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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:18:20 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisBoo
My owner is the same. I have always wanted to be with him and another man but he is so jealous and of course posessive that he would more than likely want to kill the guy. We have been with other women......But he would never have me submit to anyone other than him

Ditto here.

quote:

I believe this is showing more ownership than sharing

I'm going to have to differ with you here, HisBoo. I don't think sharing or not sharing, per se, either one show "more ownership." Ownership - it's depth and "realness" - are highly specific to each couple. I wouldn't go so far as to say one shows any more ownership than the other.

quote:

I'm sure it would hurt him to see me giving that part of myself to another man, even if it is just once. (I don't know if I've explained that well enough but bah)

You explained it very well. I totally agree. Thanks for your answer, HisBoo.......luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to HisBoo)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:58:54 PM

jflynn

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Boston, Ma
Status: offline

Have had the desire, and it was fulfilled a long while ago. Mostly it was about trust. My tops and I knew some friends that we mutually trusted, and we sat down to discuss the idea of sharing. It was nice that my tops respected my ideas and wishes when it came to it, and everything was taken care of in a nice and tidy way that tried to account for any odd/weird/jealous feelings. And I'd say that in the end, things worked out so well, thanks to putting in a little extra time.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 7:03:11 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

thanks for the thread...it's something I have very much fantasized about, but in both of the D/s relationships I have been in, they have been pretty clear that it's a no-go.

I've thought a lot about what is so exciting about it, and it revolves around being "owned property". in my current relationship, my role is a bit more defined, and there's quite a bit of objectification in the property sense, and it is a huge turn on for me.

while he has been thoughtful enough to actually consider the idea, we both agree that it would have to be an organic experience, (of course, my safety is the #1 consideration), and not done just for the sake of doing it. we both feel that it has to be the right time, meaning our relationship is on solid ground, we both are comfortable with the circumstances, etc. neither of us would want to risk hurting the other to pursue it. if it never happens, well, I suppose I would be a tad bit disappointed, but there's lots of things in this life I may never have a chance to do. that's just the way it goes.

do I feel less "owned" because it hasn't happened? no. nothing changes the fact that whatever I do is under the scope of his ownership, it's a constant.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 7:23:23 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
I would love to be shared but it won't happen.

Ok...and this makes you feel? I'm curious how those who wish to be shared and aren't permitted to be feel about this. Does it make you unhappy in some way or do you see it as "reinforcing" your slavery/owned status/etc. since you are not permitted to do what you would choose to? Is it a "turn on" in a different way than being shared, knowing you are being denied the pleasure of being shared by the one who controls you? I'm just eager to know if there are others out there who feel that way. Thanks for your answer, proudsub............luci

I'm ok with it, it gives me another thing to fantacize about. I don't even see it as a D/s thing, it's more a monogomous marriage thing.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 8:10:56 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

This struck me so strongly that I am answering before I read any of the other replies to distract me.

I grew up not understanding the concept of jealousy. My parents were pioneers in the open-marriage movement so I was exposed to ideas quite different from the mainstream. I have learned to be monogamous through my vanilla relationships (with some mis-steps). My first master had no problem sharing me, if I wished. We weren't together long and he never loaned me out- supervised or non - but I was free to do as I wished, with permission and full disclosure.

Now I am permanently collared to Master, whose views are almost totally inline with your Master, luci. He does NOT share His toys. He will permit me play with other women- Domme and sub (this is where He differs from yours), but no other men.

He is aware of my fantasies concerning being used by more than one man at a time. At first, I was even hesitant to share these, knowing His feelings on the subject, but He wants ALL of me, so I am not allowed to self-edit. It's interesting to me that my current fantasies have morphed into more exhibitionist ones- Him using me in front of other men. His restrictions have incorporated into my subconscious.

I haven't thought of it the way you present it- as reinforcing His ownership of my body - but I like it. Thank you.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
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MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 8:10:57 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

I've got the opposite situation. He wants to share me and I would be just fine not having anyone else. Well except my switch/lovebottom

.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 4:42:39 AM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

I lent out my slave/husband once to a friend because she was sick and needed assistance. He alse knows he has to have a positive attitude towards females in general: suppoprtive in his business environment, offering his seat when there are ladys whithout one and so on.
And I've been looking for an heir so that he won't be lost to the lifestyle afther my death if I should go first. ( Still comparing possibilities -any takers ?- but this is setteld for now in agreement with my slave).

But normally, I don't like to share 100 % because of our relation and the way two people know each-other. He needs to know my habbits, and be there for me 24/7.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 6:08:12 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Are there subs/slaves out there who desire to be shared but whose doms/owners do not permit it? How many sub/slaves are out there who wish to be shared but are willing to not be shared in order to please their dominant?

On the whole, I don't really desire to be shared because I wouldn't want to have sex with men and women I don't like. However, there are certain people that I would really, really, really, really like to be shared with so if that counts I'm in. However, Valyraen doesn't share well at all where I am concerned.

quote:

For you subs/slaves who wish to be shared and are not allowed to be, does this make you feel "more owned" in that you are being denied your own desires in order to please your dom/owner?

Hadn't really given it any thought, to be honest. It's just the way he wants things.

quote:

Whether being shared or not being permitted to be shared, if we're doing it in order to best please our doms, then is their really any major difference? One may be doing something they do or not wish to do in order to please and the other group is being denied doing something they wish to do in order to please as well.

I don't think there is a difference. Denial of something you want is denial of something you want, regardless of what the desired activity or object is.

quote:

Does anyone who is not shared but wants to be have any input here? Surely I'm not the only one. I'd appreciate your thoughts. Thanks...........slave luci

It makes a lot of sense to me how that could also reinforce ownership. I guess for me it doesn't because the option just never came up. When we first got together it wasn't something I wanted at all.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:23:56 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

If the owner of a toy doesn't want to share, if that toy wants to be with another, it isn't sharing they are interested in.

I was surprised by the few who posted that they would feel MORE owned by being shared, interesting! Learned something new today...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 10:40:12 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Hi Luci girl....you would LOVE my Masters attitude on this...He wants to share me while He is there. I am very in love with my Master...and to me making love to Him is a very personal expression of my love devotion and commitment to Him. For that reason and perhaps a few others i DO NOT see being shared as a loving, caring, "building" thing...to me (and this is just my take) it flies in the face of commitment and love... i mean it feels really awful to hear...i love you...i want you...i'm devoted to you...you are MINE...but here...i want others to use you and i DON'T want you all to myself....i just don't get it... now having said ALL that...my devotion and submission to my Master is such that i would do it because i love Him enough to do WHATEVER it takes to please Him and make Him feel fulfilled. stay cool Luci girl....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 11:46:06 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Master has had me used by a Domme (He was there and participating). I found that, even though she was touching me, to me, it was an extention of His touch. Hmm, I don't know that I'm conveying this well. He controls me. He decides what sensations I feel. So, if the tool He chooses to use is His cock, a dildo, or someone else's hand, it's still HIS decision, His perogative.

It has nothing to do with love and devotion, it has to do with control.

< Message edited by hejira92 -- 7/24/2007 11:47:25 AM >

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 6:53:26 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

For some reason my Mistress does not want to share me.
How many male submissives here are shared?

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:07:08 PM

subsweetkitty

Posts: 16
Status: offline

slaveluci..
Your post spoke volumes to me as Im in the same (fairly new) situation:
"Master made it very clear before I became His slave that I would never be shared with another man again. No scening, no play, no sex - nothing. Same thing with dominant women. Vanilla or sub/slave females are fine for play but that is all that is permitted. So, as a person who had formerly been very sexual and had had my share of different male partners over the last (nearly) two decades, I was left to decide if I could live with that rule. It wasn't hard
to decide that I indeed could. "

I suppose being given the same "rules" to play by my only problem-like yours- is that He met me at a very" loose" stage in life (if I were a liar, I'd say Nelly Furtado wrote "Promiscuous Girl" for me :). I have been married twice for over 20 years (talk about being "owned"!) and have really only been single for the past 4.5 years. Since moving to a new state for a new job, I've been able to totally take on a new persona and have, literally, rocked the house (swingers clubs, 3-ways ) for the past 2 years. So slowing down my play with others has pissed off many friends Ive made outside this relationship. They cant figure out why Im so "evasive" in the past few months.

Like you, I dont find it hard to do. He wants me to be taken by another sub female- no males , Dommes or lesbians.. Ever. Like everything else in life, its a question of how much dedication one is willing to commit to one's word, isnt it?

My D works out of state 3weeks per month on average. We only meet when he's "home". I have a key to his house and he has one to mine. So its mutually understood when he is here, its His time only. Im having fun "planning" our next night out when I can make his desires reality. Until this novelty wears off, I dont think of anything else..

As to how I feel about it .. I suppose the best way to describe it is "ambivalent". Right now, I dont want or need for any other man in my life. But the realist in me says "be dubious". So things are good for now. Im just not sure the dynamics of our particular situation would allow for a long term set up. Still, I try not to think of that. I went for years without sex in marriage so I know Im good "for the distance". Its not my desires I question. Its my own patience..

Best of luck
subsweetkitty

< Message edited by subsweetkitty -- 7/24/2007 7:23:49 PM >

(in reply to his2pet)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:16:53 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted
while he has been thoughtful enough to actually consider the idea, we both agree that it would have to be an organic experience, (of course, my safety is the #1 consideration), and not done just for the sake of doing it. we both feel that it has to be the right time, meaning our relationship is on solid ground, we both are comfortable with the circumstances, etc. neither of us would want to risk hurting the other to pursue it. if it never happens, well, I suppose I would be a tad bit disappointed, but there's lots of things in this life I may never have a chance to do. that's just the way it goes

This makes alot of sense to me. I totally agree. While it might be nice, it's not something I'm willing to pursue if it would mean harming the wonderful relationship we already have. It's simply not that important to me.

quote:

do I feel less "owned" because it hasn't happened? no. nothing changes the fact that whatever I do is under the scope of his ownership, it's a constant

Indeed. Thanks for your answer, lighthearted..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:20:44 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
He is aware of my fantasies concerning being used by more than one man at a time. At first, I was even hesitant to share these, knowing His feelings on the subject, but He wants ALL of me, so I am not allowed to self-edit

Same here

. That feels weird some times for sure, but I'm getting more and more used to it.

quote:

It's interesting to me that my current fantasies have morphed into more exhibitionist ones- Him using me in front of other men. His restrictions have incorporated into my subconscious

That's cool. I find the same thing with my own fantasies. It feels wrong somehow to even fantasize about things He's not into....lol...I know it's not, it just feels strange to.

quote:

I haven't thought of it the way you present it- as reinforcing His ownership of my body - but I like it. Thank you.

You are very welcome. Thank you for your answer............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:25:41 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
On the whole, I don't really desire to be shared because I wouldn't want to have sex with men and women I don't like. However, there are certain people that I would really, really, really, really like to be shared with so if that counts I'm in

You don't want to have sex with people you don't like? How odd....lol....Yeah, it sure does "count" that you'd like to be shared with those whom you'd really, really, really, really like to have sex with. For the sake of my question, we're assuming we're thinking of being shared with people we'd LIKE to be shared with

quote:

Denial of something you want is denial of something you want, regardless of what the desired activity or object is

True.

quote:

It makes a lot of sense to me how that could also reinforce ownership

Good. I'm getting alot of responses saying the same thing. I know it sure reinforces it for me. Thanks for your answer, aquaticsub...........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 7/24/2007 7:26:26 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:29:06 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
If the owner of a toy doesn't want to share, if that toy wants to be with another, it isn't sharing they are interested in

Then what is it? Interesting thought....could you expound a bit?

quote:

I was surprised by the few who posted that they would feel MORE owned by being shared, interesting! Learned something new today...

From what I've read lately, seems a lot of folks are saying that. I certainly understand it though. Thanks for your answer, Michael............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:35:00 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav
Hi Luci girl....you would LOVE my Masters attitude on this...He wants to share me while He is there. I am very in love with my Master...and to me making love to Him is a very personal expression of my love devotion and commitment to Him. For that reason and perhaps a few others i DO NOT see being shared as a loving, caring, "building" thing...to me (and this is just my take) it flies in the face of commitment and love

Hello there...congrats on your collar, btw

. I wish you all the best. I do love your master's attitude on this, for sure....lol....but I also agree with you about sharing not necessarily being a "building" thing. I wouldn't consider it that - just a fun experience. I totally see how you wouldn't be into it though. I think in the area of sex I tend to have more of a masculine attitude. I hate to sound sexist but, in general, I think men tend to be more able to disassociate sex from feelings of "love." I have always been able to do that and never necessarily felt caring and love for my partners. Therefore, being shared wouldn't be seen as flying in the face of love and commitment, as you say, because it wouldn't involve love and/or commitment with the "other" party. Therefore, there would be no threat to the love and commitment I share with Master. But, that's just my view.

quote:

i mean it feels really awful to hear...i love you...i want you...i'm devoted to you...you are MINE...but here...i want others to use you and i DON'T want you all to myself....i just don't get it

I totally respect your viewpoint here. I don't share it but I see it

.

quote:

my devotion and submission to my Master is such that i would do it because i love Him enough to do WHATEVER it takes to please Him and make Him feel fulfilled.

I believe that. I think you really would

. Again congrats on the collar and thanks for your answer...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:38:14 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
So, if the tool He chooses to use is His cock, a dildo, or someone else's hand, it's still HIS decision, His perogative.

It has nothing to do with love and devotion, it has to do with control.

Yeah...now if I can just convince Master of this

. Seriously, I do see exactly what you're saying. He just won't let any other male's body parts be one of those many tools....lol....luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/24/2007 7:44:27 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsweetkitty
slaveluci..
Your post spoke volumes to me

Great....thank you

He met me at a very" loose" stage in life.... (have really only been single for the past 4.5 years. Since moving to a new state for a new job, I've been able to totally take on a new persona and have, literally, rocked the house (swingers clubs, 3-ways ) for the past 2 years. So slowing down my play with others has pissed off many friends Ive made outside this relationship. They cant figure out why Im so "evasive" in the past few months
I see how that could present a dilemma when you're now expected to be only with him or those women he approves.

quote:

Like you, I dont find it hard to do. He wants me to be taken by another sub female- no males , Dommes or lesbians.. Ever. Like everything else in life, its a question of how much dedication one is willing to commit to one's word, isnt it?

I would say so. I can't say I don't occasionally think about it but, as I've said over and over throughout this thread, it's just not important enough to risk or damage what we already have

quote:

As to how I feel about it .. I suppose the best way to describe it is "ambivalent". Right now, I dont want or need for any other man in my life. But the realist in me says "be dubious". So things are good for now. Im just not sure the dynamics of our particular situation would allow for a long term set up. Still, I try not to think of that. I went for years without sex in marriage so I know Im good "for the distance". Its not my desires I question. Its my own patience..

Well, it's great things are good for now. Hope they stay that way. I agree that patience is hard to come by sometimes but it is possible to have it if it's important enough to you. Best of luck and thanks for your answer...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to subsweetkitty)

Post #: 40

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