Cheating...A Dominants Privilege?

Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (Full Version)

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Rose4Mistress -> Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:42:44 AM)
I had been in an online relationship for the past three months (never again!), and I had thought everything was going well. We talked everyday, we had begun making plans for me to come visit her during winter break. And then, yesterday, a friend in the lifestyle finds not one or two, but three CM profiles of young girls all my age, "owned" by this same Domme. And, whats more, I get contacted by a few submissive females telling me that my Domme is contacting them and wanting to own them. So, of course, I confronted this same Domme about what was going on. At first she denied it, and said these girls were all out to get her, and that she would never, etc. Then the story changed that she was looking to find me a playmate. When I reminded her that I did not want anything like that, she told me that it wasn't cheating on her part, because she is a Dominant and can do what she wants, and that I should be grateful that she was giving me her time at all. As you can imagine, that didn't go over well with me, so I broke it off. Her attitude changed again, begging me to stay, telling me she loved me, etc. So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive? If you are a Dominant, do you feel that it is your perogative to take on another slave, keeping the first slave in the dark about it? Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave? Thanks in advance! Rose

ownedgirlie -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:48:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave? Thanks in advance! Rose Yes. But then he made it clear from the beginning that I would not necessarily be his one and only slave, and that he may tell me of others or he may not, depending on whether or not he finds it beneficial to do so. It was an "eyes wide open" thing for me. Lying, in my humble opinion, is never good,, and typically only results in destroying trust and ultimately the relationship. I am sorry you were lied to.

Aine -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:50:44 AM)
Cheating is noone's privilege. Only some seem to think it is.

mnottertail -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:51:30 AM)
you are 19, you will be revisiting this phenomenon a few times in your life, good change the Domme wasn't even a female species of bovine.

BBBTBW -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:52:06 AM)
Cheating in any way, shape or form is wrong. If she wanted more than one sub/slave it is her responsibility to tell you and let you make a decision about your willingness to stay in said relationship. I am slowly building a Poly Family but anyone and everyone I talk to knows that I am Poly.....they either jump on the wagon or they continue to walk their own path....no secrets, no lies.

AquaticSub -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:53:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive? Depends on how you look at it. I don't have an ethical problem with an owner telling their sub that they are going to take on another person, except in the situation where the terms of ownership hinged upon monogamy. Then I would see it as a situation of sexual incapability and they may be best off seeking other partners. But outright cheating in the manner you describe? In my opinion, yes they can. However, if a dominant violates the conditions that ownership was given on, he may well find himself owning nothing. Being able to do something doesn't make it the right or best course of action. quote: Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave? That would depend on the situation. Currently, neither Valyraen or myself are allowed to have other partners though it is something we are discussing. If he were to take on another slave or to start sleeping around without talking to me about it then I would leave. If he talked to me about it, then it would depend on the situation and how it was handled. I highly doubt he would bring a third into our relationship without considering and respecting my feelings on it since we have agreed that, if we do add another, this is our primary and most important relationship.

Rose4Mistress -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 11:57:35 AM)
quote: If he talked to me about it, then it would depend on the situation and how it was handled. I highly doubt he would bring a third into our relationship without considering and respecting my feelings on it since we have agreed that, if we do add another, this is our primary and most important relationship. I have no problem with poly at all, if it between consenting partners. However, I had made it very clear that I was not wanting to be "one of many", and she had assured me that I would be her only sub. I thought it awfully rude to go behind my back in that way. Thank you all for your replies! I definitely appreciate them!

SimplyMichael -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:02:10 PM)
I just wonder why "online" holds such a fascination for you when Sacramento (my home town) has such a rich and varied BDSM scene, from all gay groups, to pansexual, and female dom oriented events. Honesty and Karma are interesting concepts and are quite often two way streets.

AquaticSub -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:02:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress quote: If he talked to me about it, then it would depend on the situation and how it was handled. I highly doubt he would bring a third into our relationship without considering and respecting my feelings on it since we have agreed that, if we do add another, this is our primary and most important relationship. I have no problem with poly at all, if it between consenting partners. However, I had made it very clear that I was not wanting to be "one of many", and she had assured me that I would be her only sub. I thought it awfully rude to go behind my back in that way. Thank you all for your replies! I definitely appreciate them! Then she lied to you and it was rude to go by your back. If she wanted a harem she should have been upfront with you. At least now you know her true colors. Sorry you had to go through this.

Rose4Mistress -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:03:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael I just wonder why "online" holds such a fascination for you when Sacramento (my home town) has such a rich and varied BDSM scene, from all gay groups, to pansexual, and female dom oriented events. Honesty and Karma are interesting concepts and are quite often two way streets. lol mostly because I am so new, I would be afraid of making a fool of myself. And secondly, because I would have no idea how to find them.

domiguy -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:11:41 PM)
I love to cheat....Especially online....It is just so much more upfront and personal.....Nothing is a better reminder of an online conquest, after a hard and long session,then to hold my fingers up to my nose and to be greeted by the all to familiar and pungent scent of Compaq. Sometimes, afterwards, I won't wash my hands for days.

bamabbwsub -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:15:20 PM)
quote: At first she denied it, and said these girls were all out to get her, and that she would never, etc. Then the story changed that she was looking to find me a playmate. When I reminded her that I did not want anything like that, she told me that it wasn't cheating on her part, because she is a Dominant and can do what she wants, and that I should be grateful that she was giving me her time at all. First, it sounds to me as though this Domme is a "playa," much like some of the men who try to string along multiple women at the same time. Then, when they get caught, they go on the offensive to put the power in their favor. Second, she is an out-and-out liar. Regardless of whether she is a Domme and "can do what she wants," it doesn't include lying. Any relationship that is built on lies from the outset is doomed to fail. Also, your submission is a gift to HER, and she obviously did not respect that from you; rather, she is acting like a celebrity whose position seems to make them above the rules of mere mortals. I'd say you did well to drop her. My profile clearly states that I am only interested in MONOGAMY. If other people wish to have multiple subs, that is not for me to judge, but any potential Dom in my life should respect my desires on that point or move on. Perhaps if you didn't clarify this with her, or if it isn't specified in your profile, you might wish to change it in the future. Best of luck to you!

angelic -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:45:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive? Rose Nope. Cheating is cheating and does not matter which side of the bed you are on. my former would tell me (when i would catch him in a lie, etc.) that 'he changed his mind' so therefore it was not lying, cheating, etc. He had the same sort of mindset as your former Domme... "I am Master, you are pig (slave), so i get to do whatever, whenever, however i choose."

Phin -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:49:09 PM)
Cheating is no one's privilege, period. I am involved in an open relationship with my wife. Before I enter in another relationship, scene or sexual act with someone other than her she knows all the details. But that was discussed before we started that type of relationship. There is no lying, no deception between us. Cheating to me is the deception, and you were deceived.

mnottertail -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:56:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW Cheating in any way, shape or form is wrong. If she wanted more than one sub/slave it is her responsibility to tell you and let you make a decision about your willingness to stay in said relationship. I am slowly building a Poly Family but anyone and everyone I talk to knows that I am Poly.....they either jump on the wagon or they continue to walk their own path....no secrets, no lies. That's not quite true according to some here, now it seems that if one or the other partner would be left with no health insurance, it is ok then. Ron

BBBTBW -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 12:58:58 PM)
Ron, WHAT???? Loren

Phin -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 1:00:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW Ron, WHAT???? Loren I am scratching my head with her...

AquaticSub -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 1:04:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW Ron, WHAT???? Loren It's from other cheating themed threads.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 1:06:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael I just wonder why "online" holds such a fascination for you when Sacramento (my home town) has such a rich and varied BDSM scene, from all gay groups, to pansexual, and female dom oriented events. Honesty and Karma are interesting concepts and are quite often two way streets. lol mostly because I am so new, I would be afraid of making a fool of myself. And secondly, because I would have no idea how to find them. LOL.. Knowing Michael, something tells me that in a few moments, you will have all the info you will ever need about the scene in Northern California... Have fun and forget the cheating Domme, there are lots and lots of other fishies in the sea for you...

BBBTBW -> RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? (7/22/2007 1:07:52 PM)
*edited to change the whole post I get it...he isn't being helpful. I am a little slow but I eventually catch up....sometimes

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