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for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:13:27 AM

tonilynnxoxo

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
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what the hell ever happen to a sub meeting a dom or domme and enjoying life with one another based on a common love for the lifestyle and each other... but instead its become ill dominate you for $$$...im all about being an entrepreneur but shit im sorry it takes a little off the adventure and enjoyment when the phrase ill do it if you pay me comes before ill dominate you because i now its what we both enjoy and because i want to because i care....

Post #: 1

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:27:59 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
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A lot of people find paying for a relationship, whether it's BDSM-based or vanilla-based, to be demeaning. Still, if people want to play money such a thing, meh. No worries- a lot of people still keep money out of the picture.

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 2

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 2:19:15 AM

michelleryder

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

Doesn't it become prostitution when money changes hands? If i were you i'd just carry on looking i think most people play for fun or because they become emotionally involed rather than for cash.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 3

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 2:30:10 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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Some do it because they are tired of being treated like trash ... like life support systems for another person's kinks

Some do it because they are tired of always footing the bill for costumes and toys

Some do it because there are suckers out there who will pay

Some do it to weed out the fakes and wankers

They all do it because ... THEY CAN

Does it really matter why? If it's not what you want, then move the heck on.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to michelleryder)

Post #: 4

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 2:49:40 AM

Rafters

Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline

It's like vanilla sex. There has always been professionals and there has always been amateurs.

Just because you see a shift in the amount of advertising doesn't mean either side is doing it more or less than the other, only that the ratio of advertising heading in your direction has changed.

I find life is considerably less stressfull, if you don't compare the outside of other peoples lives with the inside of yours.

People are wired differently, and the choices that one person makes in their life, might not work as well or as badly if chosen by somebody else.

Your faithfully

Deuce Bigalo
Amateur... Domino?

< Message edited by Rafters -- 7/22/2007 3:21:45 AM >

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 5

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 6:22:21 AM

ready4srvce4all

Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline

The same reason people pay for bottled water when for the most part they can get it for free. It just works for them, and seems to quench their thirst much better.

_____________________________

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 6

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 6:31:47 AM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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uuhhmm...maybe you should just stay away from Pro Dom/Dommes....its not about money with everyone, keep looking

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*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
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(in reply to ready4srvce4all)

Post #: 7

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 7:49:39 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tonilynnxoxo

what the hell ever happen to a sub meeting a dom or domme and enjoying life with one another based on a common love for the lifestyle and each other... but instead its become ill dominate you for $$$...im all about being an entrepreneur but shit im sorry it takes a little off the adventure and enjoyment when the phrase ill do it if you pay me comes before ill dominate you because i now its what we both enjoy and because i want to because i care....

Whatever happened to not judging other people's kink?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 8

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 7:51:12 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

Doesn't it become prostitution when money changes hands? If i were you i'd just carry on looking i think most people play for fun or because they become emotionally involed rather than for cash.

Only if sex is involved. Otherwise it's just a service provided for money and you could argue that everything is prostitution. Even being paid to paint a house.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michelleryder)

Post #: 9

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 8:03:21 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

You're comparing apples to oranges. So what some people charge money. i have friends who will drive me 100 miles and not even think to ask for a dime and others who take me across town and expect me to pay for gas. Just accept it as part of a persons make up and if you don't like it, don't associate with those kinds of people. Not everyone in the lifesyle is going to meet your standard or comfort level, accept it and move on to the next person who might match you.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 10

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 10:42:10 AM

tonilynnxoxo

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline

wow, seems i stepped on some toes for that im sorry forgive me. my post was not to question nor judge but mearly to prevoke thought ... heres a lil more to the post i sould add to fill in the blanks with out making this sound as a me me me fest.. i completely understand and 100% respect pro Dom/Domme lifestyle and profession that is not what i was refering to... my ripple in the water is more towards the non profesionals whom also join in the mix and with that said i add a little more with the seemingly more common trend that is male Dom/female sub very seldom does it ever make mention of $$$ but turn it around Female Domme/male sub and $$$ seems to be demanded practically in the first sentance... different strokes for different folks... fine ....financial domination ..ok ....maybe its only me that dares to ask but then again i believe in the love of the art and the bond between two people ....i still say as i stated before Dominant/submission....is it for love or money......

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 11

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 10:49:38 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

You're fine, no worries. Pro Dommes are prostitutes, but many are prostitutes enacting their kink. Here, "prostitute" is associated with bad and working with your kink is associated with good. So you get a lot of conflicts, including inside of individuals; this divide causes some to be rather irritable about it.

Perhaps, what you're curious about, is is it really a kink for all Pro Domme's, or are most out to make money? To be honest with you, having looked at some of their profiles and sites for a laugh, I really do think most Pro Domme's are out to make money. As a Master, I can't see any kink in my slaves going out and making money for me. Hell, I'd find it rather insulting, really, if I needed my slaves to support me finicially.

Then again, some women might cum off getting money from slaves. While I doubt it's far less than women who are just too lazy to have a real job, it may exist- and this community is phobic of denying such individuals their kink, should they exist.

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 12

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 11:16:28 AM

tonilynnxoxo

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline

i knew i wasnt crazy or insane ...i knew someone out there felt the same as me... any others out there feel the same way too...stand up have a voice... one person its a complaint... two people its a motion....and three or more and its a revolution.....:-).....thankyou CuriousLord...wise beyond your years..thankyou

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 13

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 11:17:01 AM

daddyscherry

Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline

Well if there is money changes hands then most likely love is not a part of it...but why are those the only two options?

Maybe the Domme loves to do what she does, the male sub loves what she does and so there is love in a sense.

If you're talking about love in the sense of loving someone, then there are alot of M/s D/s relationships that don't have love in them...but that also aren't for money.

If it works for who ever is doing it then let them enjoy themselves....there are some male subs that only want to see Pros because of things involved in their own personal lives or maybe they don't want to be totally involved with someone, and to only bottom to them.

Also, what about the guys who are involved with vanilla women, who they love and don't want to have some entanglement?

There are alot of reasons that people do what they do and if there wasn't the demand there wouldn't be the supply.

_____________________________

~cherry
a.k.a. charismagirrl

For today i won't say but...
For today i won't say just....
For today i will simply obey...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 14

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 11:23:49 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

As usual Curious Lord and I are in complete agreement, we are lab partners after all...Pay these ProstiDommes no mind or cash...Unless you feel it is the only way possible to get your kink on.

But again just a reminder to all of you subby guys out there ....Since you are the ones paying....I would look for something of quality like....BossyLadyPamela At least she appears to be rather attractive....Why pay for some old gnarled up oak tree when there is a sapling that will be more than willingly to meet your needs.

Can a Dom use the word "sapling" and still be considered a Dom?

_____________________________

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 15

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 11:39:06 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It's the internet. People play roles that don't suit them all the time. Some people play these roles with a goal in mind, one of which is getting money. Use it as a weeding tool for you. If they ask something you're not comfortable with, simply pass them by.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 16

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 11:51:11 AM

tonilynnxoxo

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline

ok im getting the point that either to many are afraid to be direct with their reply or afraid to step on toes or what ever the case maybe ( i think i covered every basis but who knows) all the Dom and Domme 's out in this big world... amature, profesional ..or any where in between and i have the up most respect for the true hearted ones out there but let me impose this question to all of you (any and all Dominants out there) how would you feel if like all new fetishes that come along and stick like glue...one day soon submissives rise up and start making you all pay to dom them..so you have to fork over $$$ to enjoy your needs in life. i might be out on a limb or lost in space but something tells me the ones who claim to be dominants ....that are not truely professional Dom/Domme..and simply came to the easy conclusion long ago ( humm i tell make or control another or better yet a man into submission tell him in its simplest from hes worthless beat him with a belt tie him up and hes pays me to do this no brainer im in) i bet those individuals wake up like a merical cure the next morning and jump at the chance of being what i hold so true and deep in my heart and find insaltive when that title is tarnished by imposers thats is a proud submissive... so once again its not complicated in its simplest form if you had to choose which would it be dominate for love of the lifestyle or dominate for the money it puts in your pocket

(in reply to daddyscherry)

Post #: 17

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:10:37 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tonilynnxoxo

let me impose this question to all of you (any and all Dominants out there) how would you feel if like all new fetishes that come along and stick like glue...one day soon submissives rise up and start making you all pay to dom them..so you have to fork over $$$ to enjoy your needs in life.

Pro-subs already exist.

quote:

i might be out on a limb or lost in space but something tells me the ones who claim to be dominants ....that are not truely professional Dom/Domme..and simply came to the easy conclusion long ago ( humm i tell make or control another or better yet a man into submission tell him in its simplest from hes worthless beat him with a belt tie him up and hes pays me to do this no brainer im in) i bet those individuals wake up like a merical cure the next morning and jump at the chance of being what i hold so true and deep in my heart and find insaltive when that title is tarnished by imposers thats is a proud submissive... so once again its not complicated in its simplest form if you had to choose which would it be dominate for love of the lifestyle or dominate for the money it puts in your pocket

That's funny. I've come to the conclusion that those who judge people deserve to be judged themselves. And by the way you are going, it won't be very nice. But we will have to see.

Just to be clear - I'm not into the money thing. I don't send money away to dommes. But I do buy toys, make-up and porn. In each case, I'm buying a product that I enjoy in some way. What they are doing is buying a product that makes them happy. These dommes are quite "real", I certainly consider them to be much better then those who would degrade them, and they fill a need.

There are men and women out there with understanding spouses who simply aren't into BDSM. They let them go to these professionals where there isn't much chance of a intimate relationship forming that could damage their marriage. Pros fill the void for those who, for their own reasons, can't or won't get a relationship of their own right now.

It's a product. And if it's not sex, I don't view it as whoring themselves out. Is it sexual? Depends on the person. I get aroused during a good massage. Does that make the person being paid to massage me a whore?

Edited for typos

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/22/2007 12:18:14 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 18

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:29:09 PM

MsOpal

Posts: 244
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline

Ok, I will take a stab at this one ...
I am submissive to one person and I love them and I love what we do and what we are, so THAT relationship is about many kinds of love for he andI both.
I am D to one person that I have a deep emotional tie with and I think /hope that is growing into love. Argent and I share her and we both feel the same about her.

Now - Argent is the "Dom and bread winner" in our home. He is supporting 2 of us, totally - roof, food, clothes, medicals, cable, net, etc. So, we all love each other - but are we 2 females who are both s to him prostitutes because we accept "payment in kind" in the form of room, board, and sex?

I am also D to 2 wonderful gentlemen. No sex is involved at all. They do not pay me anything, but both have given me gifts - totally unasked for and unexpected and made all the more sweet because they just wanted to. So I guess that is totally for the love of wiitwd (or wiitw need) for all 3 if us.

MsOpal

_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

and I did.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 19

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:34:29 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

[Just to be clear - I'm not into the money thing. I don't send money away to dommes. But I do buy toys, make-up and porn. In each case, I'm buying a product that I enjoy in some way. What they are doing is buying a product that makes them happy. These dommes are quite "real", I certainly consider them to be much better then those who would degrade them, and they fill a need.

There are men and women out there with understand spouses who simply aren't into BDSM. They let them go to these professionals where there isn't much chance of a intimate relationship forming that could damage their marriage. Pros fill the void for those who, for their own reasons, can't or won't get a relationship of their own right now.

It's a product. And if it's not sex, I don't view it as whoring themselves out. Is it sexual? Depends on the person. I get aroused during a good massage. Does that make the person being paid to massage me a whore?

So if Valyraen decided to find a ProstiSub because he felt you were not meeting his needs you would be cool with that?

Who says he would ask you first? I know your relationship is based on truth yadda, yaddda, yadda....But why would you make that leap about others?

I believe that most ProDommes get into it soley for the cash...They do fill a void....But the subbie boys control the bucks and thereby the relationship, so when going ProstiDomme shopping you should find the right one....Lift up the hood, kick the tires,check around...Remember, by being purchased they have made themselves into nothing more than a commodity....So make sure you are getting the most "bang" for your buck.

_____________________________

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 20

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