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What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 6:59:58 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

We just got back from our week at the ABATE Boogie and from several conversations that were held with individuals who were curious about our lifestyle I have a question to ask.

As the three of us openly answered questions about how we lived, who slept where, who did what tasks, who was the provider, who had sex with whom, there were a few questions about jealousy but not as many as you would expect because, well, it was a biker party.

As we described our lifestyle the most common question was “What do you bring to the table?” A common enough question even in a vanilla marriage or domestic partnership.

Aside from the obvious (to the general public) leather and kink, we all have to function in vanilla day to day ways. Bills have to be paid, house work kept up, yards mowed etc.

So be you Dom, Master, Mistress, Switch, sub, slave, baby girl or boy, cute little puppy or big sturdy pony, what do you bring to the table?

What are your skills and talents? How do you use them to enhance your relationships? Are there things that you do that make your partner exceptionally proud? Even if you are not in a relationship, post and display your talents, tell what you would bring into a relationship to make it run. Or what you are looking for in a partner to make your world tick smoothly.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

Post #: 1

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:03:45 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Mashed potatoes, gravy and craaaaaanberry sauce!

Sorry, it's early and i'm on a caffiene high.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 2

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:12:04 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

Great Questions .. I am on my way out the door but will think about this and reply later ... bet you cant wait huh ??? sorry am silly this morning

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 3

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:23:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_987422/mpage_1/key_skills/tm.htm#987482
What do you bring to the table?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_268592/mpage_1/key_skills%252Csub/tm.htm#268592
service skills!!!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_789802/mpage_1/key_skills/tm.htm#789805
the submissive brag thread

Reposted:
Good question, and there's no possible way I can include them all:

Good working knowledge of pop culture and classical cinema, theater, music and literature.

Excellent background in debate and contextualizing, excellent research skills.

Quick learner, follows directions well

Fastidious organizer, excellent relational memory and trivialist

Offline friendships and contacts to the scene on many levels

Young and in fairly good physical condition, no diseases

Sexually educated and experienced

Computer literate with moderate level of experience in average office programs and database management

No children or sick relatives currently needing daily attending

Independent means of transportation

Excellent shopping and styling skills

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 4

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:27:32 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Computer skills, household practicality (What else do you call all that common household and domestic management stuff your old world mother and grandmother passed on to you?), and my writing, are the most prominent 'skills' I possess that would be of above average talent. I like to think I have a lot more, like my outdoorsmanship experience, my first aid and CPR training, WHMIS, food safety training ect. Yet beyond the 'pratical' applications I like to think I bring some great personality traits as well.

I think it's a hard question to answer though, because everyone will see different 'valuble' aspects within a given individual. Self perception isn't always how others around you percieve you either. My partners have always been proud of my skills and accomplishments though, no matter if I have a high or low level of talent in that particular field.

As for what I look for, responsibility, and self control! A head for figures and time/money management are probably the most important skills or abilities I would want in my partner(usually to counter balance my own lack of desire to practice these skills), otherwise, as long as they are working on something with dedication and enjoyment, I'll be happy.

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 5

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:29:55 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

lmao..chia beat me to it...I was thinking along the same lines this morning chia!scary....

Well, in our household, Sir works outside of the house, pays the bills and keeps the vehicles running. I take care of the house, the UMs, the livestock. I mow and handle the yard, I do the laundry and cook and clean, I fix fences when the cattle decide to bust through into the neighbors yard. I feed animals and UMs, sometimes at the same time...lol. I fix pipes when the bust, Im currently adding a master bedroom upstairs in our attic, and building new kitchen cabinets during my free time. I also do electrical work on the side to make some extra cash when I get the chance. I have a house, a barn, and 5 acres of land to keep together. I fix just about anything that needs fixing and feed anything that needs feeding. I keep the place clean and running smoothly. I also run a small web-business selling indian artifacts that Sir digs up on the weekend.

Sir thinks its absolutly amazing that I manage to get all this done everyday all by myself and still have time to spend with our three kids......dont anybody tell him Ive been using my weekly allowance to hire the neighbor kids to help!

ghita~

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 6

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 7:33:18 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

What do I bring to the table? Good question, twice. Let's see if I can answer it in a way that makes sense.

First, I try extremely hard to bring the three rules of mine...courtesy/civility, patience, and communication to the table. I really believe in these three for dealing with anyone, not just fellow kinksters but patients, friends, ums, my ex (though she does her level best to decrease all three).

I bring the ability to recognize when I have been wrong...whether it was in abiding by my own rules above or others or in other areas...to recognize it and apologize for it. I will attempt to do this even when the person I am apologizing to does not want to initially accept it. When they will not even give me an attempt to apologize and explain myself, I will try again. Of course, it is their choice to not listen to me at all or not give me the chance to explain myself but I also carry the ability to recognize that it is their choice...and their freedom...to do so but, depending on my wrongdoing, it also tells me a lot about their level of acceptance and understanding and patience and openness, no matter what they may say. I've had those experiences...and I regret that the relationships never progressed any further...but I also am honest with myself and, once I have admitted my mistakes and have attempted to follow through and convey my apologies and proffer a dialogue, I also recognize that I made the attempt and it was on the other person to accept...or deny...it.

I also bring a sense of humor to the table. I have learned through the many trials of my life that if you cannot laugh, even just a bit, that things tend to look that much gloomier. I am no Sammy Sunshine but there really is benefit to being able to find something that can make you smile just a bit, let alone give out with a deep laugh.

I bring a sense of responsibility, both for myself and whoever the person is...friend, lover, play partner, um... to the table. I have no desire to be in a relationship wherein one partner carries all the emotional load, all the workload, all the caring-for, etc.. I work hard at my job and would love to share what I have with someone, especially as things continue to improve. But I realize that is not my only obligation and, in my world with a partner, I also recognize it as not only my obligation. I have emotions and, unlike a lot of folks, I choose to share those with people. I believe deeply in sharing the good ones as well as the bad.

I love to converse. Because of this, I try to read about things that not only interest me but, when suggested by other people, I read about other areas as well. It never hurts to keep updating what you know about the old and attempting to learn something new and then be able to bring that to the table in conversations with others. I've had conversations with some on here that have gone on for 2 - 3 hours and I've had conversations lasting from 30 minutes to an hour and they all have been good because the people I have spoken with enjoy reading also.

I bring a sense of structure and ideas on implementing that into whatever relationship I am in.

I bring an ongoing sense of amazement at D/s BDSM...and other things. I love the mental and spiritual ins and outs of w.i.i.t.w.d. It touches something deep within myself and deep within my brain.

I love the physical...I not only enjoy the mental and spiritual aspects of what we do. I love the physical and I admit it.

That is some of what I bring to the table...I hope I bring more. But for now, tis time to head to work.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 7/23/2007 7:50:23 AM >

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 7

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 8:05:50 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

Good morning LA, thank you for the links.

I think we all knew you bring many talents, though the classic music was a pleasant surprise.

quote:

Original ProlificNeeds

(What else do you call all that common household and domestic management stuff your old world mother and grandmother passed on to you?),

I think you would call that set of skills EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!

quote:

Original GhitaAmati

Well, in our household, Sir works outside of the house, pays the bills and keeps the vehicles running. I take care of the house, the UMs, the livestock. I mow and handle the yard, I do the laundry and cook and clean, I fix fences when the cattle decide to bust through into the neighbors yard. I feed animals and UMs, sometimes at the same time...lol. I fix pipes when the bust, Im currently adding a master bedroom upstairs in our attic, and building new kitchen cabinets during my free time. I also do electrical work on the side to make some extra cash

Wow, you do have talents. A few of which we have in common as you will see when i post mine, amazing. Too many folks think, housewife or farm wife, what is so hard about that? If they only knew.

quote:

Original CreativeDominant

First, I try extremely hard to bring the three rules of mine...courtesy/civility, patience, and communication to the table.

CreativeDominant, a great answer, thank you.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 8:11:33 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

Creativity, working class roots and thrift, upper crust useless but neat education (hey, that's a reference to Proust,) fire and drama, passion, but also infinite patience, sales skills and the ability to spin, disinterest in reproducing but interest in making the world a place that doesn't suck for the next people in it, the entrepreneurial bug, and the desire to add a little chaos to everything I view as too neat, tidy, and certain of itself. Just a little. I've always enjoyed making disorder of order - and I think this outlook is too-often maligned in a world where we're seen as the sum of our tangible belongings and brand affiliations.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 7/23/2007 8:12:59 AM >

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 9

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 8:13:10 AM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

we are not 24/7, so I will focus on our relationship only. I'm not one to over-analyze, so if my list seems a tad simplistic, it's intended to be.

I am an optimist; I try to give the benefit of the doubt to people to I love; I am kind, loving, attentive, steadfast, loyal, devoted.
I am exceptionally creative; I make books by hand, cards, sew and also have my own website.
I am spontaneous, fun loving, with a very very silly sense of humor and laugh easily.

I think, if asked, he would tell you that these are all things that he loves about me, that are different than past relationships, and that bring him joy and happiness.

edited: punctuation

< Message edited by lighthearted -- 7/23/2007 8:15:02 AM >

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 10

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 8:58:20 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

Daddy's proud that i'm successful, intelligent, independent, self-motivated and talented as a writer plus my love for eclectic music from R&B to old crooners (like Sinatra) to Ella and Brazillian music ...i speak up 3 foreign languages (Latin too which is good while attending mass) ...computer skills and certifications ...my love for cooking, dancing and being a full-time working mom to UMs.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 11

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 9:10:03 AM

SlND3R3LLA

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

We just got back from our week at the ABATE Boogie I am from down that way, wondered if you all ever went.and from several conversations that were held with individuals who were curious about our lifestyle I have a question to ask.

As the three of us openly answered questions about how we lived, who slept where, who did what tasks, who was the provider, who had sex with whom, there were a few questions about jealousy but not as many as you would expect because, well, it was a biker party.

As we described our lifestyle the most common question was “What do you bring to the table?” A common enough question even in a vanilla marriage or domestic partnership.

Aside from the obvious (to the general public) leather and kink, we all have to function in vanilla day to day ways. Bills have to be paid, house work kept up, yards mowed etc.

So be you Dom, Master, Mistress, Switch, sub, slave, baby girl or boy, cute little puppy or big sturdy pony, what do you bring to the table?

What are your skills and talents?Well, I am very, very good at blow jobs I am good at decorating, sewing, housekeeping, cooking, first aid, organization, record keeping, planning..etc.

How do you use them to enhance your relationships? Well, the bj part pretty much speaks for itself. I also prepare all of the meals, everyday and holidays. I do all of the decorating, sew the curtains, and keep the house in nice order from day to day. That saves us money on a lot of things, including having someone else come in and clean or decorate. I also do all of the painting and things like that (again, saves money). I take care of all of the finances, the bill money, and what's left for play. I organize activities for vacations and outings. I take care of all Dr appts, calls to Docs, and all medications for Master.

Are there things that you do that make your partner exceptionally proud? I think everything single thing I do everyday makes him proud (to hear him talk). He loves that I make his breakfast, pack his lunch, and have his dinner ready when he gets home. He appreciates having a clean home to live in and always knowing clean clothes will be in the closet the next morning. He loves that I listen to him and that I take care of him physically, and emotionally anytime he needs it, and sometimes even when he doesn't know he needs it.

I am sure others have more skill than I do at things and there are probably things I didn't get mentioned. I do know the above are things I bring to the home and things that he appreciates in me. In the end, that is all that matters.

Sin

PS..I also bring income in normally, and will again when my medical leave is up. That is always a nice bonus.

_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 12

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 9:28:00 AM

cumulus

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline

- Various firearms.
- A large penis.
- A steady income.

_____________________________

Regards,
Cumulus

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 13

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 9:38:54 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

LMAO......that was just about exactly what Sir had to say on the situation.......except his words were "large amounts of firepower, not so large amounts of money, and and even smaller amount of dick"

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to cumulus)

Post #: 14

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 10:37:31 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

years of experience and a banana with strawberries

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 15

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 10:51:23 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Love. Intelligence. Truth. Honor. Humor. Love.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 16

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 10:53:33 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

A nasty sinus/headcold.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 17

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 10:55:36 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

A nasty sinus/headcold.

A snot covered bitch....There is always a chair waiting for you..

_____________________________

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 18

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 11:10:16 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

A nasty sinus/headcold.

A snot covered bitch....There is always a chair waiting for you..

Woooooohoooooooooo!!!! got Kleenex?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 19

RE: What do you bring to the table? - 7/23/2007 11:26:42 AM

SassySue

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline

<intelligence
<humor
<a generous heart
<a few foibles
<rhubarb leaves

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 20

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