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ORIGINAL: softness
Just to answer this one ...
He didn't constantly speak with me in those terms, they occassionally crept in, more strongly so when we discussed topics that could become a little heated (am not talking cyber sex here, but particular needs and wants we had) I did mention several times how i thought it wasn't appropriate and that it made me uncomfortable at the stage we were at. He agreed and back tracked. I didn't hold this against him initially but the alarm bells rang when it seemed to be his "default" way of refferring to his submissive sexual partner. Especially when that default setting seems to overide the information given him before and cause him to jump to a rather large assumption.

Now this man was party to information about me that would mean he understood clearly that whatever the location of the first, second, or fifth  date, sex and play would not be an option. I like objectification and hot first time sex as much as the next girl but i dont like it as much as having had a reasonable courtship first. Call me old fashioned, but ... well .... I am old fashioned.

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ORIGINAL: softness
I pride myself on being an excellent communicator, to the extent that i make a living about teaching other people about verbal and written communication. I understand the implied and literal meaning behind words shared better than most. I am both willing and able to communicate effectively, though i caanot vouch for anybody else.

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ORIGINAL: softness
Things like the way he would refer to the female body as meat, that in some conversations I was only referred to in the third person, occassionally even as "it". Now these things have all been part of my service before, I do not shy from them, but there was a degree of uneasiness caused by them coming from someone I hardly knew.

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ORIGINAL: Dane

I wouldn't feel very safe at being called "meat" and especially "irresistible meat that a man can't control himself from using" on a second date. I'd feel decidedly UNsafe. If he can't control that, what else will he turn out not to be able to control? I think whether it's fair or not is a moot point. The essence of dominance is self-control. This guy sounds like he thinks the essence of dominance is getting his rocks off. I'd be scared to meet him.

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ORIGINAL: NControlofU

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ORIGINAL: softness
I pride myself on being an excellent communicator, to the extent that i make a living about teaching other people about verbal and written communication. I understand the implied and literal meaning behind words shared better than most. I am both willing and able to communicate effectively, though i caanot vouch for anybody else.

You pride yourself on being an excellent communicator, when you allow someone you don't know to make you feel uneasy with the words he uses to refer to you and you didn't let him know?  You didn't communicate to him how his words were making you feel and let him continue to speak to you like this?  I have to wonder about your skills as an excellent communicator.....

False assumptions and expectations can be made by what isn't said, even more than by what is said.

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ORIGINAL: softness
Things like the way he would refer to the female body as meat, that in some conversations I was only referred to in the third person, occassionally even as "it". Now these things have all been part of my service before, I do not shy from them, but there was a degree of uneasiness caused by them coming from someone I hardly knew.

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My response was that if a man could not show the self restraint required to keep his pants on for a second date then how was i expected to trust him with the self restraint to play with me responsibly.

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ORIGINAL: softness

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ORIGINAL: tag8833
If I recieved an invitation like that I would likely assume that you are inviting me for sex and play.  I would not suggest using your private residense as the location for a second date unless you were first clear on the activities to take place, and even then I think it is a poor idea if sex and play are off the table.  Go see a play.  Visit a museum.  How about the local zoo.  Fine dining at a restraunt.  If you want to prepare the food, then make it a picknick. 

I also consider it an unfair test because you intentionally or not implied that you were open to something you are not.  If I recieved such an offer, I would feel conflicted refusing it for risk of insulting you. 

Finally, at the first time any misqueue exists, you should take the time to outline what you expect from a relationship.  It is too easy to put a roadblock up in a promising relationship just because you weren't willing or able to effectively communicate. 

With all honesty i did not imply that anything would happen, in fact in all the conversations we shared i consistently made the point clear that there would be no sex or play of anykind whatsoever for quite some time.

I pride myself on being an excellent communicator, to the extent that i make a living about teaching other people about verbal and written communication. I understand the implied and literal meaning behind words shared better than most. I am both willing and able to communicate effectively, though i caanot vouch for anybody else.

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ORIGINAL: Marc2b

If a man can't master himself first, he has no business demanding a woman call him master.  Just my opinon.

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ORIGINAL: softness

Was I unfair to effectively "test" his treatment of me when he knew there would be no sex or service?

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So two questions ...
Now was it a compliment to me that he wouldn't be able to resist me... or an insult to my intelligence?
Was I unfair to effectively "test" his treatment of me when he knew there would be no sex or service?