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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 4:58:37 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Again, where is the line between "You aren't mature enough to be in these waters, go back to the kiddie pool" and "Here, let's help you learn to swim better?"


Agreed, some people need the advice to get offline and seek professional help. That's a far cry from mocking them, or giving bad sarcastic non-advice. Or just posting smart-ass comments because one is bored and in a smart-assy mood, and not being genuine at all in one's responses (I don't mean to say that you, LA, are doing that, it's just a general reply to everyone using your quote).

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 6:32:08 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Benji, that's what I like about you, you say it like it is.
Some people shouldn't be on collarme.com they should be in psychiarty.com


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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 6:36:19 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Actually, I don't.  I say it how I think it is at that given moment.

Which is a distinction many people should learn to make.

Yours,


benji

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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 8:28:01 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		It’s a symbionic relationship some like to ask for advice and some like to feel useful by giving it. The challenge here is saying something not said by the last twenty people. That’s face it we all pretty much say the same old things all the time regardless of whether we are giving advice or just being sarcastic. I’m not sure why anyone would follow the advice of a stranger when they have friends and family better placed to give advice. I suppose a few people may have no one but asking for advice here is as useful as asking any old random stranger in the street. Imagine if you walked into a bar and shouted “Please help, my wife has found her gardening tools more fun than my penis.” Do you really expect everyone to take you seriously? Some will laugh at you, some will see you are at the end of your tether and others will just pretend you didn’t walk into that bar at all.

I never want to ignore someone because that’s the last thing they want. So accuse me of making fun of them but at least I don't ignore them.

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 7/28/2007 8:30:03 AM >

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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 8:30:37 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		most often people reply with helpful replies & it isn't what they want to hear...

that's when the drama factor kicks in... & people start posting boo-hoo threads about mean-sucky folk

I say to anyone who post a "please help me thread" they should create a poll with a list of acceptable replies.... this way we can eliminate all the whiney threads about how mean & sucky CM members are

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 10:12:52 AM   
LdyScarletDomina


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Imagine if you walked into a bar and shouted “Please help, my wife has found her gardening tools more fun than my penis.”



I am still trying to pick my self up from the floor after laughing myself off my computer chair.  Does it count if she has fun playing with the gardening tools AND the penis????

Lady Scarlet

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(in reply to FullCircle)
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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 10:42:48 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Again, where is the line between "You aren't mature enough to be in these waters, go back to the kiddie pool" and "Here, let's help you learn to swim better?"


Whose job is it to determine who gets to be in these waters and who should be run off?  Certainly not mine.  I might think someone is far fetched, but who am I to tell them they don't belong here?  I'd much rather someone hang around awhile and learn by observing than run them off feeling worse about themselves than when they came.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 10:52:22 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyScarletDomina

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Imagine if you walked into a bar and shouted “Please help, my wife has found her gardening tools more fun than my penis.”



I am still trying to pick my self up from the floor after laughing myself off my computer chair.  Does it count if she has fun playing with the gardening tools AND the penis????

Lady Scarlet


Not if it's the Sacateurs and the penis.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 10:55:59 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		The problem with that example is that we aren't exactly the same as a corner bar. Most of us gather here under a basic common element WIITWD, where the merits of garden implements over a RL penis is brought up.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 11:05:02 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

symbionic



Is this what happens when Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors have kids together?

A symmetry of people made bigger, stronger, faster, better than they were before?

Sinergy

p.s.  Or did you mean symbiotic?

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(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 11:36:21 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know but Word kept telling me it was 'Symbiotic' and that sounded like a drugs company so I opted for an alternative approach.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 11:38:43 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Noooo go away you red sqiggles it's symbionic I tells ya.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 12:20:42 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

Whose job is it to determine who gets to be in these waters and who should be run off?  Certainly not mine.  I might think someone is far fetched, but who am I to tell them they don't belong here?  I'd much rather someone hang around awhile and learn by observing than run them off feeling worse about themselves than when they came.

In general I agree.  Very few times have I actually been so bold as to suggest someone just needs to stop doing any of this and grow up first.

This is compounded of course by so MANY people who take the slighted offense at any whiff of criticism or challenge and immediately go into the "You're being mean to me, I'm taking my toys and going home" approach.  Are people really being mean, or are they just being too sensitive and not ready to grow?

It is indeed complicated.  But I think most people, most of the time, really do post what they think is best and there's a lot of good to be had.

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RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 12:42:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

In general I agree.  Very few times have I actually been so bold as to suggest someone just needs to stop doing any of this and grow up first.

This is compounded of course by so MANY people who take the slighted offense at any whiff of criticism or challenge and immediately go into the "You're being mean to me, I'm taking my toys and going home" approach.  Are people really being mean, or are they just being too sensitive and not ready to grow?

It is indeed complicated.  But I think most people, most of the time, really do post what they think is best and there's a lot of good to be had.


Okay, so the line you asked about in your previous post would probably really tilt in the direction of helping others learn to swim better.  I will agree with that.  I also agree that most people, most of the time, post what they think is best.  What I disagree with is that it's okay and fair to be mocking, poking fun of, ridiculing and otherwise demeaning others for asking something someone finds annoying (I don't think you've said this is OK).  And I think that's what the OP was about.  While everyone certainly has a right to do that on a message board, I tend to find that behavior more annoying and repulsive than the "stupidest" of questions.

Thanks for replying.  Your post had me concerned that you wanted a dictatorship type approach here, deciding who gets to stay and who doesn't.  Thanks for clarifying.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 12:44:38 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I will say that L.A. you are certainly NOT one of the offensive regular's we are talking about.
You are thoughtful, honest and say what you think in a realistic, what you NEED to hear but may not WANT to hear positive manner!

You do believe in tough love, but you are not someone that posts to belittle, embarass, put down, mock and trash other people to appear humorous.

Dang it, LA, how did I end up in your fan club?
You rock.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/28/2007 12:48:38 PM >

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 12:53:44 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

Whose job is it to determine who gets to be in these waters and who should be run off?  Certainly not mine.  I might think someone is far fetched, but who am I to tell them they don't belong here?  I'd much rather someone hang around awhile and learn by observing than run them off feeling worse about themselves than when they came.

In general I agree.  Very few times have I actually been so bold as to suggest someone just needs to stop doing any of this and grow up first.

This is compounded of course by so MANY people who take the slighted offense at any whiff of criticism or challenge and immediately go into the "You're being mean to me, I'm taking my toys and going home" approach.  Are people really being mean, or are they just being too sensitive and not ready to grow?

It is indeed complicated.  But I think most people, most of the time, really do post what they think is best and there's a lot of good to be had.


La, true.
If you think about it, giving advice in matters like this is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations.
And, how often do people asking for the advice ever get up and take action that they wouldn't "normally" take?
Not too often I'd guess.
"Wow! Whipmaster, you turned my whole LIFE around! Where do I send the check?"
And, why are they seeking advice from "non mental health professionals" when a lot of the issues brought up are mental health issues that I'd venture to guess, most of us aren't really qualified to deal with?
I have a "new kitten" thread going but I *know* that there are many cat owners in here who (are) qualified to give me advice as they've dealt with "new kitten problems" before and I haven't.
What's next, these people asking us to prescribe psycho-tropic drugs for them?
I think they'd probably be better off to go to the local bar and commiserate.
Like others in here I think it's just an attention getting device.
In future, if someone asks me for advice in this area I'll give them a "refferal" to............."Doctor Benji."

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 9:06:45 PM   
Vampz


Posts: 44
Joined: 7/27/2007
Status: offline 		I would hope we would be nice as we give our opinions. But some people just aren't nice, just like in 3D, one can try and talk and discuss...but if that gets mooky, skim their posts - why waste time being upset.
 
Life is change.
 
I don't mind help threads- you know for sure when you go to read them, the person is asking for opinions. Seeking opinions. But then again I'm a newbie. Maybe a lot of help threads here suck. I'm keeping a totally open mind... As usual.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/28/2007 11:01:17 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi folks,

Just a few comments; thank you for those who said nice things.  Also, when I reply, I usually use fast reply.  If I wish to address someone specifically, I will name them in my reply.

I'll keep this short; I'm not advocating that there be morality cops to protect the weak.  I'm not trying to be one, even.  I'm pointing out that there is a distinct difference between a genuine desire to help, and a genuine desire to piss on someone.  Sure, not everyone can see that distinction, and some folks will think pissing on someone is helping them.  My opinion is, frankly, that it's not helping.  Ever.

Yes, adults aren't supposed to be fragile little butterfly wings made of glass.  People shouldn't post their feelings publicly, if they cannot handle the fall out.  This doesn't keep that from happening on a regular basis.  I'm not against people using strong statements; I don't consider myself a kinder, gentler advice giver either.  I am against people being crass, snide, holier than thou, and generally cruel (when the person in question didn't specifically ask for such; obviously, in a scene it could be hot for some folks!)

I'm also aware that this will fall on many deaf ears.  Those who probably need to hear it least, will likely reject it most.  Yet, I think calling attention to the situation is better than simply ignoring it.

Also, I'm aware that I do, occasionally, let my own feelings and opinions go beyond the scope of acceptability.  I'm not perfect, and I do screw up.  Maybe I'm suggesting that 'we' should learn to be more compassionate, because I know that I have had to learn to be more compassionate.

Just my two cents,

Stephan


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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: "Help me, please" threads - 7/29/2007 9:47:37 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Sometimes you cant help but amuse yourself by answering a post that well, um, needs to be answered in a less than serious way. Now, whats a serious post to you, I may not take seriously. How to change to where we all think alike? Is that the real question? Should we include in our posts, do not make fun or light of my issue! Or do we say, hey take what I write and run with it!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 59
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