DVS
Posts: 11
Joined: 6/9/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LacyD
Hi I don't post here often. lol! This is my very first post!
I have been a collard slave to my Master for over a year. He has always been a busy man. He works for the evil empire as a software developer, he is divorced... has kids. I am divorced and have kids work two jobs.
We have not integrated our families but have met each-others children and had planned to do so soon.
Last week I got an email from a woman telling me that she has been my Masters sub for over two years.(so before he even met me) and she thought I should know about her.
I confronted him. he didn't even flinch and said yes she was but he had told her he couldn't play anymore the week before because he only wanted me.(that is why she contacted me. She told me she wants him back.) He said he didn't love her, she was not nor never was his slave, and she was not collared nor ever was.(I chatted with her briefly and she agreed to all but the I Love you part she said he told her he loved her.) He denys it though says he always said affectionate things to her.
He told me it was selfish of him to not tell me about her, but that they played only when I was not available as a release and that even then it was not often. He said he had planed on ending it when he met me but it just took him awhile. (He is horrid at ending any type of relationship, one of his weaknesses, and I have seen the affects in other non play relationships of his life.)
We play with other couples and woman, so I am not sure how I should take this. He did collar me and not her.
I am ANGRY and HURT he didn't tell me. But he has been putting such an effort in, to secure/sooth me... apologizing, remorse, guilt etc. I am seriously wanting to give him a second chance. but part of me feels foolish to do so.
Can trust in a M/s relationship be rebuilt after something like this? Our relationship has been built solely on trust. Now I am constantly thinking he is off with some other sub when I have my kids...
Any help would be appreciated.
Lacy.
PS. I asked if I could take my collar off until I decided what I wanted to do with this situation. He was not happy... but it is off and I have it in my pocket wherever I go..
PSS... I know all the don't trust someone when trust has been broken stuff... but I am forgiving and trusting by nature... some of my best friendships are so becuase I forgave stupid things they did. accepted them for who they are instead of judging them. It is just our relationship is so diffrent than a vanilla friendship.
Without reading any of the other replies I'm assuming many have said about what I'm going to say. But, I also asusme most of the replies are from women and I thought I'd give you a man's opinion.
First, I understand your devotion to this man, and I also can relate to the attraction of his kids and your kids getting together and you all having a great day together.
But, aside from the good things in this relationship, don't overlook the things that were hidden from you, and for how long. And, when you confronted him with the information the other woman told you, his reaction was non emotional. That should tell you something. (1), he either expected her to contact you, or (2) he's had it happen before, so it wasn't an emational exchange for him as it was for you.
I'd think either choice would not be good, because with the first choice, she knew about you, but you didn't know about her. If he was being fair and open about things, you both would know about each other. And, in the second option, he didn't even try to act upset that she told you or concerned that you might be hurt.
Now, you can go back to him if you want, but trust is a very difficult thing to repair. Oh, you can get back together and act like it's behind you, but there will always be those little things that happen down the way that will make you wonder if he's doing it again. Phone calls he hangs up on, mysterious times when he isn't where he should be, or where he said he would be. I could go on, but I think you get the point I'm making.
He has done this before, and he will do it again, when he has found someone he enjoys better than you. You think he didn't collar that other woman, but I think he did. I think he was seeing her for quite some time and then found you and before he told her about you, he was two timing the both of you. The reason he dropped her was because she was the one who had found out. You were still in the dark and oblivious to his ways.
He might be someone you can trust now, but I'd think hard about that, if I were you. Some people can change, but a lot don't. If he has done something once and it took someone else to tell you he was doing it, he was being shady and trying to keep it quiet.
If he had come to you and said the other woman might contact you, and if she does, here's my side of the story. Buit, he tried to keep it quiet, hoping she wouldn't contact you. Now, he's only rethinking his methods to find out what he did wrong this time, so next time, he can keep it quiet longer.
"Once bitten, twice shy". There's a reason that is a well known saying. It's because it's true. But, I hope whatever you decide is the correct choice and everything works out fine.
Good luck in all you seek.
< Message edited by DVS -- 8/13/2007 12:26:17 PM >
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RE: Rebuilding Trust. - 
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