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RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 11:22:36 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

LOL again coming back from Leather Retreat which had open alcohol policy and a huge party on Saturday night in which there was free alcohol flowing and a LOT of great play and sex going on...that's just not true.


Glad you think it is humorous. The guy I know who happens to be sitting in prison right now for rape doesn't think so. Nor do countless other's when scenes have gone bad because someone has been intoxicated.

True or not....wait until it is your turn for prison...then laugh.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 11:24:40 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Glad you think it is humorous. The guy I know who happens to be sitting in prison right now for rape doesn't think so. Nor do countless other's when scenes have gone bad because someone has been intoxicated.

True or not....wait until it is your turn for prison...then laugh.


As opposed to what happens when VANILLAS drink?

I never said that people can become irresponsible, including when they drink.

But the fact is that people do drink publicly and PLAY publicly in a very responsible manner all the time.

Sorry, I'm still coming down from the high of an event and it's funny for me after SEEING hundreds of people doing it to come back and hear someone say how irresponsible and wrong it is.


(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 11:32:33 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry, I'm still coming down from the high of an event and it's funny for me after SEEING hundreds of people doing it to come back and hear someone say how irresponsible and wrong it is.


I am aware people do it all of the time. It doesn't make it any less irresponsible. Like I said, I have a very good friend in prison right now for rape. All because he made an error in judgement on his part by allowing the submissive to consent while intoxicated.
When she woke up she pressed charges.

So, if anything at all went wrong be prepared to testify in court. You could have beena a witness.
I do not allow alcohol at my parties because quite frankly too much can go wrong and the lifestyle already has such a bad outlook to the rest of the world. Why should I be part of sullying it further?

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 11:34:43 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Bad things happen, people make mistakes.

That doesn't mean the thing itself is wrong or bad.

I can understand you choosing not to do it or have it become a possibility.

That doesn't mean it's wrong or bad or that everyone will be irresponsible.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 12:39:49 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		At our dungeon you have to be 21. There is NO alcohol allowed, and if you've been drinking you will not be admitted. At the munch, since it is held in an open public place 18 is the age. Although we have a TNG group as well.

If you want to be foolish enough to "play" with someone who has been drinking, No actually, just plain stupid, you deserve whatever you get.

Just cause you can (drink) doesn't make it smart.

P.S.- just curious, do you have a learning disability?






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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 1:03:44 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

If you want to be foolish enough to "play" with someone who has been drinking, No actually, just plain stupid, you deserve whatever you get.

Just cause you can (drink) doesn't make it smart.

P.S.- just curious, do you have a learning disability?


No, while the boyfriend has a slight dyslexia, I'm not aware of anyone else at the retreat having one either.

I'm sorry the reality that people can drink responsibly and be able to do other things escapes you.

I personally don't drink alcohol for a host of reasons, but I find play partners who know how to do it responsibly. When the boyfriend got inebriated, we made several jokes about how he wasn't able to play. However, when my Boston partner had a drink, I had no problem playing with him. We are aware of our limits, tolerances and abilities at all times.

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 1:24:04 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Emerald - you know I respect you and your views (hey - can ya just hear that b-b-b-b-u-u) -

But(told ya...lol) - although the people who had taken a drink may 'think' they are fully aware - they will be less aware than usual - it's just fact. It then doesn't mean that they don't think they are in total control, and possibly, they are in reasonable control - but that doesn't mean that they are fully.

If you drink and drive - theres a terrible risk.

If You take drugs - risk.

And yes - risk awareness is the key - which is how I see the situation - but if I had chose to play with someone drunk, or used drugs during a scene - I would be Risk aware. But that wouldn't make it right or sensible - just means I am aware of the risk and take responsibility for it.
(On a side note, personally, I wouldn't do that)

It's like knife play - it can be risky - but I chose to partake in it because I am aware the risk, even though it may be inherently unsafe, no matter how well trained a person may be.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 4:58:39 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I personally don't drink alcohol for a host of reasons, but I find play partners who know how to do it responsibly.


I think that people have a choice to drink, to play, to not play with someone who drinks and to not drink with someone who plays ;)

That said, I might have a single glass of wine or a martini and still play. But I would never play intoxicated. Actually, I just rarely get intoxicated. Then again, I have a glass of wine or port almost every day. It is my european up bringing.

I believe this issue is a limits issue just like any other.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 5:36:08 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

I'm sorry the reality that people can drink responsibly and be able to do other things escapes you.


LMAO!!! Yes, it escapes me.

Like I said . . . . .If you want to be foolish enough to "play" with someone who has been drinking, No actually, just plain stupid, you deserve whatever you get.

Cause in the end everybodys idea of what is "responsible drinking" is going to be different.

It all comes down to common sense. I don't consider a single glass of wine "drinking". Drinking usually incurs more then one.






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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 5:44:53 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		Alcohol tends to impair judgement and reduce inbhibitions.... probably not a good thing when you are talking about getting into a situation where things can potentially go wrong. I might trust someone to play with me unimpaired, but I would have a hard time trusting that their judgement would remain intact if they were inebriated.


(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 5:58:57 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I don't consider a single glass of wine "drinking". Drinking usually incurs more then one.


Again, a question of perception. Ever since I was about 14, I have had a glass of wine with my supper. It is the way my father was raised and if I have children, probably how they will be raised as well.

Now one glass of wine is not going to intoxicate me or impair my judgement. That said, I have a few friends that drink occasionally and get tipsy and silly after one drink. So it’s a question of knowing what our own personal limits are. I would never, ever play with someone if I felt that I was not in control.

Now this comes back to my original point about limits. Sure people can say “I refuse to play with anyone who has had any alcohol 6 hours”. That is their prerogative. Making a value judgement on those that don’t have such strict constraints isn’t necessary however.

Would I play with a drunken sub? Nope. I remember my boy meeting up with me after having had a few drinks with the boys and he said “are you going to tie me up and use me?” and I said “no – I’m going to toss you in the shower and get the smell of brewery off of you”. Poor little thing wanted to play ;) I can be so mean. Point is, I like playing when I have all my wits and senses and with people who have all their wits and senses.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 6/28/2005 6:00:18 PM >

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 6:52:26 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Well, I'd play with the partner when we've been drinking. I dunno, we've done enough stupid stuff that could get us both killed while sober...eh. I figure we're adult enough together to make decent choices.

I wouldn't, however, play with anyone else though if they'd been drinking. If they were sober, I was drinking, and my partner was there...that'sa different story. I dunno. I'm an adult, if I choose something, well, I chose it.

I wouldn't choose to play with someone who was intoxicated, I tihnk, simply because that opens me to too many liability issues.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/28/2005 10:14:41 PM   
sweetchelle


Posts: 2
Status: offline 		Our local munches are usually 21 and up. I agree with this even though there is no alcohol at our munches or play parties.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/29/2005 6:11:52 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
We have the right and the ability to disagree with anothers standpoint - but I think it's a little bit harsh to claim someone or something is foolish, just because it's not something you may do, if it isn't effecting you on a personal level.

Knife play could be foolish - breath play - suspension play - catheters - even body piercing can be foolish to some.
Everything has a risk - and as long as Emerald and others who play whilst enjoying a drink are aware of the risk - then that's really all that matters.

One doesn't have to understand anothers kink/choice/decision or accept it for themself - but respecting their choice is a mature and wonderful release.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/29/2005 6:17:07 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Personally if "getting what I deserve" means multiple stable relationships that enjoy a wide variety of kink and vanilla activities...well I support more people doing it!

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/29/2005 5:07:24 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The one reason for not having 18 and 19 year olds that I have not seen here is the idea of media exposure. If the unexpected and unthinkable happens and local authorities raid a club/dungeon, then you can expect the media to pick up the story and the Headlines will no doubt read:

TEENS ARRESTED AT S&M CLUB

Avoiding the PR nightmare that would follow is the best reason for 21 and over rules.


In Leather

Archer

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/29/2005 5:22:06 PM   
Tempestspet


Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline 		a comment was made.... while drinking, you are not fully aware.

How many here, can say that while in sub space they are fully aware? I'm willing to bet not everyone. But, not everyone who has had a drink is completely smashed....

Sorry to hear about the guy in prison, but I'm willing to bet she'd have done the same thing sober or drunk... she was just that kinda person...or at least I bet she was, not knowing her myself. But I've seen plenty of that in both vanilla, and kink....more so in the vanilla side though....

Perspective people, we need to keep that in mind.

Can something happen while drinking, be it one or six? Of course it can. But do not attack those who are doing something you don't like. Just don't do it yourself. And make your choice to go where you want, based on the activities available.

Shouldn't it all just be that simple?..smiles...


Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 6/30/2005 2:56:46 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tempestspet

a comment was made.... while drinking, you are not fully aware.

How many here, can say that while in sub space they are fully aware? I'm willing to bet not everyone. But, not everyone who has had a drink is completely smashed....

Sorry to hear about the guy in prison, but I'm willing to bet she'd have done the same thing sober or drunk... she was just that kinda person...or at least I bet she was, not knowing her myself. But I've seen plenty of that in both vanilla, and kink....more so in the vanilla side though....

Perspective people, we need to keep that in mind.

Can something happen while drinking, be it one or six? Of course it can. But do not attack those who are doing something you don't like. Just don't do it yourself. And make your choice to go where you want, based on the activities available.

Shouldn't it all just be that simple?..smiles...


Tempest's pet
jennifer


=======================================
quote:


Shouldn't it all just be that simple?..smiles...


Tempest's pet
-----------------------
sometimes it is over simplified and made complex. it should-be as you say. but there is never a guarantee.
thanks

jennifer

(in reply to Tempestspet)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Question for "real time" please.../age - 7/8/2005 1:19:46 AM   
Temji


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Tal, Archer...

***grin***... besides the teen headline... how 'bout the fact that they're KIDS??? some 18 year olds haven't gotten out of high school yet...

yah... I want a high school senior talking about what s/he was doing at the local dungeon on friday night... and I want a dad comin lookin for the Guy with the flogger...

those are just thoughts...

My personal opinion... the older I get, the older potential partners have to be... lifestyle or vanilla... the days of the 18-21 crowd are even further gone than the 21-30 days...

again... just thoughts.. our local dungeon is 21, and I like it like that...

Temji KnightStorm

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 39
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