quote:

ORIGINAL: fusingminds

Let's be clear.  The original poster essentially said he is looking for a dominant woman for love and/or friendship and likely intimacy.  He purposely stays away from commercial ads and contacts only those who seem to have a non-commercial interest.  Thus requesting a cash tribute (to "weed out the x's) is a misrepresentation of oneself.  Aine is spot-on in saying so.  Lucyboy understandably views it as a money grab and he's right.  Many of the other responses here miss the point.

We are not discussing whether there is a high demand versus supply.  Just because there is high demand and little supply does not mean that now essentially a bait n switch is appropriate.  We are also not discussing free will and free markets.  Uh duh, of course he can just move on and of course we live in a free market system, so what?  That is not the point.

More interesting was MSS's response.  She reflects on the fact that she is not an endless well and that she is constantly in the role of teacher and that after topping the upteenth submissive all she pretty much has to show for it is a thanks.  Here's my thoughts on that.  Unfortunately, MSS is supposedly not engaging in a commercial endeavor, therefore what she expects in return should really be anything but commercial compensation.  I would say to MSS that her relationships should probably require more give and take from both parties, not just giving on her part.  This is not much different that what I (and I'm sure others) experience in many aspects of our lives.  I too and extremely generous with my time in daily life and am constantly being asked or giving needed advice or consulting services.  For instance, I have clients who pay me very little for some technology services yet will call me for very valuable free advice constantly.  Friends and acquaintences who come to me as a business owner to pick my brain about business (sometimes to even start a competing service) or for me to proof their resumes and discuss their careers as I'm a good resource for them... without much consideration for my time or the value of my advice.  I'm often thanked, but not much else.  The real rub is that I've found then on the infrequent occasion that I need some help on something they are not there for me.  The conclusion I've drawn is that 90% of the people out there are willing to take more then they give.  Male and female.  Just human nature i guess.  All i can do is make a mental note of those who reciprocate (even if it is not to me) and feel comfortable helping them while passing others by.

For some reason, dominant women sometimes give the impression that they are the only people offering a valued experience and that because there are so many subs in need of what they offer that they can change their moral guidelines and principles to justify misleading someone into a commercial agreement instead of a relationship.  Basically what I'm saying is a relationship is a relationship and a commercial venture is commercial.  Each is different, should be different and has their own expectations. 

BTW, I get the point that some folks only have time/desire for some/one relationship of this nature and that all others may choose to be clients.  However, I see many of these profiles and at least these folks say so upfront.  Such as... "looking for females or well hung black men, tribute is required for all others".  Or... "looking for soulmate and partner, those who do not match my desires may still session with but compensation is required".  At least that is upfront and honest.  Not sure why so many see this issue as vague and nebullus. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

Why has this thread caused so much upset?? The moderator has moved it to a backwater called polls and random stupidity??? Why

It's surely a serious point.

Has this been badly recieved then bumped to the random stupidity section because it is randomly stupid or because I'm breaking the rules of bdsm by criticising a Domme???

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

Why has this thread caused so much upset?? The moderator has moved it to a backwater called polls and random stupidity??? Why

It's surely a serious point.

Has this been badly recieved then bumped to the random stupidity section because it is randomly stupid or because I'm breaking the rules of bdsm by criticising a Domme???

wah wah wah.  Threads get moved all the time.  "breaking the rules of bdsm...."?  Please.  Now this is randomly stupid.

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

wah wah wah. Threads get moved all the time. "breaking the rules of bdsm...."? Please. Now this is randomly stupid.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Well, here's the other side of that coin.  I post in my profile that I'm looking for friends in the lifestyle of all orientations who share my non kinky hobbies and interests, and that is very literally what I mean.  I don't want money, and I also don't want to be hit on, sleazed at, or asked for sex or play or dating.  Guess what 99% of the guys writing me end up doing, even if they lie like weasels and pretend they're offering friendship.  Sorry, but no dice.  I do play with my friends, but the catch is that you actually have to be interested in being friends for its own sake even if we were to never end up playing. 

Friendship is friendship, and it's not a code word for "yes I will get naked and cater to your sex fetishes."  So please don't offer it unless you mean it, and unless you genuinely like somebody enough that you'd enjoy hanging out with them even if nothing romantic, sexual or kinky ever happened.  If that isn't true, you don't call it friendship, you call it dating. 

In the past I've been blessed with some good T-girl and transgender friends who are great fun to spend time with, go shopping with, help with their makeup, etc.  I've largely quit looking for that kind of energy in my life, even though I miss it, because what I usually get from potential candidates is desperate sexual neediness and totally inconsiderate, disrespectful, selfish sleaziness disguised as "I wanna be friends".  Thanks, but no thanks.  That is as much of a fraudulent misrepresentation of your agenda as pretending to be a non-pro and then charging money. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy
But I think the demanding of cash off strangers thing is probably the worst kind of misrepresentation and verges on the sinister, at the very least it is mercinary, exploitative and greedy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy
But I think the demanding of cash off strangers thing is probably the worst kind of misrepresentation and verges on the sinister, at the very least it is mercinary, exploitative and greedy.

Yeah, well, faking "friendship" to get into a chick's pants that you don't respect, like, or even want to treat as a human being is pretty fucking scummy.  I'd personally rate it as significantly more deceptive and reprehensible than women who ask for money before they are willing to dominate you.

I have no problem with pro dommes.  I do think that "stealth pros" really need to own up to the fact that they're pros, but I don't have a huge problem with anyone who is openly honest and straightforward about making a transaction of their time, skill and energy for your money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeruBetto

I do agree demanding cash is not something a person should be doing when (s)he hasn't even met you before. The majority of the time it's just a scam to get free stuff out of gullible people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

wah wah wah. Threads get moved all the time. "breaking the rules of bdsm...."? Please. Now this is randomly stupid.

He just wanted to know why the thread was moved. Why the rudeness?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

Wow

A mind reader, you are the most amazing phsychotherapist ever.

You have never met me but you know my mental state and motive lol lol.

Paranoid or what???

You have assumed I'm out to get you just because I don't like (non pro) women demanding cash!!

If that makes me a git with an evil agenda that makes you a paranoid person with no sense of perspective.

I fear that you are not the Domme you think you are, more the little mouse afraid of the sub with a mind of his own.

You really are letting the side down, you insult me without knowing me, you shoot down my thread without a decent reason and now you back up a bad moderator desicion without anything more than my criticism of a business woman.

Please you're behahvior is embarasing.

It shows desperation.

I have done nothing more than politely criticise bad behavior but you have seen it as a threat. I think that says alot about you and not much about me.

I hope you can get over it.

What gives you the right to judge me??? I dont judge anyone unless they are money grabbers. I think that is fair....Don't you????

Peace

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

and my point is made. Thank you OP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

You're point is made with you're magic powers, mind reading skills, bad attitide and fear of honesty lol lol lol lol.

say no more

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucyboy

All I have said is that non pro Dommes should not ask or demand cash from people they don't know.

Is that bad behavior on my behalf???

Does that make me a trouble maker with an axe to grind?????

Quite a fair comment me thinks. But Earthlycoule has taken it as a personal assault.

That says allot about her and not much about me.