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How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 6:54:21 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings:
 
I am curious.  From day one when I started as a submissive with an online Mentor, I was required to submit a daily journal.  Now that I am real time and have a slave, I require the same thing.
Most of the time, Dom/mes require daily journals of some type. 
I would like to know your thoughts and why you require this from your subs.
 
Regards, MissSCD
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 7:21:52 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings:  I had a Master who also required me to blod daily online for him to read. His reasoning at the time was in effect he wanted to gain a better understanding of my thoughts, feelings, dreams etc. Especially as we had started as an online Master/slave before it went into r/t. He wanted to know how my mind worked in order for himself to better know how to work and mold me to what he wanted in a slave.
   I am no longer owned but do have my own boy who I am working with I have suggested that he also start to online journal himself. He has made a half hearted attempt to do so. My reasoning for this is for him write out what is bothering him, write out his fears, insecurites and hopes for himself and for our relationship. I would like to know what his unspoken thoughts are so I can be able to help him become a more secure person and thus he'll be more secure in the fact I am a caring Daddy/Dom that he needs and wants.

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(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 7:28:28 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Actually I think most journals are because the sub really wants it and it makes them feel better- I'd say only 40% of journals are because a dom actually requests it independently.

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 7:54:51 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		don't do the journal thing since Daddy and i chat every day

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 8:58:38 AM   
instynctive


Posts: 2726
Status: offline 		I have My precious journal "at will" but with instructions to chronicle specific events, such as sessions... I feel that for her to get her thoughts and feelings out in the open provides not only some great "spank the monkey" material, but helps her understand things a little more..

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 9:18:27 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I like the idea of journaling.  Especially when someone is conflicted about something.  I don't require daily journaling but I do ask it of someone who is going through something that requires reflection and introspection.

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:01:57 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: instynctive

I have My precious journal "at will" but with instructions to chronicle specific events, such as sessions... I feel that for her to get her thoughts and feelings out in the open provides not only some great "spank the monkey" material, but helps her understand things a little more..


You are such a thoughtful friend!  Thank you

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:20:49 AM   
boytoy4female


Posts: 103
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline 		In my submissive experiences, much to my dismay, journalizing creates the situation where I must admit and face what is my submissive reality. Writing it down, brings it to the surface where I can not hide. I have found it reinforces my submission and my acceptance of it.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:35:09 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		There was a time when I would require certain tasks of any submissive.  But over the years I realized that there were several different motivations behind them, and I have become much more selective in what I choose to employ.
 
Sometimes I required tasks because I thought that was what was expected of me in order to be a "good" Dominant.  I trashed those completely.
 
Sometimes I required tasks because I enjoyed them.  I kept those.
 
And sometimes I required tasks because they were functional.  But people being as unique as they are, those tasks were not equally functional for all submissives.  Consequently, I evaluated each girl in order to determine whether these functional tasks were relevant for her.  If so they were implemented and if not I discarded them. 

Personally, I found that journaling fell into this latter category for me and that I did not care to waste my time with something that wasn't fulfilling its functional purpose. 
 
John

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:41:48 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I once had one of my girls start a journal. It was back when we were younger and full ideals. I thought it was a good idea at the time. About half way through the first one I realized that I really just don't give a shit what she thinks. Hell, it's not like it's important or anything. So I 86'd the whole journaling thing and we're all much better for it.

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:43:21 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		While I understand that writing often helps me gain a new understanding of an idea, a session or simply emotions that I am experiencing, I have to be allowed to write when I feel the need to write.  If I'm ordered to journal daily, or at all, actually, I will fail.  Words, especially ones that are attuned to the depth of my feelings and understanding, just won't come.  If I write anyway, then it is trite and lacking the passion and trueness it should have.  Not that I'm lying, it's just not as true a reflection of my feelings and thoughts as it could be.

So many dominants require journaling that I'm finding it to be less of a tool for them than just a control mechanism and therefore, lacking meaning.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:45:08 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

About half way through the first one I realized that I really just don't give a shit what she thinks. Hell, it's not like it's important or anything. So I 86'd the whole journaling thing


~snorting with laughter~

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:46:17 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

So many dominants require journaling that I'm finding it to be less of a tool for them than just a control mechanism and therefore, lacking meaning.


See "what they think is expected of them" above.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to feastie)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 11:32:29 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		These are all excellent answers.    I especially enjoyed Rover's insight.  Keep your thoughts coming.
I think it is a good tool for a slave/sub to come to surface with what they are feeling.  That is why I do it.
I like to get the male's perspective on this issue.


Regards, MissSCD

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 2:10:44 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello MissSCD. I do not ask a sub to have a journal "for me". If she wants to keep a journal it is on the condition that I am never to be asked to read it.

A journal is for control, to "confirm" stuff. After a while it's a manipulation tool. I find that when the dom does not want to read the journal, it is only a little short time before the sub does not want to write anymore (unless the sub has always kept up a diary, even before going into the lifestyle?). RL.

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 4:37:12 PM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Daddy currently has me journaling, every evening that I am free to do so. And I enjoy it. Many have been the times that something was bothering me or just on my mind and I was having trouble saying it in person so I blogged it. He reads my journal every night or the morning after and then he either comments online or - more often - comments in person or over the phone; more often that not, it's over the phone since he tends to read it while we talk. There have been a couple of times, though, that the subject matter made me uncomfortable so I made an excuse to not be on the phone while he read. In fact, 'tis the case right now; I have a journal entry, written Sunday, awaiting his reading and I do not want to be on the phone while he peruses it. Will be bad enough when we "discuss" it, don't wanna sit there, holding my breath, while he looks inside of me.  

_____________________________

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 7:31:45 PM   
xkittenishx


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		my Master has me journal as well - not daily - as we both think it would be a bit overwhelming - but three times a week.   We rarely talk about the entries (unless something i've said really bothers Him or He questions something i've written.) because He prefers it to be a space i feel i can be completely free and outspoken in.  The only rule is that i'm never to use it to try to manipulate in.  (Not that He'd let me get away with manipulating Him anyway, but even the thought of using it to do so is a big no-no for the both of us in the matter of respect towards Him.)

(in reply to BDsbabygirl)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 8:36:01 PM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		We ask a Sub who We are going to be with no matter for the length of time or for just meeting to make notes of their deepest feelings, thoughts and their Understanding of many different parts of their person and mind be it whom they are or wish to become as they progress through the life they have chosen to live and hope to be part of as well as  wish to explore.
As We discovered with one sub We own that she was much more at ease and found keeping a journal gave her a more open way of expressing all of these things and could go into more detail and into areas that to her were only considered fantasies and because she found that the written word was much easier to use and to express these things much better than the spoken word it has led to so many things being explored much faster and easier than having to spend more time speaking than enjoying what ever it was to explore on any occasion.
Plus she was able to be more specific and graphic in her details of these feelings and yes fantasies that are now realities for her.
We have asked another sub who is going to be with Us soon to also make notes and then begin their journal and as soon as they heard this they immediately said how they wished they had started on long before hand to always keep their feelings and thoughts and ideas at hand instead of just muddled in their mind.
Again too it was said by this sub that they will be able to fully express a deeper and more intermit side of it all as they think of what ever it may be that they make entries of each time and not being able to talk to Us immediately or at the times this comes to mind.
In who ever keeps the journal give Us a deeper insight into their person and a greater understanding of them with out the need to interrupt their flow of thought and ideas they feel and have on ay subject what ever, as they have also been told to include the no go areas (hard limits) in their journals.

_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to xkittenishx)
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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 8:58:52 PM   
sensiia


Posts: 103
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you robertolapiedra. I feel in many ways it can be used for manipulation. I grew up journaling then stopped when a friend invaded my privacy by finding and reading my journal. My former Top required me to journal for myself to help me understand the feelings I was possessing as I entered into the realm of BDSM and my conflicting thoughts about who I was and who I am. In turn I realized I was the same person I always had been, Journaling taught me to accept myself and that it was ok to feel what I was feeling and know it was ok to enjoy this new found freedom. He never read it as he stated it was only for my own growth.

It  is a shame there are people out there who will prey on anothers weaknesses and use those weaknesses against them to have some form of control over them. I feel IMHO unless there is a strong sense of trust and a commitment between the two it would be foolish to allow another into your depths where harm may come from it.

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RE: How many Doms require subs to journalize? - 8/1/2007 10:13:03 PM   
ryssa


Posts: 501
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline 		I cringe at the thoughts of having to keep a journal...I spend far too much time as it is writing essays and assignments for school, being required to keep a journal would be like a punishment ..for me

(in reply to sensiia)
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