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RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 8:08:30 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not the pro, bear....sheesh....but thankies!

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 8:11:39 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		lucyboy, can we stop for a min, I am trying to read and although I find the respondents funny, I think you are truly upset and I will try to answer your origional question seriously. So as someone mentioned, CHILL.

Think of mistresses, if you will as a different or same breed as Male Masters.  Yet, think deeper. 

Males (in general, not just bdsm lifestyle) do not ask for compensation for their time and energy in dating nor Dominant-partners.  Some might say because men 1. aren't worth paying for, or 2. men have their own wealth (self-sufficient) 3. men have too much pride than to have to be payed (aka won't let a woman pay for his dinner) for his time and attention by some dame in order to enjoy his company or 4. men (in general) are the stronger sex and SHOULD afford such as compensation/security/gifts to a woman because of values and upbringing or so called old fashioned values.

Imagine the life of a Femme Domme, Pro or non pro. She is a woman. She is perhaps a feminist, perhaps just as or more capable as some men in her field of expertise.  She is tired, yet alert, she is perhaps domineering, yet backlashed (for it), she is strong, yet subtle. She struggles, yet disallows any aknowledgement of such.  She is the very same and yet the oppsosite as a submissive.

Please, do not assume that She is less of a Domme because she might ask for a gift.  She may not even have to require of such if this was 1980-ish and pre-internet days.  I have heard of SOME submissives that test/require a means to prove your loyalty via a transaction of some kind. I have heard of some submissives milking cash from Dominants and then disappearing. Why a gal or anyone does this is beyond me.

Although requests of anything monetary is unjust or maybe unkind to some, it might be (since she is distrusting of you as a 'one in a billion' true submissive) she is a non-pro who is inviting you to prove something because she is mistrusting the www scene. Your situation is no different.  If you can send a gift, or imply a gift mentality of non-monetary means to prove to yourself and your potential Domme and she appreciates it, by all means, I suggest that.  If you make her a macaroni necklace and mail it to her and she cooks it out of hunger, then let her eat it.  If you create a picture of her favorite place on earth out of rice and dye it purple for the sky, then let her boil it.  If she wears your macaroni, if she hangs up your rice..then you know OMG she appreciates my effort to prove my love.

If she eats it.  Move on.

My point is????  

Offer to GIVE something other than something of cash value to prove your loyalty and possession to her.  If it/that is rejected then you know you will not and cannot tolerate that and it is a set boundary that you will not cross.

If she accepts your offer, give and give more. 

Untill then, shuddup about it and learn to say NO, stop thinking about it and keep walking. So darn simple.



(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 8:46:40 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Wah.  (stunned, blinking)  That was good.

***

came4u, do you read the advice column on Salon.com?  Your tone is amazingly similar.

MSS

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(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 8:54:12 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Why do you have t o bring God into this?  You have offended a lot of people.
If you don't like what the person says, delete the email.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 9:26:05 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		no Mysweet, I have never heard of it. Will look it up now though lol. Hate to miss out on something.

edit: oooook I just checked it. It is some sort of American magazine. I thought I was being sent to some Domme magazine lol. 

I have never written for/with/on such topics as they would, so, no. No affiliation. It is no National Geographic lol. 

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/8/2007 9:32:05 PM >

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/8/2007 9:33:28 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		What an amazing torrent of sound and fury!

Good heavens, professional victims are incredibly tiresome.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 2:38:34 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'm conceding, I'm wrong you are all right, I have failed to see the subtle nuances and haven't grasped the bigger picture.

I have made sweeping generalisations and tried to tar all Dommes with the same brush, I have been rude, insensitive, pumped up with pride and full of conciet.

I apologise profusely.

Dommes who ask for cash are well within their rights. I see clearly now.

I as a male sub should be pleased that she has even taken the time to write to me.

If I'm not happy with demands for cash I should never complain, I should hold my tongue and in the words of so many of you I should "move on" silently and say nothing.

Dommes are almost always right and if they want cash who am I a mere sub to argue?

Dommes deserve cash just for being Dommes, they put in so much more than any sub ever could (I just failed to realise the effort that goes into being a Domme) subs are usually just a selfish, drain on a Dommes time and energy, monetary compensation is surely a reasonable request.

Anyway if she wants it she should get it. Thats my new motto.

Infact I made the mistake of thinking that I was an equal and could criticise a Dommes behavior, silly me.

Dommes can criticise subs on forums, they have that right, if a sub is not obedient, or is selfish in anyway and a Domme chooses to air her veiws on a forum I (now I have seen the error of my ways) will whole heartedly agree with her.

There is nothing worse than a bad sub.

But for a sub to come on a bdsm forum whining about a Dommes behavior, is a bit pathetic and rude. I see now there is no comparison.

I apologise for my rude, upsetting, arrogant behavior.

I'm wrong

I have just sent her a bundle of cash in the post, I don't care if she replies I'm happy to know my money is going to a better place.

Oh just the thought of her hands touching my cash, it is some sort of connection. I touched that cash now she does. I'm so unworthy and so gratefull that she will accept my money.

I will never criticise a Domme again for as long as I live I thakyou all for teaching me the way of the world and putting me in my place.

Oh how liberated I feel

PS:PrincessBytch is so right, I thank her for taking me down a peg or two. Male subs are unworthy, incapaple, impudent, weak, pathetic and sexualy redundant beings who will never be seen as sexual beings or taken as a partner by any self respecting Domme.

I actually feel good now I have come to terms with my sexual redundacy, I can now commit to offering my domestic services and money to a Dominant woman without pretentions that are well above my station. Thankyou for liberating me PrincessBytch 

< Message edited by lucyboy -- 8/9/2007 3:13:41 AM >

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 5:59:18 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

You all win I give up, no more. bye bye

As you've proven for us all yet again by returning after posting this, drama queens never give up. 

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:05:57 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

You all win I give up, no more. bye bye

As you've proven for us all yet again by returning after posting this, drama queens never give up. 

~stef



I agree with e verything you say, I used to be a drama queen and a whingy whiner. Thankyou for putting me straight

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:08:38 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		lol damn...and I went to bed last night and missed the last  lucyofthehour.

Sad.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:24:04 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

lol damn...and I went to bed last night and missed the last  lucyofthehour.

Sad.


Thankyou, thankyou oh thankyou. You have taught me so much. What delusion I was labouring under, you have cleansed me of my ignorance and freed me of the illusion that I was worthy of having an opinion.

As I now know a subs opinion is only worthy if it is respectfull and uncritical otherwise it becomes a whinge and an attack and deserves nothing but contempt.

I will never criticise again. Please accept my humblest of apologies.

Please contact me if there are any other uppity, whingey subs and I will join you all in showing them the error of their ways.

Nothing worse than a sub who has no respect and doesn't know his place.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Gold Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:26:16 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		don't mind them, some of them thrive off of demeaning others for their opinions. i can't name names, but i think you may have already figured out who i am talking about...LOL.

some people can't live without bashing someone. it's almost as addictive as coffee in the mornings...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:39:03 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

lol damn...and I went to bed last night and missed the last  lucyofthehour.

Sad.


Thankyou, thankyou oh thankyou. You have taught me so much. What delusion I was labouring under, you have cleansed me of my ignorance and freed me of the illusion that I was worthy of having an opinion.

As I now know a subs opinion is only worthy if it is respectfull and uncritical otherwise it becomes a whinge and an attack and deserves nothing but contempt.

I will never criticise again. Please accept my humblest of apologies.

Please contact me if there are any other uppity, whingey subs and I will join you all in showing them the error of their ways.

Nothing worse than a sub who has no respect and doesn't know his place.



Any chance you'll stop and actually listen and read exactly what came4U wrote? To be quite blunt, nothing is worse then a person who refuses to listen to people who are trying to offer another point of view to consider. Frankly from the manner you keep responding, yes you do come across as a whiney ass sub. Kinda puts the rest of us to shame. None of us are perfect ok. You put out attitude, you get attitude right back.

_____________________________

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(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Gold Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:40:28 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		lol wow....and here I thought there had be a promise to leave.  so much for empty promises.

Michael the only one who bashes you around here is you.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Gold Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:42:44 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

don't mind them, some of them thrive off of demeaning others for their opinions. i can't name names, but i think you may have already figured out who i am talking about...LOL.

some people can't live without bashing someone. it's almost as addictive as coffee in the mornings...LOL





Thankyou  Michael but no need they are right. I was wrong, they are not bashing me they are putting me straight.

It was an insensitive and ignorant thread and well to be blunt it was "randomly stupid" to say that non pro Dommes where wrong for demanding cash off strangers.

It is as plain as the nose on my face that asking for money is a perfectly ok and as has been said before the market it so tilted in the favour of Dommes and there is money to be made.

Who can criticise that.

Life is expensive and a sophisticated Domme will have expensive tastes, I feel it as a duty to part with my cash, they need it more than me.

My mistake was not seeing that even mild criticism is an attack, an attack born of ignorance and pride on my part and charachter flaws such as these should not be manifest in a sub, so they all put me straight.

You can't argue with that.

Well I certainly can't argue I now know my place.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 6:49:04 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		lucyboy I am pretty sure that the way you are being treated here has nothing to do with you being submissive.

It is in the way you present yourself and respond to others.

You come across as shrill and overly emotional in part because of your use of multiple !!!!!!! and ????? marks. When you respond to someone whose post you don't like you have the choice of skipping it, responding with hyper-politeness (which can be fun) or trying to retaliate.

It seems you pick retaliation which furthers the dissent and anger.

You also happened to pick a subject that has often been discussed with absolutely no resolution which may be why it was moved to this section. The attitude that comes across from you may also be part of that reason for the shift.

If you are unintentionally presenting yourself as so many are reading you then please take some time and read your posts again. It really does help to drop the !!!!'s and ????'s.

Aside from that  welcome to CollarMe, I hope things turn around for you.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 7:14:39 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

lol damn...and I went to bed last night and missed the last  lucyofthehour.

Sad.


Thankyou, thankyou oh thankyou. You have taught me so much. What delusion I was labouring under, you have cleansed me of my ignorance and freed me of the illusion that I was worthy of having an opinion.

As I now know a subs opinion is only worthy if it is respectfull and uncritical otherwise it becomes a whinge and an attack and deserves nothing but contempt.

I will never criticise again. Please accept my humblest of apologies.

Please contact me if there are any other uppity, whingey subs and I will join you all in showing them the error of their ways.

Nothing worse than a sub who has no respect and doesn't know his place.



Any chance you'll stop and actually listen and read exactly what came4U wrote? To be quite blunt, nothing is worse then a person who refuses to listen to people who are trying to offer another point of view to consider. Frankly from the manner you keep responding, yes you do come across as a whiney ass sub. Kinda puts the rest of us to shame. None of us are perfect ok. You put out attitude, you get attitude right back.


Thankyou for you're rebuke, I see exactly what came4U was saying.

She was saying that submissive men are worth less than women on the BDSM scene and earn more in their careers, so it is a good thing that she demands money and it is honourable for me to part with my cash like a true gentleman.

I should accept that this is the nature of the game.

That I should have a bit of grace and not whinge when a Domme does something I dislike.

I agree totally I should never have criticised a Domme even if she was in the wrong, by criticising I was showing that I'm not only a bad sub but a crap vanilla man as traditional values say that it is a good man that puts his hand in his pocket. Man the bread winner, sub man the obedient bread winner.

She asked me to imagine the life of the Domme, Imagine how alert but tired, she is, how much more capable she is than her peers, how she has strong feminist views, she is subtle, she is domineering but she is discriminated against for her deviation from the norm, she stalks the tall grass and sharpens her claws on the bark of trees, she has a fearsome symetry and a chilling roar but she is hunted by the hunter.

I agree her life is tougher and more sophisticated than mine, her life is expensive and that asking for money is actually an honourable act for such an amazing being. It might have upset me and seemed unfair but I was blind, I was the one at fault

I agree with her, I take it all on board my money is much better spent by such an amazing woman than it is by me and there is no manipulation or shame in a non pro asking for cash.

It is me who has bought shame on myself by thinking that I had a leg to stand on in my feeble whinging criticism of a being so superior to me.

Then she also said that some subs are the real money grabbers, it is sometimes subs who are the mercinary profiteers but never the Domme.

The essence of her post I think was to say I might have had a point but that I should not have raised it on the forum I think the gist of it was "Untill then, shuddup about it and learn to say NO, stop thinking about it and keep walking. So darn simple"

So I was the problem all along and not the behavior of the Domme, it is my inability to let go and walk on that has made you all put me in my place. And she is right, oh so right.


It was her wonderful poetic post that bought me to my senses. Although she does lose it a bit at the end talking about making jewelry out of food for her. It wouldn't work she has demand a genourous cash gift before she even shows me her pics. Macaroni bracelets will not suffice.

Thankyou ever so much all of you, it all makes sense now

< Message edited by lucyboy -- 8/9/2007 7:16:01 AM >

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 7:15:44 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		must be nice to live on your planet....is everyone delusional about men and women there?

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 7:59:42 AM   
lucyboy


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

lucyboy I am pretty sure that the way you are being treated here has nothing to do with you being submissive.

It is in the way you present yourself and respond to others.

You come across as shrill and overly emotional in part because of your use of multiple !!!!!!! and ????? marks. When you respond to someone whose post you don't like you have the choice of skipping it, responding with hyper-politeness (which can be fun) or trying to retaliate.

It seems you pick retaliation which furthers the dissent and anger.

You also happened to pick a subject that has often been discussed with absolutely no resolution which may be why it was moved to this section. The attitude that comes across from you may also be part of that reason for the shift.

If you are unintentionally presenting yourself as so many are reading you then please take some time and read your posts again. It really does help to drop the !!!!'s and ????'s.

Aside from that  welcome to CollarMe, I hope things turn around for you.


Well thankyou very much I didn't realise using the question marks and exclamation marks where bad manners or seen as confrontational.

Thankyou for pointing that out.

And yes I'm not being sarcastic, thankyou I didn't know that and will refrain from doing it.

The reason I retaliated was the way that people reacted to quite a resonable criticism.

They didn't really talk about the cash demand, they reacted to me criticising the cash demand, like my thread was the bad behaviour not the demand for money.

That is illogical. And the only reason I could find to square the circle was that it was my status as a sub that made my criticism a kind of heresy. Especially because you see Dommes criticising subs who are selfish or disobedient all the time on forums but no one tells them to shut up, get over it and move on.

I know it does sound a bit paranoid but how else can you explain the illogicality of the reaction to me expressing a pertinent and fair view.?

Am I so wrong to say that non pro Dommes shouldn't demand cash off of strangers?

If you think about it that is qiute a harmless and fair comment but many posters took offence and came out all guns blazing as if I had said all Dommes are greedy, women should be chained to the cooker and then insulted someones mum.

Its funny how many people have rebuked me for sounding shrill, whiney and confrontational when I had not thrown insults around unlike the sarcastic and venomous Earthycouple.

It wasn't considered opinions I was arguing against it was people who only saw fault in me, people who had projected a negative image on me and my text and had no problems with this lady making cash demands.

It's like the people posting where blind to my point and had projected a shrill, whiney voice on to my text instead of actually reading and understanding my simple point the reaction was "Shut up" So I argued my point, can you blame me?

So I genuinly thank you for you're welcome, it makes a change from the shrill, discourtious posts of people like Earthycouple.

I understand that I might have got a bit uppity after the initial bad reaction of most posters (and the moderaters mysterious decision) and I realise my point might have got a bit lost in the slanging match that proceeded.

I apologise if I upset anyone but as we all know it takes two to tango so people who took offence at my first criticism are just as much to blame as me.

My original point is a pertinant one.  and it was not posted out of anger or a disability to let go but out of pure shock of the blatant profiteering of this woman (who is still demanding cash of me even though I have reported her to the moderators on the site where her profile is) and because this kind of mercinary behaviour actually has an effect on the bdsm community as a whole.

By the way things don't need to turn around for me, I have never been happier, in my vanilla life things are going great, I have been meeting lots of lovely nilla women and I have also been meeting some FAB transvestites. My life is a carnival, I'm not the sad lonely little man with a victim complex that you have all projected on to my text.

Thanks again, a genuine thankyou Camille

< Message edited by lucyboy -- 8/9/2007 8:02:13 AM >

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: God Diggers they are just wrong grrrr - 8/9/2007 8:07:29 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		*whispers so I'm not so shrill*

awww...thanks for the compliments.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to lucyboy)
Profile   Post #: 100
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