quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

It's probably because of all the negative responses he got on here. Any time a male sub ask these types of questions , the blame is automatically put on him and he gets put down by the majority of the dommes in this forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Ive spent quite a few years now trying to find a Mistress but without any real look is there any tips anyone can give me?? thanks.


I dint see were it seas he is new at this

I think of the OP writing back is a big problem right now in this thread.

I asked for specifics about what he has done.

Honestly how can any of us offer what might be helpful advice or suggestions until we have an idea of what he has done?

It's probably because of all the negative responses he got on here. Any time a male sub ask these types of questions , the blame is automatically put on him and he gets put down by the majority of the dommes in this forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

maybe if your first words weren't akin to "punish me I'm a bad boy"  you'd have better luck.  you sound like a do me who has no interest in real submission but wants to wank off to a spanking.

There is nothing wrong about him expressing that he wants to be punished or what ever he desires. It is WHAT HE WANTS. It seems that most dommes in here think that a male sub doesn't have the right to express or think what he wants or desires. A lot of dommes in here seem to think it's all about them (do me dommes), and they expect a male to have a blank mind or someone who can't think for himself. One minute dommes complain about male subs not knowing what they really want and than the next minute dommes complain about subs who do express and know what they want. SO what is the correct approach for male subs? Female bottoms/subs don't have a problem to only find sexual control so why is a male sub wrong for wanting it?

I believe in give and take. If a domme can give me what I want, I will go out of my way to give her what she wants. But she has to get turned on by what I like to or whats the point? So she does get some thing out of what I desire also. Why would a domme agree to take you on the first place if what ever the sub desired didn't turn them on? There is some one for everyone out there isn't there?.

You get a lot of people in this scene who try to make out that there is only one rule to BDSM and that means you mostly get controlled in a relationship perspective and not so much in a sexual way. No one is right and there is no "one rule". This guy is simply a bottom who needs a top, just like me. Not some domme that wants her sub to do her dishes or weed her bloody gardens because they are too useless to do it themselves. But some subs do like this type of thing so each to their own.

What bothers me is that the dommes who want to control a sub in a whole relationship and not only in a sexual way, seem to think they have a right to criticize a sub who only wants it in a sexual way. Does that mean a sub has the right to criticize a domme and call her a "do me domme" if she expects more control in a domestic and commitment view rather than in a sexual way?

Do these dommes honestly think that these male subs/bottoms are wrong and they don't have the right to express what they want and they shouldn't be in these types of sites?

Anyone who has a kink (no matter sexual or not) is entitled to be on this site and to express what they want, no matter sub or domme.

If you feel that BDSM should only be "one rule" than it's fair for our societies to accept vanilla sex but not bdsm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

LadyPact, I agree with you about local community, If I didn't have one close by, I think I would of been to scared to start exploring.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

Hrm...

Looks like naughtynick81 got placed on moderation.  Anybody know why?  I hope it's not for this thread.  I think it's fair to disagree with him, but I don't think he's violated any of the forum rules here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

[Think about it this way, if a female sub had the exact profile as mine or the OPs, she would get lucky within minutes on this site. But it takes most average looking guys years or they will never get it. It's been 5 years for me. Do you think men are validated to complain about this? The women (sub or domme) seem to complain about getting too much attention while any male is seen as a pathetic whiner for complaining about getting no attention. Who has the bigger problem and why is it validated to complain about the less bothersome problem but not the bigger problem?

When a male is getting no attention, everyone automatically puts the blame on him and they over look the fact that the women on these sites are so judgmental and picky it's just about impossible for the average looking guy to get what he wants.

No matter how I present myself, my average looking status wont even qualify for the below average looking women on this site. Its not fair.

If a female sub made the same thread as the OP, most people wouldn't put the blame on her. But does such a complaint exists from females?

If some of the women in this site spent less time looking in the mirror and paid more attention to their offers, they might be really surprised.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

maybe if your first words weren't akin to "punish me I'm a bad boy"  you'd have better luck.  you sound like a do me who has no interest in real submission but wants to wank off to a spanking.

There is nothing wrong about him expressing that he wants to be punished or what ever he desires. It is WHAT HE WANTS. It seems that most dommes in here think that a male sub doesn't have the right to express or think what he wants or desires. A lot of dommes in here seem to think it's all about them (do me dommes), and they expect a male to have a blank mind or someone who can't think for himself. One minute dommes complain about male subs not knowing what they really want and than the next minute dommes complain about subs who do express and know what they want. SO what is the correct approach for male subs? Female bottoms/subs don't have a problem to only find sexual control so why is a male sub wrong for wanting it?

I believe in give and take. If a domme can give me what I want, I will go out of my way to give her what she wants. But she has to get turned on by what I like to or whats the point? So she does get some thing out of what I desire also. Why would a domme agree to take you on the first place if what ever the sub desired didn't turn them on? There is some one for everyone out there isn't there?.

You get a lot of people in this scene who try to make out that there is only one rule to BDSM and that means you mostly get controlled in a relationship perspective and not so much in a sexual way. No one is right and there is no "one rule". This guy is simply a bottom who needs a top, just like me. Not some domme that wants her sub to do her dishes or weed her bloody gardens because they are too useless to do it themselves. But some subs do like this type of thing so each to their own.

What bothers me is that the dommes who want to control a sub in a whole relationship and not only in a sexual way, seem to think they have a right to criticize a sub who only wants it in a sexual way. Does that mean a sub has the right to criticize a domme and call her a "do me domme" if she expects more control in a domestic and commitment view rather than in a sexual way?

Do these dommes honestly think that these male subs/bottoms are wrong and they don't have the right to express what they want and they shouldn't be in these types of sites?

Anyone who has a kink (no matter sexual or not) is entitled to be on this site and to express what they want, no matter sub or domme.

If you feel that BDSM should only be "one rule" than it's fair for our societies to accept vanilla sex but not bdsm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveSubtoserve

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

maybe if your first words weren't akin to "punish me I'm a bad boy"  you'd have better luck.  you sound like a do me who has no interest in real submission but wants to wank off to a spanking.

There is nothing wrong about him expressing that he wants to be punished or what ever he desires. It is WHAT HE WANTS. It seems that most dommes in here think that a male sub doesn't have the right to express or think what he wants or desires. A lot of dommes in here seem to think it's all about them (do me dommes), and they expect a male to have a blank mind or someone who can't think for himself. One minute dommes complain about male subs not knowing what they really want and than the next minute dommes complain about subs who do express and know what they want. SO what is the correct approach for male subs? Female bottoms/subs don't have a problem to only find sexual control so why is a male sub wrong for wanting it?

I believe in give and take. If a domme can give me what I want, I will go out of my way to give her what she wants. But she has to get turned on by what I like to or whats the point? So she does get some thing out of what I desire also. Why would a domme agree to take you on the first place if what ever the sub desired didn't turn them on? There is some one for everyone out there isn't there?.

You get a lot of people in this scene who try to make out that there is only one rule to BDSM and that means you mostly get controlled in a relationship perspective and not so much in a sexual way. No one is right and there is no "one rule". This guy is simply a bottom who needs a top, just like me. Not some domme that wants her sub to do her dishes or weed her bloody gardens because they are too useless to do it themselves. But some subs do like this type of thing so each to their own.

What bothers me is that the dommes who want to control a sub in a whole relationship and not only in a sexual way, seem to think they have a right to criticize a sub who only wants it in a sexual way. Does that mean a sub has the right to criticize a domme and call her a "do me domme" if she expects more control in a domestic and commitment view rather than in a sexual way?

Do these dommes honestly think that these male subs/bottoms are wrong and they don't have the right to express what they want and they shouldn't be in these types of sites?

Anyone who has a kink (no matter sexual or not) is entitled to be on this site and to express what they want, no matter sub or domme.

If you feel that BDSM should only be "one rule" than it's fair for our societies to accept vanilla sex but not bdsm.

......excellent comments Nick! Great name for those Dommes who really are only as you say 'relationship Dommes- and not BDSM oriented or sexual' or as i might refer to them as 'Martha Stewart Dommes' ---- very well said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessinDallas

A Domme is NOT going to meet a sub at a public first.
I don't.
What a waste of time!
The trepidation is part of the FUN.
I am not here to cater to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintAllie

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

maybe if your first words weren't akin to "punish me I'm a bad boy"  you'd have better luck.  you sound like a do me who has no interest in real submission but wants to wank off to a spanking.

There is nothing wrong about him expressing that he wants to be punished or what ever he desires. It is WHAT HE WANTS. It seems that most dommes in here think that a male sub doesn't have the right to express or think what he wants or desires. A lot of dommes in here seem to think it's all about them (do me dommes), and they expect a male to have a blank mind or someone who can't think for himself. One minute dommes complain about male subs not knowing what they really want and than the next minute dommes complain about subs who do express and know what they want. SO what is the correct approach for male subs? Female bottoms/subs don't have a problem to only find sexual control so why is a male sub wrong for wanting it?

I believe in give and take. If a domme can give me what I want, I will go out of my way to give her what she wants. But she has to get turned on by what I like to or whats the point? So she does get some thing out of what I desire also. Why would a domme agree to take you on the first place if what ever the sub desired didn't turn them on? There is some one for everyone out there isn't there?.

You get a lot of people in this scene who try to make out that there is only one rule to BDSM and that means you mostly get controlled in a relationship perspective and not so much in a sexual way. No one is right and there is no "one rule". This guy is simply a bottom who needs a top, just like me. Not some domme that wants her sub to do her dishes or weed her bloody gardens because they are too useless to do it themselves. But some subs do like this type of thing so each to their own.

What bothers me is that the dommes who want to control a sub in a whole relationship and not only in a sexual way, seem to think they have a right to criticize a sub who only wants it in a sexual way. Does that mean a sub has the right to criticize a domme and call her a "do me domme" if she expects more control in a domestic and commitment view rather than in a sexual way?

Do these dommes honestly think that these male subs/bottoms are wrong and they don't have the right to express what they want and they shouldn't be in these types of sites?

Anyone who has a kink (no matter sexual or not) is entitled to be on this site and to express what they want, no matter sub or domme.

If you feel that BDSM should only be "one rule" than it's fair for our societies to accept vanilla sex but not bdsm.

I'm a bit late getting to this thread.. However on the whole I agree with this post.

regards Allie

As I see it, the problem with most of Nick's posts were not so much his ideas, many of which I share, but the way in which they were presented.  Resorting to calling others names does not help one make their points based on any facts or get your thoughts listened to with any credibility by those who don't share your ideas to begin with.  Instead it simply comes across as one angry rant followed by one and another which gets old really quick.  Nick also didn't seem to leave any "wiggle room" in what he had to say for those who choose to live different variations of this lifestyle than what he desires for himself.  

To my way of thinking, CM is a wonderful place for all of us to come together to share and discuss our diverse ideas, regardless of our orientation or the specific types of relationships that might appeal to us.  I hope it will continue to be a place where there's ample tolerance & respect provided to all those who honestly come to share (trolls aside), presumably without judgement from others in this lifestyle who each choose to live it differently than the rest of might decide when choosing for ourselves.  Tolerance of others whose acts & behaviors are "different" than what is considered "vanilla" is important to us all.  I hope it will be this way for all who come to share or learn about the lifestyle here on the boards for many years to come.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressCass

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessinDallas

A Domme is NOT going to meet a sub at a public first.
I don't.
What a waste of time!
The trepidation is part of the FUN.
I am not here to cater to them.

Hmmmm.....I guess I would have to ask "Pro or Lifestyle" before I could respond to that.

Cuz I most definately DO meet for the first time in public......I am still a woman and he can still overpower me if he is a psycho....fortunately for me I have only met 2 psychos since I joined the lifestyle.....but since I never gave them my land line phone number, address or real name and I met them IN PUBLIC I felt safe when I got home from the encounter. (Sullied but safe)