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God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:23:03 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello everyone. I have been looking for a dominant woman for a long time now and it is a tough search but I'm not desperate.

I usually only contact women who state that they are not professional and if they say they are looking for friendship and love even better.

So I find it a bit insulting when I get requests(commands/orders) for monetary tributes or expensive gifts.

This usually comes with a diatribe about proving that I'm genuine and about it being necessary for weeding out the timewasters.

I think that is nonsense, if someone is not a pro and is talking about friendship and love then it becomes quite a despicable thing to do.

What kind of potential friend or lover demands cash before you have even met. Friends should never demand cash, but before you've even met???? The mind boggles.

It's not about weeding out timewasters or the sub proving he is genuine, it's money grabbing plain and simple. It's a way of getting cash of lonely male subs, it is treating people like mugs.

I'm not a lonely doormat or a mug and I wont stand for it.

It seems that some dominant women think male submission is a chance to make easy money and that male subs should gladly hand over cash for the privilege of being treated like a domestic doormat by a woman.

very very bad behavior in my book, and it happens to much. Anyone who does this type of thing should be ashamed (unless you are a pro and say so) Sad Sad Sad!!!!

< Message edited by lucyboy -- 8/6/2007 9:24:31 AM >
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:26:52 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Yep, some people suck, and misrepresent themselves.

It happens every day.  In AND outside of this lifestyle.

Instead of getting so upset about it, ignore them, write them off as a no, and move on to finding someone worthwhile.  It will take time, and some digging.  But hey, that is life.

Don't let yourself get jaded.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to lucyboy)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:28:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I just love the title of the thread- God Diggers.

Plenty of people require plenty of things before meeting.  If it doesn't work for you, move on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aine)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:33:27 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		I wholly agree.  People shouldn't have to dig to find God.  They could go to a church or join a coven or.....well, look within themselves.  Geez.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to lucyboy)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:33:35 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		The other side of the coin ...

After having spent a LOT of time/energy/concern on the umpteenth submissive who has thanked me for all the learning he did under my wing and then left, I begin to understand why some women ask for compensation.  The number of men wishing to submit is high, the number of dominant women fairly low.  How do I sort through people?  By getting to know them.  What kind of dominant am I?  The kind that cares a lot about people who seem sincere and whom I like -- the kind that puts out a lot of energy on someone's behalf.  I often get used as a resource for learning, as if I can sustain myself on their thanks alone.  Submissives fall over themselves to tell me how different I am, how caring, but don't seem to get that I am not a bottomless well.  That doesn't work. 

Part of my regular life is as a teacher.  I get amazing gratification out of seeing people learn and change, but I am also compensated for it.  Within the past week, I told a submissive whom I have known for a while that I want him to start valuing what I do for him by giving me gifts.  Does it feel like a loss?  Yes, to a certain extent it does.  But I cannot give, and give again, and give yet again without something in return.

MSS

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 8/6/2007 9:37:08 AM >

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--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:35:00 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Oh!  (laughing)  God diggers.  That's such a cool image!

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:35:44 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

The other side of the coin ...

After having spent a LOT of time/energy/concern on the umpteenth submissive who has thanked me for all the learning he did under my wing and then left, I begin to understand why some women ask for compensation.  The number of men wishing to submit is high, the number of dominant women fairly low.  How do I sort through people?  By getting to know them?  What kind of dominant am I?  The kind that cares a lot about people who seem sincere and whom I like -- the kind that puts out a lot of energy on someone's behalf.  I often get used as a resource for learning, as if I can sustain myself on their thanks alone.  Submissives fall over themselves to tell me how different I am, how caring, but don't seem to get that I am not a bottomless well.  That doesn't work. 

Part of my regular life is as a teacher.  I get amazing gratification out of seeing people learn and change, but I am also compensated for it.  Withing the past week, I told a submissive whom I have known for a while that I want him to start valuing what I do for him by giving me gifts.  Does it feel like a loss?  Yes, to a certain extent it does.  But I cannot give, and give again, and give yet again without something in return.

MSS

MSS, this is an absolutely brilliant post.  Thanks for sharing your experience.  I have felt the same on countless occasions, and yet I realize that the material things do not fulfill me so I don't bother.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:37:32 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I just love the title of the thread- God Diggers

I know.  I thought, "Oh no.  Here we go again.  Dissin' those who "dig" God.  (BTW- that's totally a joke.  I knew the OP meant gold diggers.  Just kidding).........luci 

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:43:52 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I'm not certain that material things will work, either.  It may just give rise to cynicism, but I think that what it does is to place a value, some value, on what I/we do.  It may be that he says no to the idea, and that is fine.  He's free to walk, or to step up to the plate.  With this person it might work because there is a ground of friendship and regard there.

I do find it frustrating that submissives (and I am not talking about all submissives) say they want someone who cares about them as a person.  I do.  A lot.  I want to say, "Please feel free to get it that I'm not another asshole taking you for a ride."  With the energy output, you can start to feel like ... mom.  Like the care you give out starts to be taken for granted.  I am so not down for that!

MSS


< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 8/6/2007 9:45:57 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:47:04 AM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think at a time and place we have all run into this problem I know i have and i am tried off it me also i email some who say they seek friendship then a hear latter on a few emails latter they want some sort of tribute but its only a frienship well we all get this and yes i also love the title god diggers
these ppl are just who they are and nothing will change them your not alone
 
ross.g

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To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:48:48 AM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I'll reply to this thread as soon as you prove your worthiness by wiring $100 to my untraceable offshore account and the transaction clears...

Seriously, monetary compensation paid in advance in a non-professional situation is about as ridiculous as my above statement.  Reimbursement for costs is just fine and fair.  But the notion of "you have to pay me before I'll meet you"???  Sorry.  No.  That is a scam.

(in reply to MisPandora)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 9:52:14 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EclipseAbove

I'll reply to this thread as soon as you prove your worthiness by wiring $100 to my untraceable offshore account and the transaction clears...

Seriously, monetary compensation paid in advance in a non-professional situation is about as ridiculous as my above statement.  Reimbursement for costs is just fine and fair.  But the notion of "you have to pay me before I'll meet you"???  Sorry.  No.  That is a scam.

You owe me a new keyboard for reading your post.  So there LOL

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to EclipseAbove)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 10:15:36 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence.
- George Washington

(in reply to MisPandora)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 10:26:21 AM   
GoodgirlFind


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline 		I can only say that if a woman is not attracted to you in one way or another and you want her to top service your needs when she feels no attraction to you, you have to remember:



  • you cant get something for nothing.


if you want her to top service your needs, what are you bringing to the table?
A hot body?
A great personality?
If she has no sort of attraction to you, what's her incentive to top service you?

IF you dont want to pay for her top service the things you desire, you have two choices:

1. find a woman for romance/love/long-term. Court her, take her out, talk with her, grow towards a relationship. This way she likes you and will want to play with you. Or

2. Find a woman whose attracted to you enough to want to play with you, even if it's temporary play every once in a while.

To a woman, if it's not for love or romance, what's their incentive to play with you? It would have to either be strong attraction in some form or payment.

If her motto says she wants to weed out fakes or insincere players, that just means she's open to top servicing a man for reasons other than love/romance or mutual attraction which is money. She's telling you basically she won't play with you for free b/c she's not into you enough to spend the time topping your needs but she will for compensation.

If that's not for you, stop making play a priority and instead take the time to court a woman to the point of attraction, compatability, familarity, etc... b/c that's the only way you will get some play, unless you're just hot as hell and she drips to play with you because of that alone.

(in reply to lucyboy)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 10:52:26 AM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy
It seems that some dominant women think male submission is a chance to make easy money and that male subs should gladly hand over cash for the privilege of being treated like a domestic doormat by a woman.


Because it *is* a chance to make money.  *Some* dommes get paid, and *some* subs gladly pay.  Last I checked it's a free country, with a free market, which means we can have whatever relationships we damn well please.

For every one person who thinks pro dommes are shallow gold diggers, there are a hundred more vanilla people who think all lifestylers are shallow perverts.  Just mind your own business and you'll be a lot happier. 

(in reply to lucyboy)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 10:56:23 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Oh wow, if I become a god digger, THEN can I demand tribute?

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 11:21:31 AM   
boy46


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Well, this is unfortunately very frecuent but, you know, internet is a huge country and all are permited, bad and good people the less, and a lot of them ranging the whole spectrum between. Usually web pages recomend us a prudent aproach to someone meet here in internet. Perhaps we might to think a litle when do it. Mainly, but not only, females.

i am with you, lol
:)

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 11:27:31 AM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i say if money is one of the first things after starting contact that is requested politly say your fareweels :)

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 12:56:08 PM   
fusingminds


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		Let's be clear.  The original poster essentially said he is looking for a dominant woman for love and/or friendship and likely intimacy.  He purposely stays away from commercial ads and contacts only those who seem to have a non-commercial interest.  Thus requesting a cash tribute (to "weed out the x's) is a misrepresentation of oneself.  Aine is spot-on in saying so.  Lucyboy understandably views it as a money grab and he's right.  Many of the other responses here miss the point.

We are not discussing whether there is a high demand versus supply.  Just because there is high demand and little supply does not mean that now essentially a bait n switch is appropriate.  We are also not discussing free will and free markets.  Uh duh, of course he can just move on and of course we live in a free market system, so what?  That is not the point.

More interesting was MSS's response.  She reflects on the fact that she is not an endless well and that she is constantly in the role of teacher and that after topping the upteenth submissive all she pretty much has to show for it is a thanks.  Here's my thoughts on that.  Unfortunately, MSS is supposedly not engaging in a commercial endeavor, therefore what she expects in return should really be anything but commercial compensation.  I would say to MSS that her relationships should probably require more give and take from both parties, not just giving on her part.  This is not much different that what I (and I'm sure others) experience in many aspects of our lives.  I too and extremely generous with my time in daily life and am constantly being asked or giving needed advice or consulting services.  For instance, I have clients who pay me very little for some technology services yet will call me for very valuable free advice constantly.  Friends and acquaintences who come to me as a business owner to pick my brain about business (sometimes to even start a competing service) or for me to proof their resumes and discuss their careers as I'm a good resource for them... without much consideration for my time or the value of my advice.  I'm often thanked, but not much else.  The real rub is that I've found then on the infrequent occasion that I need some help on something they are not there for me.  The conclusion I've drawn is that 90% of the people out there are willing to take more then they give.  Male and female.  Just human nature i guess.  All i can do is make a mental note of those who reciprocate (even if it is not to me) and feel comfortable helping them while passing others by.

For some reason, dominant women sometimes give the impression that they are the only people offering a valued experience and that because there are so many subs in need of what they offer that they can change their moral guidelines and principles to justify misleading someone into a commercial agreement instead of a relationship.  Basically what I'm saying is a relationship is a relationship and a commercial venture is commercial.  Each is different, should be different and has their own expectations. 

BTW, I get the point that some folks only have time/desire for some/one relationship of this nature and that all others may choose to be clients.  However, I see many of these profiles and at least these folks say so upfront.  Such as... "looking for females or well hung black men, tribute is required for all others".  Or... "looking for soulmate and partner, those who do not match my desires may still session with but compensation is required".  At least that is upfront and honest.  Not sure why so many see this issue as vague and nebullus. 

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)
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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/6/2007 3:17:02 PM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy
It seems that some dominant women think male submission is a chance to make easy money and that male subs should gladly hand over cash for the privilege of being treated like a domestic doormat by a woman.


Because it *is* a chance to make money.  *Some* dommes get paid, and *some* subs gladly pay.  Last I checked it's a free country, with a free market, which means we can have whatever relationships we damn well please.

For every one person who thinks pro dommes are shallow gold diggers, there are a hundred more vanilla people who think all lifestylers are shallow perverts.  Just mind your own business and you'll be a lot happier. 




Wow this seems to be a bit onesided. I stated in my post I don't have a problem with pro Dommes just women who say they are looking for friendship and relationships then ask for money before meeting. That kind of behavior stinks. (Read before you write Damocles.)

The majority of you seem to think its cool to ask for cash at the same time as saying you're non pro and looking for a relationship.

By Damocles's standard the market shall decide and if there is money to be made go for it. I should just shut my trap.

Behave!!!!!!

I might be sexually submissive but that shouldn't make my point of view wrong and the point of  view that Dommes need compensation right.

Anyway, most of the talk so far has been moaning about how ungratefull sub men are??

Stop being so self centered and if you're partner is self centered get rid.... don't ask for money because that is business.

Either be pro or not, you cant expect payment and still be non pro.

< Message edited by lucyboy -- 8/6/2007 3:38:33 PM >

(in reply to Damocles809)
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