I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event

I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (Full Version)

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alwaysforward -> I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 5:55:37 PM)
Before I actually go into the idea, I'd like to preface this with some background on where it came from. I think the first time I heard the term no-strings-attached housework was here. The idea seems simple enough and I'd thought along similar lines but when I read it spelled out like that something clicked. I thought "What a brilliant social construct". For the most part everyone joins sites like this with the hope of finding a partner. To a lesser extent to meet friends but the main drive is clearly to find that allusive partner in deviancy, so to speak. In that, everyone has the same sets of problems. Some of those problems are unique by gender or role. For instance men find it much harder to meet woman and submissives find it much harder to find dominants. Some problems transcend gender or role. There is a fundamental trust issue we all face in this marginalized dating scene. When our fantasies, often deep fantasies,compel us to go where many are to afraid to even look motives and agenda's are naturally called in to question. we ask "are they serious?", "are they honest", "are they jerking off while writing this?", "will they panic and lash out". All valid and common occurrences. We've all heard about or experienced them. The guy who promises everything and disappears, the mistress who demands money only to themselves disappear, the elaborate fantasies only passably disguised as real experiences, the sudden shift from compliant submissive to abusive asshole. Thinking about that is when I came to see NSA housework as this great idea. as a submissive you're given the chance to meet dominants and get to know them, you have the opportunity to prove your sincerity and if you choose to leave the situation you don't run the risk of seriously putting the dominant out of their way. As a dominant all of the same things apply. But there is a rather fundamental flaw in this. Trust. It's back again, waggling it's hieny and saying "uh huh, you aren't going to let some one you don't already know in your house around all your stuff." Trust is a tease. We all want it but it's so hard to get. So it hit me. The munch. you get to meet people, get to know them but it's not the same. You go to the munch for the same reason you signed up here and the same problems exist, although perhaps mitigated slightly, and a new one arrives - the clique and how to get inside it. So how to combine these things. How to create a comfortable situation where trust can be earned but isn't required to start, but one where you can cut to the chase and start serving or being served. Something you don't have to waste months building toward but never materializes, and where some gratification is promised right away. I wish I had a great name to put here. Something that captures what I'm getting around to, but I don't. I don't know what it'd be called. a dunch perhaps. anyway, here's the idea: A group of dominants. They can be open or closed, related to a specific scene or agenda or not, male, female, neither or both. But the group is entirely made up of dominants. It would be hosted in a discreet location. a persons home or private space. It would probably meet once or twice a month and be a relaxed get together where dominants can share ideas, socialize and network. There would be submissive there, of course. But less then half the group should be made up of them and they're purpose there would be to serve, not participate otherwise. The group would be made up of a president, who would have final say in any matter where a majority consensus couldn't be reached and a treasure to deal with the money, which I'll get into in a moment. Everyone would be an equal member and both offices would be elected or impeached by the group. The submissives, who wouldn't be group members per se as they would have no say in it's goings on, would be required to follow whatever rules the group established. They would be required to pay a duty or tribute, if you'd prefer. 100 to 200 a meeting would be a good range. The money would be used by the treasurer to pay for any accommodations the group needed and the difference would be split across the members. This would provide incentive for all concerned to attend and participate. I've worked out a set of guiding ideas, a prototype blue print if you will. The group wouldn't necessarily be dedicated to bdsm topics. It might be a business networking group, it could be a direct marketing group like amway, a tupperware party, tea party. It might range in topics from computers to jobs to housing. This would be a major break from the munch although it can also be focused on bdsm issues. This would be like any other social group you see on craigslist, tribe or the like, except it would be exclusive to people who identify with bdsm or D/s. and the group would be attended to by a few submissives. All submissives, before joining the group, would need to be aware if it's focus and give a list of hard nos. There would be three levels for the submissives. group servant, group submissive and group slave. no one is required to comply against a hard limit. A group servant can say no to their soft limits. This is a time for them to feel the group out. A group submissive can only refuse a hard limit otherwise they're penalized with either a fine or being asked to leave the group temporarily or permanently. At the end of each meeting the submissives would stand in front of the group, answer any questions and be given a chance to ask their own questions or voice concerns. Then, to conclude the meeting, the dominants would state their needs for the intervening time. All needs must be meet within reason. They might be financial but more likely menial. Each submissive would "adopt" one or more of these needs or desires. the role of the group slave would be the same as group submissive except they are required to take on anything the other submissives didn't. I know this post is long... I'm a long winded guy. But what I'm interested in is if anyone thinks there would be significant enough interest in something like this to make it work or if they can think of any improvements to make, gaffes I've made or have anything to add. Obviously my interest in something like this is main to create a place for myself, but I hope it would also create one for others. If you've gotten this far thanks for the time.

chiaThePet -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 6:29:31 PM)
i suppose there's a market for anything. i suppose one could make it work. Hmmm, i get absolutely no say in any matters. (though i can voice hard limits) i pay 100.00 to 200.00 for the opportunity of having no say in any matters. (though i can stand before the group and ask questions and voice concerns) And this would be known as a "dunce", er, "dunch" i suppose there's a market for anything. i suppose one could make it work. chia* (the pet)

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:12:39 PM)
It seems you're trying to flame here, but since you're the first response I'll address this so you don't derail it entirely. I think you took my meaning to far. You get no say in the goings on of the group, as far as what they discuss or how they socialize. It's their group in that sense. You pay to help maintain the group and to encourage dominants to participate. The same reason you might join any club with dues except this is in a D/s context. Hard limits are completely unrelated to this. The idea is to create a place that satisfies both the need to dominate and be dominated, not necessarily "play" or act out elaborate scenes, but limits should be communicated and excepted. anyway That's the sense I spoke of limits in. The idea of standing before the group is to allow some back and fourth. The idea behind the submissives serving the group not speaking or rather not participating during the meetings is to alleviate the fantasy motive. It might be ones fantasy to do this, but it does go a long way to showing you're sincere about serving and not only interested in some particular fantasy or another. Obviously this wouldn't be something that would appeal to people only looking to play. For them there are other outlets. I'd like to create something for those of us in the middle who want to serve or be served more seriously but would also like some faster gratification. I can pay a professional $200 an hour to kick my ass, but I can't pay for the chance to serve as more of a lifestyle and for dominants it's hard to find serious submissives or slaves. quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet i suppose there's a market for anything. i suppose one could make it work. Hmmm, i get absolutely no say in any matters. (though i can voice hard limits) i pay 100.00 to 200.00 for the opportunity of having no say in any matters. (though i can stand before the group and ask questions and voice concerns) And this would be known as a "dunce", er, "dunch" i suppose there's a market for anything. i suppose one could make it work. chia* (the pet)

aSlavesLife -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:22:03 PM)
I am still blurry eyed from just waking up, so I'll try reading this tomorrow for a better understanding of it. But it sounds like it could be done cheaper by far. Heck, drop by my house with chips and soft drinks. I'll have L make tea, coffee, and cookies. Just call ahead so I can tell you which rusty tractor to turn left at. Owner of slave L

SunnyTawse -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:33:51 PM)
We do similar events in my local community (Minneapolis) at little or no cost... monthly meeting of Dom/mes Domain, served by submissives... High Tea parties, female dominants served by male submissives... the Dark Ages Fair, where dominants are the gentry and submissives the peasants... etc. Maybe rethink your idea a little and it might come to fruition. But unless you're on one of the coasts, your costs are overstated. Sunny Tawse Archon of RIngs http://AthenorLodge.com

SunnyTawse -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:36:26 PM)
Ah. I see. You're in California. That explains the outrageous cost. Sunny

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:39:37 PM)
quote: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type ... Yeah...one held here in Columbus GA

chiaThePet -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:50:34 PM)
{It seems you're trying to flame here, but since you're the first response I'll address this so you don't derail it entirely.} i have this thing about playing with matches, it ignites my sense of humor, enough said. In case you missed what i stated previously, besides pointing out what i consider flaws in your system, i suppose there's a market for anything. i suppose one could make it work. chia* (the pet)

AAkasha -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 7:53:02 PM)
How do you week out the submissive kooks? Money doesn't effectively screen. Some of the biggest wackos and creeps still have the cash or dig it up, and it only takes a few bad apples to scare away the rest. Akasha

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 8:03:06 PM)
I do agree the cost would depend entirely on the ability for it to be met and what was needed. I am on one of the coast though, heh. I'm not sure that I need to rethink it as much as flush it out to begin with. I'm hoping to find a few people in the area that would want to help build it but I think before that happens I need a solid framework. A large issue is attracting dominants. Submissives will come for them. Of course the problem isn't only attracting dominants, it's attracting them in the right context. I think something that's lacking is a social environment that is enriched by the bdsm scene but not driven by it. There's an insular tendency to focus on bdsm or to normalize it with ritual and pomp. I think that's great fun but it's hard to find a footing there. quote: ORIGINAL: SunnyTawse We do similar events in my local community (Minneapolis) at little or no cost... monthly meeting of Dom/mes Domain, served by submissives... High Tea parties, female dominants served by male submissives... the Dark Ages Fair, where dominants are the gentry and submissives the peasants... etc. Maybe rethink your idea a little and it might come to fruition. But unless you're on one of the coasts, your costs are overstated. Sunny Tawse Archon of RIngs http://AthenorLodge.com

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 8:05:08 PM)
wish there was something like that around here

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 8:15:47 PM)
Especially since the cost might be lower then I mentioned but besides that, you're right. It's not a barrier to the creeps at any level. I think these groups shouldn't be open to the public, at least not for submissives. Maybe an open house every so often to allow ones who've expressed interest meet the group members but the group could vote, or decided however they felt was best, who to let serve. quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha How do you week out the submissive kooks? Money doesn't effectively screen. Some of the biggest wackos and creeps still have the cash or dig it up, and it only takes a few bad apples to scare away the rest. Akasha

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 8:17:31 PM)
I hope that it works here as well. quote: ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia wish there was something like that aound her

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 8:19:38 PM)
i fixed the spelling...i'm such a goof this town sucks

MisPandora -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 9:10:39 PM)
You lost me in the wordiness. Perhaps a summary of what your point was? I didn't see anything about what sort of event this might be.

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 10:12:53 PM)
Actually this is a good opportunity for me to distill it for myself as well. Basically it would be a group of dominants that meet regularly. A club really. The focus of the meetings wouldn't necessarily be bdsm, it might be a very vanilla agenda such as professional networking, the housing market or not agenda at all, but it would be participated in by dominants exclusively and a smaller group of submissives that would serve them. The group wouldn't be open to the public and the submissives would need to be first accepted by the group like any private club. There would probably need to be the occasional open house so submissives could meet the members who would decide if they could serve. The submissives would pay any dues needed to maintain the group, the amount would depended on what was needed or desired. They would be given the opportunity to serve the group members outside of the meetings at the members discretion. Service in the sense of menial tasks, not necessarily any form of play activity. My idea is to give dominants and submissives access to each other in a way that minimizes the fantasy or "wanker" factor and allows for a safe yet casual environment so they can feel each other out or be content simply serving the group or being served while attending. quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora You lost me in the wordiness. Perhaps a summary of what your point was? I didn't see anything about what sort of event this might be.

undergroundsea -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 10:29:48 PM)
I am sure the idea would invite interest of some people but it does not resonate with me. Here are my reasons for why the idea does not call to me. I have declined invitations to serve where all submissives serve all dominants. I prefer to serve women and do not wish to serve men. For sake of discussion, let's consider a femdom group only. The text suggests that at the end of the meeting dominants would state their financial or labor needs and the submissive would meet them in a no-strings-attached fashion. For me, service is not only for the sake of the act and the person to whom the service is given matters. The no-strings-attached service still requires a want to give such a service to whomever it is being given. The idea of finances (pay $100-$200 a meeting and then take on financial needs of dominants) also does not appeal to me. I find no appeal in giving money to random people. Also, I could not justify going to a meeting where you pay $100-$200 when the same type of gathering occurs commonly without any such requirements. Furthermore, if one does provide no-strings-attached service of a nature that is desired, the forces of supply and demand are different than what they are in the femdom scene in general. I am unclear about the part about business networking versus BDSM. I think because the reason the people are coming together is BDSM, a BDSM focus would more likely be wanted. Also, if I sought to join a business networking group (or a computer discussion group or whatever), I would choose demographics that were most relevant to what I sought rather than try to seek such persons within a limited pool of the population. My two cents. Cheers, Sea

MisPandora -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 10:43:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alwaysforward Actually this is a good opportunity for me to distill it for myself as well. Basically it would be a group of dominants that meet regularly. A club really. The focus of the meetings wouldn't necessarily be bdsm, it might be a very vanilla agenda such as professional networking, the housing market or not agenda at all, but it would be participated in by dominants exclusively and a smaller group of submissives that would serve them. The group wouldn't be open to the public and the submissives would need to be first accepted by the group like any private club. There would probably need to be the occasional open house so submissives could meet the members who would decide if they could serve. The submissives would pay any dues needed to maintain the group, the amount would depended on what was needed or desired. They would be given the opportunity to serve the group members outside of the meetings at the members discretion. Service in the sense of menial tasks, not necessarily any form of play activity. My idea is to give dominants and submissives access to each other in a way that minimizes the fantasy or "wanker" factor and allows for a safe yet casual environment so they can feel each other out or be content simply serving the group or being served while attending. OK, so it sounds like the ClubFEM groups in a few parts of the country. It doesn't sound like a new concept really......

alwaysforward -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 10:59:23 PM)
I'll have to look into those, thanks. quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: alwaysforward Actually this is a good opportunity for me to distill it for myself as well. Basically it would be a group of dominants that meet regularly. A club really. The focus of the meetings wouldn't necessarily be bdsm, it might be a very vanilla agenda such as professional networking, the housing market or not agenda at all, but it would be participated in by dominants exclusively and a smaller group of submissives that would serve them. The group wouldn't be open to the public and the submissives would need to be first accepted by the group like any private club. There would probably need to be the occasional open house so submissives could meet the members who would decide if they could serve. The submissives would pay any dues needed to maintain the group, the amount would depended on what was needed or desired. They would be given the opportunity to serve the group members outside of the meetings at the members discretion. Service in the sense of menial tasks, not necessarily any form of play activity. My idea is to give dominants and submissives access to each other in a way that minimizes the fantasy or "wanker" factor and allows for a safe yet casual environment so they can feel each other out or be content simply serving the group or being served while attending. OK, so it sounds like the ClubFEM groups in a few parts of the country. It doesn't sound like a new concept really......

BeachMystress -> RE: I'm wondering if there would be interest in a new type of community event (7/29/2007 11:09:10 PM)
This sounds like a great fantasy idea, but I do not believe it would work in practice. Actually, the Club FEm in southern California did try charging for membership. It didn't work. The male subs came to the first free munch and looked over the selection of FemDom. If they liked one of them they started harassing them via private e-mail. They didn't show back up and pay money. And our Club FEm had the concept of club subs, available to all the Dominants. If most of these men are willing to pay money, they go to a pro. As for the rest of southern California, you do not pay for munches or discussion groups. Our Dungeons are $10, $30, $30 and $20 cover charges. (I don't know the door charge on the fifth one, as I've never been.) Just because we live in Cali doesn't mean we don't find paying $100 for a meeting outrageous.

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