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does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 7:34:27 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		it is said that submisson is a gift  if this is true.
may i ask why is it that some  Master/D/Ds require some  earn   favour and is this part of any sub to gain favour too earn a task ?


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switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 7:37:16 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael
it is said that submisson is a gift  if this is true.
may i ask why is it that some  Master/D/Ds require some  earn   favour and is this part of any sub to gain favour too earn a task ?

Because they want to play power games rather than build a solid foundation.

I'd be ok with them working to earn a privilege or special treat- but not for the relationship.  And while a relationship DOES entail work and they would be expected to do that, the relationship isn't a treat or favor for me.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to steviemichael)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 12:01:19 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		My relationship is not a treat or a favor for me either. My submission is not a gift. That would mean I didn't expect anything in return for my giving him my power and submitting to his will. I expect one hell of a lot and I get it. I don't understand this game playing that I read so much about. I submit to a loving, intelligent, and worthy dominant who treats me like a real person and not some plaything. Well, unless he wants me to be his slutty plaything who can't get enough of him!

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“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 1:49:11 PM   
Vampyrefledgling


Posts: 91
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline 		I concur. As much as I am submissive, I wish to be submissive to a man who loves me and will take care of me, not one who will use me and throw me away. Think of it this way, what sort of good man would treat anything he really cared about like garbage? Take it a step further and think, why should I give myself and everything I am to a man who would treat me, my body, my soul like garbage? Beyond the realm of BDSM, we are human beings. Submissives (slaves) but human beings. We serve our Masters, we belong to them, but we do not deserve to be abused (in a negative way).

Your submission is a gift, just like His Dominance is a gift.

~Fledgling.

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 5:24:24 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		how about I earn your respect and you earn mine?  Head games and stupid child's play have no place in this life for me.  You want to give me a gift?  Make sure my car is washed and vaccummed the day I need to drive it wearing a white dress. 

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Vampyrefledgling)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 7:58:09 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

how about I earn your respect and you earn mine?  Head games and stupid child's play have no place in this life for me.  You want to give me a gift?  Make sure my car is washed and vaccummed the day I need to drive it wearing a white dress. 

LOL....what she said.....


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*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 9:13:58 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

how about I earn your respect and you earn mine?  Head games and stupid child's play have no place in this life for me.  You want to give me a gift?  Make sure my car is washed and vaccummed the day I need to drive it wearing a white dress. 

LOL....what she said.....



*S*

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/26/2007 9:19:56 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		gift? not sure, it could be.

but the gift goes both ways.

for one, the sub is putting her/his heart, mind and soul (and oftentimes her very life) in her Master's hands, that is a gift she/he gives I suppose., her trust.

the Masters gift, is to use that girl/boy wisely and safely (unless she is predisposed to aching further, yet all done in accordance to their limit pushing barriers discussions)and to bring her back soundly until the next time.

I can hardly wait for Christmas now , but looks like another empty box coming my way LOL.

(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/27/2007 10:19:41 AM   
bliss1


Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline 		I love how you worded this came4U.

I do not think enough of us who believe that an emotional gift is as real as a physical one.  For me - my subimission is a gift from the heart since not just anyone can get me to serve or cause my heart to stir with the desire to serve.

It is good to be reminded that a Dom is also giving from his heart (at least the ones that cause me to want to serve).

Thank you




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Witch before, during, and after my coffee.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/27/2007 3:03:49 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Its really kind of like Jelly...

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Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to bliss1)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/27/2007 3:16:04 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

it is said that submisson is a gift  if this is true.
may i ask why is it that some  Master/D/Ds require some  earn   favour and is this part of any sub to gain favour too earn a task ?



In my eyes, submission isn't  "gift" that sub or switch hands out to a master/D/Ds. My submission is something in which a Dom has to earn and thuis I too have to earn a Master's dominance.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to steviemichael)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/27/2007 3:20:25 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Its really kind of like Jelly...


LOL


(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: does a sub earn or is it a gift we give ? - 7/28/2007 2:40:56 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		This is all so confusing to me. I view a D/s relationship like any other it takes time to grow. I dominate lots of people without their consent  but that doesn't mean I have a partner type sexual relationship with them. The type of relationship is the key. Because it defines the areas of domination and submission. And the areas define how the gifts of domination and submission are earned or exchanged. 
But yes a sub/slave has to earn the right to serve me by showing me just what kind of man he is. I in return will earn the right to dominate him by showing him the woman I am (or not as the case maybe) if of course he gives me time to do that. I don't judge a prospective slaves worth as a human being that is not for me to say. I judge his 'rightness' for me.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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