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RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/26/2007 9:04:20 PM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Please allow me to introduce my self my name is Don/chains314, i am 55 years old.   i live in St. Louis MO. I am a submissive in search of an old school type Mistress.  i have been in the BDSM life style for over 25 years and i have served old guard style for 19 years.  I am a service oriented sub/slave, i can serve in many ways; maid, house boy, yard person, chauffeur, errand boy, or just about any position one would wish me to serve.    i have many items in my toy box that will allow you to help me conform  to the slave you desire.  Some of my interests include strict discipline, cuffs, chains, collars, gags, cages, house work and serving as a maid.  i have 4 French maids uniforms and one Long Victorian maids uniform, i love high heels . i make most of my things.  i love building bondage furniture and doing leather work.  Due to past experiences i am reluctant to try some activities but i am open to exploring once a foundation of trust has been established.  My hard limits are dangerous activity within reason, illegal activity within reason, electro play within reason. i would like to find a Dominant Women with the same interests to serve as a partner friend and Mistress.  For approximately the next year, i can not relocate permanently but being self employed (i am a builder i reproduce or repair Victorian homes) i can make time to devote to a Mistress in service and friendship i can travel occasionally.  If you think i can be of service to you perhaps you would grant me the honor and privilege of serving You in that way.  One of my personal hobbies is my Passion for the Victorian/Edwardian life style i have a vast library on the Victorian ERA if any one would wish any info on it i would be pleased to e mail it to them.   Sincerely and Humbly, chains 314  



(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/26/2007 9:05:49 PM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		thats what i send on the first note

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/26/2007 9:06:26 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		It would twist my head around to get this letter.  It is clearly a form letter.  If it's something you would say to everyone, then put it in your profile!  A letter sent to an individual should reflect your interests *in her.*  Gah.  This idea seems so obvious that it shouldn't need saying.

I just read your profile, and it is essentially the same as your form letter.  If I noticed this when you sent it to me -- and I would -- I would come away with the impression that you had exhausted your store of things to say about yourself.  Not a good impression. 

Yes, it's been a looooooong week,
MSS

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 7/26/2007 9:17:51 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/26/2007 9:26:42 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Form letter, same as your profile.  I wouldn't bother to reply.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/26/2007 9:41:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I agree with the others, after reading the entire thread. (its a very slow night) The form letter will likely disqualify you with the vast majority of Dominants. If you do not make some indication that you have read their profile and made some sort of effort to speak directly TO them and not send something you send to everyone then you dont really merit a respone.  Why should we make an effort to reply to someone who has made none to write to us?  Thats obviously your first major problem. The spell check would definately help, since reading a very poorly written letter is difficult enough. And when some of us are getting tons of email that can be a disqualifier too.

Just my 2 cents
DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 4:07:06 AM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		How do you see it as a form letter when responding for  a first  time one dont know much about the person except what is on ther profill and moust i have seen tont say much about them self . 

I am getting from this one should send all the info you can about your self to some one you dont even know yet .when you get very littal from them at first 

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 4:32:26 AM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well DV if it is perley writen  then no one could send one  that would be excipatel .i ask a Mistress that offerd to help me write  and she did . .it tells fplks about me what i do it dont get personal it should not  .i get a lot of  responce on it moust positive . 

What i ask was why is it so hard to find a Mistress on here that wonts a good service sub it seems to me thay clam to but then dont have a clue about what good service is  maybe i have old fashend  adas . or am to old garde  but i dont see meny on her that truley wonts service subs .

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 4:48:47 AM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		In the age of the Internet, the dreaded "asl" has become a kiss of death to most people.  There's no thought put into it, and it doesn't show who you are.  The previous posters were correct in that you should put that letter as your profile, but there's no 'life' to it if you were to send it to a potential Mistress.  The letter or message of introduction to them needs to be personal, and reflect who you are.  If you are a bad typist in real life, and your 1st letter is completely different, I would think that a Mistress would be thinking 'faker'. 

Just be who you are in your letters, be honest, and make an effort to find out about them.  Oh, and take things slow!  Don't harass them over and over if they want to take their time replying to you.  They usually get far more messages than us males, and like I pointed out earlier, they have a much larger selection of people to choose from. So to get their attention you need to rise above and make then want to get to know you better.  You'll probably have a lot of strike-outs, but that's just the nature of the game. 

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 5:28:38 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Well DV if it is perley writen  then no one could send one  that would be excipatel .i ask a Mistress that offerd to help me write  and she did . .it tells fplks about me what i do it dont get personal it should not  .i get a lot of  responce on it moust positive . 

What i ask was why is it so hard to find a Mistress on here that wonts a good service sub it seems to me thay clam to but then dont have a clue about what good service is  maybe i have old fashend  adas . or am to old garde  but i dont see meny on her that truley wonts service subs .



Well I think we can safely say that if the Domme wants someone to serve as a secretary, you would be out of luck.

So let's look see where we're at:

1.   You need to run spell check on your contacts because your spelling is horrible, and it DOES count when you first contact a Domme - believe me, good grammar and spelling are NOT "old fashend  adas".

2.   You need to make sure you're following through on a regular basis.

3.  You need to not just cut and paste form letters to a potential Domme - write her an email based on her profiles, her posts on here - start a conversation rather than go "here's all the basic information about me - make a decision NOW if you're interested or not".

4.   You also need to lose the attitude that Dommes " clam to but then dont have a clue about what good service is" - believe me, there are plenty of Dommes that DO get service subs and seek them out, but when you say things like this, you come across as snotty, holier than thou, and inflexible (not good qualities in a potential sub,eh?).



_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 7:12:56 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Well the time for relocate is about how long it would tack to get every thing in order to move no one would just drop every thing and move to some one with out getting to know them

I said nothing to you about relocation, so perhaps you meant this reply for someone else?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 7:14:52 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Please allow me to introduce my self my name is Don/chains314, i am 55 years old.   i live in St. Louis MO. I am a submissive in search of an old school type Mistress.  i have been in the BDSM life style for over 25 years and i have served old guard style for 19 years.  I am a service oriented sub/slave, i can serve in many ways; maid, house boy, yard person, chauffeur, errand boy, or just about any position one would wish me to serve.    i have many items in my toy box that will allow you to help me conform  to the slave you desire.  Some of my interests include strict discipline, cuffs, chains, collars, gags, cages, house work and serving as a maid.  i have 4 French maids uniforms and one Long Victorian maids uniform, i love high heels . i make most of my things.  i love building bondage furniture and doing leather work.  Due to past experiences i am reluctant to try some activities but i am open to exploring once a foundation of trust has been established.  My hard limits are dangerous activity within reason, illegal activity within reason, electro play within reason. i would like to find a Dominant Women with the same interests to serve as a partner friend and Mistress.  For approximately the next year, i can not relocate permanently but being self employed (i am a builder i reproduce or repair Victorian homes) i can make time to devote to a Mistress in service and friendship i can travel occasionally.  If you think i can be of service to you perhaps you would grant me the honor and privilege of serving You in that way.  One of my personal hobbies is my Passion for the Victorian/Edwardian life style i have a vast library on the Victorian ERA if any one would wish any info on it i would be pleased to e mail it to them.   Sincerely and Humbly, chains 314  

thats what i send them


I could swear that's a duplicate of your profile.  That's a waste of my time, IMO.  Really, I could have gone and looked at that.  If you have nothing more than your profile to say to the woman, why are you approaching her?  Why not try talking to HER specifically as to why you're approaching HER, what you have to offer that is unique, and how you'd be able to serve?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/27/2007 7:16:36 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

How do you see it as a form letter when responding for  a first  time one dont know much about the person except what is on ther profill and moust i have seen tont say much about them self . 

I am getting from this one should send all the info you can about your self to some one you dont even know yet .when you get very littal from them at first 

You don't seem to want to hear what all of us are saying.

It's a copy of your profile, nothing more.  You've done absolutely nothing to personalize it to the person you're sending it to (even if you put her name at the top.)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/28/2007 4:39:44 AM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Normally, one reads the email before viewing a profile.  If interested, a Domme may go and look at your profile for more information about you.  However, if your profile says the exact same thing as your email, what are they to think?  1) This guy sends this to every Domme on CM, 2) He doesn't have an original thought in his head, how could he ever be an interesting sub? or 3)  Ehhh....delete.
Instead, try writing an email based on HER profile.  Tell her you enjoyed reading it, maybe a few lines about who you are as a person (but not your kinks...they can find that out if they want to know!) and close it with a polite and sincere statement.  Always acknowledge that they took the time to read, and maybe even reply to you, with a short thank you.
This way, you come off as a more interesting person, and probably will be better thought of than if you send a form letter describing your fetishes and likes.
Just a thought!

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:35:56 AM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I once had  an older man working for me he could not read or wright but he was the best finish carpenter in the business  we took a restoration job no one would do because it had so much fine finish work on it we completed it because he had a gift for wood working that house was the Scot Joplin house it is now one of ST.Louise's old master peaces .So when we judge other's on things like spelling or grammar we over look the talent thy may have

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:41:26 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

I once had  an older man working for me he could not read or wright but he was the best finish carpenter in the business <snip>


Actually, in fairly common parlance he would be a wright.

Ron(ne)


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:42:12 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Please allow me to introduce my self my name is Don/chains314, i am 55 years old.   i live in St. Louis MO. I am a submissive in search of an old school type Mistress.  i have been in the BDSM life style for over 25 years and i have served old guard style for 19 years.  I am a service oriented sub/slave, i can serve in many ways; maid, house boy, yard person, chauffeur, errand boy, or just about any position one would wish me to serve.    i have many items in my toy box that will allow you to help me conform  to the slave you desire.  Some of my interests include strict discipline, cuffs, chains, collars, gags, cages, house work and serving as a maid.  i have 4 French maids uniforms and one Long Victorian maids uniform, i love high heels . i make most of my things.  i love building bondage furniture and doing leather work.  Due to past experiences i am reluctant to try some activities but i am open to exploring once a foundation of trust has been established.  My hard limits are dangerous activity within reason, illegal activity within reason, electro play within reason. i would like to find a Dominant Women with the same interests to serve as a partner friend and Mistress.  For approximately the next year, i can not relocate permanently but being self employed (i am a builder i reproduce or repair Victorian homes) i can make time to devote to a Mistress in service and friendship i can travel occasionally.  If you think i can be of service to you perhaps you would grant me the honor and privilege of serving You in that way.  One of my personal hobbies is my Passion for the Victorian/Edwardian life style i have a vast library on the Victorian ERA if any one would wish any info on it i would be pleased to e mail it to them.   Sincerely and Humbly, chains 314  





OMG! I got this letter......too damn funny.  I wonder if I replied?  probably with my typical "no thank you" when I can tell they didn't read my profile....*heads  off to check mail archives*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:43:49 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		i've tried many rewrites of my profile over the years, and still can't find a Mistress...go figure

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:46:18 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

I once had  an older man working for me he could not read or wright but he was the best finish carpenter in the business  we took a restoration job no one would do because it had so much fine finish work on it we completed it because he had a gift for wood working that house was the Scot Joplin house it is now one of ST.Louise's old master peaces .So when we judge other's on things like spelling or grammar we over look the talent thy may have


Right, but the point that you keep missing is that when you choose to use a written format to make contact with someone, then yes, grammar and spelling count.

I wouldn't hire someone whose resume was riddled with typos, and I wouldn't maintain contact with a sub online whose emails were so badly written I had to guess at what they were trying to say, particularly when simply running what they'd written through spellcheck would dramatically improve them.  If they weren't interested enough to make an effort to communicate effectively, then that would say to me they aren't all that interested in serving me.

First impressions count.   Period.

But it is, of course, your choice.  You asked why you are having trouble meeting someone, and you've been offered suggestions regarding why you're not making the contacts you want to make.  Either you can ignore the issues that were brought up and hope that you find someone regardless, or you can make some changes and help stack the deck more in your favor. 

But wouldn't it make sense that if a bunch of Dommes are telling you the same thing is a problem - that maybe it IS?

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 7/29/2007 5:50:41 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to chains314)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:48:02 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i've tried many rewrites of my profile over the years, and still can't find a Mistress...go figure



Because it's not your profile that you need to work on.   

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: why is it so hard to find a Mistress that wonts a g... - 7/29/2007 5:48:58 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		perhaps, Ma'am

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 60
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