Hard limits (Full Version)

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winterlight -> Hard limits (7/21/2007 3:02:20 PM)

Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one? I have a problem with that one. Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.



ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 3:05:26 PM)

Sounds like a very troubled soul to me...I knew a sub that was released and got in chat rooms asking someone in there to make a'snuff movie'out of her...I don't list that as a hard limit, knowing that anyone I consent to play with understands that is a hard limit..



windchymes -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 3:05:34 PM)

Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.



AquaticSub -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 3:06:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one? I have a problem with that one. Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.


Umm... the "you can't kill me" limit is a VERY reasonable hard limit. If someone is taking issue with that limit, that is a sign you should probably leave.

Edited to add: Now Valyraen is trying to freak me out with daggers... *grumbles*



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 3:09:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.
I agree.



adoracat -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 5:39:42 PM)

"no lasting damage" has always been a hard limit.  death would pretty much be a lasting damage.  *smiles*

kitten, who has too much to do to take a sick day much less have time to be dead...



LadyHeart -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 5:52:33 PM)

I have a problem with the term "hard limits." It causes confusion. A limit is something I do not have a submissives's consent to do. Period. Everything else is a "strong dislike".  Where did this fuzzy wuzzy stuff creep in? In BDSM we need clear communications. I'm not in favour of anything that makes the edges blurry. In my book, a limit is just that - a limit.

Just my opinion.

:))
LH



NicholasLeather -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 6:00:47 PM)

I think it has a lot to do with the idea of "pushing limits."  A hard limit is a limit that is not to be pushed.  Some people like to play that way, others don't, and in mutual space we adopt new language so everybody's clear.



angelic -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 6:05:35 PM)

i often am confused by the term 'hard limit' also.  i view a limit as a boundary... now unless i am on a island, a boundary can be crossed.  i may joke about having hard limits, but if i say no to something, it is no longer a limit.  It is simply something that will not happen.  A limit (to me) suggests that it is subjective,  i.e. i say golden showers are a limit.  It does not mean that with the right Master i might not eventually enjoy them.  Killing me is most certainly not a hard limit, it is something that will not happen (at least not willingly on my part).

This is one of those frustrating times where i know what i want to say, but the right words are failing to come out.  [:@]



Aneirin -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 7:58:13 PM)

To me,a hard limit is just that,a place not to go.Those I am with,I respect immensely and if they say they do not desire something,their reason being their own,I will respect and not even venture in that direction unless who I am with feels comfortable to explore and wishes for me to help through trust.
Even then,carefully and with thought,every deference to them so that they may comfortably explore themselves.

Those that say,'no limits' are I am afraid people whom I walk away from,everyone has limits.



trustingsub -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 8:12:22 PM)

i would assume that this is a given? if You feel the need to tell someone not to kill You, i would get the hell away from that person...



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 9:17:03 PM)

{giggles}
 
EVERYONE has limits, this proves it. I have limits, hard and soft limits. Not killing me is DEFIANTLY at the top of my list. If 'don't kill me' is NOT a limit, then their are issues.



domiguy -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 9:20:29 PM)

What if you make your sub only "mostly dead?"    Just a quick trip to Miracle Max....And you'll be up and running in no time.



kiyari -> RE: Hard limits (7/21/2007 11:58:16 PM)

I don't remember any 'running' after that 'miracle' LOL

Great movie... the book did not end so well



kiyari -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 12:00:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one?
I have a problem with that one.

Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.


I am thinking this is some light sarcasm,
in regards those who think that even 'hard limits' are to be pushed?



softness -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 2:41:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

What if you make your sub only "mostly dead?"    Just a quick trip to Miracle Max....And you'll be up and running in no time.


now you are freaking me out ... I have that film on in the background!



softness -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 2:43:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

I don't remember any 'running' after that 'miracle' LOL

Great movie... the book did not end so well


they didnt wait the 45 minutes for full effect ...



Politesub53 -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 3:54:37 AM)

How about letting someone kill you once, but making them promise not to do it again if you dont like it ?  [;)]

A hard limit should never be pushed, although that doesnt mean what i see as a hard limit now, will always remain a hard limit. Also there could be limits within certain activities that one only agrees to some aspects of it. An example would be to agree to water sports but not agree to ingest fluid.
[;)]



Phin -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 5:07:39 AM)

One bottom that I play with regularly and I were chatting one day. I jokingly asked, "you dont have any limits, do you?" her responce: children, animals, dismemberment and death.



ready4srvce4all -> RE: Hard limits (7/22/2007 5:24:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.


True, but at the same time, just before you're snuffed, the last words on earth you want to hear are, "You never said it was a hard limit"



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