifChick -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:36:21 PM)

Before anybody gets their knickers in a twist, the OP hasn't been online here in over 4 months.

Cali




sabirah -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:36:58 PM)

I mean no disrespect. I am only trying to share my perspective. I will shy away from meeting a dominant, if I know there may be a handicap. a submissive is not submissive to all, therefor our personal desires and wants tend to weigh in. I am a very tall submissive, there are times when I desperately crave to feel small and feel the power of his presence hovering over me. Those times when he stands before me and all I can do is fall to my knees. That feeling is sheerly because I know he is stronger, more powerful then myself. :: swoons ::
quote:

ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
I want to know why it's  more acceptable for a FemaleDom to be in a wheelchair/handcapped in some way.
But if it is a MaleDom, oh hell no  he can't possibly be a Dominant.


Because to be physically handicapped means that he can't manhandle a sub into submission. Never mind that the best dominance is with the mind and personality - the physical stuff is just icing on the cake.But that is expected of a Dom more than in a Domme. Go figure. 

Hang in there, OP - somewhere out there is a sub who wants intelligent conversation, domination by pure power of will, and has the desire to do for you what you need to have done. Just be sure that that power is there for her to see. (Or him - whichever you prefer.)

pip





swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:45:41 PM)

4days  4weeks  4months, what has that got to do with  dom in wheelchair being "acceptable"




CalifChick -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:46:52 PM)

The OP was the dom in question... the dom in the wheelchair. 

Cali




swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:53:44 PM)

quote:

a submissive is not submissive to all

Keep in mind I did not say a sub was

I said if a sub is sub then she shouldnt NEED to be manhandled INTO it.
I meant within her  relationship
Not with any tom dick or mary






KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:53:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

4days  4weeks  4months, what has that got to do with  dom in wheelchair being "acceptable"


I believe what Cali meant was, this is a dead thread revived.  The person in question may or may not even remember posting this thread, much less be watching it at the moment...




Najakcharmer -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 9:57:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raiden

how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?


Socially, in the BDSM scene, nobody minds and everybody will be glad to help accommodate you.

On a personal relationship basis, that totally varies with the individual and isn't any different than if you're talking about a potential vanilla relationship.  Some people are fine with a handicapped partner, others are not.

My subbie's handicap (mild cerebal palsy) was really not a factor one way or another in developing our relationship.  It's annoying at times that I have to do all the lifting and carrying, but only mildly as I make a point of staying fit and I can't complain too much about extra exercise opportunities.  Carrying all the heavy stuff is certainly not a make or break issue for me.  Now if he had been more severely handicapped to the point that he couldn't drive with hand controls, or do any work, or needed full time care and was not basically a functional, independent, self supporting adult, those probably would have been deal breakers right up front. 

Maybe I'm a shallow person, but I don't think I could start dating or playing with someone if I had to lift them onto the potty and wipe their ass for them, or otherwise be their primary caregiver.  That would definitely be a hard limit.  I also wouldn't be likely to pursue a serious relationship with someone who could not drive or who did not maintain a vehicle of some sort, since I hate driving and flat out refuse to do 100% of it in a relationship.  YMMV.




swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/29/2008 10:48:04 PM)

 

Your sub is handicapped and it is perfectly acceptable because he can toilet himself and drive?

Dom in a wheelchair is not acceptable?  How did lifting on to a pot or wiping an ass  come in to this?

all that was asked was- how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?





Najakcharmer -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/30/2008 9:34:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
Your sub is handicapped and it is perfectly acceptable because he can toilet himself and drive?


Depends on your definition of acceptable.  Maybe I'm a bad, shallow person, but I personally would not be willing to date someone who did not drive or who needed nursing type care, even though being handicapped or in a wheelchair is, obviously, not an automatic deal breaker for me in a relationship.  Other people's mileage may vary.  I am only defining "acceptable to me personally in the context of a relationship".  There are a lot of people I would not personally choose to date or play with, but that does not make them "unacceptable". 

quote:

Dom in a wheelchair is not acceptable?  How did lifting on to a pot or wiping an ass come in to this?


The deal breaker there would be the "dom" part, not the wheelchair part.   I'm commenting on my personal dating parameters here, not some lofty moral notion of "acceptable". 

quote:

all that was asked was- how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?


Oh, I see.  All posts in a thread must only address the OP's question within strict parameters and no one may share their personal experiences or thoughts if they only happen to be similar or related, not exactly the same.  You be sure to let the CM mods know how the standards for  posting here have changed.  I'm sure they'll want to know.  




swtnsparkling -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/30/2008 10:37:53 AM)

You know if people Did Just Simply Answer the Question  asked it would avoid a hellva lot of BS.




jenara -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/30/2008 10:46:54 AM)

as being Dominant is more about personality, than actions, i don't see why being physically handicapped is even an issue. For me personally it's the intellectual discourse and the mental play that is by far more stimulating. That having been said, as a carer for my son i would think very hard before putting myself into service to someone with a disability simply because i know i have limits on how much i can give and i don't think that would be fair on the Dominant. I've had this discussion with a Dom friend of mine who is disabled and he agrees with me that it would have to be someone without other commitments for him as he does need physical care.

tina




subsezM -> RE: Is this acceptable? (3/30/2008 10:50:34 AM)

My Domm is in a wheelchair... and believe me W/we manage just fine lol.  And yes He does run me over occasionally... especially at the checkout in the supermarket lol..  But seriously..when i met Him He wasn't wheelchair bound but managed on 2 sticks.. over the last few years His condition has worsened. W/we have just learned to adapt and like many have said.. the control is moremental than just physical so it hasn't been as much of an issue as Y/you would think

sez xxxxxxxxxxxxx




Najakcharmer -> RE: Is this acceptable? (4/1/2008 10:05:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

You know if people Did Just Simply Answer the Question  asked it would avoid a hellva lot of BS.


It's nice to know that you think my relationship is BS, but since it doesn't involve you, you don't get a vote. 




GoddessTeaze -> RE: Is this acceptable? (4/1/2008 10:21:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raiden

how acceptable is some one in a wheelchair as a Dominant?

Everyone is great in their own ways!
It's all about the magic between a D & s.
So get out there, meet people and enjoy life.

I wish you enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`




Poetryinpain -> RE: Is this acceptable? (4/1/2008 10:25:21 AM)

~fr~

As I am in a wheelchair myself, it would be awkward for me to have a Dom who is also in a wheelchair. (One reason I stopped going to the "disabled dating" sites.) Not that I would respect him any less, or think any less of his mental energy and power; just that I don't have the agility to do certain things, but with an able-bodied Dom I can do them with his help.

The other concern is that I might not be able to help him care for his needs. Granted, I am not guaranteed that an able-bodied man is going to stay able-bodied forever, but at least should some catastrophic event (accident or illness) render him disabled, we would have had time to build a relationship that can encompass two disabled people.

pip, can't drive but can go to the toilet alone




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