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Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 3:03:31 AM   
LookingSwitch


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		i have been curious about Sub or Slaves know there place b/c honestly the ones i have meet either dont know it or just try and test it just to recive punishment or getting something they wanted in the first place. being a sub or slave im my opion is to serve your Mistress/Master and there is a pretty broad understand as to what a slave shold do and act like that why i dont understand when people have had "experience's" that they STILL rewuire alot of training. anyway that my rant
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 3:43:53 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Are you referring to all who identify as submissive / slave or do you mean within a specific D/s or M/s relationship?

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 3:54:07 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingSwitch

...i dont understand when people have had "experience's" that they STILL rewuire alot of training. anyway that my rant

How about because they were trained to serve one specific person, and that person isn't you?  Each Dom(me)/Master/Mistress/etc has different requirements and quirks, you can't expect one or many lots of training to cover that.  Tell your sub/slave what you want, and they'll pick it up, but they aren't clairvoyant and won't know til you tell them.

Oh, and if they've been taught to do something another way, so much that it's reflex, then the relearning can be less than instant.  A dose of patience when you get a pretrained sub/slave goes a long way.

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 3:57:52 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		First of all, this whole concept of "training" just makes my jaw tight to begin with.  I don't need to be trained to be submissive...I either am or I am not.  With that said, tho, I think what you may be referring to is being shown or taught how a specific dom likes things.  For example, I don't need to be "trained" on how to fold socks or t-shirts, but my dom may have to show me how HE likes his folded. 

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 4:22:49 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingSwitch

i have been curious about Sub or Slaves know there place b/c honestly the ones i have meet either dont know it or just try and test it just to recive punishment or getting something they wanted in the first place.

The place of an owned sub or slave is wherever they want it to be. The place of an owned sub or slave is wherever their owner wants it to. It's something where you can't say they don't know their place unless you actually own them or their owner has told you they don't.
quote:


being a sub or slave im my opion is to serve your Mistress/Master and there is a pretty broad understand as to what a slave shold do and act like that why i dont understand when people have had "experience's" that they STILL rewuire alot of training. anyway that my rant

Ok... yes. My place is to serve Valyraen. However, he considers my being myself (and being a delightful smartass) serving him. As for training, every owner likes their submissive to behave a little differently, sometimes a lot differently, then the next dominant. I don't really see what your problem with training is.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 4:55:49 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingSwitch

i have been curious about Sub or Slaves know there place b/c honestly the ones i have meet either dont know it or just try and test it just to recive punishment or getting something they wanted in the first place. being a sub or slave im my opion is to serve your Mistress/Master and there is a pretty broad understand as to what a slave shold do and act like that why i dont understand when people have had "experience's" that they STILL rewuire alot of training. anyway that my rant


.....and then imagine some of us are not service oriented at all.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:08:11 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		There are those whose owners don't care how they act or whose owners enjoy bratty behavior.... it's their relationship and even though you may not relate to how they're doing things, it doesn't make it any less valid.

There are times when a sub/slave needs or wants their leash jerked or their boundaries enforced.  Some will just communicate this need or desire to the owner, while others may simply 'act up' a bit to get put in their place.  Some will call this topping from the bottom, others won't.

No matter what the situation, how people behave in their relationship simply isn't the concern of others unless they are involving you in some way in which you object.

As to requiring training even after having been trained before.  Every dominant is an individual, so he/she may train a sub/slave to their liking and needs, but another dominant may not want or need those same behaviors.  So that means they'll have to be trained in the ways of the new dominant.  And some dominants don't train at all.

We are all people with different needs, wants and personalities... and we all seek the relationship dynamics that fit us. 

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:09:32 AM   
LookingSwitch


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		by "knowing there place" i ment there behavoir i have met So many slave or submissives who have begged to serve me but talk about or disobey me i don't understand when i have to repeat myself over and over it wears me down. so yeah i ment just know how they should act when speaking with there Master or the Dom there serving

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:22:07 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingSwitch

by "knowing there place" i ment there behavoir i have met So many slave or submissives who have begged to serve me but talk about or disobey me i don't understand when i have to repeat myself over and over it wears me down. so yeah i ment just know how they should act when speaking with there Master or the Dom there serving


Well it's possible you are not being clear in what you expect of them.  No one can foresee every issue that may come up in life, but in the gettting to know you phase, this is the time to discuss what you expect. 

And don't think that just because you say something like "I expect obedience" that this will just be a blanket answer for every situation. 

And quite frankly, some people think that the other person, whether dominant or submissive, reads minds and that they should just "know".  Well good luck with that!

Basically it comes down to needing better communication if what you're doing isn't working.


(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:27:22 AM   
LookingSwitch


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		BRNaughtyAngel i completely agree with you b/c i have had people expect that of me or thought that of someone else so believe me i have learned my lesson but with my sub im very clear as to what i want and expect but i get tired of them disobeying me, could be b/c i dont most of it online and im not there to actually pull there lesh but i wish i could meet someone So devouted to me that i wouldn't have to be

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:32:44 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		LookingSwitch...

I don't know if You are really even talking about "knowing there (sic) place"; I think what You are talking about falls under the category of manners.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of rude people in the world; and some identify themselves as submissives.

There is also the possibility that Your process for screening potential submissives needs to be revised.  If You are constantly running into this problem, instead of bemoaning the fact, perhaps You need to find out why You are repeatedly attracting that particular calibre or type of submissive to You.  Why would You get to the point with a submissive that she considered You her Master or Dom if she was disobedient and could not, or would not, follow Your direction?

If You are of the Dominant variety that thinks that just because a label is attached to a person- be it sub or Dom- that certain rules of engagement apply- afraid it does not work that way.  A Dominant needs to act like One, earn the respect He desires, and only then can He expect to be in a situation where power exchange can occur and He can have some expectation of being obeyed.  And that's IF the woman He is with is truly submissive.  Just because a person calls themself something, it does not make it so. 

I suggest You take Your time.  Get to know the women You are talking to and find out about them, and their views on submission ~before~ You have them serving You- no matter how much "begging" they heap upon You to experience the gift that is Your Dominance.         

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:39:36 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I realize many people conduct online relationships, and for some it is taken as seriously and felt as deeply as one that is in person.... but understand that there are many people who just play the online dom or sub game.  And it is just a game to them.  They aren't really interested in a relationship that involves an exchange of power, they just want to play kinky online. 

I would suggest that you get involved in your local BDSM community and you can meet others who are interested in real life interactions and relationships.

As to devotion to you, a dominant inspires the devotion of his/her submissive.  It's not just a given.  But if you're dealing with someone who is just role-playing at being submissive, you aren't likely to find much devotion beyond the moment they step out of that role.

Good luck to you.

< Message edited by BRNaughtyAngel -- 7/31/2007 5:40:32 AM >

(in reply to LookingSwitch)
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RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 5:47:34 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		I did not see the second post about it being online until after I'd finished responding.  I'd have to agree with BRNaughtyAngel's post on the matter completey.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:05:18 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Well he's also posted a rant in the Master and Mistress forums about being unable to find a "real" mistress, blah blah blah.

I think he's just looking for easy sex and to not have to put forth the work it takes for a relationship. 

If it's a mistress, he may or may not want to serve, but I'm betting he wants the sex.  If it's a sub/slave, he wants an insta-slave who requires no effort on his part, other than the sex of course.

I'm thinking he may just need a robot.

(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:07:23 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well if we go the advert route on this side, please inform all the girls you know that I am looking for easy sex myself....it is just so much, well, easier.

Ron  

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:08:51 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		A robot is not a bad idea...not trying to be especially mean here; but he might as well just give himself a ~hand~.  If that's all he's looking for,  he should at least be able to get THAT obey him (in theory). 

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:10:49 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

well if we go the advert route on this side, please inform all the girls you know that I am looking for easy sex myself....it is just so much, well, easier.

Ron  


Will do Ronnie baby!  Maybe we need a forum just for easy sex? 

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:15:19 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Maybe the subs/slaves in question are just waiting for you to earn their loyalty and devotion.   But it doesn't sound like you'll get it if you think teaching (which is part of a Dominant's job, along with responsibility, etc) is a pain in the ass.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 6:38:09 AM   
ExquisiteFeline


Posts: 124
Status: offline 		Find a Dominant, write a list of exactly what you want, and get him to train her, then there will be no hard work, the Dom will enjoy it, the sub will, and everyone will be happy :) There could be a market in that he he...'Fully trained subs, for lazy Doms, will take credit card, paypal, or cash.'

I thought that the Dom enjoys the challenge of taking the role.
It would be like capturing a wild horse and expecting dressage the following day, the challenge denotes your psychological strength and abilities.

Oh and there are plenty of forums for easy sex, and kink too ;)

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Knowing your place - 7/31/2007 7:00:09 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		The pictures looks like Tahoe, Sacramento is just down the road and has a fairly diverse bdsm community.

That said, having a "slave" does not equal no work in a relationship.  One must be worthy of that slave's devotion because despite all the BS, that is all that ties a slave to an owner.   There can be many reasons one is worthy of that devotion, but it doesn't come easy in real life. 

Whatever problems and issues you have with women in vanilla life are in many ways amplified in bdsm.  People all too often thing entering a D/s relationship is a way of escaping those issues but it isn't.

(in reply to ExquisiteFeline)
Profile   Post #: 20
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