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I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:01:18 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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I met someone online and I really seemed to connect with him from the beginning but there are some things that make me have doubts. I realize that I have trust issues and am trying to work through that but some things just don't add up..The only day of the week that I can see him is on Tuesday..that is the only day that is convenient with him which makes no sense to me being that he works a day shift job, no kids and isn't married (as far as I know)...I am never invited to his place or met any of his friends..and I have that "feeling" something isn't right....when he is here with me he is always checking his cell phone and his watch...am I looking too deep into where there is nothing to worry about or do I have a right to be suspicious? Any suggestions on how I can figure this all out? thankyou.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:07:30 PM   
Tarisa


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You trust your own instinct.  If you feel something isn't right maybe it isn't.  Does sound weird the only day he is off is on a Tuesday and wont let you go to his house.  I would come right out and ask what his deal is.

Good luck..

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:07:47 PM   
fadedlace


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Have you asked him?

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:09:18 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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I asked him why a few times and the best thing I can get out of him is that it's more convenient for him...no direct answers.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:11:06 PM   
fadedlace


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The cynic in me who's tried "dating from online" much more than once, has a tendency to wonder if Tuesday isn't "honey, I have my weekly poker game" night...but I was singed by that type so many times, it's probably just me.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:12:39 PM   
HydroMaster


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Look very closely at his finger for a tell tale wedding ring mark...or follow him.  It sounds like he's worried about getting caught by someone from the sounds of his actions.  

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:13:44 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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I was getting the feeling that I was the "other" woman but what doesn't make sense to me is that he doesn't come over to get sex..as a matter of fact, we only had sex once in which "I" hit him up for it....he doesn't ask me for anything but my time.we sit and watch tv and cuddle that is why this scares me...I have yet to find a man since my Master passed away to want my company other than sex

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:15:10 PM   
lighthearted


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I would go with what everyone else is saying; trust your instincts.  and the psycho in me likes Hydro's idea of following him

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:17:54 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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he wears a ring but it's a silver ring...didn't look like a wedding ring to me...he did say he had a 12 year relationship with a woman but they are just friends now...I am considering having someone follow him

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:20:02 PM   
fadedlace


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It's not that uncommon to want undivided attention and not just sex...who knows, maybe his sex drive is low or he tells himself it's not wrong *IF he's attached* if he doesn't have sex.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:21:13 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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well it IS wrong because he told me that he wants to take things slowly and that's he is single..he knows that I want something long-term and that we have had sex unprotected once (bad choice on my end)....alot of things can be solved with honesty.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:21:24 PM   
HydroMaster


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

I would go with what everyone else is saying; trust your instincts.  and the psycho in me likes Hydro's idea of following him

And the psycho in me likes that the pycho in you likes the idea of following him.  Although you may want to have someone else do it to avoid getting caught.



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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:21:32 PM   
fadedlace


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Heck, if you know where he lives, drop by with a batch of cookies on Thursday or Friday "just because..." lol  *edited to add "just because I want to see if there are girlie things or a wife/woman here.*

< Message edited by fadedlace -- 7/19/2007 7:25:41 PM >

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:23:56 PM   
fadedlace


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I'm right with you on the honesty issue...it's mandatory with me and I don't "appreciate" it...I expect it.  I have to have trust in someone's word.  Too many out there don't think it matters.  A shame really.

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:24:40 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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I don't know where he lives..but am gonna pick his pocket for his license and get his address...or just look it up online, God knows everything you can find out online

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:28:15 PM   
fadedlace


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He could well be who/what he says and just very nervous...but you're concerned, the "signs" are fishy to me *not that it matters what I feel about it* and you have a right to find out, eh? :)

Good luck. 

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:29:35 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


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thankyou for your advice...i do try my best to trust men but it's hard....i'm just not gonna put my heart out there yet.....well, i'm trying not to..

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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:55:21 PM   
windchymes


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Sorry, but such limited availability and constant checking of the cell phone for messages when you are together has "attached with responsibilities" written all over it.  Whatever his reasons or excuses, he's not available for YOU.  If he wanted to be, he'd make the time.

The fact that he comes over for a cuddle and a movie may be because he has something to feel guilty about if he has sex.  If he only cuddles, he can tell himself he's not cheating on anybody.

This is not a guy to be thinking about "getting your heart to be able to trust again" with.  Don't even think about it.  I think you already know that deep down, or else you wouldn't be posting here about it.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 7/19/2007 7:57:56 PM >


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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 7:58:41 PM   
MzMia


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Have you heard the song "Leave" (Get Out!) by JoJo?
I can send it to you on the other side.

 
Get the hell outta there.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/19/2007 8:00:38 PM >


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RE: I Need Advice: Relationship Type - 7/19/2007 8:04:30 PM   
domiguy


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Ask if you can do a threesome with his wife or girlfriend.

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