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A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 7:47:54 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		A Good Sub


Somone had post a question to me what makes a good sub or person.. I had to really think what that ment after all the bad ones use the same approches the good ones do. you know that saying.. that if it is to good to be true is not always correct. So how do we find out.

  1. who are they : by this i mean their past what makes them tick their friends. their influences who has a influence in their life some of those people can really put a negitive spell on your growth with this person..
  2. what do they bring to the table: job wise, family do they have kids. do they pay child support. etc
  3. persona: do they pay attention to you or at you . in other words do they listen to you as a person or to your sexual signals driving them like an addiction.. if you just have one or the other it really never works for long sexual part can last as long as five years before it burns out.
  4. priorty list : where do you come on the list of priorties.. when its your time to spend together are they attentive or are they taking calls from friends dommes. doms or buisness. are they always comming up with reasons not to show up or cancel things ( we are not objects we are people ) anyone who would see them selves as an object other then scene reasons is lacking in esteem issues fyi
  5. animated: they have a very hollywood persona.. they read all the lastest terms know all the latest hype yet know nothing of what it is to be just them. pattern them selves after someone that is a bad idea party people are like this
  6. hiden agenders: these are poeple who never give you a direct answer to simple questions.. they most of the time have messed up or hiding something that will upset you.!!! this is where trust and honesty come into play
  7. tempers fly: it is normal to get mad or angery sometimes.. shouting and yelling or disagreeing is normal.. as long as it is never abusive or physical.. its normal to kiss and make up.. or say your sorry.. its how couples say there is problem we need to resolve it.. to many times people say things they do not mean never have the chance to talk it out cause outside forces jump in and maniuplate remeber folks its your relationshp no one else its a we thing not the world thing get it understand it deal with it

i guess in a nut shell time is what will tell you... if it is all about the kink it will only last so long.
also experince is the best teacher that comes with age. remeber that a relationship is an investment. so what you bring to that investment is important. do not let others ruin it for you. that happens alot in our lifestyle if there is chemerstry its a good chance that it can work. not if you let everyone else work it for you ... Do not be sheep.. be a person be of substance not of sand. ...be a rock ...compatiblity is important.. remeber invest wisely find someone who sees you as a person first ds second and you will have what you seek
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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 7:50:47 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, were you previously employed as a preacher?  And if so, did you make a living at it?
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 7:52:53 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		LOL  John...I'm with you.  I've finally come across a poster that makes my head hurt. Insane.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 7:54:22 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings...
I have invested wisely and I have found exactly whom you describe. She sees Me as a person first, and anything else comes after that....the same holds true for Me. I am hers as much as she is mine....we started out as friends and that over time changed...all for the better for us. I took a chance, overcame my fears and My fears as well. I asked if, she said yes...we have spent countless hours since then chatting, exchanging messages and on the phone....I opened My cell phone bill the other day...now to open the home phone bill...I lived...barely heh heh.
oops My girl, my lady, my woman.


_____________________________

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 7:55:05 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		nope never tried that one wonder if there is such a thing as D's religious order

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 8:21:43 PM   
heavenleigh


Posts: 14
Joined: 1/29/2005
Status: offline 		Now, see, I always thought a good sub was one with lettuce, tomato, onion, and lots of oil and vinegar.....

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 9:00:39 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

LOL  John...I'm with you.  I've finally come across a poster that makes my head hurt. Insane.

I'm thankful that before I read that diatribe, I scanned the replies.  You've all saved me some brain cells.  Moving on....LOL

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 9:52:12 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is like this.. knowledge is what you do with it... you can either take it for what it is worth or just move on.... as one with many years in the lifestyle Real Time.. i mean back when it was underground  I like to keep people from being hurt cause I Care... I do not have time for bs in the ds.. Or people who just are plain rude who do not add positive things to what we are or do. they re to cushy and spend to much time in their own little world messing up everyone elses ... guess whatit effects us all one way or another get use to it get over it...

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/1/2007 9:56:46 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Personally, there is no one definition for what makes someone good. What you consider good, someone else might not. Same with what makes someone bad.
Theres nothing wrong with having a temper, or an agenda... my temper doesnt make me a bad person.

Thats about all I gleened from it.

That and for someone patting himself on the back for functioning so much higher than the rest of us, he hasnt figured out how to work the spell check yet.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 10:01:00 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		you know what being better then should be everyone's goal.. After all you do not play a game to loose. or train to be a sport athlete to be last. thats pretty lame and stupid. you should always strive to be better then you are. just the way it is.

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 10:04:41 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		What does that have to do with the price of tea in china? Does that mean that someone who strives to be better, but cannot excel at something is bad? I'm sorry but I dont see the train of thought that runs through this thread.  It sounds like you are just pulling random thoughts about what in your opinion makes people good, or what people should be doing, and popping them up to be read.
What am I missing?


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 10:08:40 PM   
PrincessinLatex


Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

What does that have to do with the price of tea in china? Does that mean that someone who strives to be better, but cannot excel at something is bad? I'm sorry but I dont see the train of thought that runs through this thread.  It sounds like you are just pulling random thoughts about what in your opinion makes people good, or what people should be doing, and popping them up to be read.
What am I missing?



From the looks of it. . . .absolutely nothing.

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If you are pervy and you know it, come visit me at ** Got Kink? **

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 10:17:39 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Most of things i talk about come from real life experiences and working with different organizations...Supported by years of research.. not to mention a few thousand contributions from Dom's Dommes and subs some very well known ones or icons.. this all relates back to someones character you either want to add to or take way from givers and takers all things have a balance.. my goal is simple give people the tools on human behavior let them make good choices.. known that i can keep one person out of an abusive relationship makes it all worth while. thats just it no more no less

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/1/2007 10:21:35 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If no one can understand what you are putting out there, though, then it isnt really being all that helpful.
I dont think I am alone in not having seen anything at ALL until this post about avoiding abusive relationships. I am not trying to be difficult, but finding your point in the randomness within which your mind works is not easy.  Not to say that you dont have one.  I cannot follow you, I am a far more linear thinker than you. Many others have a similiar problem. I have ot said your are wrong, or right.  Just... random.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: A Good Sub - 8/2/2007 2:47:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessinLatex

From the looks of it. . . .absolutely nothing.


*just nods and agrees - and is so happy to see you posting !
 
Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/2/2007 3:26:40 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		*sighs* another word to remove from the BDSM dictionary "good"

what is a "good" sub?  depends on how that individual dom/master describes their submissive/slave ...plain and simple.  you cannot generalize everyone (as well as everything) into 1 solid, cookie cutter definition ...it doesn't work like that - each dynamic is different from the other.

besides your long winded explanation made my headache worse.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 8/2/2007 3:27:04 AM >

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RE: A Good Sub - 8/2/2007 4:02:10 AM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		This guy used to come into a chat room I frequent...Made about the same amount of sense then.

What's a good sub? I dunno. I think I'm a good sub. That's really a matter of the Dominant they're with.


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Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/2/2007 4:14:28 AM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Mr LB64, 
I do think your opinion on what makes for a good sub or person is pretty much bang on.  You can tell a lot about a person by looking at their friends and family and those that have influence on them.  "Guilt by association" and "You can usually judge a man by his friends"  were not sayings thought up out of thin air, after all.  What two people bring into a relationship, whether it be personality, abilities, finances or whatever, does have quite a bearing when you get down to brass tacks and so it should.  When a relationship begins or is trying to grow, each should have their place of importance with the other and not allow outside influences or others' opinions to influence what they think of each other.   They should just be themselves, not trying to act like someone they are not, and be open and honest with one another.  Like any relationship, there will be hurdles to jump and difficulties to overcome and yes, sometimes tempers will fly but as long as it can be discussed calmly afterward, chances are the relationship will just end up stronger than before.

I very much agree that time together discovering one another is vital.  Life experience may help in that, hopefully, some wisdom will have come with age.  Knowing yourself first as a person can only strengthen any D/s relationship you may encounter.

So, my dear LB, you can count me as your fan of one I guess.  And don't worry about your spelling...I understood every word.  And those who cast the first stone...maybe they shouldn't have, hmmm?

Brought to you from my soapbox in my glass house.
Love and light to you all anyway,
sage

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/2/2007 4:47:43 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah...I'm pretty much ok with this OP thinking I'm cushy and harming the bdsm world by being so very unenlightened.  Ms.Pandora and I will go cry in our cheerios together. 

Indeed...I am sure the BDSM icon OP will continue to enlighten those of us with is spot on points, his ability to makes clear concise sense and well of course, because he is the pinnicle of his real time bdsm community with years of research, I bow and defer to his omniscent presense on these boards and I call him "god". 

Thank you for showing us all the way on your many post all of which but one have been so enlightened that we normal people can't even begin to grasp the amazing concepts and understand the almighty word of one LatexBaby.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: A Good SUb - 8/2/2007 5:59:01 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		LatexBaby64: More people responded to your other thread about "Personality Traits in the lifetsyle" - maybe you want to go take a look at it. It was an interesting topic, in my opinion. You don't sound like a bad guy, but one (little) thing: Punctuation is your friend.

I am not trying to be mean, and it's not a "big deal" - but the "randomness" of what you write would be better understood, perhaps, with a comma or a period inserted when you end more of your thoughts in writing. When you start a new (even slightly new) line of thought, start the writing it with a capital letter.

Either of those methods would work to make what you write, easier to read. Both of them together would mean more sentences. Sentences are easier for people to understand when they read - they are easier to interpret than than words strung together with no punctuation.

When there is no punctuation, many people here (myself included) seem not too certain where your thoughts begin or end. Writing that way can make it difficult to understand what it is you really mean by what you write. I am saying this to be (hopefully) helpful. Just give it a shot.

* Unless you have a learning disability, or another reason you have not mentioned that causes you to write without punctuation - (and if you do, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Seriously). 

Try to use punctuation and capital letters to form sentences, or I believe many people will probably continue to misunderstand what you are attempting to say. And that would maybe make you frustrated, too. It's unfortunate - because you obviously have lots to say, and some of it seems like it could lead to some interesting discussions - If more people are able to understand it.

It's possible to understand at this point - but it's still pretty darn hard to read. Your writing doesn't have to continue to be misunderstood. Sorry if this sounds blunt. I'm trying to be helpful, and save you from possible future trouble. I am not trying to be "difficult".

Personally, I am a really lousy typist, and usually have to go back and spell-check stuff I write, or I can sometimes ahrdly (see what I mean?) read it. You can do this (if you want). Or not.

*What makes a good submissive? A good person, the right Master or Mistress, communication, and common expectations for the relationship. And a sense of humor, maturity, sincerity and perseverance in possibly adverse (or definitely "trying")circumstances. My "two cents." I think anyone who is being nonconsensually abused in a realtionshiop should just plain leave.

- Susan



< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2007 6:59:58 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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