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What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 11:28:28 AM

ThunderRoad

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

Greetings all,

This is probably the silliest of questions and reqest for feedback, but I figured this was a good place to get some thoughts and hopefully the flames won't be terribly high.

My fiancee / sub and I will be attending our first big D/s event in November (Kinky Kollege). We're really looking forward to it. Last night I was going through the online registration materials with her and we came to a question that seems really easy, but that we got stymied on.

"What name would you like printed on your name tag".

Hmm. I mean, normally at a conference you'd just have "Hi my name is <name>" and that'd be that, right? but this isn't a normal conference and she immediately jumped on "It'd be cool to have 'slave mindi' on it!". That's great if it's what she wants. But now I'm just not sure what is proper for me.

Putting "Master" or "Sir" just seems rather pretentious to me for some reason. Given the purpose of this event (a learning expo largely) and the fact I'm an admitted novice on many subjects, it seems to be claiming expertise that doesn't exist and demanding respect that hasn't been earned. I'll admit I'm probably reading way to much into it, but it certainly got me to thinking What WOULD be appropriate.

She feels that I should have more than just my name, but I'm just not sure what would be good.

Any thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 11:34:01 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Go what what name feels comfortable. I always go as Liz D, and my partner always goes with just his first name. But plenty of people use "scene names" at all public functions, and plenty of people put "property of" or "pet of" or "Sir" or "Lord" or whatever in their names also.

As long as you're ok with people calling you Brad even though your nametag says "Sir Brad" then it's fine. But think ahead- once people attach a scene name to you, it's hard to switch over to a "regular name" including in vanilla public.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 2

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 11:38:53 AM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I am Lady Seraphina or Lady S in all Scene related events and forums. The people who know me will call me Lady S or Seraphina, and Mine call me 'my Lady'. I don't feel it's putting on airs, because I don't care if it's a Domme calling me 'Lady S' or a sub calling me 'Seraphina'. As I tell them, unless you serve Me, you're just my friends. Some random guy walking up and saying 'hey sexy' is a whole other ball of wax!

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 11:43:07 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

name is a label like a can of food or discription of idenity. human way of organization of thought to connect to or with for comunication..

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 4

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 2:46:33 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

Put what you are comfortable with. If you feel that Sir or Master is pretentious, then dont put it up there.

Scene names are not a bad Idea, but you are taking the chance that you will be walking down the mall with vanilla friends and you will hear your scene name screamed from 5 stores down. not that this person is trying to out you, it is the only thing he/she knows you by.

Few people are going to judge you by what is on your nametag... unless you have it printed with "The One True Master for all the World to Serve"

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 5

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 2:55:59 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Whatever feels right to the two of you is what is appropriate.

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Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 6

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:23:19 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

If you aren't comfortable with Master X, you can always go by Mister X. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 7

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:26:07 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I'm not much for formalities myself. I generally put both "Rover" and "John" on my nametag, since I'm known by both names to people.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 8

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:34:52 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I've known some nice people who use "Master" but for me I just stick to John Warren on the nametag. Of course, I"m so far out of the closet I can't find the door with the Hubble. When I first got into the Scene, I just used John but there were usually other "John"s around so I was kind of relieved when people started referring to me as "Mentor." I even considered publishing Loving Dominant under that name but decided it needed the credibility of a real name on the cover. There are still a number of people who call me Mentor, but I don't personally use it much.

If you are going to use something other than just a name on the tag, I recommend you give it a lot of thought of the "Is this really me?" sort of thing.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 9

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:41:31 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I go by Donna or Ms. Donna usually....and maybe I'll see you at Kinky Kollege! I'm thinking of going...

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 10

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:44:34 PM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I always just use either my first name, or ghita...which happens to be my SCA persona name and there seems to be alot of crossover in the groups we hang around in, so alot of people in the BDSM crowd have been introduced to me by people I origionally met in the SCA so it keeps getting used more and more often.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 11

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 4:56:49 PM

MASTERLIX

Posts: 79
Joined: 7/4/2007
From: SIR LIX OF ATLANTA
Status: offline

I think it is wise that you have put some thoughts into this. What you said that particularly struck my attention was when you said, "the fact I'm an admitted novice on many subjects, it seems to be claiming expertise that doesn't exist and demanding respect that hasn't been earned."

Usually, when name tags are used, they are supposed to be used based on training in the lifestyle. There is a difference a sub and a slave. While one can be a slave and a sub, one cannot be a sub and a slave. Meaning, you have to have had some trainings as a sub to become a slave and in the most cases collared.

Then, when it comes to being a Master, Sir or Lord, not every Dom is a Master, Sir or Lord. You have to have also had trainings to be considered those tags. So do Domme and Mistress. So, it will be completely pretentious to give yourself a tag that you do not really have full knowledge of.

My advice is that for now, just use any regular vanilla tag until you are trained appropriately. And as for your lady, I also don't think she would really qualify to be called "slave Mindi" if she does not have any basic training to be a slave.

Those are just my views.
Sir Lix

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 12

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:02:36 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

"Grand Master Lord Elder High Poohbah, God-Emperor of the Discovered Universe" might be a bit much.

Whatever you personally identify with is fine, within reasonable limits. A buddy of mine goes by "Master Dyke" or "MD", either one is fine. I call her MD and that works. Folks who choose to use her title can call her "Master Dyke". If it's an option you give people, that's fine. Some people are comfortable calling a relative stranger "Master" or "Mistress" and some people really aren't.

If you offer no other alternative than a D/s title to be addressed by, some people who are uncomfy with titles outside a consensual relationship might decide to refer to you as "Hey, you". Or "Hey, you over there, Lord High Thingy *snrk*"

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 7/23/2007 5:05:02 PM >

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 13

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:03:38 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

This is just too easy, and I already have an admittedly not wholly undeserved reputation. Someone else take it... please.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MASTERLIX)

Post #: 14

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:05:16 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I like my name. One day I might liked to be called Sir Rabbit or Master Rabbit. Just for giggles.

I especially like it when people say something like "Bunnies, huh? Yeah...thats real Domly."

When that happens, I know my name is doing its job and helping to weed out the people caught up in superficial images of Domliness.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 15

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:07:05 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I especially like it when people say something like "Bunnies, huh? Yeah...thats real Domly."

Obviously they have not seen "Monty Python And The Holy Grail". Now where IS that Holy Handgrenade of Antioch?

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 16

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:08:05 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

*uses the Bunny Teeth on Rover*

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 17

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:21:58 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

ooo ooo can i watch you chew on Rover? that would be HAWT....

use whatever name you're comfortable with...but becareful...cause once you use a name you usually get stuck with it...especially when they are people you only see at national events...so if you wanna be HighLordFluffyKittenMonster...go for it, but just be sure about it...

good luck...and have fun...sure this lifestyle can be work, but if the outcome isn't fun...why stay?
chelle

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 18

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:22:31 PM

Mystique567

Posts: 273
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

Here comes Peter Cottontail.....

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 19

RE: What's in a name? - 7/23/2007 5:25:47 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Fast Reply to EVERYONE:

Please, do us all a favor and ask the questions that demand answers before I'm forced to do it!!

John the Impatient

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Mystique567)

Post #: 20

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