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RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 12:40:50 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

So if Valyraen decided to find a ProstiSub because he felt you were not meeting his needs you would be cool with that?

If he spoke with me about it first, possibly. If I had issue, it certainly wouldn't be because she was for pay. It would be that I would like the chance to fulfill the need first. However, he allows me to fulfill needs that he can not meet with other dominants so I wouldn't withhold it from him if I truly could not meet them.

quote:

Who says he would ask you first? I know your relationship is based on truth yadda, yaddda, yadda....But why would you make that leap about others?

Again, I spoke of those who are in relationships where the non-BDSM spouse allows the other to have this. They exist. And for those who don't ask first, the issue is not that they paid the submissive. It's that they violated the boundries of the relationship. Completely different issue.

quote:

I believe that most ProDommes get into it soley for the cash...They do fill a void....But the subbie boys control the bucks and thereby the relationship, so when going ProstiDomme shopping you should find the right one....Lift up the hood, kick the tires,check around...Remember, by being purchased they have made themselves into nothing more than a commodity....So make sure you are getting the most "bang" for your buck.

So they bought a product. This isn't a relationship and the dommes in question aren't pretending they actually own the sub. It's a product and if there is no sex there is no whore. Otherwise, all exchanges of money and skill equal prostitution. If one wishes to define prostitution as anything that causes arousal, many a strong man doing manual labor without a shirt or someone working in a massage parlor is a prostitute without even knowing it.

Edited for about a million typos

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/22/2007 12:41:38 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 21

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 1:00:03 PM

daddyscherry

Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tonilynnxoxo

ok im getting the point that either to many are afraid to be direct with their reply or afraid to step on toes or what ever the case maybe ( i think i covered every basis but who knows) all the Dom and Domme 's out in this big world... amature, profesional ..or any where in between and i have the up most respect for the true hearted ones out there but let me impose this question to all of you (any and all Dominants out there) how would you feel if like all new fetishes that come along and stick like glue...one day soon submissives rise up and start making you all pay to dom them..so you have to fork over $$$ to enjoy your needs in life. i might be out on a limb or lost in space but something tells me the ones who claim to be dominants ....that are not truely professional Dom/Domme..and simply came to the easy conclusion long ago ( humm i tell make or control another or better yet a man into submission tell him in its simplest from hes worthless beat him with a belt tie him up and hes pays me to do this no brainer im in) i bet those individuals wake up like a merical cure the next morning and jump at the chance of being what i hold so true and deep in my heart and find insaltive when that title is tarnished by imposers thats is a proud submissive... so once again its not complicated in its simplest form if you had to choose which would it be dominate for love of the lifestyle or dominate for the money it puts in your pocket

Absolutely for the love of the lifestyle..i wasn't clear on exactly what you meant until you put it exactly that way.....

That being said,

i was a pro Domme for quite some time...sometimes i did it for money...sometimes not...ALWAYS for the love of the lifestyle.

The reason that i did it was simply, i was in a relationship that was predominantly vanilla...i wanted more, asked for more, tried to make it more...i couldn't make a duck into a chicken no matter how hard i tried.

Soooo since i wasn't getting what i needed, i gave to others what i couldn't get (there was no reason that everyone should lose out)...essentially i was a Top most of the time...but it fed something from both sides and it worked quite well for me and for all that i encountered...sure some people chose to give me money...the option was theirs.

Why didn't i just go get a Dom? Because i was in a relaationship that worked well for me on so many other levels that it wasn't an option....i could've paid a Dom, which i considered.....but that wasn't allowed within my relationship.
i could've been a paid sub (there are those too you know)....but that was not allowed.
So i did the thing i did, because i needed to have something "lifestyle" in my life.

So there ya have it...love of the lifestyle and if someone opts to pay or gift someone for their time or service so be it.

< Message edited by daddyscherry -- 7/22/2007 1:01:51 PM >

_____________________________

~cherry
a.k.a. charismagirrl

For today i won't say but...
For today i won't say just....
For today i will simply obey...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 22

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 1:32:13 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

So if Valyraen decided to find a ProstiSub because he felt you were not meeting his needs you would be cool with that?

If he spoke with me about it first, possibly. If I had issue, it certainly wouldn't be because she was for pay. It would be that I would like the chance to fulfill the need first. However, he allows me to fulfill needs that he can not meet with other dominants so I wouldn't withhold it from him if I truly could not meet them.

quote:

Who says he would ask you first? I know your relationship is based on truth yadda, yaddda, yadda....But why would you make that leap about others?

Again, I spoke of those who are in relationships where the non-BDSM spouse allows the other to have this. They exist. And for those who don't ask first, the issue is not that they paid the submissive. It's that they violated the boundries of the relationship. Completely different issue.

quote:

I believe that most ProDommes get into it soley for the cash...They do fill a void....But the subbie boys control the bucks and thereby the relationship, so when going ProstiDomme shopping you should find the right one....Lift up the hood, kick the tires,check around...Remember, by being purchased they have made themselves into nothing more than a commodity....So make sure you are getting the most "bang" for your buck.

So they bought a product. This isn't a relationship and the dommes in question aren't pretending they actually own the sub. It's a product and if there is no sex there is no whore. Otherwise, all exchanges of money and skill equal prostitution. If one wishes to define prostitution as anything that causes arousal, many a strong man doing manual labor without a shirt or someone working in a massage parlor is a prostitute without even knowing it.

Edited for about a million typos

You are right...All of these guys are paying to be spanked or whipped or whatever...There are rarely any sexual acts performed....If there are sexual acts and if the meeting is based on the exchange of cash....I can't remeber the term used for such folks.....But I'm sure this happens so rarely that it is not worth naming.

Just like the massage parlor therapist or the beef cake construction worker. Which is a great analogy.

I'm also quite confident that they do fill a void...I',m sure there are many more male subs than Dommes...Which would lead one to believe that many are seeking this out for soley financial gain....Again no big deal....If a woman feels that this is her calling and is willing to take the risk whether it be from family or law enforcement...I really don't have a problem with them other than the fact that they have reduced themselves to being a commodity which anyone can purchase.

So they shouldn't get pissy if someone informs the sub guys to find something that is worth their dollars instead of spending money on some burned out, old, fat and nasty Domme unless that is your thing.....I'm just providing a consumer beware service which should be complimented instead of criticized....

_____________________________

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 23

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 1:50:20 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

So they shouldn't get pissy if someone informs the sub guys to find something that is worth their dollars instead of spending money on some burned out, old, fat and nasty Domme unless that is your thing.....I'm just providing a consumer beware service which should be complimented instead of criticized....

When you start running a consumer reports websites for pay dommes that judges them fairly by what they charge, the services they provide, how old and attractive they actually are instead of buying into same sort of stereotype that puts us all in a bad light, I'll agree with that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 24

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 1:52:51 PM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

I guess MD's and dentists and contractors and waiters and writers and IT professionals are just whores commodifying themselves too. How dare they have skills people want.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 1:54:46 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

I guess MD's and dentists and contractors and waiters and writers and IT professionals are just whores commodifying themselves too. How dare they have skills people want.

You wouldn't believe all the "The doctors should do it for the love of helping the patient! They shouldn't want to be paid!" bullshit I have actually heard...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 26

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 2:01:40 PM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

Equally as bogus.

And, yeah there are plenty of prodommes without talent or SM inclination. Just because there are B movie actresses out the wazoo do you then lump Helen Mirren in with them?

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 27

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:11:14 PM

tonilynnxoxo

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline

well after all of this eye opening response it sounds as though either what im asking isnt going to be answered with out pulling teeth or its like throwing darts blindfolded sure if i ask you if you played one says i threw the darts didnt i.. i ask if you hit the target you say i hit the wall does that count...and if i ask how you felt about playing youll give me 4 different reasons why how others viewed you playing... 3 reasons why your shoes were the wrong type your playing in..2 ways on how other people play differently and no ones way is wrong like the world is a big koom bi ya .... but ultimately not 1 direct sentance say look if the blindfold was off and i can see the target ill play 100 times better....but ahh the world in a nut shell how sad...thanks to all who spent time and your attention... bye

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 28

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:20:55 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Sometimes when we aren't getting the answers we seek it's because we are either asking the wrong question or our questions are too muddled to understand.

If you were asking why someone would do it, you have gotten several reasons as to that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 29

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:28:16 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Can a Dom use the word "sapling" and still be considered a Dom?

Certainly not if you use it to refer to your "one-eyed little domiguy".

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 30

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:36:37 PM

daddyscherry

Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tonilynnxoxo

what the hell ever happen to a sub meeting a dom or domme and enjoying life with one another based on a common love for the lifestyle and each other... but instead its become ill dominate you for $$$...im all about being an entrepreneur but shit im sorry it takes a little off the adventure and enjoyment when the phrase ill do it if you pay me comes before ill dominate you because i now its what we both enjoy and because i want to because i care....

Since so far you seem so unenthused with the responses, i'll try one more time, although my response was that it was for the love of the lifestyle but if someone chose to "gift me" then i wouldn't have said no and would've appreciated it.

The fact that someone chooses to pay doesn't negate the enjoyment factor for the proDomme involved.

If i were to bottom to someone and get paid for it would it make it less fullfilling? No.

To choose to make money from something you enjoy doesn't make your enjoyment less and if there is the demand there will become the supply.

Also, if the Domme is not one who is really into and only does it for the money, then i would imagine that she wouldn't end up with a huge return clientel. i think this stuff would just become evident, that the proDomme was a fraud...unless of course she is really good at what she does and the person going to her is having their needs fullfilled.

Ultimately, one would hope to find something of a reciprocal relationship, where both parties are truly into what is happening.

_____________________________

~cherry
a.k.a. charismagirrl

For today i won't say but...
For today i won't say just....
For today i will simply obey...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 31

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:44:28 PM

beautykelly

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/9/2006
Status: offline

for money.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 32

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 3:48:39 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

There is such a thing as pro dommes. There is such a thing as money dommes. Everyone here already knows that, especially after the 3,478th thread whining about them. Get over it and move on. You don't want any, don't buy any. Ranting bitterly about the fact that they exist accomplishes nothing, except to make you look more negative and less attractive.

If you're angry and bitter because you can't find someone who loves you and wants you as a submissive life partner, blaming pro dommes isn't the answer. That's like a single woman who can't find a man to love and marry her ranting against prostitutes. The fact is that someone who has a hard time getting people to fall in love with them or date them just because their company is enjoyable probably needs to look a little closer to home for the probable cause. The bathroom mirror is a pretty good place to start. And it's not just about looks either, it's about personality, attitude and behavior.

You're not local to me, so this doesn't matter on a practical basis, but I can tell you that I would rate your profile as attractive enough that I'd be personally interested in meeting and possibly playing - but bitter, angry anti-pro ranting lowers that attractiveness very significantly. There may be a domme local to you whom you would potentially be interested in who is reacting the same way. Being angry at others because you can't find the love you want can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's a bad rut to be stuck in.

(in reply to tonilynnxoxo)

Post #: 33

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 5:47:18 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Funny how a little time goes by and the people forget just how much some factions of the group have contributed.
Some (not all) of the Gnarly Old Pro's have been producing educational events, teaching amatures their skills forming groups that now we all think of without a second thought about the Pro Dommes who gave their time and money to birth.

A few small contributions that Pro Dommes have given the larger community.
Black Rose (formerly a local PEP chapter)
PEP (The entire network of PEP was started by Professional Dominatri (sp?)
Educational classes I can't even count the number of classes that I've attended that were taught by Pro's.
Educational webites (more than a couple dozen of the oldest BDSM websites around)
Books (fiction and non fiction) They certainly blazed that trail as well for us.
Legal precidents (the number of court cases they have gone through to establish the little legal pecidents that make what we do less illegal)
A Huge number of the play spaces that we have today are patterned after or currently owned by Pro's

AS for the Semi Pro's Them I have no personal use for but so long as the people involved are consenting adults Caveat Emptor.
The Gnarled Old Pros can often have a much better education about what they are doing that those 20 something hotties.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 34

RE: for love or money - 7/22/2007 6:03:10 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

There are tons of threads out there just like this one ... and they come down to the same thing - if a profile doesn't offer what you are looking for, then move onto the next one. If you message a profile and the person suddenly switches what their basis for choosing/keeping someone is, then move on to the next person.

For the record, Holly and I both do it because we enjoy it, and when we are with the right person, it just happens naturally. The only money we ask for from our boy(s) comes after they have moved in and it's for the bills and other things that anyone living with others should help out with.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 35

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