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SusanofO -> RE: Disposable subs (8/2/2007 8:00:49 PM)
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I guess I have hard time thinking of someone else (submissive/slave or a Domme/Dom) within a committed relationship, as a mere object that is "disposable" - regardless of the fact a submissive/slave can in fact, be "dismissed" by a Dom/me for doing X,Y or Z, or at the supposed "whim" of their Mistress/Master.
I think an attitude that emphasized (all the time) that the submissive or slave was considered a "disposable object", might undermine the sense of security for the submissive or slave (unless it was part of the "kink" involved for both people) - and since a Domme might want to feel like she is indeed taking responsibilty for their welfare, that idea and attitude might not work well for me (personally) to display toward them, if I thought it would be misunderstood.
I guess I equate this idea that submissive males are "disposable" to male Doms who aren't willing to gain any communication skills, but want to simply dismiss a female submissive or slave instead (I am a Switch), when the first little "problem" in their relationship arises, and try to work things out - simply because they find it easier on themselves (and just because they can. And also because they lack communication skills, apparently).
I avoid these kinds of male Doms like the plague (and I've usually ask them how they work out "problems with a submissive" before I've even corresponded with them at any length.)
BUT - I do think there are possibly more "casual arrangements" people sometimes make with each other regarding the level of committment to eachother - If they are both aware that's "the deal", then that's okay with me I guess. Unfortunately, sometimes it sounds like that's not always the case that they are both aware that this kind of arrangement that is in operation(although I realize most Dommes are probably wanting to be more committed to their submissives or slaves than that in a LTR).
If someone is just looking for a "scene" that's an entirely different thing, and they most probably both know the "terms" of the duration, obviously.
I think in any case, people need to make clear with eachother what they are looking for - as far as the potential duration, committment level, and intensity in a relationship.
Susan
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