is this wrong to want

is this wrong to want (Full Version)

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moki1984 -> is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 6:58:20 PM)
I am a married woman. to a vnailla man. and after some time and hardship i have come to realize this is what i ultimately want... many slaves male and female with different obligations BUT one male Dominate over Me to satisfty My masochistic wantings. is this wrong? I feel terrible because My vanilla husband thinks bdsm is rather.......wrong

OrangeJulius -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 7:58:45 PM)
Wrong according to who? Your husband? Yes, I think he would find it wrong. According to the laws of many US states, it's iffy until you have sex with them. Then it's wrong. I guess you could play it off as some sort of business, with you as the (vice?) president, but then you would have to actually run a business... and most managers don't beat their employees. If you actually just wanted opinions though, personally, I think it's wrong unless he both knows about and at least somewhat approves. As in, you go out and he doesn't lie on your couch and cry softly to himself.

RumpusParable -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 8:17:48 PM)
I'm admittedly biased, as you know, but no I don't think it's wrong to want that. But some happy medium has to be created with your spouse or face that you're simply not compatible. Warm thoughts on this toughy.

SexyRed -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 8:20:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moki1984 I am a married woman. to a vnailla man. and after some time and hardship i have come to realize this is what i ultimately want... many slaves male and female with different obligations BUT one male Dominate over Me to satisfty My masochistic wantings. is this wrong? I feel terrible because My vanilla husband thinks bdsm is rather.......wrong What is your point? You want everything, your cake and eat it too, what else is new. Everyone wants that, acting upon it is another story and one that YOU need to decide upon, no matter what our opinions are, after all, it is your life.

NefertariReborn -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 8:46:43 PM)
It's the husband or the subbies + Dominant. Hubby could try to fake it and go along but I sorta bet after a week or two of mr. right subbie walking around calling you Mistress and you grinning like a cheshire ....he'd start to be pissed off and resentful. JMHO of course. Decide which is more important to you and move fully in that direction. What about hubby being dominant in your life or is it M/s on the whole that he thinks is wrong?

SunNMoon -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 10:43:58 PM)
I think what you want is wrong, not at all. But the problem is that in your current relationship it doesn’t sound like this is possible. Your husband doesn’t sound from what you have written that he is going to be able to support you in finding a dom and subs. And if you do it won’t make him happy, which isn’t good for the relationship you have with him, yet at the same time the question is then are you happy within your current relationship? If you’re not then are you willing for the possibility of losing your husband to have the dom and subs? I’m assuming you’ve talked to him about this need you have? Because right now it sounds like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sorry if this doesn’t make to much sense, I’m up way past my bedtime.

MistressLorelei -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/24/2007 11:50:46 PM)
Is it wrong to want what you say you want? Not at all, but it is wrong to get it if it's without your husband's knowledge. If you committed to be honest and faithful in your marriage, then you should be or change your situation.... either by encouraging your husband to participate in your dreams, or by changing your marital status. Otherwise accept what is. Pehaps ask yourself if it would be right for your husband to find intimate/sexual fulfillment with others and without your knowledge/consent? A relationship with deception and without communication will likely leave one or more parties unfulfilled enough to cause the destruction of the relationship anyway. Stick with the decision you made, or find a mutually satisfying way to amend it... or end things and find the one(s) who will make you feel complete. Asking a bunch of strangers if your desires are wrong isn't going to solve your dilemma.

BeachMystress -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 12:25:52 AM)
This is a lifestyle about trust. If you go behind your husband's back (which you've not said, other than that he thinks BDSM is wrong) then in my opinion you're doing wrong. If your husband is fully aware of what you plan to do then why would it be wrong?

Satyr6406 -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 12:54:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moki1984 many slaves male and female with different obligations BUT one male Dominate over Me to satisfty My masochistic wantings. You don't need a male dominant to satisfy your masochistic wantings. You need a sadist (or, a truly service-oriented submissive) Peace and comfort, Michael

ShyMistress -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 1:14:16 AM)
In My own opinion, no what you want is not "wrong". It is the very position I find Myself in and I enjoy My way of living the lifestyle, and find it perfect for Me. However, to either take your desires into action without his consent, or worse even his knowledge...well, that is to many morally wrong. I do feel for you and the position you are in, but honesty and the respect your husband deserves as your spouse do deserve at least that much. As for My opinion on what to do, be honest and like others have already said...decide what is best for not only you but your husband and move towards that decision. I do include your husband with yourself in this as not only is he human and deserving of your honesty, but in reality what person whom truly loves another would want that person unhappy? You may find that he won't be able to join you in your activities, but at least he then he can take into consideration what you need and either step out of the picture, or be open to a different relationship with you (ie: allows the exploration of your sexuality). Wishing you the best luck in finding your happy ending...

DiurnalVampire -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 1:18:59 AM)
It is never wrong to want. I want many things. Some I can get, some I cannot. If your vanilla husband is so extremely against BDSM, you have to make a decision. Him or it, I dont see a compromise there. DV

PairOfDimes -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 5:19:11 AM)
I don't think it's wrong to want kinky things when your spouse doesn't. People have different tastes, and surely you and he have some other separate hobbies and interests. Although, if he actually thinks it's ethically wrong to do BDSM, then you might have difficulty presenting it as a matter of taste. I would think it would be wrong if you indulged these desires without the consent of your spouse. If you indulged some of these desires with your husband's consent and that made him less happy with your relationship, but he still preferred being in the relationship to not being in it, I think that would be perfectly okay. Partnership and marriage are about compromise, and alas, not every compromise is a win-win.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 5:23:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moki1984 I am a married woman. to a vnailla man. and after some time and hardship i have come to realize this is what i ultimately want... many slaves male and female with different obligations BUT one male Dominate over Me to satisfty My masochistic wantings. is this wrong? I feel terrible because My vanilla husband thinks bdsm is rather.......wrong no, this is not wrong. i have said it many times in the past, humans are not a monogamous species by nature, it is a choice dictated by society.

adoracat -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 8:02:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia quote: ORIGINAL: moki1984 I am a married woman. to a vnailla man. and after some time and hardship i have come to realize this is what i ultimately want... many slaves male and female with different obligations BUT one male Dominate over Me to satisfty My masochistic wantings. is this wrong? I feel terrible because My vanilla husband thinks bdsm is rather.......wrong no, this is not wrong. i have said it many times in the past, humans are not a monogamous species by nature, it is a choice dictated by society. i'll disagree slightly, michael. some people truly are monogamous, and couldnt fathom being otherwise. some people wish to spread their pollen as widely as possible (as it were). the feelings arent wrong, definitely. chosing to act in a manner that you know is going to hurt your partner, that could be extremely disasterous. kitten, who also has a very vanilla spouse, but who isnt monogamous.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 8:06:42 AM)
Do YOU feel it's wrong? In deciding what's right for you, no one's opinion really means squat, including your husband's. Now, what you DO have to pay attention to is how your loved one will react to your actions and choices...and you have to be able to deal with whatever those reactions might be. So, if he's threatened to leave if you find all these things and you decide to be true to yourself, be mentally and emotionally prepared that he will leave. Master Fire

MisPandora -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 8:46:51 AM)
Not sure that I have an opinion, given that your situation doesn't really affect me as a female dominant. Perhaps your situation might best be expressed in the ask a submissive or master board for some maledom/femsub feedbck? To thine own self be true.

CollegeSub09 -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 9:51:08 AM)
Before you try persuading him to accept people from out of the relationship as slaves (which will take time anyways, as searching is not easy), i would reconmend persuading him to take a more dominant role in your life. By this i do not mean giving him paddles and telling him to spank you if you do something he doesnt like, that can be worked up to, but for now just work on him being more assertive when you dont do something he "asks" or tells you to do. My ex-girlfriend (non BDSM related breakup) used to dislike the whole scene. Told me it was, and i'm sorry for saying it but it's her words, "stupid and weird and pointless" but finally she grew to embrace my role as a submissive. We ended up back together for a while with me being her sub and she loved every bit of it. He may end up liking it if you can get him to give it a shot, if not, then it's innevitable that wont have this lifestyle with him.

LordVelvet -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 11:50:05 AM)
I sent you an email on the otherside. LordVelvet

moki1984 -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 12:06:10 PM)
I never should of posted this. Im getting somuch shit from people in my mail. NO I AM NOT DOING THIS BEHIND HIS BACK jesus christ I forgot how much people on this site will jump all over you without knowing the entire situation

LordVelvet -> RE: is this wrong to want (7/25/2007 12:13:29 PM)
moki, I hope that you didn't feel that way about what I sent. I was just trying to help. sorry if I offended you. LordVelvet

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